···
I'm trying to get my head straight
I'm playing in a game that I can't win
I started in the wrong place
A slap to the cold face of love
I wanna stop this goddamn beating heart
It's killing me, this is killing me
I stood up awkwardly and stared at them. Their faces were blank. I looked down nervously and back up.
"Hey. How's ya been?" I asked casually, like I'd only been gone a few days. Carly smiled and screamed a pitch higher than Spencer. She ran towards me and tackled me with a hug. I steadied us so we wouldn't fall backwards and hugged her back. Her shoulders shook and I noticed she started crying.
She pulled back from the hug to wipe away the tears. "I'm sorry, I'm just so happy! Sam, you're back! Where did you go? I mean, I woke up and Freddie was just sitting there and he said you said you were sorry and I was really confused and…"She stopped to cry some more. I hugged her again and patted her back.
"Everything's fine, Carls. I'm back," I responded. For now. I looked at Freddie. His face was still blank. I hugged Carly tighter. "I missed you."
"I missed you too! So much has happened and I always wished that you were there!" Carly started jumping up and down. She was smiling and jumping when she finally noticed my hair. "Oh my god! Your hair!" I touched it self-conciously.
"I had to do something to stop you guys from finding me. And I like red," I explained.
"Why didn't you want us to find you?" Freddie spoke for the first time since I got back. He threw his bags inside and slammed the door. "You didn't think we'd want to know if you were alright or at least alive?" His voice started to rise. I rolled my eyes even though I hadn't thought of that.
"I…just needed to figure some shit out, ok? It really wasn't that big of a deal."
"WASN'T THAT BIG OF A—" He closed his eyes as if he was asking for patience and took a deep breath. "You can't come back here, just like that. It's nice of you to think we're worthy of your time finally but you know what…you're not worth mine," I blinked rapidly, trying to stop the tears.
"Freddie," Carly sighed.
"I hate you and I hate what you did to your hair," he growled as he opened the door and left. Spencer looked at me but I ignored him. I let out a breath and chuckled.
"Good to know the dork hasn't changed. Still in love with the dramatics," I said. Before Carly could explain Freddie, he came back in.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I'm happy your back, I was just angry at you for leaving, and Carly cried, you know for two whole days, and we tried so hard to find you, and," he sighed. "You're back. You really are." He walked up to me and hugged me. I pushed him away after a few minutes.
"I think that's enough of that Fredbag. But what is it about me that makes people ramble so much? Goddamn," I joked. Freddie chuckled, giving me that intense gaze.
"You're too stunning for words," he whispered. I tried to stop myself from smiling but failed. I glanced at Carly who looked between the both of us. I punched him in the shoulder.
"Can you get any more sappy? Save it for someone who likes that stuff, like Carly," I moved Carly into my place. Freddie watched me and Carly giggled, staring at Freddie. I looked back at Mitchell who I had forgotten was even here.
"Oh, you guys, this is Mitchell. I met him at the airport," I introduced, pulling his arm so he stood with the rest of us. It wasn't until I saw them together that I saw Freddie was almost Mitchell's height. It was freaky how tall Freddie had gotten.
Carly smiled at him and then smiled at me. "Cute one, Sam. When'd you meet him?" she asked. I looked at her, confused. Hadn't I just said where?
"Today. At the airport," I walked up to her and stared her straight in the eyes. "Have you been smoking?" She laughed but didn't answer. I looked over at Freddie and noticed him glaring at Mitchell. I rolled my eyes. I was getting annoyed with the fact I couldn't know a guy without being romantically involved with him. Those type of assumptions always pissed me off.
We stood there awkwardly for a little while, not knowing what should happen next. As much as I hoped, things wouldn't go back to normal just like that. Then I remembered Melanie's threat.
"Well, since I'm back, we can start iCarly again," I said, breaking the silence. Carly nodded, enthusiastically and took my hand. She began pulling me upstairs when Mitchell pulled my other arm. He and Carly had a mini tug of war, which he won. No surprise there, what with Carly still having over-boiled noodles for arms. I fell back unto Mitchell and looked up at him. He smiled at me, raising his eyebrows suggestively. I laughed.
"You never gave me my tour. We were supposed to be here for a little while," he complained. I playfully frowned and snapped my finger, swinging my hand.
