DISCLAIMER: I do not own Code Lyoko or its characters

A/N: I'm feeling like the flow of this chapter is sort of awkward because it's mainly Yumi talking, so if ya'll could R&R and let me know what ya'll think that'd be great!

Yumi sat there leaning over her father casket wondering if the 'Forgiveness Plan' her friend and recently titled therapist, Renea, had suggested would help in any way.

All she felt now was pain. Pain in her heart, in her stomach, and the phantom pain in her arm from the first night the angry beast within her beautiful father reared its ugly head.

She didn't say this would be easy…Yumi thought to herself, remembering how much Renea had struggled to hold back the tears when Yumi told her about the fourth miscarriage. The doctors all said it was a mental thing. She was in perfect health physically and there seemed to be no reason why she was losing the babies. Some said it could be stress, and that Yumi simply needed to relax. Then Renea suggested that it was deeper than that.

"Yumi you're scared. Subconsciously you have this battle going on; you want children but because of your father, and the things you went through you don't think you deserve them…and with what's happened this past week…well…I'm sad and sorry, but can't say it surprises me the your body had so much trouble holding onto this pregnancy…Go to the funerals…go to his service. Forgive him Yumi…berry the hurt with him, but not the past…it's a part of you yes, but it doesn't have to hurt anymore! Please, for your own sake...forgive him…"

Renea had offered to come with Yumi but this felt like something she needed to do alone…

"Daddy…I thought for so long that I had done something wrong. That because I was so worthless you had to hurt me…you had to hurt momma…But the truth is that you just couldn't handle the pressure of making ends meet, or of taking care of your family. You broke daddy. You broke under the stress of the real world, and wanted to break momma and me too. To bring us down to your level, and you did for awhile; at least I fell down. But because of the people who loved me, because of Ulrich, I found my way back up and out of the hole you had dug for all three of us. And now I have to walk away from that pit; momma was the only thing holding me there…and now you've taken care of that snag…so all that's left for me to do is walk away." Yumi let the x-ray slip from her fingers and join the other memories below.

She went back to the almost empty music box and pulled out a plastic wrist band, and a translucent blue bottle.

"The night you broke my arm you cried to mom and me saying you didn't mean it, that it was an accident…You were laying down in the back seat, your head in my lap. And with my good arm, I pet you hair out of your eyes, and told you it would be okay. Mom told the nurses I had fallen out of a tree. She left you sleeping in the waiting room to call aunt Marcey to tell her to go to our house and pack everything she could fit into the car. Marcey loved me; we use to always visit her. She didn't have kids of her own so she was always happy to see us. Mom and I left you sleeping in the dark waiting room alone, and rode with aunt Marcey in her car to her house, and slept in her guest bed…I knew you had ruined our home…I thought nothing would ever be good in my life again." Yumi played with a lose string on the hem of her skirt, trying to gather her thoughts.

"When…" She hiccupped, "When you took mom to court, the judge said that because there had never been any physical abuse charges brought against you by either mom or me that in the occurrence of divorce you would have joint custody. And being the stupid little girl I was, I never told mom that you still beat up on me. Never. She asked of course, begged on occasion, for me to tell her the truth. She knew, but I believed you every time you said you were sorry…" Yumi turned the bottle over in her hand, "It was too hard to take what you were doing, and believe your apologies…so I took something even harder. Any drug I could get my hands on. Never used needles, I was a pill popper. And that cabinet of mercy in the bathroom you and mom use to share was my supplier." She dangled the white, plastic wrist band between her index and middle finger.

"I somehow managed my grades and graduated high school…but there didn't seem to be a point to it. You had run off my friends. I ran off my boyfriend…so, graduation cap and all, I took and entire bottle of sleeping pills and stumbled across the field behind our house to the Barton Bridge. It was no longer in use, but still the most popular jumping spot over the Whitney River. Of course the water was too cold even in May for anyone to be up there jumping and swimming…and anyways it was like 8 o'clock at night…if anything there would be kids celebrating, too drunk to do anything. As I walked up on the bridge I was already feeling the effects of the pills, and started thinking I wouldn't even make it to the water. I remember touching the cold, rusted steel on the side of the bridge, and swayed there for a moment…I felt sick. And then…there were voices, at first I thought that it was over, I was dyeing and I could here sounds from the other side…now I know there had been a group of kids at the other end of the bridge, celebrating yes, drunk…no. I'm not even sure if I jumped or fell in. I just remember the voices getting louder, and then being gone. The water was freezing, so cold it burned my lungs when I tried to breathe in. I can't remember trying to fight to live…even if I had wanted to then, with a bottle of Rozerem down my throat there was no way my body was responding to anything my brain had to say…" Yumi turned to look back at her ice blue mini van, and her husband. She smiled, taking in his form. Facing her direction with his head against the window sleeping.

