The evening proceeded as excruciatingly slow as it had started, considering it was a weeknight. The crowd was decent, an average for a cold January night, the fluffy snow blanketing the city in a beautiful white sheet, glistening in the moonlight. Killian glanced down at his watch before extending his arm to hail a cab, ungracefully climbing into the back seat with a loud plop.
He slammed the door behind him, telling the driver his address, before hearing a feminine shout from outside the door, an incessant knocking rapping against the fogged window. Pushing the door open, Killian was greeted with none other than Emma Swan. Both of their faces fell at the sight of each other, Killian instantly praying that she'd wait for another cab.
"Swan," he began in a hard tone, giving her the impression that he was less than excited for her untimely appearance.
"Normally, I'd rather wait in the downpour of snow than share a cab with you," she icily snapped as a few snowflakes got caught in her eyelashes, causing her to blink rapidly, "but I'm kind of in a hurry. So suck it up and shut up. No talking."
Glaring at her, Killian scooted back inside the cab, pressing himself as close to the door as he could, his warm breath fogging up the icy window, avoiding her gaze as she climbed into the car and quietly told the driver her address. Although his body was angled away from hers, he could feel the heat radiating from her, which was surprising considering the low temperature outside.
They rode together in silence for a few blocks, no noise emitting from the vehicle except the low buzz of the radio, static breaking up the early millennial break-up tune that had been playing softly in the background. Feeling Emma's eyes on him, Killian took the moment to steal a glance at her, finding her eyes cut to him, which she quickly averted as she had been caught, a faint red blush appearing on her cheeks.
Deciding it was time to speak up, Killian interrupted the stillness. "If you wanted to stare at me, love, you don't have to hide it," he cheekily grinned, breaking their awkward silence as he smirked at her, moving his body closer to hers. "I'm quite used to it actually."
"What part of 'no talking' did you not understand?" she snapped, continuing to stare out the window, obviously embarrassed that she had gotten caught, aptly avoiding his gaze.
"All I'm saying, Swan, is that there's no need to be embarrassed. I don't blame you at all for wanting to look at me," he smoothly replied as he placed his hand softly on her knee, rubbing his thumb in quick circles, which she quickly swatted away, earning him an icy glare.
For a half a second, she imagined him doing those quick circles somewhere else, somewhere more pleasurable; his fingers going faster and faster as he slammed into her from above until she finally reached that golden peak. Internally cursing herself, she pushed the thoughts away, although her body hummed in desire, face flush. It made her hate him even more – this effect he had on her. "Do you ever shut up?"
Killian chuckled softly, moving his gaze back out towards the window as he held his arms tight against his chest. Complying with her arguments, Killian decided it best to keep his mouth shut. Sure, he loved more than anything to egg her on, seeing how far he could push her. But with her irritated mood and the fact that it had been a long day at work, he knew it was in his best interest to keep quiet for the remainder of the ride. After all, he did value his life.
After riding for a few more blocks, the New York traffic being complete chaos at this time of night, he sighed and glanced down once again at his watch. He was running late and he absolutely hated to keep his princess waiting. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her carefully watching him once again.
"Seems as if you're in a hurry too," Emma broke the silence, nodding down to his watch.
"Excuse me?"
"You've looked at your watch five times in the last fifteen minutes," she clarified, finally turning her body towards his in the smaller than average taxicab. When he didn't immediately answer, she raised an eyebrow in question.
Smirking, his eyes finally met hers, blue and green swirling together in an unmistakable electric energy, always pulling them towards each other, even though their minds protested. One step forwards, two steps back.
"Watching me closely, huh, Swan?"
Emma groaned, running a hand through her blonde curls, only to press the heel of her hand into her eyes until she started seeing black spots. "Oh my God, can you even carry on a normal conversation?!"
Killian chuckled to himself, smirking because she was so easy to get riled up. Ducking his head, he replied. "If you must know, yes I am.
