Dale gunned the gear box, making the car groan. Lennie gave him a worried look; the boy was obviously terrified. Dale, though, only looked straight ahead, saying: "Just getting started, mate." And he was. This was only the beginning.
"Where did you even learn how to drive?" Lennie asked.
Dale didn't answer him, instead concentrating on the road, on the pedals and the feel of the car moving. It was brilliant.
He'd forgotten how good it felt, being behind a car wheel. Maybe not as good as being behind the handlebars of a bike, nothing would be as good as this, but this was as close as he was going to get now that had been taken away from him.
Dale's vision clouded with anger, and he made the car go even faster.
"Dale, come on, slowdown will you?" asked Lennie. His friends obviously wasn't enjoying the mid- afternoon ride, shown from the fact that he hadn't let go of the seat from the minute he'd gotten into the car. Dale saw that his knuckled were white through the skin. Sure, it was quite funny seeing Lennie look like he might throw up any second, but the drive wasn't about Lennie.
It was about him.
Dale needed a win- he needed some excitement. Stealing the car had been a first, but he needed ore. He needed some excitement, he needed a thrill to blow off some steam, to get rid of the heavy, numb feeling that had settled over him since he'd lost the trials and his bike had been taken away.
He knew just the thing.
"It's alright, calm down!" He shouted above the engine. Still, Lennie held on tight to the car seat.
Dale backed the car up. Then he started to turn it round in a circle- he leant towards Lennie from the forces pulling him to the side. Then he was back up, making the car go faster and faster. The turns became more and more frequent- Dale's head became more and more dizzy.
"Whoa, getting faster…"
"What are you doing? Slow down!" Lennie cried.
"Whoa…"
"It' not funny- we want to take this home in one piece, alright?" Lennie told him. "It's not funny anymore!"
Dale just laughed- it so was.
Round and round they went, getting faster and faster, but Dale was happy. That numb feeling was gone.
But as quickly as he had thought that was it back again. Even as the car went faster and faster, the numb feeing remained, making him feel like he was covered in treacle, or down in the deep end, slowly drowning.
Dale gripped the steering wheel. He needed to get rid of the feeling- he had to get rid of it now.
Stopping the car out of its spin, he turned the car around and went backwards a bit- the backup.
"Right, that's it," Lennie said. "Let's just go home."
Dale ignored him. "Not a bad car," he said. "Let's try this. Come on!"
Lennie looked worried at what Dale was going to do.
He revved the car up again, making the engine groan. When Dale looked over, he said that Lennie had put his head into his hand. Dale made a mental note never to take his friend to a theme park. He pressed down on the accelerator, and now, when he looked, Lennie was staring straight ahead, his eyes wide open- he was terrified.
"Come on!" Dale cried. The car zoomed forward, getting closer and closer to the wall.
"Dale, you're gonna hit the wall! You're going to hit the wall!" Lennie screamed.
But Dale ignored him, staring straight ahead, his foot firmly jammed on the accelerator. Faster and faster they went, the landscape outside zooming past him like he was going a thousand miles an hour. It was brilliant. The numb feeling in his chest, although it wasn't completely done, had warmed up a bit, and the closer they got to the wall, the smaller the feeling became.
The buzz was nearly back.
"Stop, Dale!" Lennie screamed at the top of his voice.
The wall was rushing up to meet them, but Lennie's panicked voice had gotten through to Dale. He waited a few seconds, concentration on the car below him, on the engine, on the feeling it gave him, risking his life. But, either from Lennie's voice or the fact that Dale was a coward (He'd known this already- he couldn't even stick to his diet properly,) Dale managed to stop the car before they both became pancakes.
As the car stopped, Dale stared at Lennie, grinning like a mad man. His friend was the opposite; he looked like he'd left something in his trousers before they'd hit the wall. The numbness was still nearly gone- making Dale feel as light as air.
But it was sods law, because as soon as they'd driven a few hundred metres, it was back again.
Dale crept through the door of the school house. Lennie was right behind him. They walked straight into the kitchen- Dale's least favourite room- and bumped straight into Maggie, when Dale was holding her keys.
"Alright lads?" She asked, walking straight up to them.
Dale didn't miss a beat, though.
"Yeah…" He said, holding up her car keys. Then, as smooth as an oily salesman, he said: Are these yours? I found them out in the hallway."
Confused, Maggie looked at them. "They must have fallen out of me bag. Thanks."
She smiled and he smiled back- it was too easy, though Dale. It was like Maggie was asking him to do it, making it so easy. At least at his other schools, they'd made it a challenge.
"Hook, line and sinker." He said, going upstairs.
"Look, she's not stupid," Lennie followed him. "Right, don't risk that again Dale."
"You're serious?" He asked him in disbelief. "That's just for starters."
He'd get rid of that numb feeling- even if it killed him.
In his room, Dale jumped onto his bed. His whole body ached; from either the adrenaline or the lack of food- Dale couldn't tell. The car ride had been fantastic- although he still had the numb feeling, for a second, adrenaline had run through his veins- almost like the day of the bike trial.
It wasn't enough though- he'd have to do more. He had to.
Lying on his bed, Dale's thoughts on driving drifted to a person that he hadn't thought about in years- his uncle. Dave had been the one to teach him how to drive, in the hope that having something to concentrate on would stop his wild, dangerous behaviour. And, for a while there, it'd worked.
