A/N: First of all, I want to thank everyone who reviewed the last two chapters, and put my story on alerts and faves. You are wonderful. Sorry that it's been a while since the last update…life has definitely gotten in the way of getting this story out. But, chapter 4 is already in the works, so it won't be a month before I update again, this time.

I want to thank a few people before we get on with the story. First, to the most (excuse my language) fuck awesome Beta a girl could ask for, larin20…thank you so much. Like I said, when I can't find the words, you can. You're awesome for that.

To all my BFFF'ers, thank you for being so cool and supportive. It really is a kick ass community that's set up over there on Facebook, so every one of you guys should check it out. Link is on my profile.

Thanks to my mom, who still says I shouldn't curse so much in my writing. Sorry, ma. And I hope she loses interest by the time I get to the lemony goodness of this fic. Oh, yeah…and there will be. That could be a little awkward. ;)

Stephenie Meyers owns all the characters, I just make them want to kill themselves.

On with the story.


EPOV

The next three hours were torture.

I kept my eyes closed, and continued to hold Bella in my arms. I would open my eyes every few minutes to see if her demeanor had changed, but it hadn't. The last time I checked, she had her warm face pressed against my chest, eyes closed. She was asleep.

A million different scenarios ran through my mind as I lay with her, holding her tightly. Essentially, she had shut her mind down. She wouldn't respond to me. The terror in her eyes was apparent. Her mind was protecting herself from something, but what? It didn't make any sense. There was still hope that Charlie would make it. We had to believe that. It was like she had already pronounced him dead in her mind. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I've never seen anyone react this way.

What the hell was I supposed to do? If I call the doctors in here, they'll rip her away from me, and that might scare her. And I don't think I could stand to be apart from her at this point anyway, not until I know she's ok. Besides, it's nothing physical, I was sure of it. At least, that's what I thought. But she was so strikingly beautiful, it almost hurt to not look at her, and want her. This wasn't about me though. I kicked myself for actually thinking about anything sexual concerning this fragile beauty and the fact that this was most certainly not the time nor place.

She'd begun to withdraw when the doctor was talking about Charlie. Maybe she was reliving the memories of her mother in her mind. That's one thing I knew with certainty that we had in common. We had both seen a parent die, right in front of us. Even though my situation was much more violent, I knew exactly how she felt.

I'd known that Bella was there when her mother died. Charlie had told me one night while we were working a late shift together down at the station. He said that he didn't think she'd ever get over watching her mother take her final breath. He told me that he never agreed with Bella's decision to move to Jacksonville, but Bella was insistent. She had told him that she'd always felt like the parent and Renee the child, and he assumed that she felt this odd responsibility toward her. It always made Charlie sad that Bella really never had a normal childhood due to her mother's flighty ways.

I remember thinking that I had no idea how close Bella was to Charlie until that moment.

The memory of that conversation with Charlie was etched in my mind, because it was the first time I'd ever seen the man cry. The love he had for Bella radiated around him like a bright light; you could see it through the gleam in his dark brown eyes as he spoke of her. When he realized he couldn't be there to help her, he lost it. He cried, tears unabashedly running down his face. I did the only thing I could at the time for him. I consoled him, much like I was doing now for Bella. The feelings albeit much stronger now. I still couldn't explain it why I felt so obligated to this woman. I was so connected already and it was the first time I'd met her. Seeing her quiver in my arms didn't help deter the raw feelings that I spent so long trying to repress. Charlie's grief was different, though.

Seeing Charlie unravel like that was upsetting, to put it mildly. I listened and provided that proverbial shoulder to cry on. When he had finished, we did the manliest thing we could think of to validate ourselves, since by the end of it I was sobbing, too. We sat back in the hard wooden chairs at the station and watched the Mariner's game on TV, waiting for dispatch to notify us of the next call. If we weren't on duty, we'd be sitting on Charlie's old couch watching it on the flat screen with beers in hand. It came to be a ritual for us early on. Emmett would join us every now and then, but mostly it was Charlie and I.