She nodded her head, pressing her lips together in a thin line as she turned her attention to the falling snow outside, the cab moving too slowly down the road. "Got a hot date, huh?" Emma replied, her eyes never leaving the dancing flurries, her unforgiving smirk letting him know that she was finally teasing him back.
Turning his attention to his boss, he curtly countered, "Jealous, are we?" And surprisingly, when she didn't respond – a mere eye roll showing that she was beyond fed up with his games – he added, "And it's not exactly a date, per se. Just…plans," he quietly added in a confused tone, not quiet sure how to label their relationship yet.
Emma nodded, as if she completely understood the situation he was in. Which, unbeknownst to him, she did. "I see."
"And what about you, Swan?" he pressed, his eyes darting to her. "You said you were in a hurry as well. Who's the poor guy?"
Emma scoffed in disbelief. What was this guy's problem? One second he could be sincere, open, and honest and then next he was cocky and teasing. No wonder she hated him so much. "None of your business, Jones."
Killian's face fell, noting that he had obviously upset her more than normal, hitting a sore subject. Biting his bottom lip, he turned his face towards hers, noticing her sullen face as she gazed outside. "I'm sorry, Swan. I didn't mean to pry."
"Forget it," she briskly responded, pulling her arms tighter around her body.
"Emma," Killian breathed out, inching closer to her, and laying a hand on her bare shoulder. He brushed his thumb over her freckles, taking a blonde curl between his fingers and tugging on it gently. His thigh rubbed against hers and he felt Emma stiffen in response. "All I'm saying is that he's a lucky guy to have you."
Letting out a shaky breath, and even though her brain screamed not to, Emma turned her head towards his, not realizing how close he actually was. Noses bumped awkwardly and Emma let out a sharp gasp at the physical contact. It was too intimate. Too personal. And too much for someone that she so desperately hated.
Although her gut told her not to, Emma lifted her emerald eyes to his – brilliant blue already staring back at her. They shined with an intensity that she had never seen before. His eyes dipped down to her lips and then back up to meet her eyes, his tongue darting out quickly wetting his lips in anticipation of the unknown. She saw his eyes slowly flutter shut, his mouth skimming against hers without actually making contact. Letting herself fall for only a moment, she touched her forehead to his, sparks igniting from the contact. When she realized that she had fallen into another one of his traps, her eyes flashed outside as the vehicle rolled to a halt, her walls slamming back up.
"This is my stop," she quickly breathed out against his lips before hurriedly opening the door and walking into the brisk air, her steady heart beating in her ears.
"Emma," Killian urgently called, face fallen in frustration, his arm reaching out for her as she slammed the car door in his face, leaving him alone in the backseat.
Slamming the door behind her, Emma slumped against the wall, allowing her head to rest on it with a loud thump. What the hell was that? She always knew there was unresolved sexual tension between her and Killian, but she had never expected him to actually attempt something like that. Vividly remembering what had happened not moments ago, she remembered his face - that discouraged expression etched in her mind. Almost…disappointment, perhaps? Those blue, blue eyes almost becoming bluer at the image of her walking away from him.
She hated him. She hated him so much.
Emma pushed the thoughts as far from her mind as she possibly could. She couldn't deal with this; not tonight. Her gut twisted and turned, instinctually telling her that tonight was different. Getting home from work was always first on her thoughts, running away as quickly as possible to get back to him – her pirate. Her safe haven, her hope, her home. Talking to him felt safe and warm, like being wrapped up in your favorite blanket on the coldest night.
Killian Jones wasn't worth her thoughts.
Her heels clicking almost mechanically against the cold, hardwood floor, Emma quietly making her way to her bedroom, silently passing Ruby's room, thumping loud music emanating from the interior. Emma rolled her eyes, to herself of course, at her best friend. She had the night off from work, so it's highly likely that Victor was with her, doing god knows what in there.
