It had been a week since Dan was released from the hospital. We made the two-hour drive back to Orono and I basically forced him to move in with Sarah, Luna, and I. One of us was almost always home, meaning that we could take care of him until he was able to function on his own again. I remembered the interrogation I received during the car ride and rolled my eyes. He wouldn't admit to it, but he was just as protective over me as I was him.
"Okay, Bella," I smirked, knowing that he would have turned to face me had he not been in a neckbrace. "Spill. That doctor was too comfy with you during the last two days for something not to have happened. Did you make out with him in a closet?"
I nearly spit out my coffee that we had stopped to get at the beginning of the drive, "No!" I resisted the urge to hit him, again. "I didn't kiss him in a fucking closet."
Dan's shit eating grin told me that he didn't believe me one bit. "I kissed him in my bedroom." I laughed as Dan sputtered, and hoped I wasn't going to give him a heart attack after everything else.
"Spill, bitch!" I was, surprisingly, enjoying this.
"Do you remember my ex from Forks?" I started. "The one that -"
"Almost ruined your life completely?" He interrupted me. Right. Not protective in the slightest.
"Yeah, that one." I sighed, "Well he's now a doctor. In Maine."
That brought on a conversation that lasted nearly the entire trip home. I told him about Ryan's visit and how I was glad that Edward saw us together. What I hadn't shared with him, though, was the feelings I had been having since we left the hospital.
I was angry, mostly, that after four years of teaching myself to not think about Edward and his family every moment of the day, I was right back at it. I was angry that I denied myself the opportunity to see Alice and Emmett. And more than anything, I was angry that I could feel my stomach preparing to accommodate the aching hole that accompanied the grief of not having contact with Edward Cullen's stupid ass.
I was alternating between hovering over the hospital's phone number and my therapist's when my phone began to ring. It was an unknown number, but somehow I knew who it was before I swiped to answer the call.
"Hello?" I said, tentatively.
"Bella," I heard the relief in her voice as I picked up her call.
"Alice." I was at a loss for words. More than anything I felt like crying, but that would seem weak. I was not weak Bella Swan anymore. I was a college educated, badass, twenty-two year-old Bella Swan. I chanted this to myself as I waited for her delayed response.
"Bella..." I took in a shaky breath, "I know this is out of the blue, but I just felt like I needed to call and talk to you, I'm sorry if you didn't want this." I shut my eyes tight as I listened to her bell-like voice.
"No, Alice, it's okay," of course she called, why wouldn't I have expected that with all of my emotions about them lately?
"I just wanted to say that I miss you and I'm sorry that I didn't get to see you while you were in town." I knew she wanted to say much more than that.
"I'm sorry, too." I ran a hand through my hair, "I wish I would have seen you as well, but..." I trailed off.
"No, I get it, you don't have to explain." Hearing her speak had a similar effect on me as the calming tea I had become accustomed to drinking at night. Even though I was immensely stressed out by this phone call, I couldn't help but feel myself relax as she talked. "We hurt you. I hurt you. And I'm sorry."
She took my silence as a cue and continued her speech, "I was hoping, though, that you'd be willing to see me someday."
I let out a surprised laugh and rubbed my temple with the hand not attached to my phone, "Alice of course I would want to see you. I was hurt...am hurt." I corrected myself. "But that doesn't mean that I never want to see you again. I never wanted that."
"Oh thank god," she said, releasing a small, joyful giggle.
Her words had me breaking into a smile as well. Alice wasn't my best friend for very long, but she's the only friend in the world that I could tell absolutely everything to, since it was her family's secret. Jake knew nearly everything, but I couldn't bring it up without him calling the Cullens 'leeches' and storming out of the room at some point. I wanted to see her, and soon.
"Forgive me if this is presumptuous, Bella," I was suddenly nervous again. "Ever since we left Forks my family hasn't been the same. In a last ditch effort to keep us close Esme has enforced a 'family night' once a week. I have received permission to invite you. Would you come this week?"
I was shocked to say the least. I didn't know if I would be able to handle something like that. Edward, Alice, and all of the rest of their family in one room? For a whole night? I hadn't had to think about who could hear me pee and smell my breath from across the room since junior year of high school. Did I want to put myself in that position again?
"Alice I couldn't impose." Is what came out of my mouth in sheer panic.
"Bella," I could hear how ridiculous she thought I was. "It wasn't just permission. Everyone was begging me to get you to come. We all miss you." She finished.
They all missed me? I had seen the way Edward looked at me at the hospital, but being attracted to me didn't mean that he wanted me in his life again. He left me for a reason.
I shook my head at myself, already fully aware that I was going to accept. "Okay, if you say so. I'll come." I heard the subsequent squeal come from the other end of the line in a very Alice-like fashion.
We finished the conversation after briefly discussing the details. I was conflicted. I wanted to pretend like the butterflies in my stomach were responding to the idea of seeing Alice and the other members of the Cullen family for the first time in years, but I couldn't deny that a large part of it was seeing Edward again. Normally, I'd like to think that I would have cancelled being that I have a boyfriend. The problem was that I didn't know if these feelings were just unresolved from my eighteen year-old self or if they were legitimate. The only way, it seemed, was to test the theory by putting myself in the exact situation I was afraid of.
