Hi guys! Thanks for all the lovely reviews.
I know there have been a bunch of typos, but my MS word died and I haven't been able to get it fixed. And those things are realllll expensive to buy new, so unti lI get it fixed, please don't be too critical of the typos? I promise I'll edit all the previous chapters once I get it fixed.
Enjoy the chapter now please. :)

Chapter 3: The Perfect Drug

"I got my head but my head is unraveling
cant keep control can't keep track of where it's traveling
I got my heart but my heart's no good
you're the only one that's understood
I come along but I don't know where you're taking me
I shouldn't go but you're wrenching dragging shaking me
turn off the sun pull the stars from the sky
the more I give to you the more I die...
...
and I want you." -Nine Inch Nails


Noodle stared at the ceiling for a good long time, focasing her eyes on the bleak white, making them go blury, forcasing, and then letting them go blurry again. Her brain was playing tricks on her so she was playing tricks on it. The paranoia was getting to her, making her sweat, making her eyes wide and dark, making her heart pound in a scattered rythm she didn't recognize. Her brow beaded with sweat although she was doing nothing more than laying on her back on her bed. She had woken up in that position. In her own bed.

Alone.

Had last night been a dream? It hurt her head to think about it. Or maybe her head hurt because of the vodka? She couldn't be sure.
But she knew she had gone to see 2D last night. She remembered being in his arms, crying to him, feeling better at the sound of his voice...not having sex. But if that had happened, if she had fallen asleep in his arms, why had she woken up in her own bed, in her own room, with no 2D to be found. She shook her head. Maybe she was going crazy.

No matter how hard she tried to move, her body just wouldn't listen to her mind, it, instead, insisted on listening to the insane little voice inside that convinced her to stare until her vision was blurry again. Her mind reeled, trying in vain to sort out what had happened last night. Why couldn't she remember?


They were telling him things he should be listening to, really. Murdoc and Russel sat across from him at their table, discussing the upcoming tour dates, how much they wanted or didn't want to go to certain places, how kickass the suites they were staying in would be, how many hot chicks they were going to fuck. 2D normally would have been involved in such conversations, especially involving the places they would be going. He loved getting away from Kong for any length of time, the longer the better. He knew they were talking to him, and he was vaugely listening. Last night had not been a good one. He was torn in pieces and they didn't fit back together like a puzzle. Balling his hands into fists, he rubbed his eyes and sighed loudly. Why didn't he have anyone to talk to about what he had done? He absolutly could not tell the members of his band, especially Russel. Noodle was like his daughter, his little girl. And, Murdoc, well obviously he'd like any excuse to pound him with no boundries. 2D shivered at the thought of anyone finding out. Aburubtly, he slid his chair back and stalked off, angry at himself, at his band mates, at everything that didn't have purple hair and green eyes, really.

He reached his favorite spot in a matter of moments, ignoring the insults and anrgy yelling coming from the two men as he abandoned the conversation without contributing a word. He was so pissed off, even the elevator made him grind his teeth. When he did eventually reach the roof, he dug through his pocket, pulled out a pack of cigarrettes, and reached for a lighter. While he was searching, thoughts of last night crowded his memory. He could understand everything that had happened, with the exception of his reasoning behind getting up early and carrying Noodle to her own bed. He had not wanted her to wake up with him...and he could not figure out why. There was just something about the whole thing that bothered him immensely. Maybe, he thought, it would be better if she didn't rememer coming to his room, she had been pretty drunk, he figured she would be less confused if she had ended up in her own bed.

"Bloody 'ell" he swore, realizing he had left his lighter in his room. Instead of punching something until his hands bled like he had wanted to, 2D just sighed, defeated, and sat down dangling his legs off the ledge and closed his eyes. He wished things were so different; for him, for Noodle. He pitied her more than himself. He had known better...

As he left his mind to wander some more, to wallow in self pity, he heard something that he had been missing. There was a quiet melody coming from somewhere. From where he was sitting, he could recognize it as the Deftones. He reasoned it could only be Noodle, knowing they were the only two who enjoyed listening to that particular band. For a split second he was excited and proud of the young girl. He credited himself for her good taste in music.