Thinking back to that day, I remember not knowing what to say to Charlie at his most vulnerable point. He had always been there for me in my grief about my parents. He was the only one I ever told about the debilitating nightmares that haunted me at night. It was oddly comforting to share those things with Charlie, because he rarely showed his emotions. But he always had a comforting presence about him. That's part of the reason why, when the Brown's put their house up for sale, I bought it. It was conveniently next door to Charlie and I didn't hesitate at my decision, either. I wasn't worried about the money of what kind of work I had to put into the house. My parents afforded me with enough money through my inheritance.

Carlisle, my father, was a cardio-thoracic surgeon in Seattle, and my mother Esme had a highly lucrative business as a wedding planner. They had left the three of us, Emmett Alice and I, more than enough money to ensure that we'd be taken care of if something happened to them.

God, how I missed them. It never seems to get easier, like everyone said it would. Every year the hole in my heart would seemingly grow, and nighttime would make it infinitely worse. I would close my eyes at night, and see their faces as if I was looking at a photo album. Slide after slide of endless snapshots of the two of them would appear in my mind's eye as I'd drift to sleep. In each photo they would look at each other as if there were no one else on the planet. I've yet to see two people that loved each other as much.

Then slowly the flashes of my loving parents would transcend into the horrifying images of the last time I saw them. The once strong form of my father, slumped over in the driver's seat of his black Mercedes; one arm wrapped around my mother's tiny frame protectively, and the other reaching toward me in the back seat. My mother embraced my dad as if she were sleeping. She didn't even have time to react. The blood. The bright red blood of my loving, devoted mother and father, splattered throughout the light tan interior like a fucking horror flick.

Each night, I would jump out of the nightmare covered in sweat. The images burned in my mind. The nightmares still came to me almost every night, even after ten years. I'd given up on believing I would ever get a peaceful night's sleep again. I'd learned to accept that the bad dreams owned me. I never even told anyone about the dreams, except for Charlie. Emmett and Alice would never understand.

They weren't there.

When I accepted the job here in Forks, Alice and Emmett willingly came with me, for which I was grateful. We bought a modest home on the outskirts of town, where we could all stay together. Though it may have been understood that we'd always remain together, after being in Forks for about three years, things began to change. Alice had met Jasper a few years ago through a mutual friend, and they had been pretty much inseparable since.

To hear her tell it, their meeting was straight out of some crappy ass romance novel. Love at first sight, and all that. I never believed in all that shit, but I was genuinely happy for her. I mean, you didn't have to be in the same room with the two of them for very long to see how in love they were. It only rivaled the love our parents had shared when they were alive. I was happy for her, really. Part of me was strangely envious. I didn't see anything like that ever happening to me. I'd been with my share of women, but it had never been more than a means to an end, a momentary itch that needed scratching. Women were a release; not anything more than that. And after mom and dad died, I pretty much lost all interest in that shit altogether. I just wanted to be alone. But seeing Jasper and Alice and the love they shared made me feel even lonelier at times, if that were possible.

So I saw my moving out it as an opportunity to start over; to be close to my siblings, but have my own space to breathe and be alone. Alice would be married next year and move on to start her family. Emmett would eventually want to settle down as well. They certainly didn't need their whacked out brother invading their space anymore. I would still be close to look after them, but they needed to move on with their lives, finally.

I admit that part of me thought the nightmares would end when I moved out. But they never did. The same terror visits me every night as it did when I was fifteen. I got a small reprieve every now and then, with whatever blonde happened to share my bed for a few hours.

My mind wandered again to the sleeping girl next to me. Definitely not like any woman I have laid next to, I thought. She was more real to me now than any other woman I had met. She didn't need to impress me with charm and charisma, she just was. I never felt so harpooned with desire to protect someone so much. The more I thought about Bella, the more my heart ached for her. She didn't deserve this. I wondered if I would ever see this girl smile, to see actual joy in her eyes when I looked into them. Well, that was assuming a lot. Assuming that I would be in her life, in any capacity.

Did I want to be in her life?

I'm not naïve. I know nothing about this girl. What her favorite color is, what books she likes to read, if she likes Italian food? Any of the silly mundane things people learn about each other in the beginning. More importantly, I didn't know for sure if she felt the connection, the pull towards me that I do her. And what the fuck is that about, anyway? Granted, I'd had sexual relationships with my fair share of women in the past, but I've never even harbored the thought of having any kind of real connection to any of them. I've never felt anything like this before for anyone, especially someone I'd just met. It excited, and scared the hell out of me at the same time.

