A/N: Hello,
Thank you for the positive reception of the story. I was genuinely surprised and grateful.
Enjoy the next chapter

~M


Chapter 3

APOV

I was unsure what to do. At first, I was shocked. It couldn't be real. I knew that it wasn't for me in the long run. I've really tried to be like he wanted, but I was never going to be enough. I wanted to confide in someone, but no one was there. Alex was at Dad's. Kate was constantly with or talking about Elliot. I was alone. I was thinking about getting myself drunk but dismissed it a few second after it popped in my head. There was no expiration date and that worried me most. I wanted to know the frames I was allowed to move within. I had to know all the limits, even about time.

The days were passing quickly. I was crazy with latest project and it took longer than my team initially expected. That was good because I was capable of distancing myself from what had to be done. I didn't want to leave, but I knew that if I told him about my feelings, it'd all be over in less than a second.

It was our last weekend. I was to make a decision about our future. I knew what he wanted but I had to have clarification before I make final conclusions. I put on jeans and shirt. I wanted to feel comfortable. Secondly, I didn't have much time to change after work. I had to stay longer anyway. I was ten minutes early. I had the envelope in my hand. I was tired and stressed. I really hoped he'd understand my doubts and be willing to explain everything to me and negotiate. He knew a thing or two about it. Just as I reached his apartment I felt the smell of Mrs. Jones' cooking. That was odd because normally she'd have Friday evening off. It was my job to prepare something to eat. Not that I minded. It was one of the things I felt good at.

She noticed me and sent a warm smile.

"Nice to see you again, Ms. Steele." She was very nice, and I felt close to her, in a way.

"Yeah, you too. Where's Mr. Grey?" She pointed his study and I went there. I knocked and waited for the answer. He was on the phone and I didn't want to interrupt. All I heard was laugh. He was probably talking to someone from the family.

I went back to help Gail.

"I just want to feel useful." I said in small voice, but Mr. Jones told me to just sit and wait. She made me a cup of tea which was a blessing. I almost drifted away when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I didn't react. I didn't open my eyes. I was just sitting and enjoying the evening before it was ruined.

"I asked Mrs. Jones to make something for us. Come." We went to the table and it felt a bit. We didn't eat together too often. I was fighting with my thoughts all the time. He was acting like his usual self. We weren't talking much.

"I felt like I've neglected you lately, just relax." He waited until I finished and then moved closer to me.

"Hey, what's the matter?" I knew not to lie, but I didn't quite know how to put it in words. I wanted to tell him how I feel but I was afraid. The risk was high, and I was afraid I'd lose him.

"I'm confused, Mr. Grey. I've been thinking a lot lately. Even before you brought it up again."

"About that…"

"I'm not sure that's what I want in the long run." I looked at him, but I couldn't read a thing of his face. It was his mask he was putting on for most of the time.

"Do you want to talk about it in my study or in your room?" I shook my head. It wasn't important. We had to talk.

"Don't care. I've been off lately and… I don't know how to put it. It doesn't matter." I saw concern on Christian's face when he heard it. We went to my room which was more comforting that his cold office. I had a blanket to bury in, and I could hug a pillow if I needed. I didn't know what to say for the proper start.

"It's our last weekend, isn't it?" I didn't nod, nor shook my head.

"I don't know. I haven't made the decision yet. Believe me, I wish it was that easy." He took the contract out and opened it to negotiate. "Put it away, please. I've been reading it far too many times." He listened to me and I felt relieved.

"Okay. Talk to me, Anastasia."

"I've changed in a way I didn't want since I met you. I don't like it."


CPOV

I was almost on the edge. I was waiting impatiently for her to come, but the good mood evaporated the moment I saw her in my apartment. I knew what was coming and I wanted to play it cool to convince her to stay. We could make it work. We've managed to do that for months, why not more? I didn't want her to leave and move on like nothing happened. I knew she was tired. She's had a tough week, but still tried to be brave. Of course, I noticed she changed. I didn't know she didn't like it though.

"Did something happen? Taylor mentioned you regretted you didn't go to see your Dad." She sighed. No, not this time.

"I just wish I had time off at the same time as Alex, so we could go together. It isn't about my family. It's about me. I think it'll be for the best if I leave now, so I could avoid… further changes I might not like. I know you've been trying to give me more. Believe me, I saw it. I really did. But at the same time, I saw it wasn't what you wanted. I can't spend any more time with you as a sub. It's too much for me and you want to extend it and I saw no expiration date. I don't like it. I need distance and clear frames, so I could be my own self." I haven't thought about it that way. She was extremely careful in her choice of words. I should've been more careful. Why didn't I notice she wasn't coping well? Well, she was always good at hiding her emotions, but that isn't a justification. She wasn't my first sub.