"Darn, looks like you're going to have to wait," I whispered. Mitchell rolled his eyes at me and pushed me away. I laughed again and stuck my tongue at him. Carly smiled at me again before continuing going upstairs. Oh mother of chizz, she's gonna bug me about him, I thought as I walked up the stairs. I looked behind me when I realized Freddie wasn't following us. Carly was already gone.
"Tech nerd!" I yelled. He jumped a little, obviously zoned out. He looked at me with a pair of sad, brown eyes. He looked down abruptly and made his way to the studio. He passed me on the stairs and I swear my heart stopped. I closed my eyes, breathing in. This had to get better.
"I still don't get what I'm supposed to do," Mitchell said, still complaining. I shrugged.
"I don't know. Just chill out until I'm done. Hang with Spencer," I suggested. He smiled and nodded.
When I got upstairs, before I could get inside, I felt someone pull me to the side. I looked at Freddie, controlling my facial expressions. However, he was not and his intentions were very clear.
"I don't have time for this, Sir Nub-A-Lot." He stared at me and smiled at bit.
"I just can't believe…you're back," he whispered. I nodded.
"Yes. It's really me. I'm not a hologram or a robot or a pod person or any other scifi thing you can think of. I'm Sam and you're Freddie," I replied. I stared straight into his eyes, knowing I had to even though I didn't want to.
"And…I'm sorry," He looked at me, confused and a little scared. "I'm sorry for leaving and cutting you guys out of my life. I don't know why you guys aren't angry at me, I expected it. I was actually kinda hoping for it so that I can leave again." I stopped talking because I said too much. He waited for an explanation I wasn't going to give.
"I'm also sorry because I feel like you're expecting…something from me that I don't have," I continued. "I don't want to be with you Freddie." Biggest Lie yet. I saw the sadness in Freddie's eyes and it made my own eyes water. Dammit! I hate it when Melanie's right.
"I don't want to believe you," he responded. I shrugged, looking down so I could wipe my eyes and sniff subtly.
"I don't care whether you believe me or not, you just—" The door opened and Carly stuck her head out.
"Uh, hey you guys. What's going on?" She gave us a questioning look. It was only then that I realized how close we had been. I leaned away casually and laughed it off.
"I was just making sure Frederly remembered who was in charge around here. He tried to give me rules, psh! He's so protective over you," I patted her shoulder and walked inside before either of them could say anything. Carly walked inside smiling shyly and Freddie walked in glaring at me.
Not much had changed in the studio. Freddie's tech equipment was in here but it wasn't all hooked up and apparently needed an upgrade. They had also started using it as a storage place again. We had to push them away so we could do our video. It was going to be short, just a video to let them know that iCarly would be back. I held the blue remote, getting nostalgic and I couldn't help smiling. I had missed this a lot more than I thought I did.
Freddie moved in front of us with the camera and started his countdown. "In 5, 4, 3, 2…"
···
I'm trying to get my head straight
I didn't see the warning signs ahead
I'm feeling like a dead weight long gone
If I could make it all right I would
I never thought I'd say these things to you
And it's killing me, this is killing me
"…And we're clear," he said as he stopped recording. Carly and I both started laughing hysterically as we took off the kangaroo costumes. We had improvised the whole video and somehow the stuff in storage had been put to use.
When we finished , I realized that out "short" video had turned into an hour long video.
"Oh shit, Mitchell!" I gasped. Carly smirked at me. "What?"
"He is so hot! And you two seem really…"
"We seem like nothing, Carly. I barely know him!" I explained. Through my peripheral vision, I could see Freddie watching us. I turned to him slightly and he looked back at his laptop.
"So get to know him! When was the last time you had a boyfriend?" she asked, putting her hands on her hips.
"A few months ago," Freddie's head snapped back up. "His name was Ernesto," I answered truthfully. I had several "boyfriends" in New York but I did have more hook-ups; just because it was easier to leave before they wake up then stay and talk. I didn't want to talk, I don't talk.
"What? Really? That's…"
"Shocking?" I asked, confused by her surprise.
"No, it's just in high school, you didn't really date," she said.
"We're not in high school anymore, Carls," I replied. She nodded her head sadly. I felt like I'd just told a kid that there's no Santa Claus and that he's adopted.
"Yeah, things were simpler and better then, huh?" I didn't answer and just looked at Freddie. It was a while before I realized that he was looking at me too. We both looked away at the same time. It was then that I realized Carly was looking at Freddie too. "We had each other, iCarly, all those crazy adventures, the parties, the sleepovers, AHHHH!" Carly yelled.
