Age 16

Sakura sobbed messily into her pillow. It was rare that she lost a patient. Today, however, was one of those rare occurrences.

It was a strange experience to feel the life disappear from a person. Their chakra flowed to a sluggish stop, and the entire chakra system would slowly shut down. The bodily functions stopped one by one as oxygen no longer flowed. The muscles beginning to stiffen, the cells beginning to die...

Sakura jumped out of the bed and flung herself towards the bathroom, just managing to lean over the toilet before emptying the contents of her stomach. Tears wouldn't stop even as she heaved over the toilet.

She was supposed to get better. Patients had died before. And she had seen so much more die during the war not a week ago.

Lifeless blue eyes flitted across the vision, and she began heaving again.

Was it because the patient that had died was still just a child? Was it because those blue eyes could have belong to Naruto? Ino? Sakura coughed harshly, trembles wracking her frame.

"Ah..." Sakura sniffled, trying to rid herself of the acid that remained in her mouth. "Ha... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have been better. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

Sakura wiped the trail of bile away with her arm, falling back so that she now leaned against the wall.

"I'm so sorry. You deserved to live. Had I paid attention to the... No, I... So young- I'm sorry. I'm..." Sakura curled up into a ball, rocking herself. "I thought I could. I was supposed to be better. I could have done more..."

"Sakura!" The bathroom door burst open and the lights were flung on.

Warm, familiar hands encompassed her arms, shaking her.

"Sakura? What's wrong? You weren't in your bedroom. Hey, come on, look at me. Tell me what's wrong. Are you okay, Sakura?"

The large, gloved hand managed to coax her head up.

Sakura's voice cracked with emotion as she met the man's familiar gaze.

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura croaked. "I..."

"Sakura... You're pale. What's going on? Are you sick? Should I take you to the hospital-?"

"No!" Sakura wrenched free from his grip, curling further in on herself. "Please don't make me go back there. Don't take me back there. I can't go there. Kakashi, please," she begged desperately.

"Tell me what's wrong and I'll think consider it," Kakashi compromised, single eye scanning her.

"No," Sakura groaned. "Go away."

"Ha. I'd sooner die then leave you like this- Hey!"

Sakura had to stumble to the toilet again, sputtering and throwing up whatever remained in her stomach. Why did he have to word it that way? Kakashi swept, and held her hair back with one hand. The other gently rubbed her back in soothing circles as Sakura let out a string of whimpers.

"I... killed him. He was thirteen- There was so much he could have lived for," Sakura finally choked out.

"You... killed somebody?" Kakashi said, slowly. "Did... did you lose a patient, Sakura?"

Sakura gave the barest of nods as she tried to catch her breath.

"I'm the worst," Sakura whispered. "I am truly..."

"Stop," Kakashi said sternly. After a moment of hesitation, he began tugging her up. "Come on, Sakura. Get up. Brush your teeth and wash your face, you'll thank me in the morning."

"What?" Sakura said weakly. Kakashi gave her an exasperated glare as he flushed the toilet.

"Brush. Your. Teeth. I vaguely remember a lecture from some medic how stomach acid would deteriorate the teeth. Also, as much as I love all my students, I also have a very sensitive nose and we are not going to wait for the morning. Sakura, up."

Sakura let herself be pulled up and Kakashi left after giving her a once over. She brushed her teeth, ridding herself of the disgusting taste and then splashed water over her face. She had to clear her nose a couple of times before she could breathe without difficulty. Kakashi returned with an armful of clothes just as she was wiping her face with the towel

"Change," Kakashi said flatly before leaving once again.

Sakura followed his orders in a daze, putting on an over-sized t-shirt and yoga pants. She looked around blankly, not sure what to do next. Kakashi's head poked through the doorway. Seeing as she had finished he grabbed her arm and led her to the bed. Sakura obediently sat down as Kakashi fiddled with something on the nightstand.

"Here," Kakashi held out a glass of water and two blue pills. "You should sleep within moments."

Sakura nodded absentmindedly, swallowing the pills without question. Kakashi plucked the glass out of her hand once she was done and ushered her into bed. He tucked the covers up to her chin, while Sakura stared at him in wonder.

...