Feeling her heart beating loudly in her ears, throbbing, her legs almost melting to the floor like jello, she put her hand on her bedroom doorknob. Placing her forehead against the wood of the door, she breathed in through her nose and out through the mouth several times, calming her nerves.
They had been talking for over a month now, her feelings growing stronger every day for someone she had never even met. And Emma assumed that he would say the same thing. How long could it go on like this? Comfortably talking to each other – in the cyber world, mind you - for a few hours a day. No touch. No contact. No intimacy.
It's not like she cared an ounce about Killian, but what if something had happened tonight? What if she had given in for just a moment to the lust and hate that had wrapped around them tightly since the moment they first met? What would she tell her pirate? As much as she was comfortable with the way things were between them, Emma knew that they had finally reached that point. A step needed to be taken, something had to be done before anything happened that either of them would eternally regret.
Gaining courage, she pushed her door open, her heart falling slightly at the blank computer screen glowing back at her. When she made it to her laptop, Emma ran her fingers over the keys, silently praying that he had not given up on her. This was so unusual. Usually there was always a message – or several – waiting for her once she got home.
But this time, nothing.
It's no big deal, Emma thought to herself, trying her best to be optimistic. Maybe he's just running late. There's no need to worry.
Deciding it best to get her mind off the subject for a little bit, Emma made her way to the kitchen to make her routine cup of hot chocolate, dashing a bit of cinnamon on top for added flavor. It was her favorite, her go-to cup of comfort.
Sitting down in the window seat, she pulled her knees up against her chest, her hands carefully wrapped around the mug of steaming liquid. She blew on the steaming drink, cautiously flicking her tongue out to taste and see if it was too hot to drink. Giving a long content sigh, she settled her back against part of the bay window, looking down into the street below. She smiled at the families that walked by, the children (who should have definitely been in the bed by this hour) playfully throwing snowballs at each other.
Her heart faltered as a couple walked by; wrapped up in each other, huddled close for warmth, their hands intertwined as they walked down the icy path. She watched them laugh together, him obviously teasing her, before he placed a gently peck on her lips.
Emma burned all over. She itched for that. To feel his hand strongly holding on to hers; her wrapped up in him completely. To actually see the love and adoration in his eyes instead of through his flowery words.
Ding!
The sound of an incoming message from her laptop pulled her out of her thoughts as it echoed through the silent apartment, bounced off the walls, and reverberated into her steadily beating core. Her heart squeezed tightly in her ribcage. Controlling her excitement, Emma took the time to finish her hot chocolate in peace; he made her wait, now it was his turn. Sometimes playing hard to get actually turned out fun.
After slipping her empty mug into the sink, Emma's feet softly padded to her bedroom as she slunk down in her chair, the screen blinking as rapidly as her heart was beating inside her chest. She wrung her hands together and mustered the courage to finally face him.
pirate300: Sorry to keep you waiting, m'lady. Traffic was a nightmare and the same could almost be said for my day. But enough about me. How are you doing tonight, my princess?
princess28: Much better now that I'm talking to you :) Why was your day so awful?
pirate300: Well, work was a little bit better than normal, I suppose. But after work was another story…
princess28: Oh?
pirate300: Yeah…
Emma got an uneasy feeling at his vagueness. Usually her pirate was always open and honest. But the dots worried her; there was definitely more to his story. Something was up. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
princess28: Want to talk about it?
pirate300: Um…Well, I'm not too proud of it really.
Her stomach flopped uncomfortably. She could almost imagine him scratching his neck awkwardly, his fingers rubbing behind his ear as a faint red blush crept up his necks into his cheeks. This wasn't how this was supposed to go tonight.
princess28: You know you can tell me anything, pirate. Open and honest, remember? :)
Emma could feel his hesitance as he didn't type back immediately as he normally would. It felt as if her heart was going to beat right out of her chest, the room seemingly becoming smaller in anticipation.
pirate300: I almost kissed another woman tonight…
Emma felt an inch tall. Jealousy surged through her bones, her fists balled up against her thighs, blood pulsing rapidly within. Sure they both had feelings for each other – well, she was at least certain her for him – but they had no label. She had no restrictions on him; he had every right to do what he pleased in his life. And then she remembered that she had almost committed the same sin tonight. Yes, she definitely had no right to tell him what to do.
princess28: Oh. I see. Did you want to? I mean…what stopped you?
pirate300: Honestly? You. Princess, I just don't know if I can do this anymore.
