Sorry about the delay, but I had to study for summer exams! Fuckshiza. Oh, Christ. Chapter three - Jack's POV. OK, this might not be exactly good, but try and cope if you can. Flame it if needs be... Errr...

Disclaimer: I don't own this, and I don't own TGI Friday's either. But what can you do.

CHAPTER THREE

CAPTAIN MCSEXXXXX

Jack Sparrow had been through a lot of captives, stowaways and hostages in his time.

They were usually blond or brunette with big innocent hazel eyes. They were usually hour-glass shaped. They usually came from a regal background. They usually knew how to handle a sword.

They usually were not called Koko Kurse.

Jack quite honestly did not know what to make of Koko. She was literally the most exotic thing he had ever seen in his life. She looked as if she was in about her mid teens... 15 or 16. She talked with an odd accent he'd never heard before. And her hair... well, er, that was something else. A spiky black cornucopia of colour. That seemed to be falling out.

Over ten women were crowded around him in the Faithful Bride, but Koko caught his eye as she was pulling out her own hair. All the colours of the rainbow, it was... pink, blue, green, yellow, red, purple...

And what the girl was wearing. You wouldn't even catch the most notorious strumpet in it. A tiny mesh skirt, fishnet stockings, multicoloured crocodile skin high heels and a black shirt type thing what bore the words 'Porcelain and the Tramps'. Jack had no idea what it meant either. She also wore a necklace with a skull and crossbones charm. Curious...

He was, for once in his life, at a loss for words.

"Jackie..." a blonde who was perched on his knee said, "You're so quiet tonight..."

"What? Eh?" he said, snapped out of his thoughts, "Oh... I've had a bit of a shock... I could use some more rum, though."

He smiled at the blonde and she hopped off his knee to fetch him some more alcohol.

"You alright, Koko?" he asked the girl.

"Huh?" she said in that strange accent, "Uh, yeah, I guess I'm okay."

"You fancy some rum?"

"What...?" she said, looking confused, "Umm... Is there any Bacardi?"

Jack blinked.

"I'm...not even going to bother trying to answer that," he said, "I'm gonna get you a drink. You stay there... and don't pull anymore of your hair out. It's...getting a bit frightening."

Jack pushed through the other women who followed him to the bar. He took no notice. He was used to it. There was only one or two of the crowd he'd even consider taking up to a room. It'd probably happen, Koko or no Koko.

Jack returned to the table with two rums, one of which he slid over to Koko. She eyed it suspiciously.

"Drink up, love," Jack said to her, "It'll calm you down a bit, perhaps."

Of course, Jack hadn't bought her a drink just for the sake of buying her a drink. He still wasn't sure what to think of her - as a captive, friend, enemy... He intended to get her loosened up enough so that she would tell him all he needed to know. Now, before you think that darling Jack would be in the mind of getting intimate with poor Koko - you had better stop right now. He was twice her age and about five times her mind - she knew nothing, he knew everything... This all sounds too wrong... But no. There was no chance of him getting into Koko Kurse's mesh skirt.

Case closed.

Koko took a sip of her rum and Jack could quite literally hear her shuddering. He smiled over at her.

"Welcome to the Tortuga, love."

Koko smiled nervously back.

Poor girl. Obviously didn't know what was going on. Anyway, Koko gradually got used to the taste of the rum and downed it pretty quickly. Then another. Then another. Then another, and so on... Soon enough she was tipsy enough to repell most of the women with her odd drabblings.

"Ohh maii Gawwd, Jack... like... Rawr..." she said, her arms draped around him. The blonde who'd lingered around earlier was determined to go to bed with Jack, so she hung about and pretended to be as drunk as Koko.

Jack just sat there, smiling smugly, enjoying the attention despite himself.

"You're sooo hardcore, dude... sooo fucking brootal... I mean, you're so awesome..." she said into his ear, "I mean... I totally miss home but this is pretty raaaaad... ohhhh mai gawsh..."

"Where's home?" he asked.

"I told you, dude," she said, "The fucking brootal streets of Orrrlandoooo! You gotta come there... I mean seriousss... It's so awesome..." Koko started tugging at his dreads. "I could totally fuck this up for you... I mean, extentions and some fringe... It'd be so rad... Like Jeffree Star style... xgorrrree."

"You got any mates round 'ere, Koko?" Jack asked. By now, the blonde was getting pretty bored and started sighing a lot, but Jack didn't care - he needed to probe his teenager.

"Nooo... I ain't never been here before... unless... hey," she said, tapping the blonde on the arm, "Heyy."

"What?" she asked sharply, obviously annoyed.

"You on Myspace?"

"Ughh... Fuck this!" she said and stormed off.

"Baii!" Koko waved, "Bai. Hmph. She wasn't trés gore fun, was she?"

