They weren't high when they first kissed.

Jeremy wasn't in some drugged up, wrecked, emotional state. They weren't drunk; well, there was one of the finest bottles of Mayor Lockwood's stash between them in the grass, but it wasn't anything they couldn't handle. A few swigs every couple of minutes wasn't doing any harm; certainly not enough to push them. Tyler wasn't a raving, distraught, drunken mess over his father. They weren't at a party and suddenly found themselves in a dark corner, and they hadn't been fighting and suddenly found their lips battling for a different kind of dominance.

They were sitting in a clearing, the one with the lake a tiny babbling waterfall. It was that time of neither day nor night, that existence where the water, and the grass, and their skin was covered in a dull orange light. The kind of light that painted everything sienna, and made it all appear to be an old photograph.

With a bottle of whisky between them and very few words it was quiet. They sat with their knees drawn up slightly and their arms resting carelessly on their legs.

This wasn't such an odd arrangement, the two of them. Not anymore. The timeline of after Vicki and before the mayor found them already fighting less. Or fighting the same amount with half the heart. One would walk up to the other, assess, and hold out their offering- a white flag that more often than not took the form of a joint or a bottle. A truce, just for right now, it communicated. Hence the bottle separating them now, but in all honesty Jeremy didn't know why Tyler continued to offer cease fires. He was thinking the war was already over.

He'd been thinking a lot lately.

This night, right then in the near silence, and the smooth wind, the crickets, rippling water, and orange light, Jeremy was thinking. He had no idea what was going through the other boy's mind, but what was going through his own was a familiar thread.

Why?

Why was he so aware of Tyler's body next to his? It was normal to feel a bit of awareness, they were the only humans in the immediate area, but his body shouldn't be heating up this much. He shouldn't be listening so intently to Tyler's breaths, lining both their inhalations up so that they exhaled quietly together, so why is he doing it? Why did his skin feel tight, and why was his heart beating quickly? That odd rhythm that is not enough to be pounding, but enough to be noticeable.

Why did he keep feeling this way when Tyler was around? Why was he always thinking about Tyler? Why does he love the way the boy smells, and admire the way he moves, and itch to touch his skin? Why has this feeling been steadily getting stronger and stronger for months.

Why why why whywhywhywhywhy?

The loop plays in his head so quickly he feels as if he's spinning. He squeezes his eyes shut, and when he opens them again the voice has simmered down, but it's still there, in the back of his mind.

He takes solace in the small blessing, but after a few moments another, new, thought pops into his mind, clear as day.

Why not?

Jeremy thinks he's going crazy.

Well he thinks he should be thinking this, but oddly enough he isn't. He's actually berating himself slightly; why is this the first time this thought has occurred to him? Why is he just now thinking why not? He figures it must be this time of non time and strange light.

He feels awfully calm as he ponders. His heart rate has slowed down, his mind is blissfully quiet and serene. He compares the feeling to those times when he was so deep into the drug scene that he found peace in knowing that he was so utterly and completely fucked. He thinks this is an appropriate feeling to equate it to, because if he does this and fails God knows what Tyler will do, or say.

His change in mood must be tangible because he feels a gaze on his face and turns to see Tyler watching him.

They stare at each other. Not a challenging stare - not their usual sizing up the opponent, or more frequent these days, the 'is my peace offering enough' stare. This one is mildly curious, but somehow Tyler doesn't look puzzled as to why Jeremy is looking at him so intently. It isn't until later that Jeremy realizes that this is because Tyler is doing the same.

The gaze seems to go on forever, and according to a shift in the lighting it has been a while. With time shifting, moving into an hour that actually exists, Jeremy makes his decision.

He looks away and without meeting Tyler's eyes, he carefully reaches down to pick up the bottle of whisky from between them and sets it aside. He moves closer until he can feel Tyler's body heat mingling with his own. He stares at the black and navy stripes on Tyler's shirt, before his eyes move up to the smooth skin of his neck. He keeps his gaze there for a few moments before traveling upwards again to look at his mouth. It isn't in a frown or a grimace. It isn't smiling right then, either. It's a neutral mouth, Jeremy decides.

His eyes flick up to meet Tyler's briefly and surprisingly he isn't shocked to find that they don't harbor any hostility. They are carefully neutral just like the mouth.

His heart is pounding in his chest again, and even though he's in the same pose he was in initially, his body is tight.

He looks back at that mouth, and his stomach jumps. If Tyler was going to push him away he would have done it by now. That's the thought that is playing on a new loop in Jeremy's head as he counts to three (just like he would do as a kid when he was about to do something that terrified him) and moves.

And suddenly, there are no more thoughts. There is no more doubt, or anxiety, or fear because his lips are on Tyler's, and even if Tyler were to push him away now and yell, and threaten, and hit, Jeremy would be fine, because this feels perfect.

It's a soft press of lips. Jeremy meant to touch their lips together briefly and back off, but he can't possibly do that now. Not with this flood of calmness running through his veins - it's near impossible. His eyes have fallen shut, but they flutter when he feels Tyler's lips move against his. It's slow, hesitant, and Jeremy doesn't push. Just waits for him to adjust, because he knows he will adjust, and moments later the movements become more sure, sensual. What a first kiss should really be. Not a violent clash of tongue, and teeth, and snarling.

Jeremy feels like a girl for thinking this, thinking of how first kisses should be. But then again he is kissing a guy... he is kissing Tyler Lockwood... And it was all to confusing to consider now. He'd think about it later.

Right now he would focus on the feel of Tyler's mouth against his. The way their bodies had shifted closer together, and leaned into each other without adjusting their positions too much. The way Tyler took a sharp breath, like his stomach had just dropped quickly, when Jeremy ran his tongue along the seam of his lips lightly, tasting but not entering. The way Tyler smelled clean and fresh, like soap. The way Tyler tasted - like whisky, and rain.

The kiss wasn't too long, a few minutes, and as they pulled away Tyler bites down gently on Jeremy's bottom lip, sucking on it. He lets it slip out of his mouth slowly, and gives it a light kiss before pulling back slightly.

Jeremy keeps his eyes closed as he faces Tyler. His heart was racing, and his body was covered in goosebumps, and his breath was slightly shaky. He needed to open his eyes, he knew that but he didn't want to yet. He didn't want to see the light shifting into day.

A few seconds pass and he still hasn't opened his eyes when he feels Tyler shift, and a forehead is pressed against his. His heart feels so full, so quickly, right at that moment that he lets out a startled puff of air.

Jeremy can feel Tyler moving with him, lining up their breaths perfectly so that they inhale together.

He opens his eyes.

oooooooo

"Do you think we'll ever tell anyone?"

They are lying on their backs on Tyler's bed. It's night and the room is dark, with only the partial moon for light. Jeremy is looking at Tyler's profile bathed in the cool tones of the night sky. They've been lying there for hours, just like this. No kissing, no talking, just laying next to each other, thinking, shifting, breathing. Jeremy's question doesn't disturb the peace as much as he thought it would. His voice came out softer than he had intended.

Jeremy watches as Tyler blinks, and stare at the ceiling. He doesn't answer Jeremy's question and soon, he shuts his eyes.