Disclaimer: I do not own TMNT.
03
"And just about done," Raphael said, pulling his arm out from under Michelangelo's bed. "Oh, gross," he cried out when he saw the moldy teddy bear he'd retrieved from the abyss. "Unbelievable," he muttered, getting to his feet and shaking his head.
He stood and surveyed the room silently. It had been exactly one week since the incident with the Purple Dragons, and one week since Splinter had put him on clean-up duty for the entire lair. It was supposed to be a punishment, but Raph knew that the real reason Splinter was making him do this was to keep him distracted, and it was working. Most of the anxiety and depression he had felt on that night was gone now thanks to his master's guidance, but it still sucked. That was a whole week he could have spent beating Super Mario 64.
"Hey, you found Booboo!"
Raphael looked up to see Michelangelo standing in the doorway. Then he looked from the bear to his brother and back again. "You mean you like this thing?" he said skeptically. The bear's stuffing was leaking out from beneath a mountain of duct-tape and there was an aging piece of pizza plastered across it's face that had begun to sprout mushrooms of the non-editable variety.
"Of course," Mikey said, taking the bear from him. "Booboo's my bro. I have had him since forever ago. Thanks for finding him." He peeled the pizza off the bear's face and ate it in one bite.
Raph worked hard to keep a look of disgust off his face. "Yeah, whatever," he said, grabbing the three bulging bags of garbage off the floor of the room. "Just do me a favor and try to keep it clean in here." He started to leave the room.
"Oh, btw," Michelangelo said, flopping down onto his newly made bed. "April is here. She said something about wanting to talk to you."
Raphael paused and looked at Mikey. "Did she say why?" he asked him.
"Don't think so," Michelangelo said, throwing Booboo up into the air and catching him again. "I sort of spaced out after DBZ came on, you know?"
Raphael sighed, shaking his head. "Yeah, I know," he muttered. Mikey had the attention span of a freaking flea.
He walked the past pit and into the kitchen, wondering what April could want. It wasn't all that long ago that she had been avoiding him and the others like the plague – not that they didn't deserve it. It was because of them that her dad was now a giant, mutated fruit bat. But, lately, she had started coming around the lair again and had even spent the night a couple of times. Raph thought it was because she had finally decided that Donatello had suffered enough of the silent treatment – either that or she was trying to torture him with the new "friend", Casey Jones, she had brought with her. No one really knew how to feel about Casey, except for Donnie who hated him. Raph thought Casey would have been alright if hadn't been for April situation or the regular urge he felt to punch him in the face whenever he said something stupid.
"Oh, Raph, you got a minute?"
Raphael cringed at the sound of April's voice as he dropped the garbage bags into the compressor, and silently prayed that she wasn't about to ask him to help her decide who she should take with her to the school dance or some other girly thing. "Yeah, sure," he said, looking up as she walked over to him. He sat down across from her at the large, stainless island table that took up the majority of the kitchen.
"So I hope you don't mind," April said, smiling at him, "but I kind of wanted to talk to you about that girl you guys saved – you know, from the Dragons. Donnie told me all about what happened."
Raphael felt his spine turn immediately rigid. This was exactly the thing he had been trying not to think about. This was exactly the thing he had been trying so hard to forget about, but despite his best efforts, he hadn't been able to. Not completely. Most of what he remembered about her had just faded into a blur – her face, the look in her eyes on that night, the way her blood had soaked through her clothes as she lay unable to move. All of those things he had fixated on one week ago that had made him want to turn and run back to that ally had become a painful memory, except for one detail: Her voice. It was still trapped inside his head like a song set on "Repeat". Whenever someone put on a horror movie, he heard her screaming instead of the B-grade actors on the screen. If he ever had a nightmare, it was her scream he heard instead of his own. Except for the times he dreamed about soaring through the city, jumping from roof to roof, searching for someone he knew was in danger only to hear her words from that night again:
"Don't touch me! D-don't, please!"
It just wouldn't go away, no matter how hard he tried to block it out. That was why a small part of him was constantly wondering if she was okay or if she would ever use that T-phone to contact him. But...No, she wouldn't. Why would she reach out to someone she was afraid of?
"Raph?" April said, breaking his train. "Raph, it's about tha–"
"What about her?" Raphael snapped, cutting her off. He hadn't meant to, but even the mention of her just made the screams come rushing back. His head was already aching from the effort he was putting into blocking them out.
April frowned, looking slightly hurt and said, "Nothing..." Her voice trailed off. Then after a moment of careful thought she added, "It's just that I'm pretty sure she and I go to school together."
Raphael looked up at her. "What?" he asked her. Then he remembered. The area they had been patrolling that night had been in April's school district. In fact, April was the whole reason they had been in that part of the city.
"Well," April said, "I found a girl that sort of sounds like her and she missed a couple days of school last week that match up with when the attack was. Plus, it looks like she just got out of the hospital and the rumor is that she was jumped by some thugs or whatever. Hold on." She pulled out her phone and began tapping away at it. Then she held it out to him hesitantly. "Is that her – the girl you saved?"