Here it was. Emma had felt it coming, quite honestly. From the very start this conversation held ominous warnings. On the inside, she felt like she was drowning, overcome with feelings that needed to burst out. A small tear escaped as her emotions bubbled over, finding an escape, welling against her emerald eyes.
princess28: Okay…well. Um…it was nice getting to know you I guess…
pirate300: NO! No, that's not what I meant at all. I don't want this to end, my love. Not if I have any say in it at least.
princess28: Oh? Well then what exactly did you mean, pirate?
pirate300: I need to meet you. You know that this is the only way we are going to work out. My dear, there is no way for a cyber relationship to continue unless there is some physicality to it. I need to see you. Speak to you. Feel you. So, what do you say? Dinner tomorrow night?
This was it; the moment she had dreaded since first falling for him. They had both kept putting it off for so long that it just felt comfortable to continue as they were. They were content in that state, chatting online daily, and she knew they would be until something happened, and tonight was that something. There was no getting around it or putting it off this time. She had to answer.
Biting her fingernail, chewing at it almost mechanically as she rattled her brain for the answer to her problems, Emma knew that she wouldn't be able to make this decision alone. Springing up from her chair in haste, Emma bounded to Ruby's room, careful to look down at the doorknob for a rubber band before entering (she had once walked in on her and Victor; needless to say, Emma had been scarred for awhile after that).
"Ruby?" Emma whispered into the darkness as she peeked her head through the door. She saw Ruby's calm form sprawled out on the bed, long legs twisted around the covers. Leaning over, Emma gently shook her friend awake. "Ruby!"
Ruby groaned as she turned over, slinging an arm across her eyes. "Emma," she whined, pulling herself up slightly, rubbing at her eyes furiously before squinting her eyes to glance at her glowing clock. "It's three in the morning. Someone better be dying."
Emma flopped down on the bed unceremoniously, allowing her head to fall on one of Ruby's many pillows, burying her face deep down into the cloud-like form. "I don't know what to do," she gave a muffled moaned into the pillow.
"Is this about pirate boy?" Ruby questioned, raising one of her beautiful eyebrows high against her forehead. Emma nodded without looking back. "Let me guess, he finally wants to meet?"
Another nod.
"So what's the problem then?"
Emma moaned once again into the pillow before sitting up rapidly, the blood quickly flooding to her head, making her dizzy and lightheaded. "He almost kissed another woman tonight."
Ruby shrugged her shoulders as if it was no big deal. "All the more reason to meet him."
"Ruby…"
"I'm serious, Emma. This is a sign. It's time to finally suck it up and make a decision. Either meet him and possibly live happily ever after or let him go and never know about the amazing person that you've missed out on. Don't let those walls of yours keep love out. I know you're scared, but take a leap of faith. The outcome might just surprise you."
Emma sighed. Ruby was right (of course she was). "Thanks Ruby," Emma whispered into the dark as she got up from the bed, closed the door behind her, and walked back to her room, almost in a zombie-like state.
Her emotions flurried around her, yes-or-no, yes-or-no, as she sat back down at the computer. Emma noticed that he had sent the message several more times, probably assuming that he had scared her off once and for all.
pirate300: Princess? You still there?
pirate300: Dinner?
pirate300: Yes or no?
Glancing down at the keyboard, Emma lifted her shaky hands. Two short little words to choose from; both of which would have a huge impact on her life. She weighed the options once more before jabbing her fingers at three short keys.
princess28: Yes
