It seemed as though we were heading towards a lake nearby, Nagi explained that it was just a short walk through the nearby forest. It was now rather late and dark which made me wonder if I should have agreed to come and leave the safety of campus.
Despite my fears I knew it was too late to back out now and even though the guys didn't know it was me they undoubtedly would never allow Akito to come into harms way.
As we walked my eyes kept shifting back to Ikuto, each time my sight rested on him I felt a harsh blow to my heart. I hadn't seen him or any of the guys in so long and now by a miracle we were all together; yet I couldn't even tell them it was me!
All of my pain was slowly turning into anger once more and in turn that had quickly escalated into frustration; despite how much I wanted to- I was unable to confront Ikuto on why he left so suddenly without saying a proper goodbye!
As all my emotions coursed through me, they finally had done a full cycle as they settled once again on sadness. I had thought Ikuto had cared for me! Had I imagined all that? Did I simply delude myself into believing I had become someone important to him?
Stopping for a moment I considered that my turbulent emotions were managing to show on my face and so I quickly shook my head as to dislodge any thoughts that were bound to attract attention, but then it hit me!
I could still investigate as Akito! We were roommates, wouldn't it be natural that I would want to know more about him? Suppose he happened to mention a certain girl he once knew? Wouldn't it be normal for me to ask what happened?! With that I had a plan in motion; I would get to the bottom of it!
We had finally reached the lake and everyone gathered in one spot deciding what to do next. Kukai- who had spied an abandoned ball bobbing up and down nearby in the lake, had a huge grin "I propose we have a football match and the team that looses jumps into the lake!" everyone had seemingly agreed on this idea; all except one, Ikuto had unsurprisingly climbed up into a tree and had his arms behind his head again.
The guys knew Ikuo well enough to have expected this so with no complaints the remainder of us split up; Tadase was with Nagi and I was with Kukai. Tadase was setting up some make shift posts with Nagi whilst Kukai fished the ball from the edge of the lake.
I was stood awkwardly considering what to do when Kukai chuckled "oh I forgot to mention… the losers won't just have to jump into the lake, they will have to do it naked!"
The others laughed however my heart dropped! I knew it was unlikely for my team to lose since Kukai was on it but I couldn't risk it! I backed away from them "errrrm…guys I'm going to sit this one out. Sorry I'm feeling a bit tired from all the unpacking!"
I fully expected them to mock me- especially since it was only after Kukai mentioning us getting naked that I backed out! Though it couldn't be helped-my safety was more important than my pride!
"Fine whatever dude I can beat these two by myself easily anyway" Tadase smiled kindly whilst Nagi shook his head with a competitive grin "don't bet on it, Kukai!" I watched the beginning of the match with pleasant surprise- Tadase and Nagi had improved drastically but Kukai had always possessed undeniable talent.
While the others were occupied with their match, I walked over towards Ikuto hoping to make conversation. "So, are you going to come down at any point?" he shook his head "nah the world is a lot better up here… I can see things more clearly"
I climbed up the tree and sat on a nearby branch. He looked over at me in confusion "can I help you?" I tried to offer a kind smile "well…you just said the world is a lot better up here so I thought I would come take a look" Ikuto closed his eyes with a sigh "do what you want"
I giggled a little- I knew this side of Ikuto well. This was the Ikuto that had something resting on his mid but refused to let anyone past the wall that he made to keep it in. I shuffled a little closer but this resulted in a deep frown being embedded into his forehead. I'm annoying him!
"Ikuto…is there anything on your mind? I mean…we are roomies, you can talk to me if you need to" his head turned away from me "I barely know you- you just sound nosy" I was taken aback but recovered quickly "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to pry…it's just that, I can't help but notice you seem- sad? I like think that I'm a caring person and I want to help anyone who is like that"
The frown had disappeared- but a grin had taken its place "well I guess it would be hard to miss my expressions after all the staring you have been doing" my cheeks burned but I refused to let him phase me. Suddenly, he turned his head to face me. It was the first time our eyes had met directly since I became Akito and my heart wasn't ready for it!