Then, as I looked down to watch Bella as she slept, I began to realize something. I was way too involved. This would only serve to bite me in the ass in the end. As much as I cherished my closeness with Charlie, I suddenly, and briefly, wished I'd never met him either…so that I wouldn't have to survive another loss if he died.

The cold hard fact was that I was becoming too invested in his daughter. Though the odds were that she would live a long life, unlike my parents, she would surely leave just the same. I couldn't find one good reason for her to form any kind of connection to me. I was messed up. Broken. The nightmares of my parents' tragic end would no doubt haunt me for the rest of my life. There was no escaping that fact. Bella deserved someone whole, who was free of demons and ghosts. Someone who could give her the things in life that I couldn't. I couldn't be the things Charlie would want for his daughter. My idiotic fantasies about chocolate eyes and porcelain skin and a soul that was so pure and gentle would be only marred by my presence in her life. Though I had just met her, and didn't understand the pull I had toward her, I could see myself falling for this girl if I didn't stop it now.

I was at a loss. I didn't want anything to happen to Bella, but I knew if I didn't start detaching myself from this situation, it would only end in disaster. I finally realized that I couldn't do this alone.

I knew what I had to do.

I pulled out my cell phone from my pants pocket carefully, so as not to wake Bella. I scrolled down my list of contacts and hit the send button. It only took one ring.

"Edward? Are you okay?" the tiny frantic voice answered.

"Alice…I need your help."

BPOV

Darkness.

You can feel it begin to creep into your mind, like a slow poison traveling through your veins. You're unable to stop it from happening, yet you're completely aware as it takes over. It starts at your limbs, makes its way through your body slowly, until you have no control anymore.

It began the moment the doctor stepped into the room to tell Edward and I of my father's condition. I could feel it coming- the slow, agonizing darkness that kept me from speaking. I can vaguely recall the conversation; my mind already losing itself to the darkness. The depths of which I felt like I had no control of how far it would pull me into.

Then I could feel the strong arms around me as I drifted further, Edward's calming presence surrounding me like a warm blanket. But I still couldn't find the words to calm the panic in his voice as it drifted farther away. I was helpless.

I finally found the strength to close my eyes, and drifted further into the frightening darkness. The quiet whisper of a velvety voice was the last thing I remember before I surrendered. It was his voice I clung to, before I let myself drown into blackness. His voice was what I was hoping would be my life preserver. I only wished I knew if I was right or wrong.

Stay here. Stay with me.


It was an unusually sunny day in my meadow, as the white clouds traveled quickly across the sky. The wind flowed gently through my hair, sending chills down my spine.

I was in my usual spot, underneath the Maple tree where I last saw my faceless man. The mesmerizing angel that held me as I cried, whispering words of peace and comfort as he held me. Except I was alone this time, and though I could feel the ominous presence of the darkness nearby, I lay under my tree, content for the moment.

I looked down to find myself reading my tattered version of Romeo and Juliet. Turning to the page where I found my favorite lines of the tragic play, I got lost in the words like I have done so many times before.

For thou wilt lie upon the wings of night

Whiter than new snow on a raven's back.

Come, gentle night, come, loving, black-brow'd night,

Give me my Romeo; and, when I shall die,

Take him and cut him out in little stars,

And he will make the face of heaven so fine

That all the world will be in love with night

And pay no worship to the garish sun.

I was so entranced in the tragedy that I almost didn't hear the footsteps approaching. My head spun around to look behind me, and I felt it. The strangest current of electricity flowed through me as my eyes searched for the visitor in my dream, but seeing nothing.

But I felt it. Felt him.

My faceless man emerged from the brush, gliding gracefully to where I sat perched underneath my tree. Hoping I would finally see him, I looked up expectant.

The strong familiar arms of my protector reached out for me as I dared to look at his face.

All I saw was a blur of color. The realization that I still couldn't see his face confused me.

