Note: Sorry for not updating in forever... no one probably even reads this any more... but I decided to randomly continue. So, if you do happen to stumble across this... enjoy!
Chapter 3 – The Start of the Beginning
Princess Peach stared out of her bedroom window. "Oh, rain on the day of the competition… that's not good. I'm gonna get my dress all wet." She then walked over to her closet and opened it as she smiled. "No need to worry… I have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6…"
Meanwhile as Peach was counting her dresses all of the baddies, except Bowser, Baby Bowser, and Bowser's own league of followers, held a meeting that morning to have a head count of who would be at the competition.
Bullet Bill, head of the gathering, cleared his throat before he began to speak. "If I may have your attention…"
All of the bad guys quickly shut up, they may be villains but that doesn't mean they don't have manners.
"Thank you. As you all know, today is the auditions for the new game show, "What Would You Do?". I have a general list here to get an idea of how many people, well, our kind of people, well; our kind of things… will be attending. Once you hear your name please raise your hand and be accounted for. Also, a polite here or present would be greatly appreciated."
An ignorant pokey then stood up and said, "I ain't bring no present."
Bullet Bill rolled his eyes as a few of the other attendees laughed at the poor pokey's stupidity. "No, no, just say here if… you're here." The pokey then nodded and looked around confused, not sure of what everyone was laughing at.
"Alright let me get to the list. If you hear your general species you may raise your hand… if you are more important you will be called upon separately. Alright in no particular order. Doopliss? Shadow Queen? Grubba? Cortez? Valentina & Dodo? Belome? Cackletta?..."
The list continued with most of the names called, present, and eventually came to a close. "…Goombas? Dry bones? Monty moles? Whomps, thomps, and chain chomps? Ukikis? Pokeys? And last and most definitely least, Amazee Dayzees? (No response) Let me try that again, Amazee Dayzees?" (Still no response) Bullet Bill looked to the back of the auditorium and found one Amazee Dayzee continually ramming itself into the wall while repeating its name over and over. "Ah… there you are, unfortunately."
The Paper Mario baddie could hardly be called a "bad guy" due to its cute appearance, looking just like its name, but it was one none the less and was invited to the meeting. The rest of the Amazee Dayzees had either slept in, didn't know how to read, were ramming themselves into walls, or just plain too retarded to find their way to the gathering. The one Amazee Dayzee in attendance came by pure accident… she followed a goomba who she thought was a mushroom.
"Now, we all know what we must do… we must win the competition so Mario or any of those other goody goods won't!" Then all of the baddies jumped up and gave a cheer.
Let's check back in on Princess Peach.
"127, 128, 129, 130, 131…"
On second thought, let's wait a while. As Peach continued to count her dresses, our hero in overalls was just waking.
Mario slowly opened his eyes with a groggy yawn. Luigi had awakened him with his Madonna Toad music blaring from the stereo.
Cause we are living in a material kingdom and I am a material toad…
Mario quickly got up and turned it off.
"Ow, ow, Material! Liv-ing in a mat-er-ial…Heeeeey what happened to my music?" Luigi shouted from the shower. He kept on singing even after the song had stopped before he realized it was turned off and Mario thought it was hilarious and had fallen to the floor laughing. 'What a way to start the day' He thought. Luigi wasn't the best singer in the world and... we all have our own "Shower voices".
"Because Madonna sucks." Mario said after he stopped laughing.
"Whatever." Luigi simply replied as he turned off the shower and got out.
"Good you're getting out, I need to get in." Mario glanced at the clock that read 8:47AM, he, Luigi, and everyone else in the Mushroom Kingdom had about 1 hour to get to the competition. Speaking of everyone in Mushroom Kingdom, shall we check back in with our beloved Princess?
"575, 576, 577, 578…"
Wow, she has a whole lot of dresses. Luckily, so we can continue with the story, her father entered the room.
"Peachie Poo, are you up?"
She frowned as she looked over to her father. "Yes, daddy, I'm up… look what you made me do, I lost count now I have start all over!"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Everyone in Mushroom Kingdom jumped and wondered what the giant voice was they just heard.
"Whoa, what was that?" Peach asked her father.
He shrugged. "Beats me! Are you getting ready for the game show?"
She watched as he came over and sat on her bed. "I can't decide what to wear."
"Pshhh, please, you wear the same thing all the time. How hard could it be?" Toadstool frustratingly muttered under his breath.
Peach looked over to her father. "Did you say something?"
"Who, me? Nope, I didn't say anything, nothing, nothing at all." He stood as he finished. "Well, make it snappy, dear. We don't want to keep everyone waiting."
"Yes father, I'll be right down… right after I finish counting my dresses."
