Well erm.. New chapter. Thank you so much for all the reviews on the last chapter. This one isn't that good but here you go anyway.
Previously:
''Don't fucking look at her'' Taylor snapped as my eyes darted to her as she grabbed my wrist pulling me away as I cried out trying to get my wrist free from her grip.
''Taylor let go of her, can't you see your hurting her'' Alex said looking at me worried.
Taylors grip instantly released me as I looked up to Alex before walking off down the hallway ignoring the calls from her.
I wanted to be alone, that's where I belonged. That's where I wanted to be. That way I couldn't get hurt even more. If no one knew me, if no one cared things would be easier for everyone so that's what I planned to do. I would carry on like this, like I always had. It was best for everyone that way. Less questions being asked and less answers needed. That's how everything should be; quiet.
Mitchie's POV:
Not much had happened with Alex since then. I didn't expect anything to. I mean, people always cared too much about what people thought about them to do what was actually right. That was the thin line separating people from friends and strangers, another person who you met along the way in your life. They were just passers, they walked in and walked out just as quickly but this wasn't the case. I still saw Alex at school... She still saw me, but we were forever drowning in the pressure of being what was expected of us.
It was now Wednesday; two days had passed since what happened with Alex and Taylor in the hallways. My so called dad still hadn't returned, leaving me alone in the house. It felt out of place without him here, don't get me wrong I was glad he wasn't here but it was like a routine for me by now. The fact that things were going to come crashing down even harder from his long absence also flowed through my head. This was long for him, he normally only disappeared for a day or so at a time, it had nearly been 3 now and something bad was definitely going to happen when he returned.
I sighed walking out of the house into the brisk wind that morning to go to school. Things weren't getting better there, if anything they were getting worse. Taylor and her group of friends were constantly there to remind me of how worthless I was; the statement that was already engraved into my mind being pushed deeper by their voices ringing in my ears. They had made it their goal, to put me down but they didn't seem to realise it was way past that. It was too late for them to have any major effect. The damage had already been done long before I even met them.
I was torn from my thoughts as usual by the ringing of the school bell. I got so caught up in my own head I didn't even notice the passing world around me. I didn't even know I had reached school... Not that it really mattered; no one else seemed to notice me either. I stuck by myself, trying not to get in anyone's way. I kept my head down, heading to my homeroom and taking my usual seat in the corner. I liked it here, it felt like I was invisible to the world; no one ever looked over here.
Sadly that moment didn't last long; the whole day was filled with Taylor and her posse continuing to make my time at school hell. I didn't even bother with saying anything back anymore. I just stood there and let everything sink in; an open target waiting to be struck, an opportunity that should never be missed and no, they didn't let the chance go. They took a shot, every time they could.
I was 'home' now. Sat anxiously by the door just staring and waiting, the ticking of the clock being the only sound to break the silence. This is what I did most days, just waiting around for the next move. Like a pawn in chess, or a puzzle piece, you are always the one being controlled. You don't get a say, you have to go with whatever fits or whatever move you are forced to make; the move that was about to come sooner than expected but still later than usual.
The front door swung open, creaking as it did so. Revealing him stood there, his eyes were bloodshot and I could tell from how he was stood that he was already far past drunk. His eyes scanned the wall before he reached his hand up flicking the switch as the white light suddenly filled the room as he looked around, his eyes eventually landing on me. I didn't bother to move or run. He would find me either way, it just made things worse like that.
He staggered into the room watching me as he did so. I got up from the chair instantly coming face to face with him, his breath reeking of alcohol as usual. I stared into his eyes as he stared right back almost like he was looking into my soul. He wasn't doing anything and I wasn't just going to sit around and wait like a pet. I turned to walk away before he grabbed my wrist harshly spinning me around to face him as he smirked.
''Where are you going?'' He slurred out.
''No where...'' I said slowly. I wasn't lying; I really had nowhere I was able to go.
''DON'T LIE TO ME'' he shouted becoming angry instantly as darkness filled his eyes. Anything would piss him off, one word or no words at all a simple look or sound is all it took to set him off.
''I w-'' Before I even had time to respond I was thrown to the floor as he towered over my body staring down at me.