I could make out the strong outline of his jaw, the broadness of his shoulders as he extended a hand toward me, willing me to stand. But when I looked to where his eyes should be…nothing but blurs of color. I joined my hand with his, feeling the instant spark and rush associated with merely touching him. I sighed a breath of relief that I felt the instant comfort I so longed for. It made me feel whole again and unbroken.

I was no longer alone.

"Bella."

His velvety voice surrounded me, comforting me, until I crushed my body into his desperately. I held onto him as my life depended on his touch. My hands and fingers held so tight onto his shirt; I could make out the wrinkles I left in their wake. I wasn't letting go. He touched me delicately with an angel's care. His soft hands caressed the outline of my jaw, and if I could see his face, I would know that he was looking straight into my eyes.

What I wouldn't give to see his face.

The same blurred mystical face that now slowly inched closer to mine. His warm breath fanned my face, making me dizzy with anticipation. My breathing ragged and my heart pounded out of my chest, because my body had this reaction to him. It was uncontrollable and I was a slave to the feeling. I closed my eyes, as I felt his warm lips softly press against mine. Heaven.

Our lips moved together, slowly and languidly caressing each other. I felt the familiar tingle in the pit of my stomach as I effortlessly danced my lips in time with his. His tongue lined my lower lip as he traced the curves of my mouth. He sighed as his lips parted and I tasted my angel for the first time.

It was beyond anything I'd ever experienced before. He tasted heavenly, like cinnamon and sugar and man. I pulled our bodies even closer together. We continued this way for what seemed like forever. When our lips reluctantly parted, my entire body ached. I still couldn't see his face, but at the moment I couldn't bring myself to care. He took a deep breath and pulled away, sweeping a stray lock of my hair behind my ear. It was such an intimate gesture, and no one had ever been this…loving…with me before.

It was perfect.

I continued to stare into the blur of colors that would be his face. I silently willed the picture to clear up so that I could finally see him. It never did.

But I stared anyway, breathless and desperate.

Then he wrapped his strong arms around me, while whispering to me softly.

"Bella."

His thumbs slowly grazed the side of my face and I felt my head lean into his touch. I simply nodded in response. I was still reeling from the best kiss I'd ever experienced, and I didn't want to take the chance of muttering something ridiculous. I always seemed to do that in situations like this.

"It's time, sweetheart. I have to go now."

The mere thought of him leaving me sent a wave of panic through my body that I couldn't contain. Why? Why is he leaving me now? Panic started to set in, and I couldn't control the faint shuddering of my shoulders that I tried helplessly to suppress.

"Don't go," I said, my voice shaky. "Don't leave me here. Please."

I started breathing erratically now, as I grabbed hold of his strong arms and held tightly. I felt a tear slide down my face as I heard him take a deep breath again.

"I have to go, Bella. You need to do this. There's no other way. But I will always be close behind, if you need me. Always."

With those words, he gingerly took the sides of my face, cradling my soft cheeks, and led me into his warm lips again. I closed my eyes to savor the feeling of his presence around me, this man I didn't know, but felt so real within the confines of this dream. He pulled away from me softly, and I opened my eyes.

He was gone.

Not only had he truly left me here, but I also realized that I wasn't even in my meadow anymore.

Panic set in further as I wondered where my faceless man was, why he left me…and where am I now?

As I took in my surroundings, I realized that I was in a very familiar place. It was First Beach, at La Push. My dad used to bring me here all the time when I was a kid. The memories Charlie and I made here took over, the familiar scent of the beach invaded my senses as I walked. There are so many memories of my childhood here. Fishing, playing in the sand, the bonfires at the Blacks' house. Charlie's best friend Billy Black lived here on the reservation, and Charlie and I spent a lot of time here after Renee left. I think he tried to give me as normal of a childhood as possible after she left us. I would always be grateful for that.

I slowly walked along the sandy beach, reliving all the happy memories of my childhood, and wondering what my faceless angel was talking about. What was it time for? What did I have to do?

Then a dark figure appeared from across the shoreline. It was too dark to make out who it was. As I inched closer, it dawned on me what my angel meant by what he told me. Not only did I realize what I was here for, but I remembered what was waiting for me whenever I did wake up from this surreal fantasy. It was all becoming very clear in my mind what I was here to do.

It was time to say goodbye to my father.