It took every ounce of strength Raphael had to keep from slapping the phone out of April's hand when he saw what was on the screen. If he had known she was going to bombard him with this, he would have just locked himself in his room and stayed there. Now, he stared silently, in stony-faced shock at the Friendspace page she had pulled up that had a huge picture of the girl splashed across the profile banner. In the picture, she was sitting on the floor of a messy living room with bad lighting, surrounded by text books with a little mousy-haired girl not much older than five or six sitting beside her, staring up at her. Her long, black hair was piled on her head in a sloppy bun and her eyes were lit up as she smiled down at the younger girl, who Raph thought must have been her sister or something. Then his eyes drifted down to her name: Mia Blake.
And that was when he lost it. He grabbed the phone from April and slammed it face down on the tabletop. "Why the hell are you showing me this, April?" he growled at her. "I didn't ask for you to tell me this or to show me this or to find out anything about her!" He jumped to his feet and stormed out of the kitchen. He knew he had crossed a line, and he could feel the tension that had filled the sewer lair.
"So that was her then?" April asked him matter-of-factly.
"April, stop it," Leonardo said from his spot in the pit. He scowled at his brother. "What is your problem, Raph – April was only trying to help."
"My – my problem?!" Raphael sputtered, scowling right back at him. Then he stopped himself because he had almost said too much. He took a breath and said, panting, "I don't freaking know. I don't have a problem, Leo. I just want to be left alone."
He pushed past Leo and started off for his room, knowing everything he had said back there was a lie. He knew exactly what was wrong. Her name was Mia. Mia Blake, that's what was wrong. He couldn't handle her having a name. He couldn't handle knowing her name. That made her real – an actual, living, breathing person. Not just a bad memory he could move on from and forget about. No. Now, she was Mia and Mia was afraid of him. Mia hated him. Mia thought he was a monster, he thought as he closed the door to his bedroom behind him.
Then he threw himself down on the bed and let his mind drift back to that night, back to his talk with Splinter in the dojo:
Raphael stared up at Splinter as they knelt side by side on the raised platform of the dojo. He knew his master wasn't mad at him anymore. He could tell by how disappointed he looked, but he still couldn't keep the words from coming out. "I-I just wanted her to understand," he said in a shaking, helpless voice that made him ashamed to even think about. "I just didn't want her to be afraid, Sensei. I was just wanted her to know she didn't have to be..." His voice trailed off and he looked down at the dozen or so oriental rugs that made up the training mats he had been using his whole life.
Splinter sighed. Then he reached out and put his hand on his shoulder. "What is done is done, my son," he said simply. He was silent for a moment before he went on. "All warriors have battles that they wish to forget. Your brothers will have them eventually." He grabbed his staff off the floor and pushed himself to his feet. "It is best you try to forget what has happened tonight, Raphael, so that it does not haunt you in the future as well."
And that was exactly what Raphael had been trying to do. To forget everything about her and that night. To block out the gunshots, the screams, the sounds of her sobbing in agony. To force himself into not worrying about her. But she had a name now, and suddenly, he was finding that a lot harder to do.
Mia lay in her bed silently, her brain fuzzy with sleep and her eyes watering with tears for the third time in a week. She wasn't sure why, but the counselor she was being forced to see at school said it was anxiety from the attack. But maybe she was just afraid she was losing her mind?
Ever since she had woken up in the hospital, Mia had been trying to avoid thinking about the boy who had saved her. The boy who also happened to be a giant, talking turtle named Raphael. Once or twice her curiosity had gotten the better of her and she gone online to see if she could proof of his existence. But all she managed to find were some blurry videos on blogs and some old news clips from questionable sources. Mostly, though, she just wanted to forget the whole thing had ever happened simply because she was tired. She was tired of wondering why or how a giant turtle was living in NYC, she was tired of looking over her shoulder when she was walking Clara to school, and she was tired of getting yelled at for the growing stockpile of MACE she had built in her closet because she didn't know how else to defend herself – especially since she was in a cast and walking on crutches – if she was ever attacked again.
So she invented a quick lie about the strange cellphone being a toy Clara must have brought home from school and just let her play with it. It was definitely the easiest way to explain her newest obsession: Turtles.
"Mia, what are you still doing in bed?" Janie asked, appearing in the doorway of the room. "You need to get ready. Troy is going to be here soon."
Mia cringed at the mention of Troy's name as she climbed out of bed. He had been all over her ever since she got out of the hospital. He called her day and night, and walked her to and from school, no matter how cold she was to him. She didn't what else to do. She had stopped speaking to him in school, wasn't taking his calls, and was actively avoiding him as much as possible. He just wouldn't leave her alone, though. Nonetheless, she knew that having him walk her to school made Janie feel more at ease, so she kept her mouth shut about how she hated it just to keep Janie from being mad at her. "Alright," she muttered, forcing herself to sit up. She grabbed her crutches off the floor and got dressed quickly.
