Hey y'all!

Hope you like this so far. It's going to be a hell of a lot longer than expected. Loads and loads of chapters I think, mostly because certain things have to happen and some of those things take a long time! I'd say more but I don't want to give anything away! I wish I could plant some spoilers for this fic oh well. By the way, I AM working on the Digimon Philosophical Institute; the simulator is acting up and won't work right. You guys can help me out if you want, even if you don't know anything about Digimon. The next topic is what if Tai and Matt really were gay and were going out? I need a bit of fluffy romance or something for the simulator to process. Please help me, I'm lost. Okay now that that's out of the way I think I should rant about Harry Potter, but since I want to write his chapter I'll just say that he's awesome and he's the coolest. Read Kage no Kokoro, a fellow author. She's got some good CCS stuff and if you like unusual pairings, read her Yue/Madison! Yay! And also this chapter will be longer than the others, yay!, so enjoy!

p.s. I know this is a yamazaki/syaoran, but yamazaki doesn't love syaoran yet! Remember that, it's a gradual thing, hence the many chapters to come. And this is from Zachary's point of view, so what he notices, we notice. These are pretty much his thoughts. This is not my opinion at all, even if I do sometimes agree with it. Okay? ja

I will write the story now.



The flash of light ends and my vision fades back into clarity. Dazedly, I notice I'm still holding Li, who begins to struggle. I twist around, trying to keep my hold on him, when two cards fall out of my pocket. Two? The Return is there--I glimpse it as it flutters to the floor--but the second card lands face up on top of it. "Sleep?"

Li struggles harder. "Let me go! I have a right to kill myself if I want to! Release--" A tiny fairy-like creature flies out of the card and waves her wand in front of Syaoran's nose. She giggles and he goes limp, and his breathing evens out. Return appears as well, nodding approvingly at my Li. Then she motions towards my bed.

"I think he will be more comfortable there."

I nod dumbly. Stripping him to his boxers--they are a faded green, matching his hair perfectly--I lay him in the bed, tucking the coverlet up to his neck.

"You should join him; he will need comfort tonight, and," the figure glances at me, "you need to rest." Sleep gleefully starts towards me, but Return grabs her with one hand and holds her fast. "He is tired," the larger says, "He will sleep on his own." The fairy holds her arms indignantly, growling slightly.

"Arigato." I say thankfully. Return motions once again to the bed, which now holds a slumbering Syaoran. He doesn't look right, like he's sleeping under a spell. Which, I remind myself, he is. Stripping to my own boxers--black like my hair--I slide in next to my friend and slip my arms around his waist to make sure he doesn't try anything during the night.

Dimly, I notice Return tidying the room a bit before she and Sleep transform back into cards. I mumble goodnight, my eyes close, and I instinctively draw Syaoran closer.

Syaoran…

*dream*

The radio tower. Strange things floated through the air.

(Mystical pinging sound)

Cards? He caught one. A strange gold sign sprawled itself over a pink background. I know these. He turned it over. A winged heart seemed to soar endlessly. He glanced at the wording on the bottom. Love? Ai?

(mystical pinging sound)

His head jerked up as he became aware of something. He gasped as he realized what it was. That boy. He's here again. There, on top of the radio tower. As usual, the boy had his sword, and stood listlessly, leering at him through the shadow that covered his face. No! Not again.

(Mystical pinging sound)

The boy grinned dryly, an out of place gesture. No. Not again.

(Mystical pinging sound)

The boy in shadows swung his sword forward and grasped it in both hands with determination. Not again, please kami, no.

(Mystical pinging sound)

NO! I charged toward him, knocking the sword aside. Together, we soared off the roof and fell, screaming.

The Love Card fluttered behind us, torn by the wind.

*end dream*

I wake, for once not covered in sweat; it takes me a minute to realize where I am and why I have someone in my arms. Glancing at the face, haloed by the soft moonlight flowing in from my window, I see Syaoran. Then everything comes back to me. I shudder and pull the boy closer as I remember what he had tried to do.

He whimpers and cries out softly against my chest. He seems to be falling out of the enchanted sleep and into the shaky sleep of the lovelorn.

Wrapping my arms firmly around him, I plant a soft and gentle kiss on the top of his head, in a vain attempt to comfort him. It seems to work for a few minutes. But then it stops, and he clutches at me as if I were his only hope. Maybe I am. Only time will tell and for now, all I can do is hold him and whisper into his hair that everything will be all right. However true or false that statement may be.

I don't go back to sleep, though I'm still tired. I try my best to comfort him throughout the rest of the night and when daylight arrives, I get up and rummage in my closet for a pair of clean sweats. Slipping them on, I lay a pair out for Li--gray like my own--and on second thought, I add a baggy t-shirt to the sweats. Not everybody likes to run around half-naked on a brilliant spring Saturday.

I curl the blankets around my Syaoran and head downstairs. I hate to leave him but he's sleeping peacefully enough--as if last night's tremors and cries never existed—and I might as well have some breakfast ready for Sleeping Beauty.

In the kitchen, the first thing I notice is Li's robes hanging on the doorknob of the cellar door. Attached is a note reading: Take good care of him. P.S. Dry-clean only. It isn't signed. I can only guess it's from the Return Card.

On the kitchen table is another note reading: Dear Son, gone to work early, have fun with your friend, I'll be back in time for dinner, nikuman in the freezer, 3 minutes on high, eat whenever, ja ne, Dad.

Checking the freezer confirms the presence of frozen nikuman, which I pop in the toaster oven, and I put water on to boil. Digging around in the cupboards produced two cups of Instant Ramen. As I placed them on the table, Syaoran wandered down the stairs, rubbing at his red, puffy eyes. He looks kind of cute.

I guide him to a chair and have him sit, placing a plate in front of him. The toaster oven bings--yes, it bings--and I put two of the nikuman on his dish and one of the cups of Instant Ramen a bit to the side and pour some hot water into it from the pot--I daren't heat water to the point of boiling anymore, the last time I did, I actually burned the water. He stares unseeing at the food while I stick a spoon in the cup of soup and begin to stir it absentmindedly.

"Why did you stop me?"

"Huh?" I jerked out of my daze and back into the real world.

"Why did you stop me from killing myself?" How can he be so blunt about it?

"Animal instincts, when I see someone in danger, I rush in to rescue them. Dear kami, I'm only kidding!" I say when I see his face harden. Kneeling down, I rest my hand on my shoulder, "Look Li-san, you're one of my friends. If you died, I'd--I'd--HELL I don't know what I'd do," He trembles and I kiss the side of his head, just above his ear--hey, it worked last night--"It seems my verbal skills have left me in this time of need. Lousy blackguards. . . " I trail off as a single tear trickles down his cheek.

"She doesn't love me. She doesn't love me. . ." he mutters over and over.

Oh, my poor, poor Syaoran. I gather him in my arms and carry him to the couch in the other room. He huddles against me, curling up on my lap, and continues his muttering as if I'm not there. I don't think he's aware of me anymore. I rock him back and forth, occasionally giving him comfort kisses.

Then he breaks down. The boy doesn't. . . how should I say this? He doesn't mourn well, I suppose. He doesn't wail or shriek or even make much noise at all. Tremors shake his slender frame as he whimpers and sniffles, clinging to me with all his might, with his eyes squeezed shut and rivers of tears. I whisper what I hope are soothing things into his hair, applying comfort kisses where needed.

Eventually he calms and I lean back, my eyelids heavy. Tightening my grip on him I drift into a dreamless sleep while he rests against my chest.

TBC yay!

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