RSTC: A Reason to Go On
Hey Vicky. Greetings from the armpit of the galaxy Klendathu. Listen, things are a little intense here bug wise so I just wanted to tell you how much... I miss you. I joined to prove something. To myself I guess-- prove I was brave. But I'm not the brave one in the family, little sister. You are. You're my inspiration. As long as you keep fighting, I will too. Take care, sport.
I love you.
-- Corporal Jeffrey Gossard. FedNet Video Archive. Project Roughnecks Klendathu Campaign
Gossard watched the sand slip through his fingers back to the beach. Sunset was over. Dusk was setting upon Tesca Nemorosa. He smiled sadly. The alien moon was so similar to Earth that there were times he would forget that he was here hunting over sized alien insects. There were moments he thought he could simply fly home. The smile on his face faded at the thought of a picturesque white painted house with blue roof tiles on a cliff overlooking the sea. He shook his head trying to rid himself of the memory as the sound of the stadium like lights that surrounded the base turned on.There was a plop beside him accentuated some grains of sand that were sent flying in the air. He turned slightly just to see who had come to join him and frowned at the sight of his younger squad mate with a sling on her left arm. He suddenly felt guilty. He knew the injury was largely his fault although she never said anything about it. Worse was that he hasn't visited her at all even when he could've gone with the others. But what absolutely made him feel like scum was the fact that this was the person he had been asking for help or bouncing ideas off to when Doc was preoccupied because he didn't need to put things in lay man's terms for her to understand what he was talking about.
And he hasn't even apologized about the arm. "Andy, about that..." He started pointing at the arm.
"You're hand slipped on the controls?" She suggested wryly with a small smile. The mechanic groaned. That little comment meant she had bumped into the other troopers. "So." He watched her look out to the Nemorosan Sea while absently drawing stars on the sand with a finger. "I think you have to tell them about your girl troubles." She stated with a small decisive nod.
Gossard was taken aback in surprise. "Girl trouble?" He asked her confused. "Andy, I'm over Dizzy. She's with Rico and I'm happy for them." He pointed out to the trooper.
There was a smirk in her face. "Yes, because blasting them is the only way to celebrate. Nothing says I'm happy for you like a good round of plasma." She replied alluding again to the the happenings earlier that day making the mechanic chuckle slightly. There was a pause between the two just looking at the water. "I'm not talking about Dizzy though. I'm talking about Victoria." Andy revealed slowly turning to face the now shocked mechanic.
Shock quickly turned into suspicion. "How did you-"
"The force told me." Andy automatically answered even before the question was asked.
"The force." Gossard repeated unimpressed with her answer.
"Yeah." She nodded decisively. "The force is strong with this one." She continued pointing to herself innocently.
The mechanic rolled his eyes at the girl with disbelief. "You know what? You keep your past life in relative secret from the rest of us. But do you see me hacking away and prying into personal-"
"I read all of the Earth sector news cover to cover when I have the time. Obituaries included. I back track months if I have to. It's another odd ...habit." She cut the man off feeling his anger grow. "You were the one who went for the mail last. I'm guessing that's when you got the official SICON. Gossard isn't a common last name and you were already acting weird. Figured it was related. And I haven't told anyone because I've been waiting for you to tell them. Although, if Rico would just do his paperwork...which is really not the point. The point is, you actually almost blew up half the squad today 'playing' trooper." She played with the sand avoiding meeting Gossard's gaze.
"I said I was sorry." He frowned lying back on the sand so that he was looking up on the sky.
"And I'm sorry for your loss." She sincerely gave her condolences. Silence ensued for a few minutes giving the man hope that the subject has been dropped. "So. She's my age." She sighed uncomfortably breaking the quiet that has grown between them. "She was your... wife? Which by the way would be morally deficient seeing as you and Dizzy used to be together." There was no answer. "A close relative? Cousin? Niece? Sister?" She started guessing until she heard an outraged mechanic gasp telling her which one was correct. "Sister it is." She surmised. "Paper said she was sick. What did she have?" She continued her inquiry much to Gossard's dismay.