The blue-haired man stood up and looked around for where the girl might be at. He wondered how she wasn't aware that he was up there with her. He found her around a corner laying on her back, one leg proped up on her bent knee, smoking a joint, nodding her head to the music and blowing smoke slowly. She was wearing a purple jacket, jeans, and what looked like a Daft Punk tee. He couldn't help but observe that she was the definition of his perfect girl; mentally and physically. He watched her breathe the smoke in deeply, hold her breath for a few seconds and then release slowly, closing her eyes. He watched her until the whole joint was gone, feeling like he couldn't move. Only after she continued to stare into space did he walk over and take a seat next to her. It wasn't even a particularly nice day, actually it looked like it could rain at any moment, which made 2D's hair stand on end. It was one of those days when you're afraid to touch anything for fear or breaking it and when everything seemed much more intense than it actually was.

Noodle looked over at him, not completely shocked that her alone time had been interrupted. Neither really knew how to start a conversation, so 2D pulled out a ciggarette which made Noodle offer her lighter. He lit it and took a long drag, letting it linger in his lungs. He handed it to Noodle and watched her take a drag, inhale, and blow the smoke on the end of it. She ashed and took another drag before handing it back. In the background, the music droned on and on, ignored. Between them, electricity threatened to strike at any moment. The air was thick and muggy. They both knew what was going to happen without words, they both could feel it coming. They shared the same feelings of guilt, shame, even passion. No words had to come between the two to express the understanding of how deep they had gotten themselves.

Noodle wasn't even sure what she was feeling. Her mind was constantly second-guessing itself. She was tormented by never knowing what had happened and what was real. She delt with it the only way she knew how, to not ever tell anyone, to comfort herself by getting high and floating along through life.

2D was so angry at everything; his anger turned into frustration, and then depression. He had a strange feeling that Noodle was the same way and had no idea how to handle the situation. He was old enough to understand his feelings for her, she was not. He was mature enough to realize the problems with being with her, she could not. But, even with all that said, he was only human, and humans are flawed. 2D was flawed. And he was in love with a 17-year-old girl; which would have been bad enough to allow himself to accept without knowing that physically acting on his feelings had been a horrible mistake...without knowing that he would make that same mistake again in a heartbeat.

The song changed, Digital Bath now blared into the air. 2D looked at Noodle, and she looked back. There was nothing that could have prevented what must have been fate. He leaned over her, resting on an elbo and grabbed her chin with his free hand. He tilted her face up, looked into her eyes, seemingly into her soul, and moved his lips over hers. She responded eagerly, pulling him completely on top of her. They started roughly making out, pulling at clothes until she was in her panties and he was in only jeans. Suddenly, it started pouring, the pair were covered by a small awning, protecting the radio and their clothes, but as they rolled around, entangled in passion, they ended up under the rain. Neither seemed to notice as the rain mixed with sweat and moans while 2D made love to her, doing everything to make up for the first time. The only words spoken were half-sylables of each name, followed by something that was four letters long. He rolled Noodle on top of him and savored the sight of her young wet body infront of a background of black clouds and random flashes of lightning. They stayed that way for atleast an hour, their passion fueling them, blanketed by the rain, their moans muted by the thunder, and when it was done, they used each other for warmth under the awning, still kissing and caressing until both were too tired to move anymore. Still neither of them spoke, and that's how it started.


The combination of anger and confusion for the two fueled their love making. Neither of them knew what to say, so when something was wrong, they expressed it with sex. Noodle knew on some level how they were dealing with their situation, but 2D knew fully and that made him loose sleep at night. When he would start feeling guilty about sleeping with her, 2D would seek out the small girl and try to prove to her that it was more than sex. He was only semi-aware that he was also trying to prove it to himself. It was like a drug, making love with Noodle, something he shouldn't do, but something he needed. No solution solved all the problems, and that made him want to punch something until it broke, scream until he was hoarse, or slit his wrists, depending on the day. Of course he never did these things, for obvious reasons. Instead, he just wrapped his arms around the small girl and did his damndest to make her feel good, if only for a few minutes. How they managed to sneak around Russel and Murdoc, neither of them understood, but they were both sure the two had no idea as to what went on in 2D's room 4 or 5 times a week.