Both Freddie's and my eyes widened in fright when Carly randomly screamed. She turned to me and started jumping up and down. Spencer burst through the door, Mitchell close behind.
"What? What happened?" Spencer yelled. Carly looked at him confused.
"Nothing, why are you here?"
"Because I heard my little sister scream at the top of her lungs! Carrrrllllllyyyyy," Spencer whined, realizing that it was just Carly being over-dramatic. I laughed. Nothing had really changed, not that I expected anything big.
Carly turned back to me and smiled. "What?" I asked, a little creeped out. Did she always smile before?
"Let's have a sleepover today. You and me, like a girl's night!" she squealed. "Only this time you can't sneak away in the middle of night," she half-joked.
"I won't," I promised. I turned to Freddie. I smirked at him. "Upset you won't be here to gawk at Carly in her skimpy PJs?" He snorted.
"Sam! My pajamas are not skimpy," she blushed. I rolled my eyes at her "innocence".
"And you forget Sam, I've already seen Carly naked," he pointed out.
I figured out later on that he was just trying to keep talking to me but at that moment, I felt so stupid. Stupid that I was letting myself be affected by this dick who wanted to move from one best friend to the other. Those types of situations never worked. I felt stupid that I ever even imagined that I could be with him in any shape or form. I felt stupid and worthless and embarrassed.
I could feel my cheeks heat up. Before I could reply, Spencer groaned in disgust. "That's my cue," he said, rushing out the studio and downstairs.
I chuckled, remembering how Spencer had found out that Carly and Freddie were…sexually active. I had been sitting in the hallway, eating a fatcake when Spencer came home. I tried to stop him from going inside but he wouldn't listen to me. That was until he realized that Carly and Freddie were alone in the apartment. Then he screamed and fainted.
"So, how exactly am I finding my way around here?" Mitchell asked. I huffed and dragged my feet.
"Come with me. I can get you to your grandmother's house and I'll help you later," I groaned. I took his hand and took out my purple sharpie that I always kept in my back pocket. I wrote my number on his hand. "Don't wash your hands for a while. I'll be back losers," I called out behind me. I held Mitchell's hand and skipped out the door. He raised his eyebrows.
"Why Samantha!" He said in a fake southern accent, laughing afterwards. I laughed too, as he began skipping with me. When we got downstairs, I whistled for a cabbie. It was a habit I picked up in New York and believe it or not, it's not done as often as the movies make it seem. Actually, I was the only one. "Ditching me? I saw this coming," he pretended to frown.
"It's like you've known me your whole life, right?" I said smirking. I waved to him as he was driven away. He didn't really need me today when he had the cabbie. I wanted to hang out with Carly. And I might've wanted to see Freddie some more. I like to torture myself.
···
I can't stop this train, I can't get off
But I can't go back, I've come too far to stop
There's too many signs to read them all
There's too many roads I need to stumble down
I've gotta get my head straight
I never thought a day like this would come
I'll never be the same way as once
When I got off the elevator, who should be there but Freddie? I smiled weakly at him and walked past, hoping to avoid another talk. But, of course, he walked beside me.
"What do you want now, Fredwiener?" I asked, stopping and turning towards him. He abruptly hugged me like he did before and sighed.
"I missed that," he whispered. I pushed him away.
"And I miss fatcakes but I don't go around hugging any which one I can find," I replied. He smirked at me. "You never answered my question."
"I wanna talk to you," he said. " I have to go visit my mom at the hospital right now. Meet me later at the fire escape."
"No thanks." I tried to go away and he pulled me back to him. "Ok, I've had enough of that." I twisted his arm and he let go.
"Ow, Sam!"
"You shouldn't put your hands on me like that," I said like it was common sense.
"Come on, why won't you meet me?" he whined, stepping dangerously closer to me.
"Maybe because you're dating my best friend. Or maybe because you've seen her naked. Or maybe I just don't want to," I responded.
"No, you want to. But, Carly and I—"
"I don't want to know!" I interrupted.
"I bet I could make you talk to me," he whispered taking one more step closer. We were just 2 centimeters apart now. I felt déjà vu and smiled.
"What, you're gonna kiss me?" I asked. He shook his head and my face fell a little.