"Lou Gehrig's." He answered quickly before falling back to silence. He saw the girl turn her attention to the sand nodding. He hoped that she would stop. He didn't need this right now. He didn't need to be reminded that his little sister had just passed away and he was probably the last to know. Here he was fighting bugs in space when where he should really have been was back home beside his dying sister.
Andy resumed drawing stars on the sand idly. "Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Neurodegenerative disease that causes the loss of motor functions because of nerve death. It's annoying and slow and the sporadic kind is fatal. My aunt had that..." She frowned looking at the sky with moons shining brightly but had no stars. She bit her lower lip stopping for a second trying to think of something else to say. She gave the man a comforting pat on his free hand. "I get it. You tried to be brave and went to war when you knew what she had. That kind of ALS only has experimental treatments and it doesn't come cheap. Higgins told me once you were going for top brass but so far, you've turned down every promotion that went your way." She pieced the man's life like a puzzle in her mind. "Because you probably realized that you didn't need the promotion to pay for your sister's expenses. SICON takes really good care of the family you leave behind once you've become a trooper. Top notch health care just like that. That's... that's something."
"No. You don't 'get' anything!" He finally erupted sitting back up making the girl jump in her seat. He's kept everything hushed for a reason. He simply didn't want to remember that his sister is dead or how and why she died. He wanted to go on fighting pretending that she was still alive. Even Doc didn't know that Vicky was sick. And here was this girl, the newest trooper in the squad, easily summarizing the hardest parts of his life in a few short sentences. "Vicky is gone. Do you know how that feels? In fact, Andy," he sneered, "do you even have sisters or brothers? You seem to do your own thing all the time so I'm thinking you're an only child. You can't possibly imagine losing something you've never had in the first place." He spat out seeing a sad flicker in her dark brown eyes. But his guilt didn't overcome his anger. "Don't tell me you know what it feels like. You don't." He finished tears finally flowing freely down his cheeks. He cursed himself for losing control like that. He tried drying his eyes with his sleeve but the tears kept flowing.
The girl shook her head and slowly brought herself to stand. She knew where she was not welcomed. "Good. You're done with denial, bargaining, anger and despair. And, that right there is acceptance. Now, you can start mourning properly. Mission accomplished for me." She shot back in a harsh tone that he had never heard from her before. He couldn't believe that she was upset. She was the one who wouldn't leave him alone. "But here's something for you-- You don't even have to be a trooper anymore if you don't want to. You've served way past your term. Either ask for your honorable discharge and go back to Earth doing God knows what or find a reason to keep fighting as a trooper. All I know is that you can't keep going through the motions in the field because if you do, you're going to end up killing the squad." She brutally advised the older man plainly.
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." He snapped back dryly. Gossard
glared at her as she threw her good hand up in the air in defeat. But
it was her next words that made his blood run cold. "You know sarge,
eavesdropping is not cool." She said out loud before she turned around
saluting with her right hand. The mechanic saw Sgt. Zim walk forward
from the shadows towards them returning her salute. She pointed to her
watch that was temporarily strapped to her right hand effectively
telling Gossard that she had seen the sergeant's reflection on the
glass. "The force told me."
--
"I'm telling you she knows something." Max Brutto pointed a finger at his lieutenant.
Rico raised his eyebrow at the younger trooper. "She's smart, Brutto. She's not psychic." He replied. Dinner had gone by and he had decided to hold a small meeting in the squad room without their sharpshooter. The girl had been absent since she had decided to have a talk with Gossard. The fact that nobody had seen her since made Rico himself start to worry. Who knew what was going on in the mechanic's mind? The way he had been acting lately had them all doubting of not just his ability as a trooper but his mental health. Andy could be in danger without them knowing it and she wouldn't be able to fend for herself properly with an injured shoulder. The young lieutenant faced his friend to his left with a small grin. "You are though, Carl. What do you say?" He suggested.
Carl Jenkins tapped his chin for a second like he was thinking. "Let's see now... for the last time. NO." He frowned giving the officer a disapproving look. "Besides, Doc and Higgins agree with Brutto. We can just ask Andy." He suggested.
