Alice cracked opened her eyes and breathed deeply, as though waking up from a dream. She couldn't tell how much time had passed. Minutes? Hours? Was she even still at the club? She felt her hips moving, but couldn't hear any music. She noticed her arms were wrapped around a warm, soft body, her fingertips idly brushing against a satiny smooth spot on the small of someone's back. She became acutely aware that another pair of legs was intertwined with her own. Opening her eyes a little wider, she saw Liara's face before her and gasped aloud. Her back stiffened and her eyes went wide in shock. The universe quickly snapped back into place; the thumping music, the dim lights, the pulsating crowd, the club. The club! They were still in the club. Alice gave a quick glance down to check that she was still fully clothed.
Oh thank God, she thought, laughing to herself. She brought a hand to her face to hide her relieved smile. She took a deep breath to calm the pounding in her chest.
Liara's eyes lazily crept open at the change in Alice's movements. Through her fingers, Alice met Liara's gaze. The thumping in her chest seemed to return with renewed vigor. She snapped her eyes shut and shakily removed her hand from her face and placed it on Liara's shoulder, trying to build some space between them. Bit by bit, Alice extricated her limbs from around Liara, finally able to command her body to stop dancing by doing so. Alice took another shuddering, nervous breath. She opened her eyes and was again ensnared by Liara's blue orbs. A gentle smile spread across Liara's lips. The hand that Alice had placed on Liara's shoulder seemed to move of its own accord, sliding down towards Liara's waist. Alice felt her body begin to move again, rejoining the rhythm with Liara's. Lips tightening into an embarrassed smile, she quickly snatched her hand back and forced herself to stop dancing.
She leaned in over Liara's shoulder and called out, "I'm gonna…" Alice stopped, suddenly unable to move, intoxicated by the delicate floral scent wafting from Liara's neck. She turned her head slightly, bringing her face inches away from the fabric covering the nape of Liara's delicate neckline. The neck… Alice felt drawn in, compelled to locate the source of that smell. She wanted to find the flower, to bury her face in it. She wanted to find an entire field of those flowers and lie down amongst them and simply bask in the warm sunlight. Liara turned her head, causing their cheeks to brush together and sending a jolt of electricity coursing down Alice's back. The shock caused a sharp intake of breath in Alice, breaking her free of her reverie long enough so she could will herself to continue.
"I'm gonna take a break and get some water," she said, blurting the words out faster than she had meant to. She pulled back and once more found herself transfixed by Liara's gaze. Liara gave a small nod, staring deeply into Alice's eyes. Alice quickly spun away, worried that if she looked at or touched Liara one more time, she'd somehow get stuck like that forever.
I suppose there are WORSE fates… She hastily made her way towards the restroom, trying to cover up with a free hand the broad smile that had made its way onto her face. Closing the door of the cavernous restroom granted some reprieve from the beat of the music. The thumping in Alice's chest, however, continued unabated. In the still air and the relative solitude of the large, dimly lit room, Alice managed to steady her breathing somewhat. Her cheeks felt flushed and warm to the touch. She strode across the room, her heels clopping loudly on the tiled floor, to one of the sinks. She hastily turned it on, splashing some of the cool water on her face. The contrasting cold felt glorious against her skin, but did little to break the spell she was under. She saw herself in the mirror, grinning stupidly like some lovesick teenager and giggled to herself.
Oh God, Alice… She shook her head at her reflection. What the hell are you doing? She closed her eyes and sighed, running a hand over her damp face.
"First time?"
Alice stiffened at the voice, not realizing anyone else was in there with her. She jerked around and noticed a tall, striking, raven-haired woman poised before of one of the other sinks, looking over her shoulder at Alice. She wore a short strapless, backless black dress which displayed a breathtaking amount of skin. Tattoos snaked around her body, slipping under the fabric of her dress, daring the viewer to follow.
"What?" Alice asked, dumbfounded.
"With an asari, I mean." The woman stated, nodding her head towards the dance floor. "I saw the two of you dancing out there." A devilish grin spread across her face. "Pretty heavy stuff… Looks like she's got you under her spell."
"Yeah…" Alice admitted. She blinked hard and shook her head, wondering why she was talking to this woman. "Wait, what? No… I…"
"Mmm… They're amazing, asari," she purred, ignoring Alice's sputtering as she leaned in close to the mirror, examining her visage. She reached into a small bag on the counter and pulled out a dark tube of lipstick. Alice watched as she applied a layer of dusky crimson to her full lips, offering a little kiss to her reflection as she finished.
