Olympians guide to life chapter 3
Disclaimer: you know how it works; Percy, Luke, Apollo and the Stoll brothers have been claimed, but I am willing to share Luke and/or Apollo if you ask very nicely. Percy, Connor and Travis, however, are a different matter entirely.
On the subject of reviews, I lost one of the reviews when I was working on this at dad's over the weekend before chapter 2 was posted, and as a result I made someone very sad, so I'M SORRY KANAE! *hugs*
I hope you like haikus! XD
Anyhow, thank you everyone for the reviews, I won't be able to include every question in each chapter, I have a word document full of the things so I'm working through them and highlighting the ones I've done. Bear with me!
A reminder of who everyone is:
A list of who's who:
Zeus is bold
Poseidon is underlined
Visitors are italic (Connor Stoll)
Dionysus is bold italic
Apollo is italic and underlined
Athena is normal text
Today, Ares is… missing… so Travis is stealing his place. I will explain this later
Voldy, the squirrel Goddess (me) is bold and underlined
Enjoy!
…
Who invented ants?
What?
Which genius decided to invent ants? They're all over the flipping kitchen!
They are pretty evil.
And lurgies. Whoever invented those – wait, that'd be you.
What?
Think about it; if we didn't have lurgies you'd be out of a job.
Not really, I'm the god of music and the sun as well.
… Shut up.
Voldy, manners.
You can shut up too.
That's hardly fair.
Yeah, he's your dad-in-law as well.
Where did Ares go?
To do some Pon Farr with Aphrodite most likely.
Is everyone here now?
Not yet, we're waiting on –
We are now.
Dionysus, please stop interrupting me.
I only did it once.
Anyway, I found that little piece of paper I was looking for the other day, and here's the question on it.
"Apollo- Will you recite a haiku for me? I love your haikus." From Kanae Valentine, but because I missed posting her question last time, make it two haikus.
No! You'll kill us all! … Actually, go ahead.
I love how you suddenly changed your mind when Voldy glared at you.
Of course I will!
"Voldy forgot your question
It wasn't asked last chapter
She is very sad"
I blame the squirrel virus that makes them forget where they hid their winter food stores!
And the second one:
"Kanae Valentine likes my haikus,
That makes me very happy
I am so awesome."
I swear most of your haikus end in "I am so awesome"
That's because I am.
Not as awesome as George and Martha.
I have to agree, their veins are clearly filled with awesomesauce.
So are dad's.
Everyone's veins are filled with awesomesauce! Except the Ares cabin. And Aphrodite's cabin. And Ares and Aphrodite and normal mortals but apart from that XD
How do you manage to speak in emoticons again?
I have to say that is pretty awesome.
Why thank you.
Anyway, next question:
"Poseidon- Why didn't you use a sand dollar to win the Athens?(I read that
made salt water spring I mean like that is useless, when you can like use the
sand dollar for clean healthy water and I'm betting you would have won them if
you did)" from Alexa 159
why didn't I think of that?
That's why you should always go to girls for advice.
Seriously, I can't believe I didn't think of that! Voldy can I borrow your time machine?
No.
Why not?
Because you already have a city named after yourself anyway. Athena won. End of discussion.
Anyway… Connor, you've found a question?
Yeah, here it is:
"Connor- What is the best prank you ever pulled?" from Alexa 159 – this chick sure asks a lot of questions!
Hard question to answer; either the golden mango or the time we drew scars and moustaches all over the posters in the Aphrodite cabin.
Connor, I'd have to go for golden mango out of those two. Basically, they spray-painted this mango gold and put it in the Aphrodite cabin with a note saying "for the hottest" when the Aphrodite kids were off doing archery.
It was awesome! They had a major catfight over it! Gucci shoes and make-up and stuff were flying everywhere!
They found out it was us but it was worth it!
I seem to remember you two tried to get Tony stark to make you an iron man suit for capture the flag.
We made an alliance with the Hephaestus cabin instead.
They made automatons and we won.
Next question!
"Zeus- Do you have a stuffed animal dachshund named Milton?" from Kanae Valentine.
I can explain that! It was a present from Artemis's hunters and I can't get rid of it!
Actually, I think that's the best prank you ever pulled, Connor.
PUNY MORTAL! I SHALL SMITE YOU!
No you won't because if you do I'll tear you into tiny pieces. My Stoll brothers. Got it?
… Yes.
Have you ever thought you claimed too many people, Voldy?
Did it ever occur to you that you have too many kids?
Do you want some ice for that?
What's that supposed to mean?
I don't know; something that Percy's been saying a lot.
Yeah he got it from Nick. Long story. Basically it means BURN!
Anyhow, next question;
"What is life on Olympus like?" from AnnabethChaseWiseGirl. Oh look! She added a footnote; "Oh and Zeus… Voldy is SO much better than you"
PUNY MORTAL!
Shut up Zeus, she's right.
I AM BETTER! HOW DARE YOU!
Zeus, shut up or I'll throw you to the Percy Jackson fan girls.
But – AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
I warned you.