Kakashi had returned from a small mission; just teaching a lesson to one of the bandit groups that had attacked the village while they were away at war. Assholes. He had strained a muscle, and it was an annoying ache that spurred him to drop by his old student's apartment (he would avoid the hospital when he could). Kakashi frowned at the lack of traps set up near the window and decided he would lecture her afterwards. He slid open the window and slipped in. The bedroom was empty, and the bed was a complete mess.

"Sakura?" Kakashi called softly. To his knowledge, Sakura was usually finished her shift by now, and he highly doubted she was sent on a mission either. "Sakura," Kakashi said a bit louder. Kakashi's cringed as the scent of bile hit his nose. Spreading his senses, he could feel Sakura's unstable chakra located in the bathroom.

"Sakura!" Kakashi shouted as he threw open the partially closed door. He flipped the lights on, dread growing as he saw Sakura curled up in a corner muttering something under her breath.

"Sakura? What's wrong? You weren't in your bedroom. Hey, come on, look at me. Tell me what's wrong. Are you okay, Sakura?" Kakashi said frantically, shaking the girl. Sakura remained silent, head buried in her arms. Kakashi gently nudged her head until he was able to see her face. Eyes red, tear streaked cheeks, a runny nose. She was a complete mess.

"Kakashi-sensei, I..." Sakura trailed off.

"Sakura... You're extremely pale. What's going on? Are you sick? Should I take you to the hospital-?"

"No!" Sakura screamed, throwing him off. "Please don't make me go back there. I can't go there. Kakashi, please."

Well that was a first. Usually she was the one that had to coax him to go to the hospital. It felt strange now that the roles were reversed.

"Tell me what's wrong and I'll consider it," Kakashi offered, though he fully intended on dragging her there if necessary.

"No. Go away," Sakura said harshly, Kakashi's eye twitched. Stubborn fool. She was insane if she thought he was going to leave her like this.

""Ha. I'd sooner die then leave you like this- Hey!" Kakashi said alarmed as Sakura hunched over the toilet, retching horribly. He held her hair and soothingly rubbed circles on her back. Sakura let out a miserable groan.

"I... killed him. He was thirteen- There was so much he could have lived for," Sakura finally admitted once she had caught her breath.

"You... killed somebody?" Kakashi blinked, wheels spinning in his head. Sakura never killed. She avoided killing. It was seventy percent of the reason why she chose the path of a medic. "Did... did you lose a patient, Sakura?"

Sakura bowed her head.

"I'm the worst," Sakura whispered. "I am truly..."

"Stop," Kakashi said sharply. He could not let her do this to herself. A self-destructive path of self-blame he knew all too well. He pulled at her arm, trying to get her on her feet. "Come on, Sakura. Get up. Brush your teeth and wash your face, you'll thank me in the morning."

"What?" Sakura mumbled, and Kakashi gave her an annoyed glare. He flushed the bile down and pulled more insistently.

"Brush. Your. Teeth. I vaguely remember a lecture from some medic how stomach acid would deteriorate the teeth. Also, as much as I love all my students, I also have a very sensitive nose and we are not going to wait for the morning. Sakura, up."

Sakura managed to stand on shaking legs, and Kakashi left once he was sure she could stand on her own. He had seen a basket of medical supplies on top of the closet, and he searched through it until he found the signature blue sleeping pills for shinobi. He secured a glass of water from the kitchen and set it on the nightstand.

Then, he rummaged through the dresser, looking for a change of clothes. He managed to secure a large t-shirt that looked strangely similar to one Naruto had owned at one point before it had gone missing. He grabbed a pair of yoga pants right next to it. Satisfied with the chosen items, he made his way to the bathroom where Sakura was just finishing up.

"Change," Kakashi said as he dumped the clothes into her arms. She look slightly confused but moved to follow his orders anyway. Kakashi lingered just outside the doorway, worried as he heard her fumbling and bumping into the wall a couple of times.

Once the noises stopped, Kakashi glanced inside. She looked dreadfully small in the t-shirt that swamped her small frame. Kakashi sighed as he grabbed her arm and sat her down on the bed. He grabbed the items he had left on the nightstand, handing it to her.

"Here. You should be asleep within moments."

She nodded still in somewhat of a trance.

