Three:Manhattan: Twenty One Years Old
"I feel like I could just lay my head down and go to sleep for the next week," Alec sighed stepping into Lydia's room behind her.
"I know what you mean. This trial has been killing me."
"Tell me about it," Alec replied.
Lydia dropped down at the edge of her bed and bent down to take off her shoes. "Right." She pulled off one boot with a sigh, then the other before pinching the tops of them together in one hand, and setting them neatly off to one side of the bed. "Did you and Magnus get everything squared away?"
Alec shivered at the warlock's name. Think of me when you shoot your arrows. "Yeah. Just wrapped up our discussion on payment."
Lydia nodded. "I hate to think what he charged."
Alec ruffled the hair on the back of his neck. "Uh. Nothing. In the end."
Lydia looked up in surprise. "What? His rate for consulting on that forsaken was highway robbery."
Alec shrugged. He should be as honest as he could with Lydia.
They were getting married in six days.
"That was for the Clave," Alec asked. "He told me he wanted my…" Alec quickly rethought his sentence. "He was going to take my bow and arrow in payment, but I guess he changed his mind. He likes Izzy. He gave her that necklace."
"I thought that was a Lightwood necklace?"
"I guess a Lightwood got it from him to begin with."
"Which one?"
"Well. He has a soft spot for trouble makers. I could probably go through our lineage and figure it out."
Lydia laughed. "Want to sit down?"
"Uhm. Sure," Alec replied.
There were no chairs in Lydia's room. Institute guest rooms were pretty spartan across the board, but the New York Institute didn't get a lot of guests and a few of the rooms had been denuded of their extras— chairs, mirrors, linens— to replace things that had broken or worn out in the rooms that were actually used. He perched carefully at the edge of her bed next to her.
"Everything's been such a whirlwind since I got here," Lydia said. "You and I haven't really had a chance to just be alone together."
Alec licked his lips, "Yeah. That's…" he hadn't thought about it, really. How bad should he feel about that? What should he say to her?
Before he could think of anything, Lydia kissed him.
He jumped in surprise, then hurriedly kissed her back to cover it.
Lydia pulled out of the kiss with a soft laugh. She set her palm at his collar bone and looked up at him with a smile.
"You're a good kisser."
Alec smiled back. "Yeah. You too."
She did have a really pretty smile, Alec thought. It was nice to see it.
Her smiled turned from pretty to mischievious as she scooted from the foot of the bed up to the top. She leaned back against the pillows and patted the blanket next to her.
He hadn't expected this. But the wedding was only a week away. He should follow her.
He did.
"It's nice to have a little time to ourselves, right?" She asked. "Before the wedding?"
"Yeah," Alec responded. "You were amazing up there today."
Her face split into a wider grin, and she set her hand to the side of his face and pulled him back in to a kiss.
This was kind of nice, actually.
There was something really comforting about coming home from long draining day, and being with someone like this. After today in court, the way Lydia had stood up to the Inquisitor? Alec was more convinced than ever that he'd made the right call. He could imagine a future with Lydia. Running an Institute with her. Fighting demons with her. Maybe even working to update some policies. Bring the Clave into the modern world a little bit. She'd be a good mother.
This was exactly the sort of steady, responsible engagement he'd needed.
Yeah. This was nice.
Everyone kept telling him that he didn't know what he was doing, but he did.
Izzy didn't get it. She thought you could just run around doing whatever you wanted, no matter who it hurt or how it made you look. She'd figure it out in a couple years. And his mother just wanted to control who he married. If she had picked out Lydia herself, she would think it was a perfect match.
And it was. Lydia was smart, and confident. Compassionate, poised. Amazing in battle. Kind. They shared all the same values.
And she smelled nice. And… her face was soft.
He was going to experiment. Alec turned his head to the side and when Lydia moved to follow him, he, very gently, prodded her lips with his tongue. She sighed quietly as she did the same, then set her hand over Alec's side.
This was going great.
Alec also put his hand at Lydia's side. She was soft there too. Not, like, super soft. She was a Shadowhunter, she had to be strong and fit, but… comparatively. Soft.
Lydia kissed him harder and moved closer.
Okay. She had places that were really soft, so maybe this was different than… other things he'd done. But not terrible.
This was fine.
Really, this wasn't radically different than the first night after Edward had kissed him during his summer in Idris. It was a lot different than what had happened at that mundane club a couple years ago, but that was good. He'd out grown that. He wasn't a kid anymore. He was a leader at the New York Institute. He had responsibilities and duties. And he didn't want to be the type of person that a stranger thought might suck cock in a dirty back hallway. He wanted this. A respectable partnership, with a girl he genuinely liked. He could get used to this. Like, he used to hate peas, but he ate them now.
They sank a little further down the pillows, rearranging themselves every few inches until they were lying on the bed, chest to chest. Arms around each other.
Lydia moved her arm between them, and set it as his chest again. He kind of liked that. Her hands were warm and gentle. Maybe he should do the same thing?
Her hands had been at his shoulders. His were at her waist.
He'd move them up to her chest. Yes.
He slid his hand from the outside of her full hip, over the curve of her stomach and up, then realized his mistake, stopped, and continued to kiss her with his hand just sort of… hanging out on her stomach.
Okay. So this was a little less… intuitive than it had been with Edward. A little boring. But he wasn't fifteen anymore and desperate for someone to touch him. And they weren't even doing anything yet. They were still getting to know each other. And besides, weren't girls supposed to be more reserved about sexual things?
