Title: All for One – The Boring One

Pairings: None

Rating: G

Warnings: None

Author's Note: This is a stand alone story, although it's technically the third part of this series. This can be read without any previous knowledge of the others, although there is a passing reference to the second story. The theme behind these ficlets is one member of the Elite Trine (Starscream, Thundercracker and Skywarp) gets the whole group into trouble. Talking through comm channels is shown, ::like this.::


"This has become tedious, Skywarp. Stop boring me with your lies, and tell me what you did!"

"Ha! That's funny coming from you, Starscream, the master of lies! I didn't do anything, and you know it! I'm completely innocent. I refuse to be blamed for whatever you did this time."

"You are many things: moronic, juvenile, stupid, irresponsible, repugnant." Starscream counted the words out with his fingers. "The list goes on and on. But no where on that list does the word 'innocent' appear. In fact, 'guilty' is on there. Twice. For emphasis."

Thundercracker stood to the side, watching his trine mates' argument grow increasingly louder. They were in the Nemesis' docking bay, which currently housed maintenance supplies for their sunken home. In theory, the three Seekers should have been gathering their supplies for the arduous task of sealing the hull against the corrosive sea water. (A slow, processor-numbing task, which involved dragging a specialized applicator across the ship's surface to spread the sealant. The entire process took days. And, as far as Thundercracker could tell, was completely pointless. The Nemesis was crafted with the highest grade materials. No mere salt water could damage it. Yet, whenever Megatron was particularly annoyed with someone – and beating them into spare parts would let them off too easy – he assigned this task to them.) Instead, Starscream and Skywarp took this opportunity to blame each other, loudly, for the trine's current situation. Thundercracker leaned against the wall, arms crossed, watching them.

"I'm not 'repugnant!' Is that even a word? I'm not any of those things! You're just pawning your punishment off on us! Like always! We're sick of it!" Skywarp jabbed his finger into his trine leader's chest plate.

"Remove that finger or I will. Permanently." Starscream scowled at the other mech, until Skywarp lowered the offending digit. "Your persistence amazes me. What do you hope to gain by pursuing this charade? Just drop it, and tell me what you did!"

Thundercracker glanced at the bay's security camera. They were taking too long. Before long someone would notice they weren't out there working. If they didn't start soon, Megatron might order them to seal the hull twice. He winced at the thought.

"I keep telling you, I didn't do anything! But you know that already! So, you 'drop it' and tell us what you did to tangle Megs wires up so much!"

"You know, as well as I do, that when our 'mighty' leader's mad at me, he usually beats the slag out of me. Assuming he just doesn't shoot me. He hasn't done either. That means that you did something!"

"It was me," Thundercracker spoke up.

"No, it just means you blamed me for something! You do that all the time!" Skywarp continued, without pause.

"I did it."

"I wouldn't be able to blame you all the time, if you weren't always doing something wrong!" Starscream yelled.

"Is anyone listening to me?" Thundercracker waved his hand. "It's my fault."

"Maybe if I had a decent Air Commander, I could do stuff right!" Skywarp countered.

"You can't even walk down a hall without messing something up! Or breaking something, or taking a 'detour.' You're impossible!"

"Hello?" Thundercracker rubbed his chin, thinking. "Unicron's outside with a bouquet of roses. He's preaching galactic peace and wants to buy us a round of high grade."

"I mess things up? What about you? How many times have you tried to take over the Decepticons, and slagged that up?"

"At least my ambitions run higher than practical jokes and petty pranks!"

"Nothing, huh? Hmm." Thundercracker nodded. "The sun imploded. It's become a black hole, and it's devouring this system. We have maybe a minute left, then we're all dead."

"But at least I have fun! All you do is scheme, mess it up, then blame your trine mates! Which reminds me, what did you get us into this time?" Skywarp glared at the Air Commander.

"Stop already! This is pointless, when we both know I didn't do anything!"

Thundercracker tilted his head, considering. He snapped his fingers, his optics brightening. "Megatron died. But with his dying breath, he named Skywarp his successor."

"Wait, what?" Starscream held up a hand, silencing Skywarp. The Air Commander turned to Thundercracker. "What did you just say?"

"Figures." The blue mech threw his hands up in exasperation. "You are so predictable. What I've been trying to say, but you two have been too noisy to hear, is that this," he gestured around the bay, "is my fault."

"But what did you say?" Starscream insisted.

"I lied. Three times in fact. I was trying to get your attention and you wouldn't listen. So I said Megatron died and left Skywarp in command."

