OH LIGHTNING WHY

Lightning: Oh Jude, as fun as this is, you don't DO IT HARD ENOUGH!!

Jude: You remember what happened last time!!

Lightning: Please just try for me.

Jude: Alright... *tries harder and doesn't die*

Jude: Hey! Hey I did it!

Lightning: Oh you did it alright...... *licks lips seductively* I want another.

Jude: What if you get pregnant?

Lightning: So? I won't be marrying Odin so it won't matter.

A WEEK LATER, LIGHTNING MARRIES ODIN AND FINDS OUT SHE'S PREGNANT.

THE HOSPITAL

Odin: Lightning PUSH!!

Lightning: *grunts* I... I CAN'T!!

Odin: PUSH WOMAN!!!

Lightning* AAAAAAAAAAAGGHH!!! *baby pops out*

Nurse: congratulations! Its a boy!

Lightning: Did she call my baby an it?

Odin: Where's his metal parts?

Lightning: *bites lip* Odin... I gotta tell you something....

Odin: *Turning red* WHAT.....

Lightning: I had an affair with Jude.

Odin: DIE YOU LITTLE DEMON DIE!!!!!!

Nurse, Lightning: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!!

Baby: GA GA GA!!!

Odin: SHUT UP YOU BROUGHT TERROR TO ME LIGHT!!

Lightning: Cool. Is it divorce time?

Odin: Yep.

Jude: OMG ITS A BOY!!

Lightning: He's your son too.

Jude: *faints*

Odin: You kept secrets from me.... I HATE you.

Lightning: Odin....

Odin: No don't ODIN me!

Lightning: I'm sorry.

Odin: Don't give me that.

Lightning: FINE WE'LL GET DIVORCED AND I'LL MARRY JUDE!!

Nurse: Who is Jude? *Light and Odin stare at the nurse* Oops uh... sorry....

THE NEXT DAY THEY GET DIVORCED AND LIGHTNING IS DATING JUDE

JUDE'S HOUSE

Lightning: I hate Odin. I wish he would go to h-

Jude: NOT IN FRONT OF JACOB!! (baby's name)

Lightning: Did you just yell at me?

Jude: No.....

Lightning: I want a divorce!

Jude: FREAK!!!

Lightning: What did you say?

Jude: Nothing.... *Lightning slices him in half and summons Odin*

Odin: What?!

Lightning: I'm sorry Odin.

Odin: Don't give me that.

Lightning: But...

Odin: I SAID don't give me that.

Lightning: *cries* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Odin: Lightning..............

Lightning: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Odin: Light.........

Lightning: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

Odin: ALRIGHT!! We'll get married!!

Lightning: Really?!

Odin: Yes Lightning. I love you. *Hugs and kisses Light's face*

Lightning: I LOVE YOU TOO!!