A/N: Disclaimer: I don't own Izaya, Prussia, Karkat, Durarara!, Hetalia: Axis Powers, or Homestuck. I also do not own My Immortal, that belongs to Tara Gillespie, who can KEEP the bloody thing.

In this installment: Kanra's gender revealed,

carcinoGeneticist: WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE.

carcinoGeneticist
: OHHH IT'S KANRA STILL DENYING HER GENDER.

carcinoGeneticist
: DOESN;T CHANGE FROM DAY-TO-DAY.

Kanra
: ...Actually, mates...

carcinoGeneticist
: OF COURSE. THE PERFECT ALIBI.

carcinoGeneticist
: MATES.

Kanra
: Where's Wurutsu-san?

carcinoGeneticist
: WENT MIA. SAID SOMETHING ABOUT HIS 'stupid bruder and the d*mn pan-wielding tranny' SO IT MUST BE PRETTY IMPORTANT.

Kanra
: F*ck. You'll have to tell him for me, then.

carcinoGeneticist: I CAN DO THAT. GIVE ME MY MESSAGE.

carcinoGeneticist: I SWEAR I WILL GOO JUST LIKE A PIDGEON. BUT I REFUSE TO SH*T ON THE WINDOWSILL.

Kanra: I am bowing out of this mission. Conflict of interest.

carcinoGeneticist: PITY.

carcinoGeneticist: WE NEVER EVEN SETTLED WHO EBONY WILL END UP WITH, OR WHAT GENDER YOU REALLY ARE.

Kanra: I'm a man.

Kanra: ...And as it turns out... the person I have a crush on actually enjoys Harry Potter.

carcinoGeneticist: YOUR BLATANT LYING HAS BEEN NOTED.

carcinoGeneticist: OHHH. THAT COULD BE A PROBLEM.

carcinoGeneticist: SHE'S THE NERDY TYPE, HUH.

Kanra: This person can throw a vending machine at my head.

Kanra: Hardly a nerd.

carcinoGeneticist: SHE'S ONE F*CKING FEISTY NERD.

Kanra: Shizu-chan is like that, yes. For the record, I'm not a lesbian.

carcinoGeneticist: SO YOU CONFESS TO BEING A GIRL.

Kanra: ...You're trying to troll me. Nicely done.

Kanra: I'm not taking the bait.

carcinoGeneticist: I AM JUST STATING THE OBVIOUS, MISS KANRA.

Kanra: ...Shizuo is a man. *grins* As am I.

Kanra: Does it really matter? We're all trolls here.

carcinoGeneticist: TRUE.

carcinoGeneticist: AND I HAVE WEIRD FRIENDS SO IT'S NOTHING NEW.

Kanra: So, yes.

carcinoGeneticist: BUT. I STILL THINK YOU'RE A GIRL.

Kanra: Why would you say that?

carcinoGeneticist: YOU'RE JUST TOO...

carcinoGeneticist: ...YOU'RE REALLY F*CKING EFFEMINATE ONLINE.

carcinoGeneticist: AND I SUSPECT YOU'RE THE SAME IN REAL LIFE.

Kanra: ... Not sure whether trolling, or really that stupid.

Kanra: Wait, you're you, never mind.

carcinoGeneticist: NO ONE CAN TELL WITH ME.

Kanra : Trolling.

carcinoGeneticist: JUST GO WITH IT.

Kanra: Fine. -_-

- gallowsCallibrator entered the room -

carcinoGeneticist: I INVITED A FRIEND. HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.

Kanra: ... The last time you invited a 'friend', we wound up trying to hack Anonymous while we were punch-drunk at three A.M.

Kanra : Or was it the Pentagon?

gallowsCalibrator: H3H3H3H3H3

gallowsCalibrator: WHY W4A 1 NOT PR3S3NT FOR TH1S ONE? 1T SOUNDS F41RLY 1NT3R3ST1NG.

gallowsCalibrator: *W4S

Kanra: Oh my lord. My eyes. What have you DONE. THEY BLEEEEEEEED.

Kanra: Leet is so 1997, gallowsbird.

gallowsCalibrator: 1 S33 YOU H4V3 4 PROBL3M W1TH MY SP3LL1NG? DON'T G3T M4D, SH33SH

gallowsCalibrator: 1'M BL1ND YOU 1D1OT

Kanra: ...Oh. I'm sorry.

