This fanfic is rated T for Teens...

If you want to, you could wait for the Mature version, which comes with:

- Calls to Poké-cide
- Anti-Pokémon Bile
- And Konata Izumi's Audition Tapes for
"Japan's Next Top Otaku"


A Team PikaFlash Fanfic, working on Fanfictions since 2000

In association with Tai Enterprises

A PikaFlash's World: Season 2010 Project

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Konata Izumi, Japanese President & Other Stuff

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Disclaimers: Lucky Star and related characters & series are properties of Kagami Yoshimizu & Lucky Paradise.

Other characters, scenes, songs, ideas and famous speeches belong to their respective owners.

This fanfic is for non-profit entertainment purposes only...


[Opening Sequence]

Konata has an evil grin as a Helicopter lands.

A hot-air balloon crash lands in the President's backyard.

Two MMORPG Characters are in a swordfight.

A sniper fires his rifle.

Konata is cheering as she wins a Limited Edition Anime Plushie.

[Starring: Konata Izumi as Konata Izumi]

Among a huge collection of other Limited Edition Anime Plushies Konata had won. The new Plushie is used for spreading the Gospel.

Konata eats a Choco Cornet.

An explosion sends a bunch of bad guys flying.

Kagami has her arms crossed as the automatic doors open.

[With Kagami Hiiragi as Vice President Kagamin]

Konata gives away free Anime Memorabilia to eagerly awaiting fans...

Tsukasa has a blank look on her face.

Konata is holding a Nyamo Plushie.

[Special Guest Star: Nyamo as Nyamo the Lucky Star Mascot]

Konata gives a high-five to an Otaku at an Anime Convention.

A deck of Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards fall to the floor...

[Konata Izumi, J.P. - Series 1]

*

[Episode 3: Kona-Kats]

Konata's Narration: "The KonaNet is broken and I need to fix it. But another huge issue has my attention..."

Konata gets out of a Limo and walked into her office.

Konata: "There's a new Rumor flying saying the writers plan to have Haruhi go on a date with Kyon, so I decided to ask one of their Writers for the juicy details."

*

Konata dials a few random numbers on the phone and waits for an answer.

Writer: "Hello?"

"Hey, I would like to know what's going on with the Haruhi series."

Writer: "What do you mean?"

"Is Haruhi going out on a date with Kyon or is it just a rumor?"

Writer: "I have no idea what you are talking about. I'm just one of the writers for Pokémon."

"Okay, if you say so. By the way, can you put me in a Pokémon episode?"

The writer hung up.

"I will take that as a no."

*

Konata: "Anyway, the KonaNet problems keep getting bigger, so I decided to take some time off by spending time with my pets. Especially my new best cat-friend, Nyamo."

Konata is petting Nyamo, the Lucky Star 'Mascot'.

*

Konata: "After a while, it got boring playing with my pets, so I decided to do some shopping at an Anime Convention to help me think about the KonaNet."

Konata is sitting on a bench at an Anime Convention after doing a lot of shopping.

'It feels like my brain is fried. What is wrong with the KonaNet? Was it rats in the wires? Did I leave some cheese in the Mainframe? Or did Nyamo sabotage the KonaNet under Vegetable's orders so that he can become President? Man, I can't get that nagging feeling out of my head...'

*

[Konata's Head]

Vegeta appears out of the darkness. "Nyamo is now mine!" Vegeta disappears.

Nyamo appears. "Nya..." Nyamo disappears.

Vegeta reappears. "And we're doing it together!" Vegeta re-disappeared.

Nyamo reappears. "Nya..." Nyamo re-disappeared.

Kagami suddenly flies in dressed as a Miko (Shrine Maiden). "Wheee... I am Kagamin!" Kagami noticed her current location. "Wait a minute. What am I doing here?"

(Yep, that's how bad her concentration is right now.)

*

Konata returns to reality with a huge cat-like grin. "Yep, I can't get Kagamin cosplaying out of my head."

Konata's Narration continues.

Konata: "Anyway, the only option for me is to kill Nyamo by poisoning his food."

Nyamo is eating its food from the bowl, only to die from the poison.

*

Konata: "It turns out Nyamo wasn't responsible for ruining the KonaNet."

Konata and Kagami are in the meeting room.

Kagami apologizes. "Yeah, I accidently pulled the plug when I walked out of the room, Konata. I'm sorry about that. Is there anyway for you to forgive me?"

It didn't take long for Konata to come up with a punishment for Kagami. "Well, your first punishment is for you to do is some Cosplaying for me."

Kagami's face went pale. 'I knew it.'

A few minutes later, Kagami is modeling in Sakura Kinomoto's Winter School Uniform from Card Captor Sakura as Konata clapped.

'Konata will never let me forget about this for the rest of my life!'

