I own nothing although I would love to keep the Merry Men. It's mostly being done as emails between Stephanie and her Merry Man of the day. Thanks for reading.

I'm behind on posting (works been insane) but I plan to get back on track.

Warning: Language

I saw the requests for Ranger and Tank. They will probably be last.

Office Hijinks II – Chapter 3

As I sit here on this lovely, dreary Monday afternoon, I think about who to play with today. I finally decide on Binkie since I did his partner Cal yesterday. I sent him the email inviting him to play and waited. Before he had a chance to respond Tank walked over to me.

"Little girl, do you know anything about Hal and wood goblins? I had to send him to talk to Bobby cause he keeps muttering about them killing him."

"No Tank, I meow don't know anything. Is he alright? Did he meow experience something traumatic lately?"

Tank sighed and rubbed his chin, "Leave diagnosing to Bobby. I don't know how many times I'm going to have to tell you that. And stop watching medical shows."

"Sure thing big guy. Is there meow anything I can do to meow help?"

"Yeah, stop breaking the guys. First physical, now mental." I heard Tank mumble something about 'fucking Ranger' as he walked away. Hmm, I think he's a bit stressed.

Start Email

Binkie: Hey, yeah I'll play.

Stephanie: Ok. Just an fyi, I'm the game mistress and you don't get to jump ahead. Got it?

Binkie: Ma'am yes ma'am

Stephanie: STOP CALLING ME MA'AM!

Binkie: ha ha ha :D

Stephanie: Sigh, let's get started. You are working in your cube, randomly staring at the gray walls. Suddenly, the walls appear to be moving. It looks like something is crawling under the fabric. As you watch, the fabric tears and thousands of Grasshoppers coming from the cubicle walls. You climb onto your desk and look around. Suddenly, you see Lester coming from his office screaming "All Hail the Grasshopper King!" Lester tells you to kneel before the Grasshopper King. Do you?

Binkie: Wow, you're twisted.

Stephanie: Thank you, I try.

Binkie: I refuse to kneel before nut job the wanna be king.

Stephanie: Lester shoots you in each knee and grasshoppers climb your back forcing you to your knees. Lester is so insane at this point that your insubordination has pushed him over the edge and he has the grasshoppers eat you. Tank finally comes out of his office and double taps Lester. The end.

End Email

Stephanie stood up and called across the cubes, "Damn Binkie that was way too quick."

Binkie just stared at her and said "Fucking Lester, fucking Grasshopper king my fucking ass. He's going down."

Stephanie ran after Binkie as he stalked to Lester's office, "Stop Binkie! It was a game. It's not real." She jumped on Binkie's back and stunned him just as Lester came out of his office to see what the commotion was.

As Binkie went down with Stephanie on his back Tank came out, "What the fuck is going on?" he roared. He spied Binkie and Stephanie on the floor, wrapped an arm around Stephanie's waist and picked her up; he threw Binkie over his shoulder, and carried them to three. Tank tossed Binkie onto the exam table and told Bobby to deal with him and carried Stephanie to the basement. Steph's eyes grew wide seeing the cells down there. He went into an interrogation room and gently put her in a chair.

"What's going on?"

"Choose your own adventure. A simple game. I had no clue the guys would take it so seriously. I swear I wasn't trying to get them to act like this."

Tank rubbed his head and sighed. "Put a disclaimer on them at the start of the game. Make sure you tell them at the end too. This is getting a little too crazy even for these guys. When do I get mine?"

Steph was stunned, "You wanna play too?"

"Hell yeah little girl. Did you get Lester yet?"

"No, I have a truly twisted one for him. I'm already planning Hector's so you can go after him. Than Bobby and Lester."

"Deal. Pretend I reprimanded you."

"Ok Big Guy."

They both made their way upstairs and back to work.