2D took into account that not all the consequensces were bad; Noodle had told him that she had stopped drinking excessively, no more shrooms, and she seemed happier...at times.
However, from a realistic standpoint, not everything was picture perfect; the two had begun to shut out the other members of their band, relying solely on each other as an escape from their hectic lives. Strangely, while 2D felt himself growing closer and closer to the girl, Noodle remained trapped in her own mind, confused at what was going on. She didn't tell her lover about these feelings...and its not like she couldn't have, she knew he would have listened. It was just so much easier to rip off clothes and forget about things for an hour than to try and figure out how she was feeling.

What she had told 2D had not been a lie, she had mostly stopped abusing difference substances...mostly. She did, however, realize that she was replacing them with him to some extent. They gave her the same feeling. It was eerily comparable to a junkie who was at the point of needing help, knowing they were at that point, but not being able to face it. In her mind was a constant battle; on so many complex levels it was right and wrong, emotionally damaging but so, so satisfing, taboo and delicious. And she loved him. She did.

On one particular day, which held no meaning to either of the two, Noodle moaned ontop of 2D for a while before collapsing onto him as he groaned and shivered at his own orgasm. As they both lay panting, completely spent, the singer began to play with the young girl's hair loosing himself in the feeling of contentment. He lay with his eyes closed, twirling and twirling, still inside of her. In moments like these, 2D would have an overpowering urge to stare into her eyes and open himself up entirely. It was probably just his laid-back artistic nature that made him treasure moments like these, the storybook romance riddled with passion and danger and broken rules; a storybook he hoped had a happy ending. Deep down, though, he knew this could only go on for so long, and when that end did come, he knew Noodle would be the one to cause it. That's just the way these things worked, and he was resigned to the fact that this was, for whatever sad pathetic reason, the most important love of his life; and it didn't even have a chance.

"2D-san, what goes on in that head of yours all the time?"

He opened his eyes slowly, as if it hurt to be torn from his thoughts, and offered her a crooked grin, the one that she so loved.
"Nofink goes on in me 'ead. I jus like bein 'ere with you."

"I was thinking the other day..."she trailed off, testing the subject. When he didn't say anything for a moment, she continued, "about how you always sound so...melencholy. Why do you like that word so much, 2D-san? Why are you sad so much?"

He thought a moment. It wasn't that he was sad, just...well, nothing really. Half of the time he had known her, he had been so messed up on pain killers that he couldn't have been himself. They became such a habit that he had just adopted his personality to be that way all of the time. As for how to answer Noodle's question, he just sighed.

"I love ya, y'know that, right, Love?"

Now it was Noodle's turn to think about the question. It irked her that he hadn't answered her question, but that look on his face told her that answering that question was not going to happen. It also irked her that he was always telling her these things, about how he loved her and how she was perfect and beautiful and how he would do anything for her. She didn't want to hear that, she didn't want to get into it so deep that he couldn't leave her. In some ways, she felt powerful and in charge and wonderfully feminin, especially when she could look at him with that special smile during band practices and watch his whole expression change; that same look that put him at her mercy in bed. At some level, she felt cruel, like the fact that their affair could only last for so long was a secret only she knew. She sighed.

"Lil'love?"

"Hai." she muttered, closing her eyes and rolling onto her side to cuddle with him. Simultaniously, they sighed; 2D's one of contentment, Noodle's riddled with depression.

"take me with you
without you everything just falls apart
it's not as much fun to pick up the pieces"


So, I hope you liked this chapter, so far, I think it may be my favorite...? Maybe.
As always, reviews are welcome and wonderful!

-loli