*

Konata: "After indulging myself by watching Kagamin's Cosplay Fashion Show, I found out that Nyamo came back to life, as a Zombie. So, I had to tell the world..."

Konata is at a press conference, with Kagami in the background, this time cosplaying as Sakura Haruno from Naruto Shippuden.

(Kagami: 'This is the most humiliating punishment I've ever had.')

"My cat-friend is a Zombie, so everything's all back to normal!" Konata announced.

A reporter asks a question. "So, how does it feel to have a Zombie Cat, Ms. President?"

"It's Kona-Tastic!"

[End of Episode 3]

[Written, Directed and Produced by Konata Izumi]

[A Blue Ahoge Production]

Konata: "Brains are tasty..."


[Intermission]

"This segment has been brought to you by 'Mario on Ice'."

A group of Plumbers are ice skating.

"Because Nintendo has so much money to burn..."

*

[Digimon TV]

Konata and Kagami are sitting at a desk. Konata makes the introduction.

"Welcome to Digimon TV, a new segment where we look at Television Programs developed in the Digi-World."

Kagami nods. "Yes. We rarely see any programs from the Digi-World, which is a shame because they seem to have a much larger variety than what we have in Japan and we are missing out on a lot of good stuff."

"People say the King of Pop is dead," said Konata. "It's a lie. The King of Pop is very much alive in the Digi-World and performing topical songs on TV."

*

Agumon is singing in a studio.

"I hear about this Swine Flu! So what? To hell with those pigs since we're Digital!"

*

"But the talk shows in the Digi-World aren't just a platform to mouth-off events in the real world," Kagami explains. "They also give voice to some of the Digi-World's most important more marginalized groups."

"Yeah, like the Digimon Tamer Unique Hair Organization," said Konata.

Kagami is confused as she looked at Konata. "The Digimon Tamer Unique Hair Organization? How unique can a Digimon Tamer's hair be?"

*

[The Digimon Tamer Unique Hair Organization]

Mimi Tachikawa (with bright pink hair) is hosting the show. "What do you say about respect, Mr. Yagami?"

Taichi Yagami (with his big bushy hair) answers. "Well, my personality forces people to treat me with respect. But the person I really respect is the CEO of 4Kids, because he humiliated the most despicable Anime Series in the world..."

*

"Yeah, we forgot to mention that another key feature on Digimon TV is that they are not keen on Pokémon," Kagami points out.

"That's a massive understatement," Konata protested. "It's not just the Digimons who aren't keen on Pokémon. It's the Americans who associate with Pokémon. According to some Digimons, all American Products are helping the Pokémon's Unjust Cause..."

*

Professor Veemon is telling everyone his opinion.

"Do you know what the drink 'PEPSI' means? It means 'Pay Every Pokémon Serving in Iraq'. And not just Pepsi. Coca-Cola and all of them are in on it!"

*

"Yep, all American soft drinks are in on the conspiracy. But what does Coca-Cola mean?" asked Kagami.

"I think it means 'Couldn't Obviously Create A Conspiracy Offering Lame Acronym'," Konata answers. "Quite powerful evidence to a conspiracy. But the Digimons aren't just targeting icy cold drinks. They're targeting hot drinks as well."

*

Professor Veemon continues his rant.

"Now Starbucks. In case you don't know, their logo has a Star with a woman in it. Now, I believe the star in the logo represents the evil Pokémon Staryu and the woman is the Staryu's evil overlord, Misty. That is enough reason for us to shut down every single Starbucks in the Digi-World"

*

Both Konata and Kagami nodded in agreement. "We want Starbucks to be shut down too," said Kagami. "But just because they taste like crap!"

"And that's all the time we have in this Chapter for what is going on in Digimon TV," said Konata.

*

Meanwhile in Saitama, Fanfic Reader Konata Izumi angrily closed her Internet Browser after reading this fanfic and opens up her Email program to type up an email...

"Dear PikaFlash,

I wish to complain about you making fun of Digimons and their Tamers. How about making fun of Alchemists instead? No one has ever to humiliate them. What a waste of FFdotNet's bandwidth.

Sincerely,
Konata Izumi
Saitama"

Konata sends the email.

[End Intermission]


[Fanfic Brainstorm]

With the approval from the top dogs of Tai Enterprises, Konata is now in charge of the new project, codenamed 'Team Lucky Star' by an unoriginal boss.

Konata enters her new empty office. "This is awesome. Not only do I get my own project, I get my own office to work in." Konata checks the computer. "Nice. Not only do I get a new office, I got the latest computer available. Let's see what this baby can do..."

After a couple of hours on the computer, Konata noticed the time. "Oh yeah, I forgot about the project."

Konata opens her envelope from the Boss. "Oh, it says that I'm allowed to hire 3 Part-Timers for the first month and after that, I can hire an additional Part-Timer every two months. I think I know who to hire first."

Konata picked up her phone...