The was a wry grin from Dizzy Flores. "If she's kept it this long, good luck on getting a straight answer." She sat back on her chair crossing her arms. "I mean, besides from that time we were trying to keep her conscious when she got hit in Pluto, when have you ever gotten a straight answer about her life? Sure, we know she was a bartender, she loves music she plays in the house band of the bar she works in, she lives on top of the bar and she's really smart. But other than that, nothing." She shrugged.
"Nothing wrong with being a private person." Higgins defended the girl living below his bunk.
"Says a private person." Dizzy smirked in reply.
The door suddenly slid open revealing the subject of their conversation still trying to dust the sand off her clothes. She absently made her way to her bunk without looking up irked that she couldn't brush her left side properly. "Speaking of the devil." Doc whispered to the huddled group motioning to the oblivious new comer stuffing things on a back pack. "Who wants to ask her?" He asked.
Without hesitation, Max Brutto grinned remembering that he was still a point below her at verbal combat. "Hey Anderson-" He called out, "-didn't know you were a romantic. Long walk on the beach at sunset in a hot date with Gossard." He taunted.
"Oh yeah, I was so sweet, I made him cry." She replied flatly swinging the pack over her right shoulder. "Men are so easy." She gave the huddled troopers a caddish smile.
"Hey-" Brutto was about to yell out when Dizzy elbowed him instead.
"So what's wrong with him?" The red head asked waving off the boy's incoherent yelling.
The trooper shrugged. "He's trying to deal with losing a girl. Do you want me to go into details on their relationship?" She said offhandedly walking towards the door. "They were very close if you know what I mean. Him being--." The girl gave them an interesting half smile.
Doc waved two hands in the air shaking his head. "No. Don't even go there." He answered in disgust. "All we want to know is if he's ok." He specified the question before the trooper could tell them about Gossard's apparent love life.
Andy shrugged again amused by how the other troopers were acting. "That depends..." She winced looking at the ceiling like something interesting just popped out.
"On what?!" Rico exclaimed.
"Well, L.t." She gave the officer a thoughtful glance. "He's with Sgt. Zim." She stated plainly.
The troopers immediately paled at the thought of being with the sergeant alone. They all liked the sergeant, there was no question about that. But it was bad enough dealing with the strict officer as a squad. Nobody could imagine a one on one with the difficult and demanding sergeant.
Especially one named Robert Higgins. "Zim is here?" He managed to blurt out with wide eyes. The girl nodded watching the troopers start to panic. "Oh. No." He paled even more.
"This place is a mess." Carl Jenkins observed picking up an empty soda can from the floor. "He's going to put us to endless sim training if he sees this." And with an exchange of glances with the other privates and the lone medic, the five quickly mobilized to arrange the room back to what it was suppose to look like.
Dizzy smacked the grinning commanding officer as he just lounged on the chair. "You're paperwork." She hissed.
"Yes! Do your paperwork." Andy agreed seeing the groaning lieutenant reluctantly give his chair up. "The power of Zim. Amazing." She mumbled to herself as the room slowly took shape.
"I graduated school and there's still homework." He complained marching out of the busy squad room to head for his office. He shuffled dejectedly through the halls thinking about Gossard's plight. The mechanic was acting odd because of a girl? He smiled to himself knowing that love could make do crazy things-- like jump off a cliff or confessing in the middle of a rescue. Noted of course, was the fact that it was a gallant rescue. That's when he suddenly stopped. "Gossard doesn't have a girlfriend." He told himself. In fact, none of them had time to have a relationship. That's why his own romance with Dizzy Flores had to be put on hold. Johnny Rico realized that the younger trooper had just played them all without any of them noticing. He replayed the conversation in his mind noticing that the only real concrete thing she said was that Gossard was with Zim and Zim was in the Tesca base. But he knew that the girl wasn't the type to lie.
He shook his head clearing his thoughts. He would have time to question Private Anderson later. The others were right. She did know something. But right now, there was a pile of papers on his desk that had his name on it and he'd be damned if he had Zim yelling at him for neglecting his duties. Death by papercut sounded so much better.
--
Note: All bow to the power of Zim.
