A/N: Tsub here, and heeereee is chapter 3! So, unfortunately we're not getting in many reviews, which makes us and Fran sad pandas. We can see that a lot of people are reading, but not reviewing. Please, even if it is something around 'liek uber funniez LO1', that would brighten our dim, dim days. :D Anyway, I'm sure if you're reading this up to now you know what you have gotten yourself into so need I say more?
Warnings: Language, Violence, Future Lemon, Future Yaoi, Drug-use, somewhat Non-con (HE SO WANTS IT), major, major OOCness (like OH EM GEE), Crack couples, This story does not make sense, and generally Insanity.
Disclaimer: WE DO NOT OWN REBORN, Taco Bell, Paris Hilton, Republicans, Malcolm in the Middle or Mentos! (UM. IF YOU ARE A REPUBLICAN, NO OFFENSE KAY THANX?)
Fran's Magical and Moose-Filled Journey of Wonder and Joy.
Or Something Like That.
Chapter 3
So now it was Bel's turn to go on a magical and hippo- filled amazing adventure of wonder and blood. Sure it was a bit more crude than Fran's journey, but the prince thought it worked. After hundreds upon thousands upon millions of seconds of searching, Bel finally found the dancing hippo's magic smoked filled lair.
"So this had been that fatso's plan all along, huh? Shishishi. Well I'll teach him to steal my un-cute kouha- slave." As the prince walked into the purple ditch, it did not take him but two seconds to come running out with and unconscious Fran in his arms. Suddenly there was a loud explosion and the two were blasted back into their bedroom window. As Bel landed on his bed, he blinked, confused.
"Well that worked rather well…" It was just then that Fran woke up. When he did, his eyes went wide and he began to flail around tirelessly.
"Ah! Get the fuck away you stupid giant hip- Oh… " He blinked. "Its just sempai…" His obnoxious monotone voice was back.
"Tch… that's no way to thank your master for saving you, slave." Fran blinked then held up his thumb, his face expressionless.
"Good job." And then Bel dumped him on the floor.
"Idiot. To make up for being such a terrible servant you're going to indulge me and make my every wish come true." Fran swallowed hard. This couldn't be good, especially with the authoress laughing at his last action, realizing what she wrote. Bel grinned, his pearly, white teeth sparkling as he sat back against the wooden headboard of his King sized bed. "Now strip."
Fran blinked. What should he do? According to his character he should stare blankly and oppose. But...well this was some predicahappenstance he had here. Twitching slightly, the boy took a deep breath and pulled off the large frog thing. Well that was a relief. But, now he had to move onto something bigger. Fran took off his shoes.
"There, happy sempai?" He asked with that emotionless voice. Bel growled and threw a knife at him, which Fran gracefully dodged since he took ballet lessons every Wednesday.
"Are you stupid?! All of it!!"
Fran blinked again.
"But...what else do I take off?" Bel slapped a hand to his face.
"You are just loving this, aren't you?"
"Whatever are you talking about, sempai?"
Bel raised another knife, so Fran rolled his eyes and stopped playing dumb. The boy then proceeded to remove his shirt and pants. He made sure to put his pants down nicely as his stash was packed neatly in the pockets. Hey, when you're living in this house, you sure as hell need it. Following that he then took off, yes, GASP, his socks. How crude. The prince tapped his foot impatiently on the floor.
"And...?" Fran blushed and turned away his face.
"Ah, please don't, you perv-"
Another knife was thrown.
"Okay, okay!"
And he slowly removed the last bit. He snorted. If only he had his moose half now, oh Bel would be sorry..
Unfortunately Bel was not in the least bit sorry for his actions. And so Fran stood in the coldness of his room, and watched unhappily as Bel frowned at him. Through no one would know it, because those big giant obnoxious sunglasses were on his face, he was actually scanning Fran's body up and down with a most unpleased expression.
"S-sempai?" Bel shook his head.
"No. Something's not right." Fran could feel his blush deepening. What was this stupid prince talking about?
"What do you-"
"Put the hat back on." Fran blinked, all-well most-traces of his embarrassment leaving.
"Huh?" Bel shifted slightly to lean against the wall and fully face the boy.
"Are you stupid? The hat, the big round giant frog head shaped thing sitting on the floor. Put it back on."
"B-but..."
"No buts froggy. I told you always to wear it and now is no exception." Fran sighed; he was never going to win this so he might as well give up. It wasn't really cold anymore but he really didn't mind so much wearing the hat, he always did anyway...but the hat was way over there, on the floor, far away, where his hands couldn't reach from a standing position. Yeah...Fran really didn't want that hat.
"S-sempai...you have strange fetishes."
Bel was going to run out of knives at this point. Fran looked from the hat to Bel, to the hat, and back a few times.
"Sempai, what if I told you I actually don't speak Italian, but I've been making it up all along and I don't have a single id-"
"GET THE FUCKING HAT!!!!"
Fran supposed things would get ugly...er. He took a deep breath, sucked his stomach in, and bent over. The only way he could get through this humiliation was to sing a song in his head. Now what was it on Malcolm in the Middle again?...Oh yes... ~Mentos, the freshmaker~ and somehow it could make all the bad things in the world go away. Like AIDS, Bel, Taco Bell, Paris Hilton, Republicans, Bel, and lice. Did he say Bel?
