"I'll talk to Judge Miller in the morning and I'm sure now there's enough evidence to obtain a warrant for their home and offices. I'll also make sure the warrant includes their financial details."
Liv gave a mental eye roll when Barba emphasized the word 'now.' Truth be told, she barely brought him additional information. The only change? She merely presented it in a different way.
She exchanged an all knowing glance with Carisi.
"We appreciate that counselor." Liv took a step towards the door and then turned to Carisi, "I'll catch up with you back at the house, I need to discuss another case with Barba."
Barba was standing at the table, flipping through papers, trying to look busy. Bracing himself for the inevitable. There was no other case. She knew something and he wasn't sure he was ready to explain. Damn her!
Liv nudged him with her arm, "you want to explain yesterday?"
Here it comes…
He shrugged, "Not sure what you're talking about, like I said yesterday, I needed more evidence to take to the judge."
He didn't dare make eye contact. He continued to shuffle his papers, but he sensed she wasn't buying it and he was right.
She reached out and gently rubbed his back, "Rafa, it's me. Something is wrong. I know you, or at least I thought I did. Please talk to me."
His body stiffened at her touch. Not because it was unwanted, but because his emotions were raw. His nerve endings were on fire.
His resolve was weakening. She did that to him. So many bad memories. So much pain and yet there was this woman standing before him, willing to take it all away. Just maybe…
She dipped her head and tried to make eye contact, "You know you can always talk to me. No judgement."
Other than her therapist, no one knew how much she cared about Rafael. At times her body ached for him and when he was in pain she could feel it.
He ran his hand through his hair, closed the door and then collapsed onto his sofa.
"I'm sorry about yesterday. I was an ass. You're right; I could have taken what you had given me to the judge."
On a professional level Rafael Barba rarely apologized for his actions, but with her? He needed to be open with Olivia Benson. She had this knack of chipping away at the walls he had spent so many years building.
"Tell me something," he asked, "why did you invite Lieutenant Thomson to the precinct?
She wondered, since when does Barba question her motives on obtaining information from other agencies?
Her guard was up.
"In all honesty, it wasn't me. Rollins & Carisi were working the case and discovered a connection to a similar string of crimes in New Jersey. They ran it by me and were scheduled to drive over to New Jersey, but Lieutenant Thomson had personal business in the city and said she'd come here."
Barba slowly nodded, "she has family in the Bronx."
Liv raised a questioning eyebrow.
"Ok Rafa, clearly you two know each other, and you're on a first name basis…"
Barba could only nod; his mind was once again drifting…
He was upset. Tears streaming down his cheeks. He was holding a woman's hand. Pleading with her not to leave.
Liv reached out and touched his arm, "Rafa, please tell me what's wrong? It's clearly bothering you."
Barba looked down at his hands. Her fingers were now intertwined with his. Her thumb gently rubbing circles round and round.
He finally began to speak, "Linda and I grew up together. She was always one of the guys. I never thought much about her, even though we were inseparable. There was something about her that drew me to her. She had this energy. Some would argue a reckless energy.
He stood and began pacing his office.
"I was out of law school and working for the Brooklyn DA's office. Linda had just finished with the academy and we happened to run into each other one weekend. There was an instant spark. We were young and couldn't get enough of each other. We'd work all day and party all night."
Liv's eyes opened wide, 'party all night?'
"It began to affect our jobs. She'd call in sick to work and I would show up late to court, hungover and wreaking of alcohol."
At that moment Liv saw Barba's world begin to crumble and she rushed to comfort him. She had never seen him so vulnerable.
She caught him as his knees began to buckle, "Rafa, it's ok; everything is going to be ok."
She hugged him tightly. She felt his muscles contract and slowly relax.
He relaxed and gave into her. He breathed her in as he buried his nose into her hair. They stood there wrapped up in each other.
Liv rubbed her fingers tips up and down the nape of his neck, "Rafa, we were all young once. We've all done things we're not proud of, myself included."
Truth be told, Barba didn't want to let go of Liv. It felt so right. He was intoxicated by her smell and the way her body felt against his. If he had the power to stop time he would have right at that moment.
He reluctantly let go of her and stepped to the window and looked down at the bustling street below.
"I hear what you're saying, it's hard to explain. Linda was like a drug, I couldn't get enough of her. But sometimes two people aren't meant to be together…"
It was early evening and Linda stopped by to see Rafael, hoping to talk some sense into him. She paused momentarily at his secretary's desk, but she was nowhere to be found. Linda was about ready to knock on Rafael's door when she heard muffled voices coming from within his office. She peered through the open crack and saw Rafael and Lieutenant Benson holding each other. It was almost as if they were slow dancing. For a moment she felt a twinge of jealousy, but she quickly buried it and sighed softly. 'Maybe he could be happy…'