''SHUT UP'' With that came the first blow to my side as I cried out rolled over clutching my stomach. ''YOU NEED TO LEARN SOME MANNERS'' He shouted again kicking me again but harder as I actually jolted across the floor. I sat up from the spot, looking to where he once stood to only see him quickly approaching me as he grabbed my hair pulling me up so I was staring into his eyes. He grabbed my chin forcefully in his hand stopping any movement. ''Now listen closely'' He spoke lowly. ''You'll do everything I fucking say from now on'' He pulled me down towards the basement door as he threw me down the stairs. I screamed as my body spun around, crashing into each step harshly before I finally tumbled to a stop at the bottom, my head throbbing as a warm liquid trickled down the side of my face whilst my whole body ached.
He quickly followed down behind me before dragging me across the room to the mattress which was situated in the corner. He removed my shirt before throwing me down on top of it and reaching for the buckle on his belt. He slid it through the small's rings quickly as he looked down at me.
''Pl-'' I began to spoke before he brought the leather strap down hard on my exposed skin as I screamed tears building in my eyes. He did this again with every sound that escaped my lips before he kicked my side again making me roll over whimpering slightly which only resulted in it being brought down on my bare back as I cried out again. I tried my best to block everything out from then on, as he continued to bring the hard leather down on my back with the slightest movement from me. He put the belt down before removing both our trousers and pants. I shut my eyes tight not wanting to see his face.
I still kept my eyes snapped shut, even with the tears flowing down my face and even when he got up to leave. It wasn't until an hour or so later I eventually moved. Whimpering as I did so. Looking down at my stomach to see the marks already forming, the marks that would leave scars as a constant reminder. I pulled my shirt and jeans on still lying on the floor not wanting to move. I just shut my eyes and laid there all through the night dreading getting up the next day.
Sometimes I wondered if anyone would notice if I actually disappeared. Would anyone take the time to think 'Oh the freak from the back of the class is missing' or 'What happened to that girl who lived across the street' the world was blind to the things going on behind closed doors. They never really understood how simple it was to fake a smile or tell a lie saying your fine. It was one of the easiest things to do, and people accepted that.
I didn't even realise I had fallen asleep until I woke up the next morning. Seeing the light coming through the curtains I quickly jumped up regretting it instantly as pain shot through my entire body. I climbed both sets of stairs slowly heading into the bathroom for a shower wanting to get it other with. The water stung as it hit the red lines on my skin, I bit my lip trying to keep the tears back before I eventually gave up letting them fall freely and stepping out of the shower before walking into my room to change.
I didn't bother with appearance today, trying to fit in. I pulled on a loose plain black shirt before pulling over a loose hoodie over my head trying my best to ignore the pain surging through my stomach and back. I then pulled on a pair of jeans before just pulling my hair into a ponytail. I walked into the bathroom again to see the cut along the top of my forehead. There was no point in trying to cover it up so I just left it walking down the stairs grabbing my bag and straight out the door not even bothering to look back or look at Alex's dad who was stood in their doorway eyeing me suspiciously as I walked past.
I ignored the gazes from students as I walked through the hallways heading straight to the first lesson being late... We had gym. I had gotten out of doing anything the past few weeks saying I had no kit to do it in. Unfortunately that streak didn't last long. I was about to walk straight into the gym to sit and watch when Mr. Thomas stopped me.
''Ahem'' He said putting his arm out as I looked up. ''No kit still?'' He questioned as I nodded. ''Well then it's a good thing I found this for you'' He said as he held up an old shirt with the colour faded and a pair of tracksuit bottoms. ''They should fit you, now go change'' He said shoving them into my arms before he turned me around by my shoulders pushing me in the direction of the lockers.
I walked into the room as everyone fell silent, their gazes flickering to me.
''Ewww look who it is'' Taylor spoke breaking the silence as I just looked down. ''Aww well didn't anyone teach you that it was rude to ignore people'' She walked up to me until our faces were almost touching. I still didn't say anything. ''Be like that then slut'' She said shoving me into the hard lockers behind me as I let out a cry before sliding down onto the floor as everyone walked out the room into the gym until the locker room door swung open as someone else walked in as I was getting to my feet. I didn't look at them. I just turned away pulling my hoodie over my head before I pulled the shirt off. I heard a gasp from behind me.
''Mitchie what the hell!?'' The voice said shocked – It was Alex. I spun around to face her as her eyes now landed on my stomach as she tried to suppress another gasp leaving her lips. I quickly reached for the old faded shirt pulling it over my head.
''It's nothing'' I muttered turning away again.
''Mitchie don't bullshit me'' She snapped as I turned around when she grabbed my wrist. ''Who the fuck did that to you?'' She said with anger in her eyes as I just shook my head. Her gaze softened as my eyes filled with tears. ''Hey, come on don't cry'' She said sadly going to pull me into a hug but I pushed her away whimpering in pain.
