Odd One Out – Chapter 3

[gallowCalibrator has begun trolling turntechGodhead]

GC: H3Y COOLK1D!

TG: sup

GC: NOT MUCH 4CTU4LLY

GC: 1 THOUGHT 1 WOULD JUST CH3CK 1N ON MY F4VOUR1T3 H3RO

TG: thats great but i am kind of busy and all

TG: trying to pull this fucking sword out of this fucking piece of rock

TG: piece of shit

TG: it is the sword in the stone all up in here and i am fucking king arthur here to make shit happen

TG: that is

TG: if it would fucking come out

TG: which its not

GC: H4V3 YOU TR13D PUSH1NG 1T?

TG: no

TG: should i

GC: 1 DONT KNOW! H3H3H3

TG: …

TG: nothing happened

GC: NO 1 SUPPOS3 1T D1DNT! H3H3H3

TG: so you really didnt know

GC: NO 1 D1DNT!

GC: NOT 4T 4LL

GC: NOT 4LL OF US 4LW4YS S4Y TH3 OPPOS1T3 OF WH4T TH3Y M34N!

TG: helpful

TG: actually helpful

TG: full of help

TG: this isnt sarcasm by the way thats actually kind of refreshing

TG: especially after talking to rose

TG: this is a breath of spring fucking air

TG: i can smell the gogdamn flowers and porcupines and butterflies just all in my nostrils having a big refreshing party

GC: WH4T 4R3

GC: 4LL OF THOS3 TH1NGS 4CTU4LLY

GC: 4S1D3 FROM FLOW3RS

GC: 4SSUM3DLY TH4T 1S YOUR WORD FOR ST3NCHBLOSSOM

GC: 1T 1S 4 S1LLY WORD BY TH3 W4Y!

TG: uh

TG: never mind it doesnt matter you dont need to know

TG: ill just keep wasting awesome poetry on you and you will just never know

GC: TH4T W4S PO3TRY?

TG: no

GC: S33 TH1S 1S WH4T 1 M34N!

GC: M4YB3 1NST34D OF PR3T3ND1NG 3V3RY D4Y 1S OPPOS1T3 D4Y

GC: YOU SHOULD 4CTU4LLY S4Y WH4T YOU M34N ONC3 1N 4 WH1L3!

TG: why would i do that

TG: people have come to expect a certain level of cool irony from me and i hate to disappoint by suddenly being all honest

TG: what kind of world would that be

TG: pigs would fly and sheep would shit gold bricks

GC: OH SO L1K3 W1NG3D PORKB34STS?

TG: do you actually have those

GC: NO 1 W4S LY1NG

GC: 1 W4S B31NG L1K3 YOU

GC: 4M 1 COOL Y3T

TG: so fucking cool youll need a blowtorch just to scratch the surface

GC: H3H3H3 TH4NK YOU

GC: 4NYW4Y

GC: H4V3 YOU T4LK3D TO K4RK4T L4T3LY?

TG: who is that

TG: he sounds like an asshole

GC: HM W3LL Y3S H3H3H3

GC: H3 1S 4 FUNNY L1TTL3 NUBBY!

TG: that sounded kind of sexual

GC: WH4T 1S S3XU4L?

TG: ugh

TG: no

TG: im not falling for that again

GC: H3H3H3

TG: look im just going to go back to trying to pull out this fucking sword okay

GC: OK4Y H3RO! DO YOUR B3ST!

TG: im not a hero but okay sure yeah

GC: 1 W1LL CH3CK 1N 4G41N L4T3R!

TG: okay whatever

[gallowsCalibrator has ceased trolling turntechGodhead]

TG …

TG: fuck i broke it