Then when she was finished, she paused. There was the phone just sitting there in the middle of a pile of Clara's toys on the floor. For the first time since she realized she had it, the phone was silent. Before it had been ringing nonstop with all kinds of calls and nonstop text messages. She had thought about looking through some of them, but knew that she would probably regret it. Now, though, its silence filled her with an unusual sort of unease. A part of Mia had realized that she had said horrible things to Raphael the night she had been attacked, but she didn't know what to do. How was she supposed to move on with her life if she was constantly stressed out over something she'd said to someone she might possibly never see again? Did he even care if she apologized?
Mia balanced herself on the crutches and picked the phone up silently. Then she threw it into the toy box on the other side of the room. She just wanted to forget.
"Hey, babe," Troy greeted her later that day outside of her Marine Bio class. "How was class?"
Mia frowned at him and sighed. Clearly, the silent treatment wasn't working. Time to try a new approach. "Fine," she said, ducking out of the way of his arm when he tried to put it around her.
Troy smirked and followed her down the hallway. "Cool, cool," he said, nodding. "Is it okay if I walk you to lunch?"
"Actually," Mia said, "I was just on my way to my locker." She pointed down the hall to where her locker was.
"Alright," Troy said. "I'll just carry your books then." He snatched the books out of her hand, and walked ahead of her.
"Troy –" Mia cried out, hobbling after him.
Troy spun around and pressed his hand over her mouth. "Hey, just chill out, would you?" he asked her with a pleading smile. "People are starting to stare."
Mia reached up and shoved his hand away from her. She stared after him as he turned and continued down the hall. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she spat at him. "I've tried being polite, but walking me to school, carrying my books – what is with you? You were never this devoted when we were a couple!" They reached her locker and she threw the crutches against it with a resounding bang.
"What are you talking about?" Troy asked her, laughing in disbelief. "I know we're in a weird place right now, but we're still a couple. That's why I'm trying to make things better between us, Mia. I mean, that is what you wanted, right?" He threw her books in the locker.
"You know what," Mia said, grabbing the books for the rest of her classes. "A year ago, I probably would have loved it, but there is such a thing as trying too hard..." Her voice trailed off as realization dawned on her. She looked up at him and asked in a stunned whisper, "Do you like me being this way?"
Troy stared at her cluelessly. "What way?"
Mia stared at him, uncertainly. There was no way he'd ever actually tell her. Not if he was doing what she thought was doing. "Nothing," she said, closing her locker and turning away from him. "I don't think I'm going to eat lunch today," she added, quickly inventing an excuse. "I need to go to the library. I have an essay to write."
"That's cool," Troy smiled at her. "Text me when you're done. I'll walk you to class." He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek before she could duck out of the way.
Mia watched him disappear down the hallway into the cafeteria and for the first time since that morning, she allowed her thoughts to drift back to the phone. Right now, she would give anything to know that thing was the least of her worries.
Mia stood at the sink in the cramped kitchen of her tiny apartment, washing the dinner dishes silently. From where she stood, she could see Clara in the living room coloring with her crayons with the phone clenched tightly in her free hand. She turned her gaze back to the murky dish water and finished rinsing out a cup. She felt strange. Her mind was filled with panic, but it was much duller than the usual panic she felt these days. After their talk in the hall at school, she hadn't seen Troy again all day. He hadn't called her or texted her at all, either. But she was being silly, right? He had probably just thought about what she had decided and decided to move on. He had finally learned when to give up.
She probably should have been happy that he was finally leaving her alone, Mia thought, rinsing a pasta strainer. Maybe now she could finally focus on the things that were really important. Like forgetting.
"Hello? Hey, hello, who is this?"
Mia looked up at the sound an unfamiliar boy's voice, but there wasn't anyone else in the room. It was just her and Clara. "Clara –" she cried out when she saw the phone, glowing with life in her hand.
Mia felt all of the color drain from her face and she immediately connected the dots. Clara had called someone. Using the weird turtle phone. On speaker. What if she had -?
"Who is this?" the voice on the other end said. "How did you get this number?!" He was starting to sound irritated.
"Omg, omg, omg," Mia said, grabbing her crutches from off the table. She half-ran out of the kitchen. "Clara, what did you –?" Then she cried out loudly as she found herself suddenly on the floor. She had tripped over the stupid crayons.
Clara stared at her silently, looking unsure of what to do.
Then, suddenly, Mia heard the muffled sounds of movement on the other end of the phone. Then she heard a second more familiar voice. "Hello, this isn't Mia, is it?" he said. "Mia – ?"
Yep, she had.
Mia launched herself across the living room and snatched the phone out of Clara's hand. Then she pushed the End button as hard as she possibly could, cutting him off and ending the call.
A/N: First of all, I just wanted to give a quick shout out to everyone who took the time to read and review this fic. Thank you, guys, so much. Your support means so much to me. Without you, this chapter would never have been posted.
Second of all, I decided to throw Casey into the fic simply because I just couldn't bring myself to break canon. Leaving him out would have made this fic feel way too AU. However, we probably won't be seeing him very much because he's not really around that much, I think, in the show and because, honestly, him and Raphael just don't seem super close to me. They just seem like okay-ish friends that want to punch each other. Not best buds.
Anyway, please feel free to comment on that and, of course, the fic itself via a review or PM to me.
Thanks, guys! R&R!