''Alex are you in here?'' Taylor's voice rang as she walked in to see the pair of us. ''Oh she's still here'' She said bitterly, the venom in her voice. I just looked at Alex my eyes still glazed over. ''Aww is little baby crying'' She said approaching me pushing me back into the locker as I cried out. I looked over to Alex who visibly had clogs turning in her head as she thought.
''Let go of me'' I said quietly.
''Why should I?'' She smirked about to speak again before Alex cut her off.
''TAYLOR'' She shouted suddenly making her head snap around. ''Get off her'' She said glaring at her. Taylor instantly stepped back from me as she turned to face Alex.
''What's with you Russo?'' She said laughing. ''Please don't tell me you actually care about her''
''Actually'' She started looking over at me. ''I do, so leave her alone'' Taylor scoffed before walking out the room again as Alex stared at me.
''You didn't have to do that'' I said breaking the silence.
''But I did'' She sighed. ''I couldn't sit back anymore''
''They're going to hate you for that'' She shook her head chuckling.
''Please, Taylor's scared of me. They all are. They'll adjust to it'' She smiled weakly. ''You going to tell me who did that to you?'' I questioned.
''No..'' I shook my head as I spoke.
''Why not?'' She took a step forward so we were only inches apart.
''Because... I can't''
''You can't or you won't?''
''I c-can't... I'm S-sorry'' With that I pulled my hoodie on not caring that I was still wearing the gym shirt underneath as I stuffed the other in my bag and headed to the door.
''Don't you trust me?'' She asked making me freeze. ''I'm not going to do anything Mitch, I want to help''
''I can't trust you... You can never trust anyone. I want to, but I can't'' With that I walked out the door not realising that she was following me out.
''Why not?'' She questioned making me jump as I spun around once again to face her seeing her a few steps behind me.
''Because it doesn't matter who I tell, things never change for the better, I've been there and I'm tired of it, I just want to be left alone, it's better than letting people in who are only going to end up hurting you in some way, accident or not. I don't want to go through that again. No one should have to in the first place. Isn't that enough for you to understand? Someone always ends up hurt in the end whatever happens. These things stick with you forever Alex and this'' I said lifting up my hoodie and shirt to show her my stomach covered in red lines before letting it fall again. ''This is nothing compared to what could happen, this isn't the start or the end. It's not like a movie or story, there is no happy ending. It is never ending and there's no way to stop it'' I said all in one breath not realising that tears were now once again streaming down my face.
Alex walked up to me slowly, taking my hands in her own as she stared me in the eyes.
''I get it Mitch, trust me I do. Life isn't one big fairytale. You let your guard down only to end up putting it back higher than ever but I want to help. I don't want you to suffer like this anymore. Please just try, try to help yourself... I swear to you I would never hurt you in anyway... Just let me in'' She spoke reaching up and wiping my tears away with the pads of her thumb.
''I need time Alex...'' I sighed looking down. ''Thing's don't just happen like that''
''I know Mitch, I know. I'll be here though, don't forget okay?'' She asked as I nodded seeing only honesty in her eyes.
''I'll see you later Alex'' I smiled weakly before turning and starting to walk.
''Where are you going? I'll come''
''I just need some time to think... alone'' I called behind me before disappearing around the corner and walking into the school's library going to my usual beanbag chair in the corner where I just sat and thought.
I knew Alex was being truthful when she said she wanted to help. She was a good person deep down, she wanted to help but it wasn't that I was worried about. Getting closer would only mean secrets become harder to keep. It was so easy to get tangled up in your own web of lies before you got so caught up you struggled to stay above them, it was like you were suffocating, drowning in them with no escape apart from the truth but by then it was probably too late.
I mentally weighed everything up in my head. What if Alex did eventually find out, what would see do? But what if she didn't... It was always good to have someone in your life you could talk to or just be around. Someone who you knew would be there and stick with you... but if she didn't stay I'd be lost again. With no one to speak to, seeking refuse in my own mind like I had done many times before... Like I was doing now. Shutting out the world completely and doing nothing but getting lost in your thoughts. A never ending day dream which was full off questions that you tried to answer.
I sometimes thought what would happen if I searched for my mom again... Would she even want to see my face? Or would she just brush me off within our first meeting. Would she even want to know about my past... I don't know if I could handle having to tell my story again to someone. I mean it would always come back to this point eventually, I couldn't just skip years of my life away as much as I wanted to it had happened, it was happening. I mentally sighed to myself, I had always dreamt of having a proper family as a child, I mean it was every kid's dream, to have a perfect family but in reality no one really did.