The figure made its way to where I stood. Before I knew what was happening, the beach transformed itself into a large playground. It wasn't just any playground, but one of my favorite places from my childhood. The familiar surroundings of the playground across the street from our house filled my ears and eyes with vivid pictures. I sat a picnic table feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. I remember thinking that I'd never had a dream this surreal before.

Charlie walked up looking dignified, dressed in his old police uniform. His hair looked a bit messy, like he had been running his hands through it all day. The tears ran down my face steadily down to my lap as I sat there, staring at my father. He sat on the bench next to me. I was frozen in my spot on the bench not knowing what to do. My mouth hung open but no words wanted to make their way past my lips. For every reason I could think of- I wanted to prolong this conversation. Charlie, being Charlie, noticed and just smirked knowing he had to be just as strong for me and for us.

"Hiya, kid." He said stoically, brushing his hand across my cheek.

I leaped into my father, my arms wrapping tightly around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist, enveloping me in his embrace. It felt like home and it felt safe as I sat on his lap, like many times before in my childhood. I hugged my forehead into his shoulder, letting my tears wet his shirt.

I cried for what seemed like an eternity, huddled on Charlie's lap. He rubbed my back and whispered, "Shh. It's alright" and a "It's going to be okay, Bells" every now and then. But that was Charlie. He always knew what to do to make me feel better. He was always there. Even when I practically abandoned him for mom years ago, he was still there when I needed him.

What was I going to do when he's gone?

He pulled me away from his embrace gently, placing his hands on my shoulders as he started to speak.

"Bells, I think you know why I showed up here, don't you honey?" he asked, his strong masculine voice filling my senses with memories of us, making me dizzy.

I sat there for a moment before finally choking out, "I don't want you to go, daddy. I don't want to say goodbye."

He grabbed my arms and twisted my exhausted body so that I was facing him. I tried to memorize everything about him, since it may be the last time I ever saw him like this. Every line on his face, the subtle tinge of salt and pepper of his hair, and the way his mustache would twist into that smile that he only let me see. To me, he still looked like the dad I knew and worshiped when I was a kid. I would never forget every single part of him, because most of it he had passed on to me. We were so alike in so many ways.

"Hey," he said, tears forming in his wide brown eyes. "I don't want to say goodbye either, kid. But I don't have to tell you that sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to."

I nodded, still crying as he continued. "But there are some things I want to say before I go. Okay?" he asked softly.

"Okay, Daddy," I sniffled. I wasn't sure what my dad would say to me. He's never been one for long speeches or drawn out lectures. Everything was short, and to the point with Charlie. The Chief of Police had no time for dilly-dallying.

Even so, he was always there to lend his advice. Even when we were apart, when I was taking care of mom, he was there for me. He was the only one that was truly there, for me. I'll never forget that. Ever.

"Bella, I know you might not want to think this way now, but someday you're going to be okay from this," he said as the tears welled in his eyes.

"And I'm sorry that this had to happen. I'm sorry that you'll be alone now. I'm sorry that I'm going to miss so much," he cried. "But I want you to be okay, Bells. I want you to live your life doing what you always wanted to do. I want you to write that novel you've been too afraid to start. I want you to go back to college, and graduate. I want you to live the life you should have lived, before your mom got sick. And most of all, I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone that will be there for you and love you. Someone that will take care of you, that will protect you." He winked. "He's closer than you think, Isabella. Remember that." Charlie smiled, with a reassuring squeeze of his arm around my waist.

I stared at him with wide tear filled eyes. I wanted to say so much to him at that moment. I wanted to thank him for everything he'd done for me; for being there when I needed him most and for loving me. I wanted to tell him that he is a great man and wonderful father. I wanted to say it all but I couldn't speak. I feared that every word I spoke would take away another moment with him. I would stay silent forever if it prevented it.

"And I want you to grow old, get married, have my grandkids. Have a happy life. And think about your old dad every once in a while. You think you could do all that for me, kid?" he asked. I snuggled into his chest closer.

"I will, daddy," I cried. I don't know how I'll live up to all those promises, but I would make him proud of me. "I promise."

"I love you so much, Bella. Don't ever forget that," he whispered in my ear as I held on tighter.