"Unless you want me to…" I psh-ed in an attempt to act like he'd seen a trick of light when my face fell. He smirked at me again. I really hated this confident Freddie. "I can promise you a small box of fatcakes." I gasped, my eyes widening. I grabbed him by his collar, (the nub still wore polos.)
"You better not be lying or I will turn you into the first human pretzel," I threatened. He laughed, leaning in to lightly kiss me on the lips. I let go of his collar, stunned. The nerve of this boy.
"I'm not," he promised.
"But they closed down the fatcakes factory before graduation. That fatcake I had was part of a stash I'd made when they announced they were closing down. Stupid health inspectors."
"I know this guy whose father was the owner of fatcakes. Turns out he has a whole warehouse full of them. But yeah, I remember," he said. "I think that was the first time I ever saw you cry." I punched his arm.
"And the only time," I replied.
"No, there was also after graduation…on the fire escape," I rolled my eyes at him when I noticed him leaning closer. I put my arm out in front of me, holding him back.
"Oh god, Freddie. As long as you have the fatcakes, I'll be there." He nodded, smiling like a little girl. I punched his arm again.
"You're such a dweeb," I said chuckling at him. I pulled my arm away and Freddie, the nub that he is, dove at me and kissed me. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me to him. After a while, it was just too hard not to kiss him back. His tongue was practically begging for entrance and I granted it, knowing this kid was dead after this.
When we broke apart, he winked at me. I was, however, giving him the death glare and he realized this, slowly backing away. He pressed the down button on the elevator repeatedly, looking back at me. It was like he was in a horror movie and it made me snicker. To help the horror movie effect, I walked slowly.
I got to him right when the elevator doors opened. I pushed him inside roughly and he hit the wall. I pressed every floor button and stepped out of the elevator as the doors closed.
"Have a nice trip," I said, smiling and waving. I walked back into Carly's apartment. She was sitting at the island, on the iCarly website. She turned to me.
"Guess how many views our video has gotten in the last, like, 30 minutes?"
"Like a Zarillion and a one," I guessed, flopping down onto the couch. She laughed.
"Zarillion? Really? No, but close. Almost 300,000. Everyone is watching it, for those who didn't tune into the live webcast. And your new look is all anyone can talk about," She commented, sitting down next to me. I rolled my eyes. Of course.
"Ugh, I am so tired and jet-lagged. Carly, make me a sam-ich," I said, referring to the "Sam" sandwich that was just bread, every type of deli meat, and mustard. Carly breathed out and gave me a side hug.
"I really missed you, Sam," she said. I nodded my head.
"I missed you too, Carls," I felt awkward for thinking about Freddie at that moment. I really wanted him back here. And maybe we could kiss like that again…
I couldn't decide if I had taken steps backwards or forwards, coming back. Had I even improved when I lived in New York? Again with the self-analyzing!
I leaned more into Carly's hug and started to cry. Carly looked at me, confused.
"Oh my god, Sam, what's…" I cried even harder. I was so tired, and a horrible friend; and I'd missed them both so much, one more than the other. I didn't want to deal with all of this. I wanted hair dye, hiding in foreign apartments, meaningless flings, and those yummy days where my problems just seemed to melt off of my skin.
"I'm so sorry, Carls," I said between sobs. "I never wanted to hurt you. It was just so hard…being here, and I wanted to leave but I was scared to confront you…"
"Sam Puckett, scared of confrontation? I guess I have seen everything," she joked, hoping to lighten the mood. I chuckled.
"I felt like if I talked to you…you'd hate me and I can't, I can't have you hate me so I just left. But the dork-osaurus caught me and made me feel bad and I've had that weight on me this whole time," I broke away from the hug, wiping my tears with my hand. "Can you forgive me, Carly, for being the shittiest friend ever?"
Carly hugged me again, right away. Even though I was upset, these hugs were getting annoying.
"I know it's hard for you to open up and I've accepted that. When you left, I was really sad, but I assumed it was what you had to do. I think Freddie was the one who was the angriest at you," I tried to ignore that comment. "I'm glad you've talked to me now, Sam. Yes, I can forgive you and I hope that you'll come to me with your problems. Not run away without at least saying goodbye to your best friend," Carly said, in her motherly voice. That was one of the things I liked about Carly, she was like the mother I never had and my best friend all in one. I wasn't going to bother seeing my mother, knowing she wouldn't care.
