A/n Just as a heads up, I'm taking so many liberties with what JK wrote that it's not even funny but in my defense if somebody else can write that Snape is gay and Harry is his underage lover then this might not be so out there...right?

The Ohhhhing and Awwwing during the feast had put Luna in a bit of a foul mood. One would think that living and going to school in what was basically was a testing ground for all things scientifically new an potentially life threatening just because they were a race of people that could not only survive a sixty foot fall from a flying 'broomstick' but that was also graced with a gland that made it possible for the alchemy potions and certain metals found in nature to react to them in an almost paranormal sort of way, would have been enough for some people but noooo. Announce that there was going to be a contest of chest thumping and teacher sanctioned cat calls of "Neener, Neener, Neerer, your school is a wiener" and her peers turned into happy rabid monkeys that couldn't dance to save their flea bitten hides.

Luna had hopes that her visit with Hagrid would help return her good cheer. So after throwing on a grey, two sizes too large, work shirt with the name SS McGurty stitched over the left pocket and tucking her wand behind her ear, she made her way across the almost vacant common room to the portrait of a large rook pooping on what looked like the Queen of England's royal coach. In passing Luna waved to the Ravenclaw House's Chaperone known by the code name The Grey Lady who was sitting by the fire reading what was more then likely a love letter if her blush was any indication. Rumour had it that she had a 'thing' going with Slytherins House's Chaperon The Bloody Baron. Luna thought it quite funny that two people, who where hired to help keep Hogwart's students hormones in check, were themselves sneaking off and snogging in dark corners while the students were in class. Ginny had told her and Colin that it was just like adults to pull that kind of stunt when they had over heard Cho and her gaggle of friends talking about it in the library. Luna countered with Ginny was just being bitter because another red-head was getting her some Slytherin action whereas as Malfoy wouldn't be touching her anytime soon as long as there was any kind of willing Slytherin female left breathing on the school grounds. Ginny responded by telling a tall gawky Hufflepuff that was passing by their table as he went to check out a book that "Luna here wants to know if you wear boxers or briefs." Commando was not an answer any of them needed to hear but sadly had.

The portrait's battery powered motion censor made it swing open when Luna approached and she crawled out of the portal barely managing to get out of the way before it snapped closed again. The Grey Lady just shrugged as she watched her go, knowing that if Luna Lovegood got into trouble she'd own up to whatever it was that she and her friend Ginny had done and leave her house chaperone out of it by claiming that she'd used her Ravenclaw cunning and logic to sneak passed her. Lovegood was good that way, making the other house chaperones envious of Serena. Especially Headless Nick who had been called to task by the teachers and Head Master many times because of students with the last name of Weasley pulling something after hours and claiming that Nick knew that they had left their House and went roaming.

On the other side of the portrait on the corridor side rook painting was now showed a Raven with its wings spread wide as it was about to launch it self into the purple sky. Unfortunately, the majestic-ness of it was ruined by the fact the bird looked down upon those that passed in front of it with a cross-eyed stare. Although, it was a better portrait then the Slytherins' corridor portrait of a snake with a weird rash that had tied itself in a painful looking knot.

Luna knew that at that time of night that halls were empty aside from the Weasley twins that were running about playing hide and seek with Filch as they went about setting up the next day's pranks and trying to avoid getting much deserved detentions and house point reductions. "You would think that they would just learn to bribe the man by now like me and Ginny do." Luna muttered to herself when she heard a suit of armour being knocked over somewhere on the floor above her. "Honestly, give him a pack of not quite bacon Kitty treats for himself and a catnip filled sock for Mrs. Norris and then boom, skulk city here they come. How hard is that to figure out?" she wondered exasperated.

After walking down one twisting corridor after another and climbing a staircase Luna finally reached the Gryffindor dorms. There she found Ginny hopping around on one foot cursing under her breath about "Cheap Arse Head Masters who refuses to get the place wired properly for electricity."