That was a little harsh. Anyway; Olympus is a little hectic at the moment, because Voldy's insisting that we invite the demigods for a "First day of the rest of our lives" party
Sounds fun, when is it?
Saturday, twelve o'clock.
I'm so there.
Me too.
And also my mortal self has exams, so it's study, study, study until the 23rd of June.
I'm so glad we don't have exams.
You wouldn't, old man.
Less of the cheek, Voldy.
Right you are, sir!
I think that was still cheek.
What the hell? You sounded like mum just then, Travis!
Okay, I had a mad moment.
Not enough caffeine.
Amen to that!
Anyhow, next question! Ooh! It's for Connor!
"Connor- How well do you and Travis REALLY get along, hmm?"
Well, Connor? Are you going to tell the world about the sock incident?
… No…
Aww come on, Connor, it was pretty funny.
Is this the time when Connor got accused of stealing the socks of the whole cabin and it was actually me?
Yes, that's precisely the incident I was referring to.
Man that was awesome!
Easy for you to say; you didn't get chased to the creek before Luke stopped everything!
That wasn't my fault – last time it was you.
Only because you dared me to and I was high on caffeine.
Caffeine is awesome.
Anyway, apart from the nagging and getting blamed for things he's done, we get along pretty well!
Yeah; two heads are better than one when concocting the perfect prank.
That's the philosophy of many a pair of pranking twins I know.
Next question!
"To all gods... Do you know Primus?" From Paula545
Who the hell is Primus?
The Transformer god.
HELL YES! Someone else who likes those movies!
Hey! I do too!
HOORAY! We can be sci-fi nerds together!
Who is this Primus you speak of? Is he a pretender to my throne? I WILL SMITE HIM!
Shut up, Zeus; Primus oozes awesomesauce and epicness. He is unsmiteable!
Are those even words?
They are now! I just invented them!
NOTHING IS UNSMITABLE! I SHALL SMITE HIM!
Chuck Norris is unsmiteable
And Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan
And gods. And Primus is one.
Owned by teenagers!
Next question!
"Apollo: has anyone ever told you that you are the leading cause for skin
cancer?" From Calliope Muse
I am NOT!
That was a bit harsh, but to be fair the sun DOES emit UV-rays that cause skin cancer.
Stop the science already! I am NOT a cause of skin cancer! It's not my fault the Sun has evil bits in it!
I shall read the next question
"Great squirrel goddess- Do you know that you are awesome? Has anyone ever told you that before?" From Kanae Valentine
WHAT? NO MENTION OF THE KING OF THE GODS! FOOL MORTAL I SHALL – AAAAAAAAAAHHH!
That's what you get for not shutting up about smiting, Zeus. And thank you for saying so, Kanae! For that you get another haiku at the end!
And we're whizzing through questions now! Next one!
"Travis- Are you in love with an RRA goddess or Katie, daughter of Demeter?" From Alexa159
Who?
Katie, daughter of Demeter, lovie.
Why are you calling him lovie?
Because he just failed and needed to be reminded of that in a patronising way.
Fair enough
Well… Katie and I haven't been getting on well ever since the Easter bunnies appeared on her cabin's roof.
It got even worse when he got drunk and put a sheep up there
I have to say that was pretty funny.
Remind me never to try one of your hangover cures again, Voldy, that was horrible.
Consider yourself reminded.
But usually we get on pretty well…
Meaning I happened to be visiting the camp and saw you and Katie were snogging by the stream…
Stop laughing, Connor! It's not funny!
Yes, it really is; you've gone bright red.
Aww, young love.
You'd know
Whatever can you mean?
Sally Jackson? Various others?
… Point.
And we're out of time again!
No we're not the conch shell hasn't –
What's that then?
The conch shell
Join us next time when none other than HADES will be joining us!
The creepy dead guy?
He's acting (and looking) more like a moody emo teenager now.
You'd know
I would; I've been giving him counselling sessions after Persephone got mad and turned half his kids into dandelions.
Lucky you managed to fix it.
I have to agree.
Although your methods are slightly unorthodox.
What, you think threatening to test my potions on her garden is a bad idea?
I thought it was funny, and it worked.
Well, Travis, Connor; I think it's time you and Mr D returned to the Camp.
Speaking of which, he's been a bit quiet…
Because you've all been talking and I haven't had a word in edgeways.
Sorry.
Goodnight everyone!
Join us next time for the epic battle of the big three!
Or the "Watch Poseidon and Hades get beaten by their awesome brother" fest!
Or the "Watch Zeus be chased around the room with a cattle prod" fest. Shut up. Apollo! Haiku!
"We hope you enjoyed
Our answers to your questions
Ask us more next time!"
…end…
Woohoo! I've FINALLY updated! *throws confetti* and yes, Hades will be here next time and so far I only have ONE question for him. I NEED MORE!
And I may have to warn you to expect teenage moodiness from Hades, because that's how he's acting at the moment – I have no idea why :P
REVIEW WITH YOUR QUESTIONS FOR HADES!