I SAID NO, HOE!
Toadstool looked up to the ceiling as if it had been the one to speak. "Did someone just call you a hoe?...Nah, couldn't be." He shook his head and left the room.
I suppose we shall leave Princess Peach to her shower and dressings before she forces me to kill her off by a tragic death from her own damn dresses! Ahhhh, I'm glad I got that off my chest... oh, right, the story...
Far across on the outskirts of Mushroom Kingdom, Bowser was peacefully snoozing. That is until his alarm clock went off.
"No! What are you doing? Leave me alone! Mario, Mario, help meeeeeeeee!..(The alarm suddenly goes fuzzy and then after a few seconds comes back on)...Hey, don't put your hand there! That's a no-no."
Bowser reached over and turned off his Peach clock that he had custom made. "Ah, I love the sound of distress in the morning. Especially when it's my little Peach, hm, that recording seems just like yesterday when I stole her and all night we made sweet sweet cookies! She is such a great cook." The alarm suddenly came back on.
"I don't even let Mario do that. No, not even one finger, let alone your whole hand. I know it tastes good but it's not ready yet. Bowser, I already told you not to put your fingers in the cookie dough; you haven't even washed your hands yet…" Click. Bowser turned it off for real this time, instead of hitting the snooze button.
"Might as well make her work while she's here." Then there was a knock at the door.
"I swear, if you're anyone but Kammy Koopa the security camera has already gotten a picture of your face and you won't have one after I'm through with you."
"Don't worry, sir. It's only me."
Bowser let out a slight laugh. "Oh, alright, come in then." Kammy Koopa entered her master's room and unfortunately for her, Bowser forgot to put on his shell. Kammy's face wrinkled up with disgust and intrigue as she quickly closed her eyes.
"Please, Bowser, I particularly don't wanna see that thing. One time was plenty for me."
Bowser slowly got up and put on his shell. "So sorry I didn't impress you. I didn't do it on purpose, I sleep in the nude."
'Ew, another thing to keep me up at night… that and Paris H. Toad.' She thought as she brushed it aside. "I see the potion I gave you is working."
Bowser looked confused for a moment and then smirked. "No, no… that's just my Viagra."
Kammy's eyes widened as she shook her head. "I meant your muscles are bigger…"
"Oh, that. Yep, now I'll be unstoppable!"
One Hour Later…
The rain luckily had turned to a light drizzle by now as all of the potential winners made their way to Mushroom Kingdom. The traffic on the streets was down to a crawl, and it seemed everyone in the whole Mushroom World was at the palace or at least trying to get in. Everyone wanted the coins as badly as the next person, and everyone had a million excuses why they should win and why they deserve the money more than the next average Toad.
"Oh this is an absolute nightmare…" A toad working registration muttered to herself as she tried to shout through the chaos. "…Please make your way to the registration tables if you haven't already. Do not rush, there is enough spaces for everyone, do not worry."
"Hey, Mario! Yoo-hoo! Mario! Over here!" Mario turned around to see his long time girlfriend Peach with a number on her dress. He gave her a surprised look and walked over.
"Hey baby, I didn't know you were participating in this crazy thing." He gave her a light kiss on the forehead, a sign of undying love and affection, such a sweet gesture. She almost melted from it, Mario knew the slightest ways to make her feel so special.
"Well, I have you to protect me, so I don't need to worry right?" She gave him a playful smile with a slight twinkle in her eye.
Mario nodded. "That's right baby, nothing is gonna happen to you."
"Awww… look at the two love birds! How precious!" Bowser said in a very sarcastic tone as he walked over to them.
"Bowser, why don't you shut the–"
"Follow me, follow me please. Everyone, if I may have your attention, registration has ended and we would like to brief you over today's events."
Bowser growled at them but let it drop since the contest was starting. "You both better watch your back, or I just might attack, put you in a body sack, make up for the princess I lack." He then gave a gang symbol with one hand and gave a high five to Eminem Toad with the other. "Thanks for the hot rappings, my brother."
Peach and Mario simply looked at him as if he were deranged.
"Alright, since there are so many contestants here today we will break you up into groups, only two, I repeat two of the hundred-person group will make it on to the next round. There will be a total of one thousand groups. So, if you do the simple math, after the preliminary round only two-thousand contestants will remain and after following matches, all of the thousands of hopefuls will be weeded down to a mere fifty finalists. We are deciding groups right now, in the mean time, if I may direct your attention to the right, this is the beginning of the course. Now, allow me to explain…"
All of the contestants turned their heads as the worker's unveiled the first challenge and Mario couldn't see even one closed mouth. He too was shocked at the intensity and length of the first course. Everyone thought it would be tough… but they didn't expect this.