''Excuse me?'' A women's voice made me jump, making me look up to see the librarian stood there. ''Shouldn't you be in class?'' I just nodded. ''Well then, you better go'' She said giving me a stern look as I stood up before walking out the room in silence and back down the hallways towards the gym. I didn't want to get caught in the halls so had no other choice.
As I was approaching the locker room the bell sounded through the halls signalling the next period. I had been sat in the library longer then I thought. Right at that moment Taylor came bursting out the door as it slammed open. She looked at me shaking her head before walking off down the hall in a hurry. I followed after her slowly heading towards the English classroom. I was surprised to see Alex already sat in her seat next to mine at the back. She smiled at me as I took my seat next to her. I tried my best to smile weakly back at her but it probably came off more like a grimace.
''What's wrong?'' She asked instantly.
''Nothing I've just been thinking about some stuff'' I said shrugging but instantly regretting it as a pain shot through my back as I cried out biting my lip to stop any tears from escaping. Alex just looked at me sadly.
''You really need to get someone to look at that... and tell them who did it to you'' She said sighing.
''It doesn't matter'' I said looking down at the desk as Mr Smith walked into the room telling us all to shut up and get our books out.
''It does Mitch, it really does I me-''
''Russo! Torres! Is there a problem?'' Mr Smith interrupted her.
''Not at all Sir'' She said smirking.
''Then you wouldn't mind sharing with me what you were talking about'' He said smirking right back at her. Alex turned to look at me un sure of what to say at first before she finally spoke up.
''Nah, it really doesn't matter''
''Then it won't really matter if the pair of you stay behind after the lesson will it''
''Nah it won't so I don't have to right?'' She said causing the whole room to attempt to contain their laughter.
''Alex please stop'' I whispered to her seeing the anger building up in Mr Smiths eyes.
''Relax it'll be fine''
''BOTH OF YOU, OUTSIDE NOW'' He shouted as I looked over to Alex who just shrugged getting up grabbing her bag and walking out the door. ''NOW'' he demanded looking at me. I got up slowly after her following her outside to see her leaning against the wall. I walked over to the opposite side of the hallway. It was only a few seconds later when Mr Smith walked out into the hallway, anger still in his eyes. I looked down to avoid his gaze.
''Now then'' He spoke. ''After that I'll see you both afterschool for detention okay!?''
''Whatever'' Alex said as I still gazed down at the floor.
''Miss Torres'' He spoke as I just nodded not realising he was looking at Alex still. ''Mitchie!'' He said louder as I took a step back looking up at him.
''Y-yes Sir?''
''Detention, afterschool'' I just nodded looking over at Alex who had an apologetic look on her face. The three of us walked back into the classroom in silence as we took our seats again at the back of the room as I just stared out the window.
Everything was going wrong. I couldn't go to this afterschool. If I was late back he would be pissed. It was bad enough without provoking him to do anything. Anything that happened only seemed to make matters worse and now again I was left with two options. Skip the detention and go home only to have the same thing happen anyway, risking making matters worse at school or go to the detention... going home to face the unknown wrath from him. I was left standing at the mental crossroads again, with no real safe option. Either way you went... Something was going to come along blocking your pathway and stop you from reaching your destination... It was almost as if walking in circle, a never ending cycle stuck, and a song stuck on repeat.
This is why I asked Alex to stop; I was tired of making decisions in my life which both would end negatively. If she didn't make him angry then I wouldn't be here in the first place, sure it was bound to happen sometime eventually but I didn't want it to be so soon. I was still in pain from yesterday and this was only adding to the problems.
I felt a light tap on my shoulder and looked up to see Mr Smith stood there, the classroom was now empty and Alex was stood in the doorway looking at me worried.
''The lesson is over Miss Torres, but it looks like you weren't paying attention anyway''
''I w-was'' I stammered out lying.
''Come with me'' He said grabbing my arm roughly and pulling me up from my seat and out the door as I struggled against his grip. Images flashing into my head of the amount of times my 'dad' had done this to me. I couldn't stop them coming, they just kept appearing as I shut my eyes trying to block them out. I opened my eyes to see Alex walking next to me with worried eyes as I snapped them shut again trying to stop it.
''No no please no'' I whispered to myself as my head went blank, the scenes fully taking over my head replaying over and over. ''No d-don't'' I said pulling on my arm desperately like I had done before.
