Still smiling, she took a few more passes over the screen with the stylus and then handed the device back to Spock.

"There! I over-wrote the dummy-post," she said. "Now, if you'll just leave a comment saying how funny and to-the-point it is, we can get back to 'relaxing.'"

Spock's eyes were no longer sparkling as he gazed back at her.

"I cannot do that, beloved," he said.

"Why not?" she asked. Cautious concern widened her eyes and softened her voice.

"I am no longer a member of the Tara_Patrick community," he admitted. "Since I no longer 'ship the couple, I felt it would be disingenuous to maintain my membership."

"What! Since when?" she asked, snatching the PADD back. The curative effect of 'relaxing' with Spock had its limits.

If it was possible for a Vulcan — or even a half-Vulcan — to appear sheepish, Spock did so.

"Since the last season's holos were released," he replied. "When you introduced me to fanfiction, you described it as 'an opportunity to join together couples the official writers would never dream of pairing.' I found that the concept appealed to my human-like inclination towards rebellion. Now that Tara/Patrick is canon, I find supporting the pairing no longer attracts my interest."

Feeling somewhat betrayed, Uhura could only stare at him for a long moment.

"But, you started writing a new Star-Gazette fanfic just yesterday," she mumbled eventually.

Spock inclined his head in acknowledgement. "Indeed, I did" he agreed. "But I originally intended not to include any 'ships in the fic at all."

"'Originally?'" she parroted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Yes," he told her, not realizing just how dangerous the ground he trod was becoming. The corner of his mouth tipping up again. "I have since developed a new 'ship and intend to work it into the story."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. Would you like to know which characters the pairing consists of?"

Her lips curved into a slow smile. "Tell me."

"Tara and the Sexy-Ex-Sports-Editor," he said, just a touch triumphantly.

Uhura stood without ever dropping the smile from her face.

"I'm going down to the pool," she told him as she stalked over to the bureau and selected a swimsuit. "Why don't you spend the afternoon 'relaxing' with your hand?"

.

.

The pool house locker room was steaming and hot, much like the hotel room she shared with Spock had been just a couple of hours before. Uhura forced all recollection of entangled limbs and searing Vulcan lips out of her mind. She needed to think and memories of the S'chn T'gai Relaxation Method wouldn't be much help.

Her pre-swim shower was cool enough to banish any lingering images and sensations without being so cold that she was left shivering in her bikini.

Barely noticing her surrounding, she moved from the locker room to the pool and dived into the warm water.

Three laps later, she was tempted to head back to Spock's side, but forced herself to continue swimming. After six, she wasn't sure why she'd left their bed.

She pulled herself out of the pool and slapped over to the locker room again.

A familiar face caught her eye, and she hurried over to her friend and assistant.

It didn't take long to learn that Jacqui Hottar had not visited the community since her post had been removed.

"But that's only because we're on shore leave, Enni. Not all of us have a hot Vulcan sex god making our hotel rooms way more interesting than the site-seeing around here," she told Uhura.

Nor did she feel the need to address the deletion, Hottar assured her boss.

"Instead of getting steamed and pissed off with an imaginary person I'll never meet, I going to start my own fic community or find a new one- one that fosters all topics of conversation," she said. "Really, Enni, you need to relax."

Uhura found her cheeks — and other parts — heating up upon being told to "relax," but she was secure in the knowledge that the yeoman couldn't know of the special meaning she and Spock had given the word, and so Hottar would most likely just assume her superior officer was embarrassed about having tempting the gods of wank.

Embarrassment Uhura could deal with.

"Good advice, Jacqui," she grumbled. "I'll try to keep that in mind."

The yeoman stared at her for a long time, her face growing more concerned by the second.

"Lieutenant," she began, biting her lip, "if there's something more to this — something I can help you with, sir — I'm at your disposal."

Hearing her assistant revert to the formality she's worked nine long months to quell ("No, really. You can call me Nyota when we're off-duty. In fact, I'd prefer it!"), stiffened Uhura's back.

"Shut up, Jacqui," she said with a good-natured grin.

Adjusting her towel she watched Hottar nervously twist and then straighten her own immaculate swimsuit. She shook her head; maybe the yeoman should consider taking her own advice.

"Actually," she continued, "this isn't not about the comm. It's something worse: Spock 'ships Tara and the Sexy-Ex-Sports-Editor."

Hottar's eyes grew wide and her jaw fell open. A strangled noise left her throat. It occurred to Uhura that her friend might be having trouble breathing.

"Jacq! Jacq, are you okay?" she asked, rushing forward and grasping Hottar's shoulders.

"Oh, he-e-ellllll no!" exclaimed the yeoman. "No way, Nyota. No way your pointy-eared sex god is shipping Tara and the S. Ex-S. E! I mean he's sex on two legs and all, but nobody 'ships him with Tara — not unless that someone wants to take his sizzling Vulcan ass and sleep on the floor tonight. Everybody knows she and Patrick were made for each other!"

Uhura didn't try to hold back her laugh, or to ignore the irony.

"It's just a 'ship, Yeoman," she mocked. "Seriously, Jacqui, you really need to relax."

Hottar's look of shock last exactly three seconds before she flung her arms around Uhura and both women shook with shared laughter.

By the time they came up for air, they'd turned more than a few heads in the locker room.

"Ready for a few more laps?" Hottar wanted to know.

Smiling, Uhura nodded her head.

As the two headed back towards the pool, she said, "So, I was thinking about chapter 2..."


A/N: Just having a little more fun with protest fic 'cause (guess what?) shippers are also human, and sometimes they get a little out of control.

Disclaimer: I don't own Uhura or Spock or anything Trek related and I'm not really trying to start wank.