"Mm mm mm…" she moaned again, nibbling her lower lip. Capping the lipstick, she turned to face Alice, leaning her hip against the sink. Her eyes stared into space and a small, pleased smile crossed her lips. "I can still remember my first time. God…" she let out a sigh. "The things she did to me… Those hands. That glorious lavender skin. Those eyes…" The woman closed her eyes and let the memories wash over her, sending shivers down her body.
Alice narrowed her eyes and scanned the dark-haired woman, wondering if she was planning on reliving those moments in greater detail and wanted some privacy.
Instead, she opened her eyes and shrugged. "It was over before I knew it. Always is. Everything's short-term with them," she stated, giving a shrug. "By comparison, I mean. A human lifetime is nothing but a blip compared to theirs, and no use in getting attached to something that's just gonna die on you. A few nights of amazing passion, and they just… move on." Alice felt an odd twisting sensation in her chest as the woman spoke.
"That's certainly an interesting interpretation," came a voice from one of the stalls. Alice heard a flush and out walked a comely woman whose brilliant blonde hair was swept up in a loose bun. She practically glowed in her white top, which had a high neck much like Liara's, but was cut to show off the pale skin of her shapely arms and stomach. The newcomer shook her head at the dark-haired woman with a bemused smile and moved to wash her hands.
"Don't listen to her, hun. Asari don't think that way. Not all of them, anyway." She finished washing her hands and turned to face Alice, fixing her with angelic blue eyes. "Sure, some will be happy to sleep their way through the galaxy. Much like some humans," she remarked with a sidelong glance to the dark-haired woman, who had slid her backside to sit atop one of the sinks, grinning shamelessly. "But, you know, just like us, some of them are looking for something… more."
The clenching within Alice's chest subsided slightly, and her breathing suddenly came easier. "You've been with an asari?" She inquired of the blonde woman.
"No, she hasn't," the dark-haired woman preempted with a smirk.
The blonde woman gave a small sigh. "It's true, I haven't," she responded demurely. "Though I did fall pretty hard for an asari, once. She was a professor of mine at university."
The dark-haired woman interjected once more. "Ooh yeah… she was hot for teacher!" she toyed, smiling wickedly.
The blonde continued, waving her hand to brush off the other woman. "I was felt like such little girl around her, you know? Finding any excuse I could to spend time with her – visiting during every office hours, staying after lectures, volunteering—"
"Did she ever spank you for being a bad girl?"
"In retrospect," she continued, unfazed, "I'm sure she knew that I had feelings for her, but I was always too afraid to act on them. I mean she was my professor, I was her student… I didn't know if it would be appropriate, you know?" Alice's gaze fell to the floor, realizing she knew all too well.
"Oh, come on! Not being appropriate is half the fun!" the dark-haired woman teased. "What's the point of there being rules if you're not gonna bend them a little?" She hopped down from the sink and moved toward Alice. "And speaking of bending, do you have any idea how flexible asar—"
"Oh, stop," the blonde chided, shaking her head. She turned back toward Alice with an apologetic look. "Look… I'm just saying… I missed out on something that could have been great, and hardly a day goes by that I don't think about her and wonder…" She gently placed a hand on Alice's shoulder. "I don't know what your deal is with your friend out there, but if you're feeling something, life's too short to not go for it. I mean, what have you got to lose?"
The raven-headed woman laughed, making her way past Alice toward the exit. "Oh, she should totally go for it! She should take that little asari," she said, acting out her suggestions with her hands, "find some dark corner, shove her up against the wall and just—"
The blonde woman groaned. "Oh my God, you're impossible!" she sighed, following the other out. Alice stood alone in the restroom. She mutely stared at the door for a moment, brow furrowing slightly.
"That was really weird," Alice breathed. She shook her head. Turning in place, she glanced in the mirror, double-checked her hair and lipstick, and ensured that her outfit was behaving, keeping everything 'in place'. With another chuckle, she headed back out to the bar.
Alice sidled up to the bar. Placing both hands on it, she leaned heavily, eyes staring into nothing, mind swirling with a thousand and one thoughts of the night and beyond. Odd or not, the women in the restroom had been helpful, if only to give voice to her own internal struggle. The idea of keeping this thing with Liara brief, with both quickly moving on with their lives had crossed her mind. Thinking about sex in casual terms was almost reflexive – she'd done it so many times over the years it only seemed natural. Except that this time it didn't… She felt something with Liara. Something more than just the physical.
That certainly hasn't stopped you from THINKING about the physical… Alice admitted to herself, a tingling sensation creeping down her legs.