Kakashi immediately took the glass away once she was done, sure she was going to drop if he didn't. He managed to get her situated in the bed and tucked her in.

"You know, I feel like a kid again," Sakura muttered sleepily. The pill was already kicking in. "Being tucked in and everything..."

"Mhm," Kakashi said.

"I thought..." Sakura yawned. "I thought I improved."

"You did improve, Sakura. You've grown lots since your genin years," Kakashi reassured her. Sakura frowned, brows furrowing.

"No. I thought I did," Sakura said, words starting to slur. "He was also genin. He coulda lived for a long, long, looong... I couldn't save him. Couldn't save Neji. Couldn't save all anybody..."

Sakura's eyes shut, a single tear escaping before she was out cold. Kakashi leaned back with a sigh.

It wasn't entirely unexpected. Some shinobi suffered from the psychological effects that came with being a shinobi. Kakashi had suffered from it after Rin had jumped into the path of his chidori and it hadn't been until he had made his peace with Obito during the war that he finally felt that burden disappear.

He was not a medic, but he understood what it felt to be responsible for the lives of others. What could he... Kakashi let out a sigh, scratching the back of his head.

Who was he kidding? He sucked at this kind of stuff. Once he had been a teacher, and an utter disaster that was. It seemed the only one that had turned out the better for it was Naruto, and that was because of his infinite charisma and single-mindedness. He would probably have to report this to Tsunade tomorrow. Or maybe tell the blonde friend of hers. Girls usually depended on other girls for emotional support, right?

Kakashi stood to leave, but his wrist was snatched in a firm grip by Sakura, who was supposed to have been asleep.

"Sakura?"

There was no response, and Kakashi was sorely tempted to pry her grip off and leave. He had done what he could. He was about to too when the tiny voice in his head made itself known.

What had Kakashi ever done for her? As a teacher or a friend?

He had trained Sasuke as a genin, seeing a shadow of himself within the boy. Focused his sole attention on the boy's growth. Taught him his signature move.

Then Sasuke had 'betrayed' the village to train under Orochimaru. Though he and a few others were privy to the fact it was an undercover mission to get close and kill Orochimaru, Sakura and Naruto had been kept unaware and had suffered for three years.

And then Naruto had left to train under Jiraiya. Kakashi had thrown himself back into ANBU.

When Naruto had returned, there was the issue of Akatsuki, and Kakashi had put all his efforts into training Naruto. The only reason he had ever had a reason to talk to her was because of Naruto or Sasuke. The interactions he had had with his female student otherwise were far and few in between.

Hell, he thought with a wince, he was pretty sure Sakura was better acquainted with Gai then him if what Gai was ranting about was true.

Kakashi felt immensely guilty at the revelation, knowing nothing he had ever done to help had brought her to where she was now.

At the very least, Kakashi resolved, he could do something this small for her.


Age 12

"Team 7: Haruno Sakura, Uzumaki Naruto, and Uchiha Sasuke."

Sakura winced as she could feel the glare of all the other girls focused on her. Plan to keep a low profile: failed.

"Hey, we're on the same team, Sakura-chan!" Naruto said, giving her a warm smile.

"Yeah, that's great," Sakura replied with a small smile. At least she was put on a team with one of the few she got along with.

Yet why could she not shake this uneasy feeling off of her?

"My first impression of you all is... I hate you."

Their sensei looked like an oddball too.

...

"Now, I'd like you all to tell us a little about yourselves?"

"Like what?" Sakura asked.

"Uh, you know, the usual. Your favorite thing, what you hate most, dreams, ambitions, hobbies, things like that."

"You go first then," Naruto demanded. "Show us how it's done."

"Oh, me? My name is Hatake Kakashi. I don't really feel like talking about my likes and dislikes. My dreams for the future are none of your business. I do have a lot of hobbies..."

They waited a few brief seconds before realizing he wasn't going to continue.

"So all we learned was his name," Sakura said, frowning. She observed the man closely. He was nothing she had expected from a jonin leader. Late, lazy, slouched, and very uninterested.

"Your turn," Kakashi said, leaning back against the railing. "Start from the right."