I sniffled, smiling. "Thanks Carls. Now about this sam-ich," I brought it up again. We both laughed again and Carly stood up.
"Right on it," she said.
···
I wanna know if this is for real
I've gotta know what fate has planned for me
I give in, I give in
I give in, I give in
We lay down in her bed, looking at the ceiling; her room was still the same. We talked about our lives, filling each other in on what's happened since graduation. It was once we got to the topics of boyfriends that I became really uncomfortable.
I had started with my tales of Ernesto, Mark, Christian, and how I almost met Johnny Depp when I was on a date with this French guy. Then Carly spoke.
"Wow. Johnny Depp," she said.
"I know right. But I would just like to acknowledge how creepy it is that this guy has been hot and adored for like 3 decades," I replied. Carly laughed with me.
"I never even thought of that," She paused. "But, um, you had a lot more boyfriends that I did." I looked at her, confused.
"What do you mean? Wait, you and Freddie…"
"Yeah," she said, her voice quivering. "He broke up with me two months after you left. I could feel him slipping away but I thought he was just shocked that you left, and then he'd get over it." She started crying. My eyes widened and I thanked the heavens that Carly couldn't see how guilty I looked.
"Aww, Carls," I said, hoping to comfort her. I was so tired of all the hugs so I put my head on her shoulder.
"It turns out that there was more, that he was just staying with me because he felt bad about you leaving but after those two months, he just couldn't take anymore," she sobbed harder and I knew I had to hug her. "I've had two boyfriends since but I miss him so much. I can't help thinking about him even when I go on dates and stuff," she chuckled. "Ok, don't tell anyone this cuz I'm really embarrassed about it but when I was, you know, and I got to that…high point, I said Freddie's name," she covered her face as I laughed. I laughed because I didn't want to cry and because that's so hilarious. Stupid guy must've felt like the tool he was.
"Stop laughing, Sam! It was so embarrassing and I felt so bad for the guy,"
"All I need to know, is, do I know him so I can tease him about this restlessly?" I asked, still laughing. She shook her head.
"He's from my dorm but anyways, yeah. But Sam, that only happened a few months ago," she responded. I stopped laughing and moved away from Carly. "I'm still in love with him and I was hoping that since Christmas is only a week away and we both have off, that we might get back together," she continued.
I gulped, wanting to die. I was in love with my best friend's boyfriend. I should just die in the world of clichés. I knew that Carly was waiting for me to say something but I didn't know if I could talk without bursting out that I still loved him too.
"You guys are perfect, Carlotta. There's no need to worry. You'll be back together in no time," As the words came out, I realized how right they sounded. How my little dream of Freddie and me was as intangible as world peace. Carly snuggled next to me and sighed.
"Thanks for your vote of confidence," she muttered before falling asleep. Nothing like a good cry put Carly to bed.
I debated with myself if I should really go meet Freddie. Could I do that to Carly? Could I do that to myself, knowing that they were endgame and I would never be anything more than a stop along the way?
···
Believe me when I say
There's something I wish I could say
You were always so good to me
Even when it's so hard to be
I sailed myself too far out to sea
On favored whims that won't sing for me
There'll be no rescue, no finding me
As I become an old memory
You once knew, You once knew
Then I remembered the fatcakes. It was the push that I needed but I didn't decide until around 2 am. I was just starting to get tired and now I had to go meet him. He couldn't get mad at me for coming this late. He said later and I was still following his instructions.
I came to the scared window and stared at him. He wasn't facing me, instead, facing the skyline. He was sitting in the lawn chair. He never moved it?
I opened the window and stepped out. He turned abruptly. He obviously had been dozing off while waiting for me to come.
"I knew you'd come at some odd hour," He smiled at me with sleepy eyes. I shrugged. "Can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Why red?" He extended his arm so he could touch my hair. He played with it for a little while before letting go.
"I was reminiscing about Paramore and looking at their old videos. I was watching Pressure and I really like Hayley's hair in it. Plus I needed a disguise so I went to a hair salon, got my hair dyed, and have been doing it ever since." I walked around so I was in front of him. In his lap was a small box. He handed it to me and I opened it. This was enough fatcakes for the next three days. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek.
As I backed away, he grabbed my hand to pull me back. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath.
"Freddie," I sighed. "Carly still loves you." He stopped pulling me and I opened my eyes.
