A/N: The conclusion of Letters To an Unnamed Santa. Happy reading!
DISCLAIMER: Intellectual Property belongs to TStabler©, Characters belong to Dick Wolf©
Elliot ran down the hallway, out of breath, covered in white, fluffy snow. He had a few still- blinking lights, shards of ornaments and pine needles all over his wool coat from the Christmas tree he ran into, rolled over and destroyed in the lobby. He knocked vigorously on Olivia's door, panting, looking like a human Hallmark Card.
The door opened and the face staring back at him was certainly not Olivia's. "Oh, uh, hello," the man said. He was decent looking, but didn't seem to be Olivia's type. The guy spun around, facing into the apartment and yelled, "Olivia, you have a guest. Did you order a Christmas tree?" the jerk said with a laugh.
"What?" Olivia said coming over to the door. "No, why the hell would I…Elliot?"
She was wearing navy blue NYPD sweatpants and…was that Elliot's Queen's College hoodie? She turned to the man and said, "Thanks for fixing the sink, if it starts spitting at me again, I'll call you."
"Anytime, Detective Benson," he said with a wink. He turned to Elliot as she sidled out of the apartment. "Bye, Buddy the Elf." He walked down the hallway, laughing merrily.
"Who was that, Liv?" Elliot said, staring after the guy, making sure he walked away. Far away.
"My landlord, El. Why do you look like Christmas threw up on you? And what are you doing here?" She stepped aside allowing him to enter, and she closed the door behind them.
"Well, uh, I had to race to get here in time, I used the portable light and turned on my siren, and then when I pulled up to your building I ran through the foyer so fast that I didn't see the tree in the lobby and fell over it, well, I fell through it, actually, but I didn't stop running, I just kind of rolled to my feet and ran up the stairs, so here I am, and it's eleven-fifty-six, so I only have four minutes to do this," he said, talking so fast she'd hardly understood a single thing.
"Woah, wait, what?" she asked. "Do what? Four minutes?"
"Liv," he said as he pulled her letter out of his pocket. Her eyes widened and she backed up, slowly. He took a step forward and continued. "Fin, uh, asked me to be Santa…"
"No, no, no, no, no," she repeated quickly. "You didn't read that, right? Tell me you didn't read that. Fuck, you read that?" She turned around and hit her head against the wall.
"I read it, Liv. I read it three times."
She lifted her head up, only to have it come down against the wall again with a loud thud. "Perfect, the one time I don't ask for a fucking pony."
"Liv, look at me," he demanded gently. He stepped closer to her and put his pine scented hand on her cold shoulder. "Please, just look at me."
"Christ, El. Why? So you can destroy me in person? So you can gloat? You came all the way over here to, what, break it to me gently? Okay," she turned to face him, hot tears slowly leaking from her eyes. "Just do it."
"You can't have your heart back, Liv," he said, his voice starting to crack. "Not unless you really want it. But, at least…read my letter first." He pulled another piece of paper out of his pocket, handing it to her, his hand shaking a bit. Was he actually nervous?
She took the letter from him, sniffled and wiped her eyes, and unfolded it. As her eyes drifted across the page, taking in the first few lines, she sucked in a breath and her normally large doe-eyes grew bigger.
Dear Olivia,
I know we're supposed to be writing to Santa, but since I'm now this year's lucky Kringle, I'm writing to the only person who can really give me what I want this year. You. I'm about to tell you what I've been going through for the past, oh, ten years. Yep. Ten years. Christ, Benson, do you have any idea what it's like sitting across from you over here, having the constant desire to kiss your soft lips, run my fingers through your silky hair, or hold you close when we've had a bad day? Do you know what it was like wanting to do all of that while I was married? The internal conflict that caused? Do you know how funny I thought it was that I didn't care?
Lately, though, I've found myself scared shitless. Now that I am allowed to do all of those things, I'm terrified. Having the wall, the boundary, the line I couldn't cross that kept me from you, it kept me from possibly ruining us. If I had kissed you, touched you, and you turned me away, and I screwed us up, Liv, I couldn't take it. So, I kept running back to Kathy, out of fear that if I finally allowed myself to make my move, with you, I'd lose you. That's why I still haven't. I'm still fucking petrified, out of my goddamned mind, that what I want and what you want are two different things, and I don't want to be the one that hurts you, hurts us.
Why am I writing this to you? What I want for Christmas this year, Liv, is to ask you to give me an answer, tonight, a sign of some kind, to let me know, that if I do what I've been dying to do since the moment Cragen said 'Elliot, this is your new partner,' that it will not destroy us.