Skywarp burst into laughter. Starscream opened and shut his mouth several times, but no sound came out. He finally shook his head. This set Skywarp into further peels of laughter. Starscream turned to the cackling Seeker. "Shut up!"

Skywarp muffled himself down to intense giggling, but still did not stop. Every time he glanced at his trine leader caused a fresh case of snickering. Thundercracker shook his head. He opened a private comm channel with his fellow Seeker. ::Uh, 'Warp, it wasn't that funny.::

::So, if I'm the new leader, can I make grumpy faces and beat up Screamer every time he opens his mouth?::

"Do not call me that, and no, you certainly may not," Starscream interrupted aloud, his optics narrowing.

Thundercracker and Skywarp turned to him, shocked.

"You cheated! That was a private channel! You're not supposed to listen in," Skywarp pouted.

"You're forgetting who established the Seekers' comm channel, and our private comms." Starscream shook his head. "As if I'd give you that, and not grant myself complete access to it. I'm the only one who can listen to anything you lot say." He tilted his head, considering. "Well, probably Soundwave too. I doubt there's any system he can't get into."

"Wait a klik." Skywarp held up a finger. "Back up. TC, did you say this was your fault?"

"Yes." Thundercracker shrugged as his trine turned their attention back to him.

"Did Screamer put you up to this?" Skywarp asked.

"What?" the other two asked in unison. Starscream added, "And stop calling me that!"

"Well, he must have. You never get in trouble, TC. You're the boring one."

"I'm the what? What do you mean, 'the boring one?' I'm not boring." Thundercracker turned to Starscream. "Am I boring?"

The Air Commander shrugged.

"It's okay to be boring. Really." Skywarp nodded, smiling reassuringly. "You're … reliable. Yeah. If we need you, we always know that boring ol' TC's ready. That's a good thing, right?"

Thundercracker glared at the black and purple mech.

"Do you think about what you say, or do you simply vomit out whatever words enter your processor?" Starscream mused.

"Did you know the humans have a condition like that," Thundercracker muttered. "They call it Tourette's."

"Why would I know that? Better question: why would I want to know that?" Starscream asked. "Why do you know that?"

"He watches TV," Skywarp snickered. "Something called the Discovery Channel."

"'Warp! Shut up!"

"You watch … what?" Starscream asked.

"TV!" Skywarp chortled. "Told you. Boring!"

"I suppose I could be like you," Thundercracker retorted, glaring, "gluing feathers onto Shockwave – "

" – that was an accident – "

"Doing it to Shockwave was an accident, the glue and feathers were not. Or I could mess with the base's comm system, and cause it to crash so horribly that it can only receive one channel: a human radio station."

"That was you?" Starscream turned on Skywarp, who shrugged.

"It was an acc–"

"It's always an accident!" Thundercracker growled. "But Soundwave couldn't fix your 'accident' for days. We had to listen to that," he searched for an appropriate word, "that ruckus the humans call 'Country.' I have no idea what a 'Garth Brooks' is, or why humans would want to have a marathon for it, but that was pure agony."

Starscream winced, rubbing his temple. "I never want to hear about an 'Achy Breaky Heart' again. That noise kept repeating itself in my processor, even after it was silenced. It was like a virus. I had to manually purge my memory banks."

"Soundwave probably could have fixed it sooner, if Megatron hadn't blasted the main console," Skywarp muttered. He continued, looking thoughtful, "And I think they were appeasing someone, a dark lord. I heard about them. They were very powerful, and ruled a huge army. They wielded swords made of light, and some of them tossed lightning from their hands. They used something called 'the force.' Sounds stupid, I know, but it's really powerful. And two dark users of the force wiped out all the other ones. They were called Darth something-or-others. Darth Brooks must have been one too, and the humans were worshiping him. Or, at least, sucking up to him."

Thundercracker regarded his trine mate in disbelief. "'Warp? That's all made up."

"I did not make it up!" Skywarp crossed his arms. "You're just grumpy that I know something you don't. What's wrong, TC, didn't see that while you watched TV?"

"It certainly wasn't on the History Channel," the blue mech muttered.

"Who cares?" Starscream asked. "I, personally, have no interest in human history. Can we return to the issue at hand? Specifically, what could you possibly have done that angered Megatron?"

Thundercracker glared at the Air Commander. "I'm not boring." He glanced between his trine mates. He shook his head, frowning. "I'm not."