His silent gaze and dark eyes had always stopped my heart- this look had caught me from the very beginning and once more the red had overtaken my cheeks. The frown had returned above his eyes as he sighed and pushed me back a little "move back will you-geez!"
I shuffled back a little whilst my heart rate slowly returned to normal "sorry…I bother you, don't I?" he looked up to the starry sky- I didn't need to look up, I could see each star so clearly reflected in his night blue eyes. Slowly, he shook his head with a small sigh "No. You don't bother me…it's just that…" once again his gaze returned to me, for a moment I considered giving in and jumping into his arms. I turned away from his intense gaze and laughed nervously "it's ok you don't have to force yourself to tell me"
My stomach squirmed as I felt a light touch on my shoulder "I'm sorry Akito, you seem like a good guy and I've been rather cold to you- it's just that…you remind me of someone"
His gaze scrutinised me further whilst I instinctively averted my gaze to avoid detection but despite my efforts, I couldn't help but look back to him "wh…who?"
He smiled sadly with a shake his head "have you ever done anything you regret but knew it was necessary?" My first thought was stopping to pull that guy off the woman-that was until I looked at Ikuto and the others. Did I regret that? now I think about it if I hadn't, I wouldn't be here with Ikuto and the others yet.
"I think we all may face times when we have to do what's for the best whether we want to or not, you may find that something good comes out of it…though what does that have to do with who I remind you of?"
As I observed his calm face in the moonlight, I found myself clutching at my chest as my heart fluttered, he chuckled gently before responding "there was this girl back where I used to live…something about you reminds me of her, although I guess it could just be me imagining things because I just wish I had never left- we all do I guess"
My hand was still clutching at my chest while my heart pounded even faster. Was he talking about me? "you all do?" he pointed at the others below "they all had to leave her too she was as dear to them as she was...no is to me"
I was desperate to know more, I had thought Ikuto's walls would have been impossible to break through as Akito but once again by some form of miracle he had seemingly started to let me in!
"what was her name?" I saw his face pull a slight pained look as he whispered "Amu, I know she must hate me for leaving but I needed to leave" tears had begun to burn away at my eyes why did you need to?!
Unable to stop myself I lost my composure for a slight moment "Did you need to? If this girl was so important to you- what was so important that you needed to leave- did you even say goodbye?!"
Ikuto looked at me incredulously "why are you so upset? It wasn't just my imagination- you really are like her! Always quick to get angry with me, emotional and…" he grabbed my chin and lifted my head up rather harshly whilst pulling his face in close "…and why did you have to even have her eyes!"
My angry eyes were piercing his as he gazed deep into them before scoffing and letting go with another sigh "no, I didn't say goodbye. I couldn't- if I had stayed that long I would have lost my resolve and never left"
Frustration was setting in once again as I urged him further "but why did you need to leave at all? Ikuto's mouth curled into an amused grin "you know I haven't ever really opened up to anyone before-especially a guy I have just met- normally I would tell you to keep your nose out, though I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you"
He laid his head against the tree whilst I shuffled closer in anticipation "I needed to leave her so I could search for my dad…he went missing when I was younger. I am crazy about her, but as long as I had my past eating away at me- how could I think about my future?"
A strong feeling on guilt and sadness twisted itself around my soul as I considered his words "so…how did those guys end up coming along?" I glanced towards the others who were still engrossed in their game before returning my eyes to Ikuto and his solemn expression.
"I never expected that my leaving would cause her so much sadness, so much so that the others came to find me and bring me back to her! Though when I told them why I had left they decided to stay and help me so that I could get home to her quicker but I can't help but be concerned that she is even more unhappy now that the other guys left her too"
Finally! I finally knew why they all left! "you know I don't think she would have been so unhappy if you had explained that to her, she probably would have given you her blessing and waited patiently for you. Maybe what's bothering her is that you didn't tell her anything; not finishing things properly means that she won't know whether to wait for you or to move on- she could even be questioning your feelings for her!"