"So you know that we broke up. Now there's nothing in our way, Sam, I broke up with her for you," I shook my head.
"Did you not listen to me? She still loves you! She cried tonight, when she was telling me about it! I can't just get with you," I explained, backing away from him. He stood up, still holding my hand.
"Oh please, Sam! This isn't about Carly. Not fully. Even if she had said nothing, you would've come here tonight to tell me no. Am I wrong?" I didn't reply, just stare. "Exactly. I don't understand why though." He moved so close to me that I could feel his heartbeat. It was going as fast as mine at that moment, and that was the speed of a racecar.
"I don't want to explain. It'll just make this mushy and gushy. It was different when I was drunk and I cared less. But, I just wanted the fatcakes," I lied. I also wanted to kiss him again. He rolled his eyes at me and I pulled my hand away from him.
"What do I have to do to prove that we are perfect for each other?" I raised my eyebrows at his question. "Alright, perfect isn't the right word," he said as he re-thought his argument. "But we're compatible."
"So are you and Carly," I countered.
"Why do you always bring up Carly? She has nothing to do with us!" he yelled. I put my package of fatckes down because I was getting upset and I might lunge at him.
"You must be really naïve if you think Carly has nothing to do with us! She has EVERYTHING to do with us! In case you've forgotten, let me remind you that you were convinced you were in love with her until I left," I yelled back at him.
"You're wrong," he said, his voice quiet all of sudden. "I thought I was in love with Carly until we…kissed for the first time. It felt…right but of course I wouldn't admit it. I think even before then, I was questioning my true feelings for Carly. And then I saved her life, and then the lock in and everything between. I love you, Sam."
My eyes widened. What?
He took my paralyzed state as a chance to kiss me. This was what I had been waiting for and I kissed him back right away. I leaned into him, causing him to step backwards but he pushed back. We both moved so that we were sitting down; him in the chair and me on his lap. Every time we broke for air, he repeated that he loved me.
Our makeout session really started to heat up when we both started pulling at fabric that was in the way of what we wanted. That's when my Sam logic kicked in.
"Freddie, if you loved me, then why were you with…her?" I asked, softly. He froze for a second and I could feel the doubt flow off of him. He didn't really know if he loved me. "Don't act like this has only been me pushing you away," I said my voice wobbly. I stood up and turned away from him just as the tears started pouring. "You walked away as well."
"Sam, I told you before, that I was doing what I thought I was supposed to do. I did love you but I thought you'd never love me and I thought it was just a waste of time—"
"It is a waste of time to love me," I interrupted, getting a little hysterical. "So just stop and get back with Carly. She is who you're supposed to be." I picked up my box and began leaving. I was halfway through the window when Freddie stopped me.
"I don't want Carly. I want you. And I will do whatever it takes to make you believe me, ok?" He had started crying too. I turned to him and laughed at his tear-stained face. I leaned to kiss his cheek but he turned his head to meet me on the lips.
"Please don't Freddie. I'm hurting enough without you making it worse," I said.
"Us together would make both of us happy. You can't try to deny your feelings for me, I know it already. I want you to stop hurting and I know I can do that," He leaned closer to me and followed me as I stepped back into the hallway.
"Yes," I admitted. His eyes widened; he hadn't been expecting me to agree. "But I don't want you to." I walked back into Carly's house, not looking back no matter how much I wanted to. I hid the box of fatcakes in my duffle bag and snuck back into bed with Carly. She didn't need to know a thing and he needed to get over it.
Productive day back.
···
It's silent as I sink into the sea
Weightless as the tide carries me
To darker water where I believe
Something's down here waiting for me
The numbing cold is taking from me
Everything, I'm so far beneath
My eyes, they open one last time to see
You are staring right back at me
A/N: The third chapter, finally done! Sorry for the long wait. Here are a list of obstacles that stopped me: School started again, My participation at the March of Dimes, I'm training to be a day camp counselor, I babysit and don't get home until around 8, I have AP tests and the SatIIs in a couple of weeks. I know that doesn't really mean anything to you guys but I promise I will try to update quicker. I already know what I'm doing for the next two chapters. And also, I just spent most of Mother's Day doing this instead of "bonding" with my mom. I think that counts for my delay. Also, this is another Birds of Tokyo song. I may be obsessed but I did find a new song that I love by Friendly Fires. Watch out for their chapter, should be soon! XP