Well if he didn't, it worked for that stupid prince too, and as he continued to hold his breath, Fran placed the bulbous helmet back on his head. The thing is, the boy was so into the song now, he had forgotten to let out his breath.
"Shishishi. That's much better-Hmm? You're turning blue Froggy.... shishishi. How stupid...you forgot to breathe." Now, Bel thought about taking out a knife and chucking it at the boy to get him, however there were two problems. He had already thrown all his knives at the boy, and, well his second choice was a lot more fun. Getting up from his bed, Bel walked over to the still spaced out boy, and grinned widely. Slowly the prince grabbed a large bucket of water and threw it in Fran's face. The boy gasped as the cold liquid stung against his skin and he blinked several times before focusing on Bel and realizing what had happened.
"Thank you sempai." Bel laughed and then Fran noticed how close the other was to him.
Bel made a quick look up and down his body. He smirked.
"You look good drenched in water."
Fran blushed.
"But I could get pneumonia..."
The prince rolled his eyes.
"Excuses, excuses." The blond then placed a hand on the other's chest, Fran flinched. Then, the second authoress had no idea how to continue the crack, so she used her magical authoress powers to make Xanxus walk in at that very moment. She knew she would be bashed soon.
"Hey guys, have you seen my aquamarine crayon? I know you were in my crafts room and I really need it to make my ocean pr-"
He stopped.
He stared.
Second Authoress laughed.
And Bel froze.
"Um...you see, Fran was drowning. That's why he's wet.... And it was in the bathtub...That's why he's naked...So I had to uh...give him CPR." Bel threw him on the floor and proceeded to pound his chest-not knowing what he was doing-and give him mouth to mouth. But uh, he got caught up in that part and forgot what he was trying to accomplish. Fran was not pleased.
Kicking and flailing, Fran managed to freak Xanxus out enough to make the man want nothing more than to leave.
"Right...well just make sure you get your life guard certificate renewed. I don't think you're doing it right." With that Xanxus left muttering about idiots and maybe getting swimming lessons for his family or how maybe Squalo could teach them because he was a fish anyway... or something like that, I don't really know. Anyway, so Bel continued to try and revive Fran, even though he had been trying to kill him in several ways earlier and the frog figured he would just never understand the stupid fallen prince. Finally Fran was able to push the stupid blond off of him and moved away quickly. Hugging his knees to his chest, Fran rocked back and forth before looking up at Bel.
"You're a rapist sempai."
"Shishishi, it's more fun that way. But I'm a prince so on one would refuse me anyway. Therefore, it's always consensual." Fran blinked.
"S-sempai, I don't think that's how it works..."
"Besides, I was saving your life."
"But I wasn't drowni-"
"SAVING...your life." Froggy sighed. This was obviously a losing battle.
"Well is there a reason I taste chocolate right now? Hmm?" Fran shook his finger "You're a diabetic, Xanxus forbid you sweets."
Bel growled. "I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT!"
"You're such a child."
The prince was growing impatient, and he didn't think that the mentos song would work for him. So, instead of acting reasonable he simply jumped Fran and started to make out with him. Now the poor frog boy had no idea how to react to this sort of thing. He had never actually kissed another person before-Well, that fat chick didn't count in his point of view. There had been many an opportunity though, with his dashing good looks and molestable appearance. But being Fran, he simply thought it a gross and unnecessary procedure. Especially since most of the people had been creepy perverts and Pedo Bear that now lives under his bed even though he insists that he's over twenty. Anyway, nobody believes him when he tries to tell them about it so he gave up a while ago.
But that was getting off topic. So as Bel continued to suck on his face, Fran tried to focus on not being taken complete advantage of. The prince's tongue was slimy, the kiss was wet, and Fran would be sticking to his statement that kisses were gross and unnecessary. But maybe, just maybe if he went along with, if he acted like he consented to such actions, Bel would get bored and stop. Putting his hands on the blonds shoulders Froggy leaned into the kiss as he began to reciprocate the actions. He would get his right. If he acted clingy enough Bel would get turned off. It was worth a try at least...if it didn't work, well, he didn't want to think about that. So as Fran let Bel's name escape his parted lips he wondered when this story had taken a turn down smut road.
Bel wasn't surprised when he felt Fran kiss him back and moan his name. After all...he was Belphegor. A prince. Who could deny him? And Fran wanting him made him even more turned on. The blond let his hand wander down and grasp a certain place rather hard. The blunette had forgotten he was naked. His eyes shot open and he violently pushed Bel away. Well...That plan failed. The prince frowned.
"Hey. Why'd you do that? It was going so well.."
"Well...I...uh...I have AIDS."
....
Bel blinked.
"So...you're not a virgin...?"
Fran smacked his face.
"Didn't you just hear me? I have AIDS!"
The prince shook his fists.
"WHO WAS IT? WHO WAS IT DAMNIT?!!"
Silence.
Mumble...
Bel squinted his eyes.
"What was that?"
Fran rolled his eyes.
"Oh nothing...just RASIEL!"
The prince gasped.
"OH YOU WHORE"
Fran couldn't help it; he burst out laughing-Bel's face was just too funny. Bel frowned as he realized his mistake.
"You're lying, aren't you?" Fran nodded though his fits of uncharacteristic laughter.
"You FUCKER!" Tackling Fran for the umpteenth time that day, Bel once again began to strangle the boy.
A/N: So yeah….R&R….and you win… a frog. *holds up a frog* Isn't he cute?