Of course, if this is asking too much, there's this really nice watch at Macy's you could buy for me. I didn't check the price, but it didn't look that expensive. I love you, Liv.
El.
She looked up from the letter with more tears in her eyes, threatening to drop, and met Elliot's gaze, letting the paper fall gently to the wooden floor below. His stunning sapphire eyes were boring directly into hers, and he stepped forward, causing her breath to hitch. He took her hands in his, pulling her into him, until they were nose to nose. "I'm not giving you your heart back, Liv. I'm keeping it, if it's okay with you, but if you want, you can have mine," he said in throaty, low whisper, not trusting his voice to be even and steady if he spoke any louder. He rubbed her nose lightly with his, keeping his eyes focused on her hot-chocolate orbs, only glancing to side quickly to check the time. "It's eleven-fifty-nine, Liv, I need an answer."
Sliding her hands out of his, and up his arms, over his shoulders, she looped them around his neck. Her eyes fluttered closed and she pressed her lips to his, gently at first, pulling back for a moment before slanting her lips over his in much more forceful manner. He let his tongue trail lightly over her bottom lip, and she, obligingly, opened her mouth slightly to grant him the access he so desperately craved.
As their tongues wrestled for dominance and their teeth nibbled and bit each other's lips, their hands, seemingly working on their own, grasped, clutched, ripped, tore and pulled, leaving their clothes in a pile beneath them. They had completely lost control. They were like hungry lions that had been starving for months when someone finally threw them a steak. Olivia realized, she was completely aware, that this was happening, that they were standing in her living room in their underwear, about to sexually assault each other, but she was too far gone to stop it, and she didn't really want to.
It was Elliot who pulled away, breathing heavily, hands wrapped around Olivia's lithe body. "Holy fuck," he muttered. He looked around and he peered down at the mess of tattered clothing at his feet and chuckled. "Well, almost, anyway."
"Why?" Olivia asked, "Why are we stopping? I don't wanna stop." She placed light, soft, butterfly kisses on his chest and shuddered, shivering from the excitement, the nerves and the cold.
"Oh, we're not stopping," he assured her. "Just pausing for a second. I've just, ya know, this is," he mumbled, trying to find the right words. Finally, he looked down at her and sighed, brushing a few sweaty hairs out of her eyes. "Liv, I've waited for this moment for years. I'm not going to waste it by shagging you silly up against the wall in your living room. This," he said waving his hand back and forth between the two of them, "Should be special. Our first time should be in there, in the bed." He smiled warmly at her and kissed sweetly, tracing the defining lines of her abdominal muscles with his finger. He pulled away again, nuzzling the crook of her neck. "And with the heat on 'cause I'm fucking freezing," he said with a laugh as he picked her up in arms and carried her toward the bedroom.
She was giggling. Who knew Olivia Benson could giggle? She looked at the clock next to her bed as Elliot set her down on it and turned up the thermostat. Her face lit up. "Hey, El?"
"What, baby?"
"It's twelve-thirty."
"Yeah? So, what? We have the day off tomorrow, and Kathy's not dropping the kids off until two, so we have plenty of time to…" he turned around to face her, and he paled when he saw her bra dangling from her fingers. He gulped as he watched it drop gracefully to the floor.
"Merry Christmas," she said seductively. He pounced on her with a laugh and kissed her, slowly and terribly passionately. She pulled away, remembering that she forgot to tell him something after she read his letter. "By the way, El, I love you, too."
He grinned, the smile that made her brain curse in German, and bent his head down to kiss her, preparing for their long night of passion.
As the snow fell heavily outside, piling up on the streets of Manhattan, two people stood below Olivia Benson's window, looking up in wonderment.
"Do you think it worked?"
"Well, Stabler's car's still here, and judging by the inches of snow on it, it has been for a while, so I'm guessing it did."
"How'd you even know what she'd write in her letter?"
"Casey, I know my Baby-Girl, she opens up to me. Why do you think I told her I was Santa in the first place?"
The blonde A.D.A snaked her arm through Fin's elbow and pulled him further down the street. "Elliot really told you make Christmas babies with me?"
"Yeah, flat out thinks I'm trying to knock you up, as we speak," Fin said turning to face his fiancée.
Casey smirked at Fin, with a twinkle in her eye. "Well, you'll have to go into work on Saturday and tell them you did that on Thanksgiving."
He looked at her wide-eyed and choked a little, but smiled, then he laughed and pulled Casey into a hug and kissed her deeply. "Man, I love holidays."
A/N: I decided to end it with Fin and Casey, because you never did find out what he wanted from Santa. =) Thoughts? Thanks for reading!