He looked at me suspiciously but offered another grin of amusement "you know you really sound like a girl" panic was instantly wreaking havoc as I shook my hands violently in protest "I don't think I did! I guess I was trying to sound gentle to cheer you up…or something"
Still feeling the effects of my panic-stricken soul, I carelessly misplaced my hand on the branch, causing me to tumble! My eyes screwed shut in fear as I waited to smash into the floor!
I found myself waiting with scrunched up eyes for the end to come- just as I had done when I saw the dangerous guy approaching me! However once again, I was left relieved as I realised, I had landed on something else...
I slowly looked up to the dark blue eyes that were looking back at me-shimmering like pools of water reflecting the moonlight. Despite making me forget temporarily how to breathe, I quickly remembered when he dumped me on to the floor; nothing like the gentle way he would when I was Amu! "Geez be careful" he groaned while I hastily jumped up laughing "I'm such a clutz, sorry!" he turned around to walk back to the tree before looking back to me with a small chuckle "that might be one more thing you have in common- just who are you?"
My feet started shuffling nervously as I pondered over my answer. Thankfully the guys had started making a fuss which pulled our attention away. Ikuto headed back to the group with me at his heel.
Kukai was laughing nervously "come on guys I wasn't serious! We didn't really have to jump in the lake you know?" Nagi and Tadase stalked closer with huge grins on their faces "come on now Kukai! We all agreed the loser would jump right? You lost so you have to jump in the lake naked!" Tadase chuckled.
"Yeah we shook on it remember?" said a grinning Nagihiko as they both tackled Kukai to the ground play fighting until Kukai finally agreed to jump in. He stripped off to his boxer shorts- shaking violently against the cold night air- he had approached the edge and was seemingly ready to jump in however Ikuto soon cut in "that's not my definition of naked!"
Kukai moaned profusely but before the guys could all gang up on him again, he held his hadns up in defeat-before proceeding to taking his boxers off! Suddenly, I found every star in the sky and every leaf on the tree had become rather interesting; because it was some where to look other than at Kukai's naked body!
I was just observing the shape of the moon when I felt someone grab my wrist and pull me closer towards the lake. I saw that it was Ikuto which once again sent my heart into overdrive "come on new guy we need to make this hell for him!" I focused on a fallen branch that was poking out of the water until I heard the splash then knowing it was safe to look, I saw Kukai's head bobbing while he swam back.
When I turned around, I could see that Ikuto had started walking back by himself so I hurried after him; eager to continue our previous conversation. "hey Ikuto?" he looked back over his shoulders "yo what's up?" I quickened my pace to keep up with him "you mentioned that you all left to find your father what happened with that? How come you all ended up here?"
He sighed with an air of exasperation "that again huh? well we looked around for a bit but I never found any trace of him so I gave up in the end. I figured that Amu was more important to me than a guy who left his own family, but I felt I couldn't return to her just yet! I needed to return having achieved something- otherwise it would have all been for nothing! so I decided to return to my studies. I started college here and the guys just followed me maybe they felt the same way as I did, although to tell the truth I was also a little afraid that I would go home and she would have someone new, or if I went back and she was mad at me and unable to forgive me- I needed to give her a good reason for leaving and to show her it wasn't for nothing and so here we are...satisfied?"
I looked down to the floor, in truth I wasn't satisfied; I was angry at him! I thought he knew me so much better than to think I could ever stay mad at him! Falling into a quiet state of anger on the way back, I was too mad to laugh when the others caught up laughing madly at the still shivering Kukai. Not wanting to show the anguished look on my face , I walked a little further behind them glaring at the handsome back of Ikuto.