No, she knew that she wanted it to be more than that. But what did that mean? Dating? Marriage? Growing old and having lots of little blue babies together? Alice chuckled at herself.
Oh my God, what the hell is wrong with you? You're acting like such a teenager, she sighed to herself, already thinking about marriage when you haven't even been on so much as a date together. Was such a thing even possible for the two of them? What sort of future could they have? She was a Spectre, sworn to serve the Council and protect the galaxy at any cost, even if it meant sacrificing her own life… or happiness. When the mission was over, she'd go on to the next crisis threatening to doom the galaxy, and Liara… There was nothing tangible keeping them together. Liara could go anywhere, do anything she pleased. She could return to some far-off dig site and… Alice felt a lump rising in her throat. And they'd never see each other again.
And yet…
She's free to go anytime she wants NOW, and she's here. She chooses to stay. Together on this mission. Together on this ship. Together with her. It might not be much, but it had to count for something.
Of course, none of that would matter if she got court-martialed for pursuing a romantic relationship with someone under her command. She had no doubt that the Alliance was capable of such a thing – after all, these were the same people who kept a great soldier like Ashley down because her grandfather gave them a black eye. But would they have the authority to act against her? She was a Spectre now, she answered to the Council. Of course, the ship, the crew, and just about everything else she had was owned by the Alliance. It's possible that the Council would provide her with a new ship. Then she'd be able to hand-pick her crew, which would be a windfall. That is, of course, assuming they didn't have the same regulations about fraternization that the Alliance did.
There was still the issue of Liara being under Alice's command while she was on the ship. One of the first things Alice was taught before she took up a position of leadership was to not get emotionally involved with your crew. Doing so only causes problems. You can't have your subordinates wondering if your orders are driven by reason or emotion. Or worse: disobeying your orders because of their own feelings for you. Of course, as Dr. Chakwas pointed out, she was already going against that mindset by being friendly with her crew, and the universe hadn't collapsed. Yet. But this was… This was different.
"Hey hey hey! None of that!"
Alice looked up at a bartender as he zipped by, spinning a bottle of some liquor or another in his hand, wagging a finger in her direction.
"None of that mopey shit in my bar, red. You hear me?" He cracked a grin to let her know he was only mostly serious.
She returned the smile, holding up her hands in mock surrender, and he spun away to help another patron. Leaning once more against the counter, she observed him working. It didn't take her long to become impressed at his ability. Each movement leading into another – pouring a drink turned into collecting a bill transitioned to cleaning up – no motion wasted.
"You make that look easy," she called out to him.
"What's that?" he asked as he dropped an empty bottle into an unseen refuse bin before kicking the bin back under the counter and deftly bringing up a fresh bottle to open.
"I said you're making all that look too easy."
"What, this?" he asked as he flipped a glass onto the counter and began pouring a drink. "Nah, you should see all the broken glass back here. Good thing that music's so damn loud, no one hears all the shit I drop." He gave her a wink and slid the freshly-poured drink to a patron, dropped the bottle back into place beneath the bar, and grabbed the money for the drink before spinning around to ring up the bill.
"Still, you seem like you know what you're doing back there."
He let out a laugh, grabbing a fresh order from the printer and the glasses he'd need to make it in one swift movement. "Hell, red. Half the time I'm just hoping I don't drop a bottle of the expensive shit."
"And the other half?"
He chuckled. "The other half of the time I am dropping the expensive shit."
Alice smirked. "Well at least it seems like you're making up for it," she said, gesturing at the nearly overflowing tip jar.
He gave a quick glance over his shoulder as he slid the drinks across the counter. "Eh, most of the time, sure. You got your good nights and your bad. Tonight looks like it's gonna be a pretty good night, but who knows? It ain't easy, that's for sure."
"You ever think about doing something 'easy'?"
He stopped his bartender ballet long enough to square off to Alice. "Easy? What's easy? Boring little agro-planets out in the boondocks of the galaxy? Taking care of some shifty-eyed cows for a living and eating the same three prepackaged meals morning, noon, and night just so you can pretend that you're safe? No variety? No excitement? No thank you. I'm here doing this 'cause I want to be. Easy's for chumps!" he finished, wagging a finger at her to accentuate his point.
Alice gave a little laugh. "Fair enough."
"How 'bout you, red?" he asked, resuming his flurry of activity. "You likin' what you do?"
