Thank you to everyone who's been reading. It means so much to me.


"It's been a week," Tate said, rolling the ball across the floor. "And I haven't used. Not once. You should be proud."

Beauregard smiled as he rolled the ball back to his brother. He nodded, then made a gesture to his hair. Tate knew what he meant.

"Yeah," he said, trying not to laugh. He rolled the ball back. "Julie is my inspiration."

Beau started laughing as the ball sped back. "Julie."

"Well," Tate said, as their game continued. "She's pale with long brown hair. Her eyes are dark, and she has a pretty smile. She's really smart and nice. We meet up every night at the park and go for walks, and when the moonlight hits her face, she glows like an angel."

Beau laughed again and patted his chest softly. "Tate love Julie?"

"Maybe," he said, averting his eyes from the boy in the corner. He blushed. "I think about her all the time. I even dream about her."

His face slackened. He remembered the last dream he'd had about her.

She was stretched out beneath him, on his bed. They were having sex, and it was the most glorious thing Tate Langdon had ever imagined. He reached down with his right hand as his left held her wrists together above her head; unable to control himself and knowing with an excited terror what was going to happen next. He produced a knife and brought it up for her to see. She looked from the knife to Tate in a hazy confusion; too caught up in ecstacy to comprehend his intensions. He brought it to her throat slowly, relishing in the growing panic of his victim. She was crying, trying to pull herslef out of his iron grip.

"No," her voice was weak and sad. "Please, don't do this, Tate."

"Shh," he had whispered, pulling his hand back. He stroked her quivering lips with his thumb in a loving gesture. "Let me save you."

Her eyes shut and she sobbed quietly, accepting her fate. His mind went to a soft place, full of static and far away from where he was. He brought the knife quickly across her throat and her eyes opened wide. She made frightened, gurgling noises, starting to thrash against him once more. The sight of her blood and her sudden movements excited him, and he started to thrust again. Her eyes locked with his as the light finally left them, and he came.

He shivered, as though shaking the memory off of him. He looked back at his brother, who only knew innocence, and pretended to be the brother Beau deserved. "I'm sorry, Beau. Did you say something?"

Beau smiled as if he knew a secret. "Julie love Tate?"

Tate blushed again, before looking morosely back at the floor. "I don't think so. She wants to help me. She deserves far better than me."

Beau stood and shambled over. He smiled. "Beau love Tate."

Tate reached out and held his brother tight. "I love you too, buddy. Now I have to go do my homework, but I'll be back up to play tomorrow, okay?"

He let go and walked to the door. Beau scrambled after him as far as he was able.

"Mama," Beau said hopefully.

Tate sighed and hid his sadness. He smiled instead. "I'll tell her to come up right away."

Hours later and Constance had finally come home. By then Beau was hysterical and couldn't be calmed, so Constance left him there. Adelaide, in concern for her little brother, begged her mom to let Beau out. This did nothing but sentence her to a night in the mirror room.

The screams had grown so loud and consuming that Tate began to think they were coming from inside him. The wordless cries of his siblings went through him and racked him with hated himself for not trying to help them; for being too weak to save them. He knew that trying to help them would only make matters worse for all of them; he'd tried before.

He paced around his room and chewed on his nails, trying to think of something to take his mind off of the crying. He tried turning up his radio and stomping around, to block out the noise. Then he heard Addie cry for him, and it tore at the very core of him.

He sat at his desk, glancing at the drawer that held his stash. He felt the familiar burn in his nostrils just by thinking about it. He pushed the thought away and looked for something else. His siblings were suffering and he wasn't going to be selfish. He instead pulled a razor out of another drawer and set it out. He rolled up his sleeve, then stopped. He gently touched his right wrist, remembering the promise he had made.

He turned down the stereo and picked up the phone. It rang quite a while and for a moment Tate wondered if she would answer. She always had until now.
She didn't disappoint him. There was a click and then a somewhat annoyed, "Hello?"

Tate wasn't sure what to say. He tried to think of the right words without sounding weak. He heard Addie and Beau's cries echo through the phone.

"Who is this?" Julie's voice was frightened. He hated it. Then Addie cried for him again and he knew Julie had heard. "Tate?"

"Yes," he said softly, trying hard to not let her hear the tears that threatened to betray him.

"The park, now," she said quickly. "I'll be there waiting."

He only heard the dial tone for a moment before he hung up. He ran down the stairs, ignoring the cries and the guilt that he was escaping when they could not.

"Forgive me," he whispered, before he turned and fled.


Hope you guys liked it. I've already started working on the next chapter, so it should be out soon. I normally don't like begging for reviews, but they're the only way I know people like my work, so please? :)