''Mitch?'' Alex's concerned voice snapped me out of my mind momentarily as she looked at me confused. ''What's going on?'' I looked at her with panicked eyes.
''No p-please s-stop him. Don't let him again p-please no'' I closed my eyes again as I yanked my arm one final time getting it free this time. I stepped backwards until I came into contact with what I assumed was the wall and slid down to the floor burying my head in my arms.
''Mitchie!'' His voice boomed, echoing throughout my head.
I just shook my head sat there rocking back and forth as tears fell from my eyes. Why wouldn't it stop, it just carried on playing out.
''Make it stop please make it stop'' I whispered as someone touched my arm gently.
''Mitchie? Make what stop?'' Alex's voice drifted into my mind as I looked up at her through blurry eyes, not saying anything just pleading with my eyes. I wanted it to stop.
''Miss Torres?'' Mr Smith now asked bending down and touching my arm. When I looked up at him all I saw was the image, the image of him.
''DONT TOUCH ME'' I screamed out. Looking around to see students stood in the hall watching the scene unfold in front of them. He backed up instantly looking down at me confused as Alex knelt down in front of me blocking my view of anyone. She took my hands lightly in hers as she stared into my eyes.
''Mitch'' She said softly. ''Your fine, no one's going to hurt you okay?'' I continued staring at her as she continued. ''C'mon Mitch, your safe.'' I nodded slowly, as I reached up wiping my tears with the sleeve of my jumper. ''Come on'' She said standing up and pulling me to my feet, she pulled me into a hug, putting her arms around my shoulders being careful not to touch my back. I buried my head in her neck, trying to hide myself from people's curious eyes.
''Alex, take her to an empty classroom until she calms down'' Mr Smith instructed and I felt Alex nod before she guided me down the hall still with her arms wrapped around me awkwardly. She eventually let go when we were alone in a classroom, she stepped back as I just stared at her blankly.
''What was that Mitch? You completely freaked, are you okay?'' She asked all in one sentence.
''I h-he I c-cant'' I stuttered. ''I'm f-fine now'' She just sighed.
''I hate it when you do that. You say it all the time. I'm Fine, why do you keep lying?''
Why did I keep lying? Was she really asking me that question right now? I could stand here for hours on telling her why I lied all the time about how I was. The main reason being it was easier then telling the truth, I mean it always was for me. It was so much easier when people would just accept that as an answer without second guessing the words escaping my mouth but now things were more complicated. After what just happened there was no way she was going to let it go but there was also no way I was going to tell her the truth.
This would have never happened if she just kept quiet in the first place when Mr Smith first asked us what was going on. I know I shouldn't blame it on her but I just needed an excuse, a safety net almost for me to fall on, so I could tell myself it wouldn't have happened otherwise. It gave me a reason to push her away, which was what I was best at. I waited for a valid reason. I was such a hypocrite. One moment I wanted her to stay, to help me but the next I'm looking for everything reason possible to not tell her, to not have her in my life. And once again I end up at the crossroads...
You know it's true what they say. ''Thoughts can leave deeper scarring then almost anything else'' It really was. Your thoughts are what leave you completely destroyed. They pull you apart bit by bit leaving you to fix yourself back together... Only the evidence will always remain there. It doesn't fade, it's just an area you wish you could forget but you can't.
''Are you even listening to me Mitch?'' I stared at her blankly trying to recall if she had said anything. ''You do that a lot too... You completely blank out on me''
''I was thinking...'' I mumble mainly to myself but she still heard.
''About what?''
''Just some things...'' She sighed deeply before turning to face away from me as the door creaked open to reveal Mr Smith.
''Mitchie'' He said cautiously. ''Do you want us to ring your dad so you can go home?'' He asked.
NO! I screamed in my head instantly but not aloud, I didn't want to give anything away. He always told me that if anyone got the slightest idea of what was going on he would kill me.
''No... I'm fine. I just need some space. I'm sorry for freaking out on you''
''Hmm... Let me know if you need anything. Alex, keep an eye on her'' He spoke before walking out the room again closing the door behind him.
Great... Just what I needed. Someone to watch over me. They were treating me like some sort or freak; I knew I was but still. They didn't seem to care about that. He was probably just scared thinking my so called dad would want to try and sue him or something but they seriously had no idea. No idea of the constant torment. No idea of anything, they were clueless of what was going to happen next... I didn't even know myself what was going to happen.
We were all clueless.
WOOO FOR THE HARRY POTTER QUOTE I PUT IN THAT. Okay im good sorry _
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