"All in all, you can't give me what I want, and I can't do that to you." I felt her pain when she was saying those words.

"We can work this out. I'll try harder. I really care for you." I wasn't used to talking about my emotions to somebody else than Flynn.

"Do you? Do you mean it?" I immediately nodded. I wanted to hold her but at the same time I had to see her clearly, so I waited. That evening went nothing as I planned.

"What's bothering you? I don't want to play games. I want you to tell me exactly what's going in your head. I mean it." Her eyes went immediately down, and I was absolutely petrified when I heard her saying those words out loud.

"I've fallen in love with you. Now that you know, I can finally leave, on my own terms. Everything is clear now, isn't it?" I saw relief on her face and tears that came with it. She stood up but before she took a step I took her by her hand.

"Stay." She froze, and I stood up as well. Before I could understand what I was doing, she was in my arms. It wasn't painful as I was always thinking. We were both shaking now. It was the first time I held her like that. For the past months I wanted to try it, but I didn't want to cross the lines I've put myself in order to protect both of us. I didn't want to hurt her. The distance was helpful to keep feelings at bay.

I couldn't say a word. We were just standing until she relaxed and stopped crying. I suspected that, but I wasn't sure. I needed confirmation and I had it in front of me. I let her go and I knew she didn't want to even look at me. I told every woman the same thing. Feelings meant immediate termination. She knew what she was doing. She was struggling with being honest or lying. But she wasn't just like any other woman. I've never chased anyone like her. I always felt excited whenever she was around. I felt alive when she was around. That was why I wanted more of her. It turned out she's already given me all she could, and she decided to take a step back before I take too much.

"How long?"

"Long enough." I let her go and sat. I brushed my hair with my fingers. I needed to sort everything out. I looked at the contract and threw it to a bin. Anastasia was still standing in the same spot. She saw what I did but didn't comment. I told her to stay and she stayed.

"I don't want you to leave. Not now, not ever." She finally lay down and I could stroke her beautiful hair. "I can give you what you need. It's not what I'm used to, but that doesn't mean we're done." I was quiet, but I knew she was listening to every word.

"I was afraid. I know that you're a man of your word." I smirked, that was far more than fear. She was on the edge. If I told her to leave, I would've destroyed her and that would haunt me forever. I remembered that day when she asked me if she was enough. Of course, she was. She was never like any other woman.

"I'm so sorry. I really didn't want to hurt you."

"I know. I'd be fine." I was hugging her and I was totally unsure of the future.

"I know it might seem odd what I'm going to say. Always tell me what's on your mind. I'm serious."

"I will. I heard you talking on the phone when I came." I was talking to Mia. She was inviting me for dinner tomorrow. She could always persuade me to come. That gave me an idea.

"My sister. She's really adorable." I laughed at the memory.

"I like that sound." She admitted shyly.

"That's really nice, you know?"

.

In the morning I was unsure if the events of yesterday had actually happened. We needed to talk some more. When I returned from my morning run I realised she wasn't in the bedroom. I called but the phone was in her room. I quickly scolded myself when I heard the sound of water stream.

I was sat and waiting for her. That situation was very new to me, and to make things worse I was informed that my mother was coming at ten. I promised to eat with her in the morning if I wasn't sure if I'd make it to the dinner. It hit me that I couldn't leave Anastasia just like that. In the past it happened, but we were about to discuss our future. Three words can change everything, and she was more important than some dinner.

She left the bathroom and got dressed in comfortable trousers and loose blouse. Her eyes looked better than yesterday. I was just staring at her for a few seconds taking in all the details.

"How are you feeling, Ana?" It was a nickname most people used. I wanted to break the distance gradually.

"It did happen? It wasn't a dream, was it?" I saw concern on her face and nodded. I led her on the bed and told her about that night.

"I couldn't sleep very well, and I was thinking about us. I want just as much as you, but you've already given that to me. Would you like to be my girlfriend, like regular people?" Her eyes widened in shock and surprise. I could run an empire why couldn't I date a woman?

"I would, Christian." I liked the sound of my name, the way she spoke it.

"Good, because you're going to meet my Mum in about fifteen minutes."

"Wait, what?" I saw hesitation. Yeah, maybe that was a bit too fast.

"I promised her, and I don't want to leave you here on your own. Or, if you need some time to adjust to that, then okay, I'll contact her to cancel."

"No, it's just super-fast."

"We have time for ourselves later, she's going to love you the moment she sees you." I kissed her forehead and let my Mum know, I wasn't going to show up alone.

"Before we leave, there's only one rule: do not mention anything concerning the nature of our relationship. I'll do the talking. Clear?" When she nodded, I felt like I was given a second chance to right my wrongs.


Okay: thanks for today, hopefully you enjoyed it and see you guys next time,
all the feedback appreciated :)
~M