Dale had enjoyed learning to drive with Dave, The man might have had a terrible goatee and been slightly annoying, with his slightly hippie and always enthusiastic personality, but he had been nice enough. Driving with Dave had been fun, gave him something to do, and, most importantly, had kept him away from his Aunt and his cat.
Dale's stomach flipped at the thought of Dave- he hadn't allowed himself to think of the man in years. When he'd left, Dale had been so angry; it had been like he was being abandoned. There were no more lessons, his behaviour was in a downwards spiral, and his Aunt was worse than over…
Shaking his head out of his thoughts, Dale ran his hands up and down his legs. Those thoughts were bad thoughts, and he didn't want them- things were bad enough as it was.
As he ran his hands up and down them, Dale's legs ached. He was still doing well, he supposed, with Maggie watching his every move like a hawk. He'd only gained a few pounds on that diet, and now that he couldn't cycle, he was going to lose even more.
After all, he had no reason to put it on after all. He was going to do wat he wanted, and that was to finally get thin. He was going to stick to his very own diet plan and everything.
"Cheat," he said.
He'd broken the rules, though, and he was cheat. Yoghurts had no place on Dale's eating plan, yet he'd eaten one anyway, like the fat pig he was. How could he have said no though? Learning that El's mum had an eating disorder, her looking at him the whole time- it had weakened him.
No more though- he was going to be stronger, stick to his diet and continue with the progress he'd made. He was finally going to get thin.
At the thought of El, his stomach started to feel funny. Stretching his arms above his head, Dale thought on it. He liked El, he really did. She might be kind of weird… a lot weird actually, Dale thought, but she was smart and funny, and he liked her, he really did. He also liked the fact that she didn't run for the hills when she'd learned what a fuck up he was.
The butterflies in his stomach… they weren't nerves, like when he thought of Dave. He'd felt them over lunch, after the yoghurt scene. They'd talked for a bit, about Dale and his problems and the bike trial that had gone wrong. El had listened, looking like she was actually interested.
For once, Dale felt like someone actually cared.
That was something that Dale hadn't felt since Dave had walked out and him and his Aunt, before his mum had died, leaving him with her.
El had told him more about her mum and her eating disorder, but, apart from that she hadn't told him any more about her parents. Not that Dale could complain; he hadn't told her anything either. But he liked El- she made him smile.
Then the Havalock lot had left and Dale had been left sitting alone. He looked at the empty yoghurt pot and thought of El, and he got this… feeling. This feeling of butterflies in the bottom of his stomach, not nerves, but something else entirely- it was nice. Really nice.
And it was happening every time he thought of El. Every time he thought of her jokes, even the terrible ones (there were many), every time she sprouted a science fact or every time she listened to him properly, looking at him with those bright green eyes.
She must like me, Dale thought. Otherwise why else would she come up to me in the first place? The presentation had probably just been an excuse to talk to him. He'd had girls do it to him before. Yeah, with all that happened today, with El choosing to sit by him, Dale knew she liked him.
As he lay on the bed, the numb feeling was still there, weighing him down so that he thought that he might fall through the bed (which he now knew was a quantum possibility, thanks to El), but there was something else; the butterflies in the pit of his stomach.
Now, as he though to El, of her brown hair, her green eyes and red lips –oh, those lips, he felt slightly lighter. Only slightly, but it was like a weight had been lifted off his chest. Like a rock had been removed from his windpipe. And with the numb feeing drowning him, Dale would take all the help that he could get.
Later, Lennie poked his head round the door. It was around six- thirty, and Dale was still lying on his bed, thinking about El amongst other things.
"Dinners ready, mate." He said.
Dale looked at his friend. "You're not going to tell her, are you?" He asked, about Maggie.
Lennie looked offended. "No, of course not! She'd kill us."
"Good," Dale said, getting off his bed. He took off his coat and then followed Lennie downstairs, where he could smell food: Maggie's meatloaf. No doubt Dale would be getting some doctor's orders version that would make him gain weight just by looking at it.
Sure enough, he got a plate piled high with meatloaf, with a side of potatoes slathered with butter and green beans with the same on them. Dale could see the butter oozing from it, dripping down onto his plate and mixing with the meatloaf juices. How many calories was it? 500? 1000? 1500? God.
As he poked his fork around his plate, not eating anything. He felt Maggie's eyes on him. The woman was obviously trying to make it inconspicuous, but it wasn't working, because he could see her spying on him. Why couldn't she just keep her nose out?
"Come on Dale, eat a bit. You have to stick to your diet."
He ignored her, staring straight ahead. Dale felt another pair of eyes on him, when he looked up, he saw they were Lennie's. His friend probably thought he was being rude, but oh well. He was still so angry with the both of them; they'd ruined his dreams, so maybe they deserved to suffer. Maybe that's why he'd enjoyed the car ride today- it had scared Lennie.
Or maybe he was just a terrible person- after all, he couldn't even stick to his diet or make it onto the team. Well, no more. He'd get thin, whatever it took. No more jiggling thighs when he walked, no more bingo wings when he swung his arms.
Then Dale's thoughts moved away from the kitchen and onto El. He wondered what she was doing, if she was eating and what. He didn't see her tomorrow, as they didn't have science, but soon.
Soon he'd see her again and make his move.