"He's beautiful dad…Just as beautiful as he was 8 years ago when I woke up to see him still dripping wet, sitting beside my hospital bed. Ulrich and a couple of his friends had gone out the bridge, just to remember old times, goof off. When he saw me stumbling up to the railing he knew something wasn't right, but was too late getting to me." Her voice broke, "So he jumped in daddy. We hadn't spoken in almost three years, and he jumped in after me. He thought I was worth something…he knew I was worth something…" a soft breeze carried the smell of soil, perfume, and rain through the air. Yumi looked to her left and saw an older woman dabbing an amber liquid on a little girl's neck. She then kissed the girl's cheek and tucked the perfume bottle into her purse, took the little girl's hand and led her gently, slowly to a black tent only a few yards away from the one Yumi was under. The rain had slowed to a very light drizzle; the woman tilted her face upward, looking at ease…looking like Yumi's mother had the last time she had seen her alive…

Yumi looked back to the cold steel box beneath her, "Mom was there too, in the hospital…you weren't. I was 18…free, and alive. Amazingly, alive. I asked Ulrich why…He said 'Yumi, I have been in love with you since the 6th grade. Three years ago you went to a dark place and you wouldn't let me help you out of it; you didn't want out of it so I backed off…But I didn't stop loving you. I will never stop loving you', and then he kissed my hand; and we just sat there quietly enjoying the fact that we were both breathing, both alive and with each other." Yumi spread her fingers and released the wrist band, then stared at the pill bottle in her other hand, "After that night I didn't need anything to help the pain. I left the hospital and went straight to Aunt Marcey's with mom. I spent every day of the summer that followed with Ulrich. And in the fall we went to college together…no sign of you for 8 years. Well at least no physical sign…" Yumi felt colder but wasn't shivering; she reached into the music box and pulled out 3 small, thin ribbons and a black and white picture printed on paper.

She gripped the pieces of ribbon tightly and tried to fight back the hot tears that were welling threateningly in the corners of her eyes.

She then took the copied picture and held it in front of her.

"This, daddy, is the last sonogram taken of my first child; a girl, Cache' Yuuki Stern. I went 3 months with out knowing I was pregnant. She was so small, and I had been so stressed my junior year of college that the signs just…well her presence slipped right past me. When the thought started pushing its way to the front of my mind I talked myself into taking a home test…sure enough I was the proud owner of a bold pink plus sign…At first I was shocked, and scared; but once again Ulrich pulled me from the icy water and we made the best out of our surprise." Yumi Brought the photo to her lips, kissed it softly, and then let it fall in the grave with the rest of her trinkets.

"After I found out I was pregnant I started having these horrible nightmares. They were all memories. The one that repeated the most was pulled from the Friday night that I had come home from school, after telling Ulrich to get out of my life. He had refused at first but after verbally and then physically abusing him for about an hour he gave up the fight, and let me be. I was with you for that weekend, and I remember being so angry when I walked into the house to see you sitting shirtless on the couch, in the dark, drinking. I through my bag at you, and started screaming…screaming that you were a horrible father and that you had ruined my life, ruined my love; and you just sat there continuing to drink. Then I went after you with my fists. It was pointless, my frail pale hands slamming against your 5'9 box frame, fueled by whiskey and vodka. With one swing of your arm I was on the ground. Then you were kicking me and kicking me, and wouldn't stop. You kept saying that I was a worthless whore, and that's why Ulrich didn't want me…I woke up from that dream with cramps every time. For a month this went on, the dreams only getting worse, and more frequent. At my four month marker the Dr. told me it was a girl, and that she was small but with some help she would be fine. Ulrich and I decided on the name that night; and I went to sleep with the list of colors for the nursery on my bedside table…I woke up from a bad dream right into a nightmare. In the ER Ulrich kept telling me it would be okay, but I already knew it wouldn't…I knew we'd lost her."

A/N: Once again, please read and review!! I want to know if it was awkward for ya'll reading this with so much of the story being Yumi's dialogue.