"Just juice." she said as Grissom eyed her from the stove, his hand stirring some eggs in a large frying pan.
"Nothing else?" he asked, now pouring the eggs onto a plate for himself, his eyes never leaving her face.
She smoothed her hair with her hand, her eyes avoiding his, "I just don't feel like eating this morning."
He brought his plate to the table, a gentle, billowing steam rising from the food, "You need to eat, Sara."
She pulled her feet up to the wooden chair seat, pushing her knees into the edge of the table, "I'm fine for now."
They sat in silence for a few moments as Sara sipped at her orange juice and Grissom ate his eggs and toast. He also sipped coffee, his eyes roving her face every few seconds for a sign of anything.
"Sorry I fell asleep again on you last night." she put her glass on the table, watching the condensation slip in tiny, full drops down the side, "I guess I was tired."
"I love when you fall asleep on me." he said quietly, now wiping at his mouth with a small, red napkin. He meant to go on, but he changed his mind before his lips could move. He wanted her to begin on her own.
She sat there staring into her cup, fascinated by the pulp that floated on the top of the beverage. She dipped her finger in, gently taking some of the tiny, soft pieces to her lips, bursting them on her waiting tongue. Again, she dragged her finger through the liquid, gathering even more pulp to deposit into her mouth. It was so sweet and delicious to her, as if she had never tasted it before. But she knew why it was different this time. She knew why a lot of things tasted different to her. The world around her even looked changed, but not as wonderful as the pulp orange juice.
She looked from her glass to Grissom who seemed to be pondering her actions, "I...um..." she almost found herself stammering, "the pulp," she smiled softly at him, "just seems so amazing today."
He didn't say a word as he got up to put his dishes in the sink.
She watched him make his way around the tiny hotel kitchen, his back to her most of the time. She was trying to breath, not let her anxiety about what was to come overwhelm her.
Grissom came back to the table with an apple in hand that he placed in front of Sara, "At least eat this." he said as he reseated himself.
Just to make him happy, she took a big bite out of it, feeling a churning in her stomach like she may want to throw up.
He sipped at his coffee, "Shall we talk?"
A furrow met Sara's brow, "Um..." she wasn't sure about talking just yet. She knew she had something out in left field to tell him that might push him away. She didn't want that. Not now. Not in this hour when she was so deeply in love with him.
He raised an eyebrow, sinking himself back in his seat, "Decipher 'um'."
She met his eyes, "You know when, well, all the time I've known you...um..." she looked at the ceiling for a second, clearing her throat, "you know how you have always been there for me."
"Sure." he said quietly, cocking his head to the side slightly.
"But when I went on days," she dipped her finger in the orange juice again, "I didn't have you anymore. I didn't have you watching after me. Knowing all my moods and my hurts." she looked at him, her finger still deep in the liquid, "I've just felt really alone lately."
He looked puzzled.
She quickly went on, "I mean," she said softly, as she brought her finger to her lips, "it isn't your fault, gil. It's mine. I let myself hide from you when you would come home at night. I just wanted to not ruin your day by telling you how awful mine was." she smiled lightly at him, "Now that I have you completely, I didn't want to risk pushing you away."
He drummed his fingers lightly on the table, his eyes still searching her face, "You know that would never happen." he said gently.
"You never know." she took another bite of the apple, again feeling a tightening in her stomach, "You may have been getting tired of me."
He got up then, coming around to her, laying his strong hands on her shoulders, he gently leaned down, kissing her ear, "I could never get tired of you." he whispered as he began massaging her tight shoulders.
She propped her head back against his stomach, looking up at him, "You sure?"
He squeezed the back of her neck, "Positive."
She smiled and he leaned down and kissed her lips.
Sara breathed him in as he parted from her, gently brushing his lips across her forehead. She felt her body shiver in response to him, but knew it wasn't the time for anything intimate.
"Okay." she said as she relaxed her shoulders into his capable hands.
"So you ran away from me because you were lonely?" he questioned as his thumbs moved up the back of her neck again, triggering delightful tingles everywhere.
"That and other things." she said, now tracing the glass edge with her forefinger.
"Which are?" he asked.
She closed her eyes and whispered something hardly audible to Grissoms' waiting ears.
Suddenly he was squatting beside her, his left hand on her shoulder, his right hand on her thigh, "What?" he asked softly as he looked up at her.
She met his gaze, blinked, cleared her throat, "Pregnant."
The word came out raspy and soft; almost as if Sara were chocking on it.
He looked so blank.
"I don't expect you to stick around, I mean..." she put her hand on his, "I know we talked about kids and I was all against it and you weren't sure and now..."
"Wow." he whispered, now getting up to take his seat.
"I totally understand if you don't want to be..."
"Be what?" he looked puzzled again, maybe even scared.
"I just..."
"A father?"
She had tears in her eyes now that she quickly blinked away, "I know you'd make a great one." she blinked more tears away, "Better than my own."
"Come here." he said to her.
She obeyed, slowly walking over to him. He slid his arm around her waist, pulling her onto his lap, his thumbs quick to catch her tears.
She sat with her legs pressed tightly together, Grissoms warm hand grasping her left thigh, pulling her close, "Why would you think I would leave you?" he again lifted his hand to brush at her tears.
She drooped her head, her hair masking her face, "I don't know." she said with a quiver in her voice, "I just haven't been thinking very sanely lately."
"Neither have I." he said, giving her a comforting squeeze.
"I did that to you." she said as she lifted her head, gently shaking it, "I shouldn't have done that to you, Gil."
He smiled a little, pushing a stray hair behind her ear, "It's what you're good at."
She let out a brief, stiffled laugh, but cleared her throat all in the same moment, "I don't think I'll be a good mom." her eyebrows knotted as she looked deep into Grissoms eyes, "But you'll be a good dad?" it came out as a question mixed with a statement.
"I'll try." he said softly and then added, "And you'll be a great mom."
Sara smiled as Grissom tucked his warm hand underneath her shirt.
"You won't have to try." she said as her hand slid back and forth over his hand, "You're too wonderful."
He grinned lightly at her,"You know that this doesn't get you off the hook of talking, right?"
She looked down at his hand moving back and forth over her still flat stomach, "The baby says it should."
"That figures." he said as he kissed her lips gently, "The baby is already on your side."