*

At the Hiiragi Residence, Tsukasa is watching a cooking show on TV. Somehow, the TV Chef bears some resemblance, but she can't quite put her finger on it...

Brock: "Welcome to my new Cooking Show. My name is Brock Blockhead. Today, I'm going to show you my favorite classic recipe. First, I start off with the olive oil."

Brock picks up a bottle of olive oil but spilt some of the oil on the floor.

Brock: "Oops, better clean that up."

Before Brock could clean up the mess, he slips on the olive oil and landed on his back. Brock slowly picked himself off the floor.

Brock: "Man, who would have thought that olive oil was slippery? I never saw that one coming!"

The house phone is ringing, so Tsukasa decides to answer the call. "Hello, Hiiragi Residence."

Konata: "Hey, Tsukasa. Would you like to make some extra cash for your pocket?"

Tsukasa smiled. "I guess it wouldn't hurt to get some extra money. What do I have to do?"

Back on TV, the TV Chef is now standing in front of an oven.

Brock: "For this recipe, I had switched on the oven earlier and have left the gas on to prepare for the meal.

Brock opens the oven.

Brock: "And now I light a match."

Brock lights a match, followed by an explosion. As the smoke clears, Brock was all burnt up.

Brock: "Wow, I didn't know that the gas was flammable! That is so cool!"

*

Kagami is walking down a street when she received a call on her cellphone.

"Hey, Konata."

Konata: "Kagamin, how would you like to make some extra money?"

"If its Anime or Cosplay related, the money better be good."

Konata: "I put in charge of a project by Tai and I need some helping hands."

"Wait? Tai as in Taichi Yagami from Digimon? I heard rumors that he became an Egotistical Bastard after Digimon 02 ended."

Konata: "Oh, he's actually a nice guy. He's awesome at Video Games but you should have seen his face when we were playing a 4-player match Free-For-All when the three of us ganged up on him..."

"Sorry to interrupt you, Konata. About your offer?"

Konata: "Right. So, do you want to help me out on my project? Or do you want to meet Tai face-to-face if you accept my offer?"

"What gave you that idea? So, who else is in on the project?"

Konata: "Tsukasa and Miyuki have said yes, but Miyuki's currently out of the country, so it's going to be just you and Tsukasa for now. You still interested in my offer?"

Kagami gave it a bit of thought. 'I'm suppose it would be nice to be working in the same place as Miyuki and Tsukasa. But I have the feeling that Konata will make me Cosplay at the first chance she gets.'

Konata: "Last chance, Kagamin..."

Kagami answered. "The money better be worth it, Konata."

[End Fanfic Brainstorm]


[What have we learnt from Anime, Konata-Sensei?]

Konata is standing in front of a blackboard.

"I love watching Anime," said Konata. "But what makes things very interesting is what if these plots ever happen in real life? For example, remember how Amestris invaded Ishbal in 'Hagane no Rekinjusushi', or 'Fullmetal Alchemist' to the Americans? The question now: Have the Ishbalans learnt their lesson if the same people who invaded them try to enter an Ishbalan restaurant unannounced? Well, we got a few Cosplayers together to find out..."

*

[Test 1: Cliché Alchemists]

Edward Elric (played by Konata) and his armored brother Alphonse (played by Naruto) walked to the entrance of an Ishbalan restaurant.

"Hello, I am an Alchemist," greeted Konata.

"I can see," said the Ishbalan Maître d'.

"Can I come in?" asked Naruto.

"Certainly."

The Alchemists followed a waitress to their table.

[Entry Granted]

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[Test 2: Dogs of the Military]

Roy Mustang (played by Ash) and Riza Hawkeye (played by Sakura) marched into the Ishbalan restaurant.

"We're here to have a meal," said Ash.

"Certainly," said the Maître d'.

"We are also here to meet our Alchemist friends," said Sakura.

"Of course, please, go inside," said the Maître d'.

[Entry Granted]

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[Test 3: The Führer]

The person responsible for the Ishbalan genocide, the Führer (played by Tai) walked to the entrance of the Ishbalan restaurant.

"I'm here to meet up with some of my subordinates," said Tai.

"How long have you been here?" asked the Maître d'.

"I've been hiding in Japan since 2003," Tai answered.

"Really?"

"Thank you," said Tai. "Herr me."

The Führer entered into the Ishbalan restaurant without any resistance.

[Entry Granted]

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Meanwhile in Saitama, Fanfic Reader Konata Izumi angrily closed her Internet Browser after reading this fanfic and opens up her Email program to type up an email...

"Dear PikaFlash,

I wish to complain about that recent joke you made about Alchemists. You only seem to be making fun of Digimons and Alchemists. I'd bet you are too gutless to go after the Soul Reapers from Bleach. What a waste of FFdotNet's bandwidth.

Sincerely,
Konata Izumi
Saitama"

Konata sends the email.