"Cracked your foot huh?" Luna asked curiously.

"Yeah, on Dean Thomas' book bag. He left it by the door and I didn't see it since Hermione is all into saving tree's and stuff so she banked the fire and wall torches early." Ginny grumbled slipping her shoe off to check the damage by the faint torch light in the corridor.

Luna found herself a bit confused, "But doesn't she know that our fires here are fuelled by dried Centaur dung and not trees?"

Ginny looked up at her friend and smirked, "Well as all knowing as she acts and as much as she reads ONE would think that wouldn't you but Ms. Granger has on major failing."

"Aside from eyeing Snape's butt every chance she gets what else is there?" Luna prompted.

"It's that she may be called one of our kind but in her heart of hearts she's a muggle through and through and will always go for the safe logical answer every time." Ginny snickered amused that she had been aware of somebody's quirk before Luna was.

"Well Gins not everybody goes out of their way voicing insane theories hoping to get chased by a torch wielding mob when they're found out to be frauds, unlike us." Luna shrugged and seeing that Ginny had put her shoe back on, headed off down the hallway.

Ginny fell into step besides her nodding her understanding, "I guess I can see that. She is one of those good girls that actually you know, cares about stuff...So promise me that if I ever because of my forced proximity to her start talking nerd speak and want to save the weird 'better to be left to their own devices' creatures like she does that you'll haul my pasty freckled butt down to the Forbidden Forest and make that survivalist militia take me in and deprogram me."

"Alright." Luna agreed readily and after a moment of thought made Ginny promise to do the same for her. Spitting in their respective hands they shook on the deal.

Afterward they walked along in silence for a good four minutes until Ginny just had to ask the question that had been bothering her since Dumbledore announced at the Welcome Back meal earlier that night, that Hogwarts was going to play host to the Tri-School tournament after a thirty some odd year ban from the school games. The look on Hermione's face had been priceless when she like everyone else in

the dining hall heard from the Head Master's own mouth while he rambled on that not only were a creature called nargles real but that Hogwarts had been under the ban for doping them and letting them loss on the opposing schools. "So, Luna just what ARE you going to do if one of those French tarts coming for the tournament is part Veela?" Ginny asked worried for her friend's mental state and the Veela's physical well being if one tried to approach Luna while their school was visiting Hogwarts.

"Be jiggered if I know." Luna shrugged, "I had thought about going to stay in the Whomping Willow until it was all over with but Dumbledore said that Sirius Black is still hiding out there from that stalker groupie of his. And you are well aware that I am not a Weir Sisters fan so I would probably smother him with a pillow the first chance I got."

"hmmm, Luna Lovegood gets life in Azkaban for murdering the Weir Sister's Lead singer and Song writer." Ginny mused aloud then shook her head, "Nope can't see it. That's to normal of a headline for the daily Prophet to run when you're finally brought down for the good of humanity. How about, "Luna Lovegood and

Ginny Weasley wanted for crimes against the stupid and setting flammable smelling gits on fire."

"Better." Luna grinned, "But what would be a more excellent headline is if it read 'Harry Potter and Ron Weasley wanted for crimes against the stupid and setting flammable smelling gits on fire'."

Ginny giggled and swatted at her friend, "Can you imagine the looks on everyone's faces if the ministry did come after them for something stupid and dangerous that we had done?"

Opening the heavy door that lead outside Luna let Ginny go through first, "Forget that. Can you imagine the looks on Fred and George's faces if they ever thought that Ron and Harry had stepped one toe out of line?" Luna countered.

"On man, they would be so jealous of Ron and Harry that they would turn shades of green not seen in nature before." Ginny said eyes wide, "And then if they ever found out that WE had actually done those things and managed to get two of the trio blamed for it...one would drop dead right there in the middle of the

Burrow kitchen, I just know he would and the other would poke him with a stick till mum hit him with her wooden spoon." The vision of that happening made Luna laugh for the first time that night.