"That's me!" Naruto said brightly. "The name's Uzumaki Naruto. What I like is instant cup ramen, what I like even better is when Iruka-sensei treats me to ramen at Ichiraku. I also like when Sakura-chan shares her bento with me. What I hate is the three minute wait after I pour in the boiling water."

Kakashi looked highly unimpressed so far.

"My dream is to be the greatest Hokage and get the villagers to acknowledge my existence once and for all!"

Sakura observed something flicker in Kakashi's eyes before it was quickly hidden.

"My hobbies are pranks and practical jokes, I guess," Naruto finished.

"Next," Kakashi called.

"My name's Uchiha Sasuke. There are many things I dislike, and a few things I like. My dream is to become a shinobi that surpasses my brother... and obtain my father's respect," Sasuke added almost hesitantly. My hobbies are training."

"Fascinating," Kakashi intoned dryly. "And finally, the young lady."

Sakura froze as she met his gaze.

"Uh," Sakura shifted nervously as all eyes were suddenly on her. "I'm Haruno Sakura. I like my friends and family. I dislike..." Sakura trailed off. It wasn't a subject she had ever put much thought into. "Suffering. I dislike seeing others suffer and the more powerful bullying the weak. My dream is... is to be able to protect those who can't protect themselves, I guess. And I don't really have any hobbies."

"Well, it seems everybody has gotten a feel of each other today," Kakashi said, straightening up. "Formal training begins tomorrow."

"Alright!" Naruto cheered. "What will our first real mission be?"

"Survival training."


Age 18

"...Itachi-san," Sakura said, eyes flickering to him.

"Sakura-san," Itachi replied pleasantly.

"...Why?" Sakura asked softly. "Why would you do that? Is this because we happened to speak yesterday at the festival?"

Itachi cocked his head.

"Perhaps that may have influenced my decision," Itachi said noncommittally. He nodded his head in the direction the man had left. "That was kind of you."

"Don't change the subject," Sakura frowned.

"Very well," Itachi chuckled.

"One conversation with someone you barely know is hardly a reason to go on such a dangerous mission," Sakura pressed.

True. But she intrigued him in a way only Shisui had done before. Something he didn't quite understand himself. He also greatly admired her actions, more so after he learned some of her motivations for doing so.

"Maybe it's because I want to get to know you better," Itachi replied easily.

He wasn't sure why Sakura gaped openly at him, with what might have been a tinge of pink on his face.

"Hah?! Y-you... how can you say that with a straight face?"

"What are you talking about?" Itachi asked, confused to as why she was at a loss of words.

She stared at him, mouth opening and closing without a sound, before she took a couple of deep breaths, holding a hand to her chest.

"Did you know, Itachi-san, had you said that to any other female, they'd have swooned and probably would have fell heads over heel in love with you? You even had my heart skipping a beat for a second there."

"I do not understand," Itachi said, still befuddled by her reaction.

Sakura paused before giggling. To his utter shock, she stood on her tip toes and patted him on the head.

"You know, you kind of remind me of Sai. You're both so clueless and adorable," Sakura cooed.

"A-adorable?" Itachi stuttered.

"When Shisui once mentioned you were an unmatched lady-killer, I didn't know what he thought he was talking about, but I think I finally understand what he meant now. Ah, that was dangerous..." Sakura said with a large sigh of relief.

What.

"Wait, what- Lady-killer-?" Itachi's head was reeling. No, no, no. What was his cousin spreading around?

"Well, it looks like you have people coming your way so I'll make myself scarce. See you tomorrow, Itachi-san! I'm sure we'll get to know each much better over the mission!" Sakura said, with a short laugh. With a wave of her hand, she swiftly disappeared over the rooftops.

"Wait..." Itachi trailed off, hand hovering in the air.

"Itachi! You little bastard!"
"Nii-san!"

Itachi sighed as his cousin and brother appeared in front of him with varying degrees of emotion.

"You've got a lot of explaining to do, mister," Shisui said with a scowl. "Fess up. What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Must I explain myself to you?"

"Of course! I'm your best friend you little twit- hold up. Are you pouting right now?"

"I... I'm not a lady-killer."


AN: I swear I meant to release this earlier. Anyway, Happy (late)New Years everybody! Just as a quick note, Itachi is usually portrayed as stoic in most stories I've read, but this is how I see him had he not gone into Akatsuki.