"I love you too, daddy. Always," I managed to choke out. He pulled me from his embrace reluctantly, and kissed my forehead. I closed my eyes to remember his scent, rustic and woody, with a slight hint of cigar smoke. The smell that would always remind me of home.

And this time, when I slowly opened my eyes…my father was gone. I was left alone and cold, without his warm arms wrapped around me. The safety was gone. I felt so vulnerable.

The wave of grief slammed into me as I fell to the ground, emitting guttural sobs and screams that echoed in the space around me. I had to be crying for hours balled up on the ground, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I already knew who it was. His touch was light and comforting and I felt warm as his fingers traced along my back.

My Angel.

I stood up and crashed myself into his arms again, the weight of this pain crippling me. I cried and cried on my angel's shoulder as he consoled me. Every now and then I'd vaguely feel his warm breath in my hair as he kissed the top of my head. I was overcome with grief about my father, but I was almost as relieved that I wasn't alone now.

Then my angel gently lifted my head to face him, while grazing my cheeks lightly with the pad of his thumbs.

"Oh, my Bella. I'm so sorry," he whispered. Everything was happening so fast, I almost didn't recognize the scenery change again. I tore my weary eyes from the blur in front of me to find us surrounded by white walls. The sterile hospital smell gave away the location instantly. I was back in Charlie's hospital room.

What? Why am I here now?

I knew that this had to be an out of body experience, because what I saw now could only be described in a dream. Charlie was laying motionless in his bed-the constant beeps of his life support prodded and protruded through the quiet solitude of the room. I smiled to myself thinking that he looked so peaceful. On the bed next to him, a man and woman lay next to each other. The man protectively held the woman tightly in his arms. My head started to spin as I realized that the woman was me, and the man was Charlie's closest friend, Edward. He was the deputy that hasn't left my side since I got to the hospital.

I turned to my faceless angel with what I was sure was a puzzled expression. Why am I seeing this? Then he turned to me and said, "It's time to wake up now, sweetheart. You know what you have to do now. You'll be strong for me, won't you love?" he asked. I nodded my head in reply, my mind still reeling from the most intense, surreal dream of my life.

My angel's last words to me were still ringing in my ears as I began to stir.

"Remember, love. I'll always be close by. Always."

The peeps of the life support faded into the background until I heard them no more.


My eyes fluttered open slowly. The room was completely silent. No monitors, no TV, no conversation. I took a deep breath, and I knew Edward would know then that I was awake. He jumped a little, startled by my movement. He quickly grabbed me by the shoulders to face him, and met my eyes. And that's when I saw it.

The most heart breaking sadness crept across Edward's face, so painful that it almost hurt to look at him. I could only blink a few times, not finding my voice yet. He seemed so scared, so lost. That anguish in his eyes was recognizable.

Then I noticed a woman standing next to the bed, her short spiky black hair all over the place, a sad and worried expression plaguing her features. I didn't know who this woman was, but I instantly felt for her. She looked so distraught.

Bringing my attention back to Edward, he took a deep breath before opening his mouth to speak.

"Bella, are you alright?" he asked. I slowly nodded my head, but that only seemed to make Edward more distraught.

"Bella, please. I need you to say something to me. Anything…I just need to hear your voice. Can you do that for me?"

My throat was dry from sleeping, but I tried to clear my throat to speak to him.

"I-I'm okay," I said, my voice strained.

"Thank God," he whispered, almost too low for me to hear. He pulled me to him quickly, his arms wrapping tightly around me once again. A few minutes passed before I heard Edward's soft voice in my ear.

"Bella?" he whispered. I didn't respond.

I knew what he was going to say.

"Bella, something's happened…" His head lowered and Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh, god. I don't even know where to start," he cried.

"I'm so very sorry, Bella. Charlie, he…" his voice trailed off again as he began to cry softly. It was almost unendurable to hear him break this way.

"Shh, Edward," I said, gripping him tighter to me as he wept. "I know," I said softly. "I know…he's gone."

I reluctantly turned my head in the direction of the bed where I last saw my father, hooked up to machines and fighting for his life.

The bed was empty.


I love hearing from you guys, so please review…tell me what you think! I will reply back to you. :)