After the heavy door closed behind the pair, identical red-haired boys peered over the lip of a huge vase that was sitting next to the door leading to the dinning hall.

"We better keep a closer eye on those two brother dear." Fred said narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah, it sounds like baby sister and her friend are getting into some good scraps and leaving us out in the cold." George replied a bit irked.

"Hmm, what is the one way we can keep an eye on them two with out being obvious?" Fred thought aloud.

"Date them like we did the Patel twins when we thought that they were in with Peeves and was getting into Filches room where he's put the things confiscated from students over the years." George shrugged.

Fred shot his twin a dry look, "You do remember that we are Ginny's older brothers right?"

"Of, course I do." George huffed, "I meant that one of us should go after Lovegood. She's not attached to anyone... at least I don't think she is. So she'll probably go all girly when whichever one of us shows and interest in her what with her being a couple of years younger and all. Plus it'll make her popular in her house for having an older boyfriend so it's a win, win. She gets popular and we get in on their plans."

Fred couldn't find fault with his twin's logic and suggested that they sneak back to the Gryffindor dorms and hammer out the particulars of the plan.

Peeves, Filtch's number one underling who was hanging by his ankles from a bungee cord tied to a high up ceiling beam, easily over heard their conversation. He smiled evilly and decided that whatever Luna put her new 'Boyfriend' through would be loads more fun to watch then the twins briefly dancing around the hall after being drenched in ice water. So he tucked his water balloons back into the bag dangling from his belt and in an impressive display of flexibility twisted his body up and pulled himself up the rope and up to the overhead rafters using only his arms. "I need to go find my camera and enlist Colin Creevy's help. "Might just get the pics published in the Daily.P's idiots of the month section if we're lucky and win the end of the year grand prize." he snickered to himself.

Outside the fog swirled around the girls' ankles as they crossed the grounds. And off in the distance faint voices could be heard coming from the Forbidden Forest. The girls strained their ears and made mental notes of the Centaur cuss words that they managed to make out. "Sounds like it must be derby night for them." Ginny mused.

Luna shrugged and looked over at the forest briefly. "Yeah sounds like. I hope Fire-Arse wins because I put a months allowance on him."

Ginny laughed aloud and covered her mouth quickly to keep them from getting caught out by her mirth, "He is going to stomp you into a mud puddle one of these days if you don't stop calling him that." she warned when she got herself under control.

"Probably will," Luna agreed, "but honestly what would YOU call a Centaur the caught his tail on fire because he was lighting his farts?"

That sent Ginny off again and it took her longer to stop the laughter because she remembered back to that day/night early on in her first year at the school, when she and Luna on one of their nightly excursions to the Quidditch field to practice their flying saw the Centaur in question running for all he was worth out of the Forbidden Forest with his tail ablaze and launch himself into the lake.

Hagrid had told them all the amusing details about how it had come about when they went to his hut the next night for their weekly tea and crumpet get together the pair had with him. Having witnessed it himself from the doorway of his cabin it inspired him with idea for cross breeding the different exotic bugs that Luna's dad went in search of and reported on in his newspaper; The Blast Ended Skrewts was the stablest of the lot and close enough to what he had been trying for so he counted his blessings and stopped being a bug pimp while he was ahead.

Helping Ginny back to her feet Luna let the still giggling girl use her for a crutch until they reached the half giant's home.

"Hello, girls." Hagrid greeted them smiling and stepped back letting them inside his hut. His large boarhound Fang lifted his head from his paws and seeing that it was just Luna and Ginny he offered them a doggie smile and went back to his nap. While Hagrid poured the tea and set out the snacks the girls made themselves comfortable in a chair big enough for them to easily share.

"Alright which one's got the better gossip?" he asked as he settled himself down in the chair opposite Ginny and Luna.

Looking at the other wearing almost the exact same questioning expression on their faces Luna wordlessly held her fist out and Ginny followed suit. After three rounds of rock, paper, scissors Luna won meaning Ginny had to go first...