Alice lowered her eyes as she thought about her current situation – chasing down a mad turian Spectre, hell-bent on wiping humanity off the face of the galaxy, who commands an army of killing machines, flies at the helm of one of the largest and most dangerous ships anyone has ever seen, and has one of the galaxy's most powerful asari matriarchs at his side. If that weren't bad enough, as a Spectre herself, her every move was meticulously examined and second-guessed by the Council, her every mistake broadcast across the galaxy by over-zealous reporters, and the results of her decisions often had body counts attached to them.
But then she recalled the Spectre induction ceremony, and the great swell of pride she felt when she was given the honor of being humanity's first representative amongst those ranks. She regularly had Admiral Hackett of the 5th fleet call her personally to request assistance. She got to visit worlds most people would never set foot on, see sights that most would never see. And the people… Ash and Garrus and Tali and Kaidan and Wrex and… and Liara…
Alice smiled. "It ah… it has its moments."
The bartender guffawed and tossed an empty bottle across the bar where it clattered in another unseen waste bin. "That's all life is, red, just a buncha moments 'til we get through the day. Good ones don't come without bad."
Alice's smile widened. "You are wise beyond your years, my good man."
He chuckled and extended his hand. "Name's Dex."
Alice accepted the offering, shaking his hand casually. "Alice."
"Nice to meet ya. So, Alice, what can I get ya?"
"Just water. Make it two."
"Whoah, careful there, girl. Don't wanna overdo it…"
Tali sat alone at the table and blew out a sigh, shutting down the file she had been projecting on her visor. She'd already read through every news feed and tech manual that she had on her, and was quickly being overwhelmed with boredom. She thought about flagging down one of the waitresses and ordering another of whatever beverage Chief Williams had forced onto her earlier, but the idea of drinking by herself somehow made her feel worse than simply sitting by herself. She began to regret coming out in the first place. No, that wasn't it – she liked being off the ship – the pulse of the music and the overall noisiness of the club was a welcome reprieve from the deafening silence on the Normandy, so different from any of the ships on the Flotilla.
She felt incredibly stupid for having pretended to pass out so she could get out of drinking with Ashley and Liara. She just wasn't used to the focused attention from the crew outside of engineering. She appreciated that Ashley had gone out of her way to invite her along, given the Chief's well-known dislike for aliens. Truth be told, Ashley wasn't that bad of a person to hang out with. She could be charming, if a little brusque at times. Hearing her speak about her family's history, Tali began to think that maybe her dislike of aliens had more to do with the past than any personal experience. She made a mental note to try and be more receptive to the aggressive friendship tactics of Chief Williams – Ashley, she corrected herself, recalling the woman's insistence that 'When I look like this, you can call me Ashley.'
She looked out across the heads of the dancing mass towards the bar where she had last seen Shepard, chatting with the bartender. Shepard, on the other hand, was someone that Tali always looked forward to seeing. She supposed that was the REAL reason that she felt so stupid and alone at the moment. Would it have been so odd had she simply 'woken up' when Shepard arrived? Tali lowered her head, eyes half-open in remembrance of all the times that the two of them would sit on the floor of the engineering bay, poring over some recovered piece of a destroyed geth, or trying to identify salvaged debris pulled from a recovered satellite. She missed those times – times which seemed to be happening less and less often since Liara came on board. Tali shook her head. She knew that Shepard made a concerted effort to spend at least some one-on-one time with all of her crew. She recalled all of the times that she'd seen her leaning against the lockers, chit-chatting with Ashley, or crawling around the huge, six-wheeled Mako to help Garrus with repairs. She even made a point to talk to Wrex on occasion, despite the krogan's apparent desire to be left alone. She knew she couldn't blame Liara for "taking" Shepard away any more than she could the rest of the crew. Liara was just another crewmate for Shepard to spend time with, right? Tali sighed, feeling silly for worrying. It felt odd… desiring the proximity of someone like this. Particularly a human…
Tali looked back towards the bar just in time to catch Shepard head back to the dance floor, bottles of what appeared to be water in her hands. When the women first went to the floor, Tali hadn't been able to keep track of them amongst the rest of the masses. No longer slouched in her seat, Tali had a better view and was able to follow Shepard's face. She looked happy, or so it seemed. Tali was only just beginning to be able to read human facial expressions. Just then, Shepard stopped dead in her tracks, and her face took on a whole new look – one that Tali knew plenty well. It was the same look Shepard had on her face whenever she got ambushed by a reporter or was forced to speak with Ambassador Udina, a look that said 'You're in my way'. Shepard began to move with haste towards something on the dance floor. Rising from her seat, Tali noticed that several humans had confronted Liara, one tall man in particular seemed to be rather agitated.