"Oh no, you're the wild one." Skywarp waved his hand dismissively.

Thundercracker opened his mouth, but Starscream interrupted him, "You're boring. Get used to it. Now, what did you do?"

Scowling, the blue mech said, "After that last loss to the Autobots, Megatron was furious. He told me to get you two, and we were supposed to flatten this human town." The other Seekers stared at him, not speaking. He shrugged. "It was a pointless, petty attack. No strategic advantage. There was no risk to it. They offered no challenge. Or advantage for succeeding. Not worth our time."

"So, what, you just chose to ignore direct orders from Megatron?" Skywarp challenged him. "Not only that, but you also chose not to tell us about those orders. I have no problems blowing humans up, whether or not it's 'worth our time.' You should have said something! What did you think would happen when Megs found out?"

"Honestly, I didn't think Megatron was going to follow up on it."

"Megatron makes it a habit to ensure all orders are obeyed if I'm involved with them," Starscream replied dryly. He shrugged. "It's almost as if he doesn't trust me."

"Ah. Hmm, I should have realized that."

"You need to follow orders. And tell us when those orders affect us," the Air Commander growled.

"I need to follow orders?" Thundercracker said. "Coming from you, that means almost nothing."

"I'm still mad at you," Skywarp pointed at the blue mech, "but that's funny. And true."

"Regardless of any humor inherent in that statement, as your Air Commander, I expect you to follow orders. When I disobey Megatron, I like to know about it."

"But you didn't disob – wait … " Skywarp clutched his head in his hands. "No, no, no! Not only did you technically disobey Megs, so did I. Gah! It's not just one of us. We're all being punished. 'Cause we all disobeyed orders. Doesn't matter that our boring brother decided not to relay those orders."

"I'm not … oh, never mind!" Thundercracker turned away from his trine mates. He glanced over the sealant canisters and applicators, picking them up and testing the various valves. "We need to get working. It won't take long for Megatron or Soundwave to notice we're not out there. I'd rather not be accused of ignoring him twice."

"We shouldn't have to do anything! This is all your fault!" Skywarp yelled at the other's back.

"What?" Thundercracker turned back around. "Do you realize how many times I've been punished for something you've done? All those 'accidents' you have, who is it that gets in dragged into whatever mess you've made? Me." He turned to Starscream. "And let's not forget our Air Commander. How many times have you passed your blunders off onto us? I don't want to hear complaints from either of you. I haven't done a fraction of the slag either of you have."

"We know," Skywarp agreed. "Remember? We covered that. You're boring."

Thundercracker glared at the black and purple mech. He opened his mouth, then snapped it shut with a growl. Turning away again, he grabbed an applicator and headed for the airlock doors. Over his shoulder, he called back to them, "Move."

The other Seekers exchanged glances. Starscream nodded Skywarp toward the tools. With a long-suffering groan, the black and purple mech walked over and scooped up the nearest canister. He tested the valves, not really paying attention.

The nozzle blew apart.

Skywarp shrieked as sealant sprayed over his front. In a purple flash, he vanished. Surprised, Starscream launched himself into the air and bolted to the far side of the room. The Air Commander looked down at himself in disgust. Several gobs of sealant clung to his frame. By the airlock, and out of range of the sealant explosion, Thundercracker leaned against the wall.

::Skywarp! Get your worthless chassis back here!:: Starscream commanded over their comm channel. ::Your sealant tank is spewing everywhere. I'm not cleaning this up.::

::It's all over me! It's waterproof. I won't be able to wash it off! I'll have to use chemicals. My paint'll be ruined!:: Skywarp wailed.

::I don't care. Get back here!::

Another purple flash heralded Skywarp's return, near Thundercracker and well away from the leaking tank. His entire front was coated with a dark green, oily substance which slowly oozed down. He wiped his hands across the mess, succeeding only in smearing it more. "This is … awful! It's a mess! Look at me!"

Thundercracker smirked.

"How did that happen? You just checked them, right?" Skywarp asked Thundercracker. The blue mech nodded, slowly. "What happened?"

"I'm sure I don't know," Thundercracker said, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He held up a small bolt, turning it over in his fingers. "I can't imagine how the pressure regulator came off. Obviously, I had nothing to do with it. After all, I'm the boring one."


Author's (Second) Note - Thank you a href=".net/u/2996210/"Imaginethat96/a for the idea of the song getting stuck in their heads. And my apologies to any Garth Brooks fans. What can I say? It was too good to pass up.