Lydia's face fell away from his and he let his head sink down more comfortably into the pillows.
"You know," she said. "You were in Idris for the summer the same year my younger sister was."
Alec's stomach knotted. His summer in Idris was not a topic he wanted to discuss. Not right now. Not here. Not really ever.
He forced the same sort of lip bitten grin that Lydia had given before they'd moved up on the bed. "Is that so?" he asked.
"Mhmm," She replied. "And when she came home I heard all about Alexander Lightwood." Lydia laughed—and then she undid the top button of his shirt. Alec held himself completely still.
"He was so talented." Another button. "He was so tall." Another button. "He was so handsome." Another button. "No one could beat him in a fight." Another button. "No one could outshoot him." His last button.
Alec gulped as Lydia slipped her hand under his shirt and cupped her palm around his bare hip.
He should say something.
Something charming. Maybe something romantic.
Nothing about Idris.
Lydia looked at him like she expected him to reply, and when he didn't, she kissed him again. Her hand against his waist felt heavy and strange.
But it was easier to reply to than her words.
Her shirt didn't have buttons, but the hem of it was already moving up her body. He set his hand at her hip and let his fingers slide up under her shirt before settling against her really, very soft skin. Like… softer than he thought skin got.
And then things got a little out of control.
Lydia pushed his shirt back off his shoulders. Alec responded by pushing her shirt higher up her stomach. She sat up, pulled her shirt over her head and tossed it over the side of the bed, leaving her bare tot he waist except for an unembellished, pale pink bra.
Alec stared at her half bare body for a second before he started wriggling out of his shirt, finally managing to pull it off despite his shaking fingers. He threw off the edge of the bed and laid back down next to Lydia again.
And then she grabbed his belt buckle.
"Whoa," Alec managed, his hands flying to hers and clamping down much too hard.
Lydia stopped.
Across the pillow, her smile was kind. There was no judgement or expectation in it.
"Alec?" She asked. "Have you ever been with a woman?"
He gaped at her. Opened his mouth. Made sounds that were supposed to have been words and finally stuttered out a "No."
It wasn't a lie.
Lydia nodded. She cupped the side of his face, and ran her thumb over his cheek, then smiled again and rolled over. She opened the top drawer of her nightstand, fished around, and turned back.
He knew what was going to be in her hand when she turned back to him. He grit his teeth. He was not going to freak out. He was not going to think about a perfect summer day a lifetime ago. He was not going to think about the taste of melon and mint. He was not going to think about the last time this had happened. He was not going to think about a decision that had seemed so logical before he'd spent six years regretting it.
Lydia turned back to him, condom in hand, and held it between their faces.
By the Angel. It was the same brand. Same color. Everything. Exactly the same as the last time.
Do not freak out, Alec told himself. Do not react at all.
Lydia laughed, and tapped the foil against his nose. "Alec. It's okay. Relax."
She set the condom down on the pillow.
"We're a lot alike, you know. We understand the importance of family. We want to fight for good in this world," Lydia said. "I really loved my husband. I haven't been with anyone else. I hadn't really thought about it before you proposed to me. I'm nervous too."
Alec didn't trust himself to say anything worth contributing. He nodded.
"But I'm excited about the good we can do together. The lives we can have. And I'm ready," She picked the condom back up and moved her hand down the space between them. She tucked it into his hand. "Whenever you are."
Alec continued to stare at her, desperately wishing that he could think of something, anything to reply. His mouth opened, and before he could stop it, announced, "The wedding's in a week."
Lydia nodded. "Yeah. It is. And you're a traditional guy. But we can make our own rules here. I'm ready, whenever you are," she repeated. "So if that's right now, that's okay. If that's on our wedding night, that's okay. And we're still getting to know each other, if it's after the wedding, after after, that's fine too."
She fucking knows, Alec thought, stomach knotting up painfully. She's known since that day in the morgue when you got so weird about Magnus coming to the Institute and she's giving you an out.
Lydia wriggled closer to him, tucked her face against his chest, and said nothing.
You could try it, he told himself. Right now. You can pull her on top of you and try it and if it doesn't work then she'll help you think of a reason to call this all off.
And then what?
He'd be back to square one. Magnus would think it was about him, and keep chasing him. And Alec might give in. He knew it. And then he'd still have to get married to save his family name. And he'd hurt Magnus even more if he did it later. And what were the chances he'd find a girl as perfect as Lydia if he let her go now?He was doing this for a strong political alliance, he wasn't going to do better than this.
No. He couldn't get out of this. And Lydia knew that too, and she'd removed the countdown. He didn't need to figure this out in the next week anymore. She'd done that for him. That was amazing.
He could love a girl like that. In time. He knew he could. He could love Lydia. The rest would come. He'd figure it out for her.
"Thank you," he whispered.
Lydia kissed him, lightly, on the tip of the nose. They both laughed, and Alec slipped the condom into his back pocket.
"It's getting kind of late," Lydia said.
"Do you want me to go?"
"If you want to."
Alec hugged her, pulling her close to him and breathing in the light, flowery scent of her hair.
"Yeah. Okay. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah."
Alec gathered his clothes up off the floor, and got dressed quickly. He kissed Lydia good night and stepped out into the hallway, then hurried back to his room.
Six days until the wedding.