"Nah, forget her," Jack said, "What year were you born?"

"Uhh... '92."

"What?"

"1992. I'll be..." she counted on her fingers, "sixteen in September."

"Are you telling the truth or just an elevated version of the truth?"

"Uh. The... first one."

"So... you're telling me you're from the future?"

Koko nodded. "Uh huh."

Jack just stared at her, speechless again. He couldn't believe this... she was actually from the future. There was one thing he had to ask her.

"So... am I still around in your time?"

Koko nodded vigorously, "Oh hell yeah. There's like action figures and posters of you everywhere, dude. You're pretty much famous."

Jack smiled then asked, "What's an action figure?"

"Like a doll kinda..."

"You're kind of odd, you future folk."

"I know, right? It's rad."

"Yes. Yes, I suppose it is."

The next morning Jack awoke with a horrible suprise.

He was lying there, topless, under the bed sheets... and there was Koko at the end of the bed, wide awake, her bright brown eyes staring - she was fully clothed, mind.

"Thank fucking God," she said monotonely, "I didn't know when you were gonna wake up." The girl's eyeliner was smudged around her eyes and her clothes were crumpled. She was rubbing a finger along her pink, slightly chapped lips. "You got any Chapstick?"

Jack flopped back down on the bed. "Tell me we're in a rented room. Please," he said, his voice slightly hoarse, "and not where I think we are."

"Fuck no, dood, we're back on the boat," Koko said. Jack sat up and gave her a look. Koko blinked. "Uh, sorry. Ship? The Black...thing. Bead."

"Pearl," he said, lying down again.

"Hey, hey! Don't you fuckin' go back to sleep again, dood," she said, clambering up the bed and lying beside him. She propped her head on his bare tanned shoulder.

"What happened last night?" Jack asked, feeling awkward and a little rigid at the head on his person.

"I'm suprised you don't remember and I do... Okay, so we left the bar thing -" "Tavern." "Uh, right and you dragged me back onto the ship and in here and we just started talking shit for hours basically and you took off your shirt and went to sleep and I was like, 'KTHNXBAI' and then I went to sleep and that pretty much finishes it up to here."

"Oh!" Jack said, relieved he didn't nail her without knowing, "Well, that's perfectly peachy then. I'd best get up, love. Do you mind removing your head from my person?"

Koko rolled over on the bed... a little too far, she fell right off the edge.

"FUCKIN' SHIT!" she shrieked.

"You don't have very excellent balance, do you?"

"Uh...what?"

Jack shook his head. "Never mind, love."

Jack noticed that Koko had taken to following him around everywhere - something he wasn't particularly enthusiastic about. She kept trying to tell him about some kind of organisation that she wanted to become involved in... Trashy Life, or something. He just nodded along and pretended to understand what she was talking about because he couldn't understand a word under that heavy monotone accent. Jack soon realised, to his utter disappointment, that Koko was absolutely no use to him - she didn't have any wealthy relations so that he could hold her for ransom. She didn't have any maps to treasure hidden about her person... he was sure of that. And she was, unfortunately, utterly and completely braindead stupid. Jack decided that he'd have to put up with her until he found someone else to dump her on. He hardly had a moment to himself to figure out a scheme to get some...stuff. He thought that even being around Koko had slightly retarded him.

"I mean, it's not like I really ever wanted to be Myspace famous... It was just something that kinda happened. I the reason that I get so many friends and get invites from so many vanity groups is that I'm, like, subconciously stunning... you know, like, I just don't actually know it yet. D'you get me?" she drawled at Jack as he stood behind the wheel of the Black Pearl.

"Eh, yeah, yeah, absolutely," he muttered.

"OMFG, we, like, totally connect," she said in that same irritating monotone, "Now, that's fucking brootal... So, what do you think me becoming, like, a techno star? I mean, I don't have much of a singing voice, but I guess that I could try, um, like talk-singing or something. Like, uh, rapping. You know? Because I think that I was born to be a techno star... I mean, like I got glitter in my blood. I mean, it's not like a lot of people are-"

Koko was thankfully interrupted by Gibbs, who announced to Jack, "There be a ship comin' our way on the horizon."

"Well, TFG," Jack said, whipping out his telescope and peering through it, "Ahh... crack out the brandy and the good china, Mr. Gibbs. I believe we have guests."

Alright, fair enough, short chapter. Sorry sorry sorry again about the wait, but I was working on another fic, a better one that this. I'm just going to toy about with this for a while, so don't expect any long epic chapters. Just wait for my next fic, because it WILL be good. Also, please please please check out my one-shot, Aprés Moi. It's POTC too. Okay, thankies, drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm going now bai.

ohx ohx ohx ohx ohx ohx ohx ohx ohx ohx. ohx. boo shaka laka.