Thoughts flitted through Alice's head about all the times in the past when she'd had to knock some sense into a drunken idiot who just didn't get that she or her friends didn't want anything to do with him. Satisfying moments of retribution, ultimately accomplishing nothing. It's not as though those guys ever 'learned' anything by her kicking their faces in, and it sure never prevented other guys from trying the same thing later on, but it sure felt good to do it at the time. She knew she'd long since grown past the need for such blatant overreactions, though, and that she was only feeling the way she was because…
Because SHE gets you acting like a teenager? Alice sighed, unclenching her jaw and loosening the death-grip she had on the bottles of water she carried as she approached the man closest to Liara.
"Didn't your mother ever tell you no means no?" Alice quipped.
"Excuse me?" the man responded, snarling at Alice.
"I said it doesn't look like she's interested." Alice positioned her body between Liara and her accoster. She gave Liara a quick look to make sure she was alright and pushed a bottle into her hand. "You okay?" she quietly asked. Liara offered a cool nod, eyes lowered. "Come on, let's go."
"That's her," Alice heard one of the other men call out. She turned and noticed the shiny head and ugly face of the burly man who had tried vainly to 'dance' with her earlier.
Oh you've got to be kidding me, she groaned.
"Ah, so you're the one," the tall man sniggered.
"I usually am," she responded. She squared her shoulders and turned to face the group. "There a problem here?" Her eyes narrowed and she felt her legs tense up, ready to pounce or run should either need arise.
The bald one stepped forward. "No problem, red. Just telling your little blue friend here," he accentuated, jabbing a finger towards Liara, "to stay away from our women."
"Your women?" she scoffed. "Funny, I don't see any of your women around her…"
"C'mon, remember you and me were gonna dance earlier," he asked, lewdly gyrating his hips.
"Oh… I remember alright," Alice's lip curled in disgust. I remember telling you I wasn't interested."
"That's just 'cause she's got you under her spell, baby. I can fix that for ya."
"Apparently not, if you had to bring four of your boyfriends with you." She gave an amused glance at the three men she'd just prodded. "And who says I'm under a spell, anyway?"
"Come on, baby, you gonna turn down all this for some tentacle-headed alien?" he spat out the word like it was an insult.
Alice's eyes narrowed and she felt the muscles in her shoulders tensing up. It was one thing to be an overbearing jackass who couldn't take a hint, but it was another thing entirely to be a bigoted overbearing jackass who couldn't take a hint. She took a breath to try and calm down and remind herself that he wasn't worth her time. "This may be hard to comprehend, but I'm pretty sure I turned you down without needing a reason."
"She's doing that mind shit to you, baby, come on." The bald man grabbed her wrist with a scratchy hand.
"Hey!" Liara barked, stepping forward.
Alice swept one arm back to keep Liara at bay. She deftly spun her other arm in a small circle, lessening the man's tight grip, twisting his right arm painfully. Her own hand free to move, she latched her fingers on the side of his hand. She jammed her thumb between the bones on the back of his hand and pressed hard. The hand bent backwards roughly, bringing the much larger man yelping to his knees. The three men in the rear immediately made a move towards Alice. With a quick glance, she shoved the kneeling man into them, stopping them in their tracks.
"Now, if there's nothing else…" Alice turned her back on the men and moved to usher Liara away. "Come on," she whispered, placing a hand on Liara's back to usher her away.
"Fine, bitch. Take your little blue whore and get the hell out of here!" the tall man growled.
Days later, Alice would look back at what happened next and feel a slight sense of relief. Had 'Commander Shepard' turned around – N7 operative, Citadel Spectre, Alliance Commander Shepard – she probably would have killed the man. Knuckle punch to the throat to force his hands high. Snap kick to the inside of the left knee to remove him from his feet. Right knee to the jaw to end the fight and likely break his neck. It would have been over quickly, executed with cold military precision. Not that it ever would have happened. Commander Shepard had more sense than to start a bar fight with someone just because he called one of her crew a name.
Ali-cat, on the other hand, just heard someone call her girl a whore. In response, the unrefined, unapologetic Ali-cat simply spun around and landed a devastating right-hook square on the tall man's still-snarling face. As she followed through with the blow, Alice's eyes went wide with the realization that her body had betrayed her yet again. She looked up and the universe seemed to slow to a crawl as the man crashed to the ground in a heap. The other four men immediately charged her and Liara.
In that moment, Alice certainly didn't feel any sense of relief.