Kanra : I should have known.

carcinoGeneticist: YOUR BLATANT SARCASM HAS BEEN NOTED.

carcinoGeneticist: PROCEED, GC

Kanra: You type like you're blind, have a head injury, and have only one finger.

gallowsCalibrator: WOW TH4T W4S 4LMOST 4CCUR4T3!

Kanra : That must have been one *nasty* accident. My *deepest* condolences.

gallowsCalibrator: 1T W4S, TH4NK YOU V3RY MUCH

Kanra: /sarc

gallowsCalibrator: 1 KNOW D*MB4SS, 1 C4N SM3LL YOUR T3XT

Kanra: ...Moving on to things people actually CARE about.

gallowsCalibrator: :]

carcinoGeneticist: WHERE WERE WE WITH THE TROLLFIC AGAIN?

Kanra: That's the point, I've got to bow out of this one.

carcinoGeneticist: BECAUSE OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

Kanra: Shizu told me to read them... and I started... actually liking them.

carcinoGeneticist: OH FOR F*CK'S SAKE.

carcinoGeneticist: YOU CAN STILL TROLLFIC AND LIKE SOMETHING.

carcinoGeneticist: WON'T THAT ACTUALLY IMPROVE IT IN THE END?

Kanra: ...Heh. And it will BOTHER HIM TO NO END.

gallowsCalibrator: 1F 1T BUGS H1M TH3N MORE POW3R TO YOU.

Kanra: I was going to say something about how leet is tacky, but there's really no point and carcino will just break out the gay jokes.

carcinoGeneticist: GLAD TO SEE YOU KNOW ME SO WELL ALREADY KANRA.

Kanra: You're not very complicated, you monster. xD

gallowsCalibrator: H3H3H3H3

gallowsCalibrator: ONE WOULD C3RT41NLY L1K3 TO TH1NK SO

gallowsCalibrator: WH3N 1T COM3S TO CG

gallowsCalibrator: JUST K33P TH1NK1NG TH4T K4NR4

gallowsCalibrator: W3'LL S33 HOW 1T TURNS OUT :]

Kanra: K4nR4? Sounds like a bad J-Pop act.

gallowsCalibrator: 1T DO3S DO3SN'T 1T

gallowsCalibrator: M1GHT W4NN4 CONS1D3R CH4NG1NG YOUR H4NDL3

gallowsCalibrator: :]

Kanra: ...Just sounds bad w/ the numbers in.

gallowsCalibrator: WH4T3V3R TH3 H3LL 4 K4NR4 1S

- gallowsCallibrator left the chatroom -

carcinoGeneticist: GUESS SHE GOT BORED.

Kanra: ...Congratulations. She damaged my calm.

carcinoGeneticist: I'LL LET HER KNOW THAT.

carcinoGeneticist: SHE WILL NO DOUBT GIGGLE HER CALCIUM-BASED HEAD OFF.

carcinoGeneticist: OH WAIT.

Kanra: 1 sec...

Kanra: earthquake just came thru.

carcinoGeneticist: EARTHQUAKES ARE TIRING.

carcinoGeneticist: HOW BIG?

Kanra: not very. A for effort, F for results.

carcinoGeneticist: GLAD IT DIDN'T RUIN YOUR MAKEUP.

Kanra : ...I don't wear makeup. _

carcinoGeneticist: GIRLS WEAR MAKEUP UNLESS THEY'RE BLIND AND SPEAK L33TSP34K.

Kanra: Celty doesn't wear makeup. Oh. What now?

Kanra: Anyway. Let the itteh bitteh trolling committee get this sh*t rolling.

carcinoGeneticist: I QUITE AGREE.

carcinoGeneticist: TOO LONG HAS BEEN WASTED ON EXTREMELY NOT-NOTEWORTHY AND UNRECORDED OBSERVATIONS.

carcinoGeneticist: WON'T SHE NEED COHORTS?

Kanra: D*mn. I forgot. ...We should give her hideously twisted versions of Harry and Hermione.

Kanra: And some dumba** friend that has nothing to do with the story.

- awesomeWurst entered the chatroom -

awesomeWurst: adlglfhsdkhgl;dg

Kanra: Bad day, huh? That trannie giving you problems again?

awesomeWurst: alfjkhakjshf. fuuuu.

Kanra: Does she need a vending machine to the head?

awesomeWurst: that would be appreciated to no end

Kanra: I'll take a trip to Hungary next week, then. And drag Shizu-chan with me.

awesomeWurst: danke schon...

