Familiar Strangers: Part 3
Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction
by The Cinderninja
Ed knew Al didn't believe him. Alfons would ask to hear more about Amestris almost every day. And he would smile and laugh, and then he would look troubled. Ed was no longer sure what Al thought of him. He thought that there was one more way he could try and prove he was telling the truth. He wasn't sure why he was so desperate for Alfons to believe him.
He had called Al into his room before bed one night, and decided to show him the automail. He wasn't used to taking off the weird, skin-like glove his father had made for it, and it was past time he did some maintenance on the limbs anyway.
Alfons watched in morbid fascination as Edward revealed the metal arm underneath, before reaching out and stopping his hand just short of touching it.
"That's a fake arm."
"Yep."
"You've got a fake arm."
"Mhmm."
"You lost your arm." That was something most people didn't realize. They saw automail and thought it was cool. They never really thought about what it meant – that you had actually had a limb there, and then lost it. Alfons couldn't stop realizing it.
"The leg's the same way." Ed explained. Theoretically, Al should already know this. Ed had told him about the false limbs when he'd told him about his and his brother's failed transmutation. He doubted Al had ever believed him though, due to his lack of belief in both alchemy and automail, making both cause and effect of his story impossible.
He rolled up a pant sleep to reveal the leg, metal exposed in the same way.
"These bits aren't as good as what I'm used to... my old stuff got wrecked and my dad had to make me these new ones. They don't really work well but they're better then anything else I could ever hope to get here, so I guess I'll get by."
Alfons didn't ask where he'd really got them. Even if he had somehow, for some reason, gone and found their father, he wouldn't have been able to make something like this. These limbs were unbelievably advanced. But the voice of the younger brother overpowered the voice of the engineer, and in the end, he simply found himself horrified by the thought of how much pain Ed must have gone through to lose two limbs.
Suddenly, things started making more sense. He'd be surprised if anyone could go through that sort of thing and not come out a bit touched in the head. And the missing limbs, really, made perfect sense. His face spoke of some horrible revelation, and Ed just knew that whatever he was realizing, it wasn't what he'd intended.
Alfons wasn't sure whether or not he should confront him. He knew Ed's stories weren't lies. Whatever Ed was saying, he truly believed it. And he was still a genius, his facts weren't made up. He could recite any number of equations, and even his... 'alchemy', Alfons had to admit, made a strange sort of scientific sense, if you looked past the fact that the entire concept behind it was nothing less than ludicrous.
All the same, he missed his brother.
This boy who refused to admit to knowing Alfons. This boy who always kept him at arms length and had a hard time really smiling at him. This boy who wouldn't call him Al, because that name was saved for a different boy, who he was just waiting to get back to. This boy who'd gone through so much pain that he'd had to get fake limbs and maybe lost a little of his mind along the way.
Sometimes Alfons had to ask himself if this was really his brother. And he always felt ashamed of himself after. Because Edward needed him, more now then ever, but every time he looked at Ed, he started to see a stranger looking back at him. It was becoming too much. He just wanted Ed to look at him like an older brother again, without this shadow looming over him. Without knowing that every time Ed looked at him, he was seeing someone else. Some other younger brother who never even really existed, and who Ed loved so much more then him. He knew he wasn't the right Alphonse – his Alphonse. And so sometimes he cried because he was missing his Ed.
And he was no doctor and he didn't know what was good or bad for someone who was convinced that they were someone they weren't and he didn't know if there was even any way for someone to get better after something like this, but he was desperate. He had gotten so, so desperate just to look at Ed and see his brother again. So he did what any scientist did, he came at his problem with irrefutable proofs.
Ed came home to find Alfons sitting on the couch with a large book and a rectangle of paper in his lap. He told Ed to come sit with him and his tone made it very clear it was a demand. Ed complied, however confused.
And he showed Edward pictures of the two of them as children. And pictures of them with their mother. And pictures of them just before Edward went off to university. And the whole time Ed was staring at the photos and looking pale. And Alfons thought that perhaps Ed was remembering something, because he looked so shocked. And Al took out the paper, which was an envelope, and opened it. And he took out a folded piece of paper, and unfolded it.
He read it to Ed. It was the letter he had received after his brother had died in an accident in London. It was very official and very emotionless, and it told him that his brother had had a most unfortunate accident with a blimp and died. Except that he wasn't dead, he was very much alive, and had two limbs less then he'd left home with, and he was confused, and Alfons missed him. He really missed him so, so much.
And Ed was staring at the letter with a pale face and wide eyes, and his mouth was open in a tiny little o, and he looked as if he had only just now realized something very, very important.
And Al hoped that maybe he'd remembered everything and that everything would be okay now. And he felt a bit guilty because that must have been something awful to go through and maybe there was a reason that Ed didn't remember it and perhaps he should have left well enough alone. But Al couldn't bring himself to really believe that, because he just wanted his brother back so bad.
And Ed was having a hard time breathing for all his shock. "Oh. Oh." And when he looked at Alfons there was a completely different sort of horror and guilt in his eyes. And he stood suddenly from the couch and walked the whole way to his room repeating "Oh no."
And Alfons was left alone on the couch, holding the letter in one hand. And Ed didn't come back out of his room for hours, and Alfons spent that time looking at the photos some more and crying a little bit. And he looked up when Ed finally did come out and he felt his heart drop. Because Ed was standing in front of him with his hands balled into tight fists and he wore a stony expression, like he couldn't bear what he was about to say any more then Alfons would be able to bear to hear it, but was making himself say it anyway because it was important and had to be said.
And he took a breath and he said "Alfons. I'm sorry. I'm sorry because your brother is gone and it's my fault." And he stood there in front of Al and didn't move. And Ed was hurt because he knew that he had hurt Alfons.
And Al looked at him as if hoping he would suddenly grin and start laughing and reveal that it had all been a joke. And when he didn't, Alfons started to cry.
And Ed couldn't move, because he was hearing his little brother cry, but he could never, ever admit that, because it would be unfair to Alfons. So he stood there and made himself listen instead.
And Alfons finally accepted that whoever this boy was, he was no longer his brother. He was just... Edward Elric.