Kanra: Trolls have to look out for each other.

Kanra : Except Karkat. 'Cause it's funny.

carcinoGeneticist: DESPITE THAT LAST SENTENCE I HATE TO BREAK UP THE MOMENT.

carcinoGeneticist: WE STILL HAVE TO GET LOADS OF SH*T DONE BEFORE THIS STORY IS A GIFT TO THE TROLLWORLD.

Kanra: Here's what I've got so far...

Kanra: *snort*

Kanra : AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik) 2 my gf (ew not in that way)
raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok!
Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black
hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that
reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of
people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get
da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was
because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are
straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go
to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh
year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear
mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For
example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it
and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I
was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye
shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so
there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at
me. I put up my middle finger at them.

awesomeWurst: oh?

Kanra: *cunningly inserted one of Francis' clothing descriptions in there*

awesomeWurst: pfffffft

awesomeWurst: i might have just barfed a little.

Kanra: I forced Erika to write parts of it.

Kanra : The textspeak parts.

Kanra: Bribed her with doushinji.

Kanra: What do you think? Is it sh*tty enough?

carcinoGeneticist: THAT SH*T IS GLORIOUS.

Kanra: *bows* Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week.

awesomeWurst: so now what needs to get done?

Kanra: Every other d*mn thing.

awesomeWurst: gott. making a troll fic is had work

Kanra: Cheer up, my friends. Listen to this: *posts a link to a song- Voltaire's 'When You're Evil'*

Kanra: The Anthem of our Villainy. xD

carcinoGeneticist: OH GOD I FORGOT HOW TERRIBLE YOUR HUMAN MUSIC IS.

Kanra: At least it's the proper link, I didn't rickroll you again. Or REBECCAROLL.

awesomeWurst: not that abomination of hearing.

awesomeWurst: i couldn't listen to it all the way through.

Kanra: Which seat should I take?

awesomeWurst: e.e

awesomeWurst: the one that is laying down. don't mind the huge sharp thing about to drop onto where your neck should be, it's not a guillotine

Kanra: No thanks, I choose life.

awesomeWurst: then quit singing the song, gottverdammt

Kanra: And I do it all for free~ Your tears are all the company I neeeeeeeeeeeed~

awesomeWurst: i get you're a troll and everything but gott that is so annoying.

Kanra: Trollihara strikes again. :D

awesomeWurst: yeah yeah

Kanra: Anyway. Enough with musical trolling.

awesomeWurst: one of these days we need to go after gleeks.

Kanra: That will be amusing, yes. *grins*

Kanra: Though I think we can agree on one thing.

awesomeWurst: that being?

Kanra: Durarara!, Homestuck, and Hetalia are off-limits. For the... obvious reasons.

Kanra: We had a Mary Sue in our town last week, it was awful.

Kanra: I think we can agree that we don't want ANYTHING Karkat wrote in our world. Yes?

carcinoGeneticist: OH LORD, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MANY WE GET. I AGREE.

- has entered the chatroom-

: What's going on here? Prussia told me there was something Potter-related here?

carcinoGeneticist: AND YOU SO GRACIOUSLY JUMPING IN UNNANOUNCED WOULD BE?

: Kirkland. Arthur Kirkland.

Kanra: Oh, no, not you again!

carcinoGeneticist: SOUNDS LIKE SOME KIND OF FOIL BRAND.

: IT MEANS CHURCHLAND, WANKER.

Kanra: ... who has mod privs again? make him go away.

carcinoGeneticist: DOESN'T AW HAVE THEM?

awesomeWurst: nah, I'm pretty sure it's you

Kanra: ... did we SERIOUSLY set up another board where no one has mod privs?

: ...It says on my screen 'moderator', if that helps.

carcinoGeneticist: ...F*CK.

: ...What? What?

Kanra: I vote we take this somewhere else.

carcinoGeneticist: YES.

: ...What houses are you guys...?

- Kanra has left the chat room-

- carcinoGeneticist has left the chatroom -

: ...Prussia, what was that for?

awesomeWurst: it's because

awesomeWurst: this isn't just Harry Potter, Iggs

awesomeWurst: we're butchering it.

- awesomeWurst has left the chatroom -

: WHAT?

: I have to stop you!

: ...And you're gone.

- has left the chatroom-