Excel salutes before Lord Ilpalazzo's throne. "Hail, Lord Ilpalazzo! Your
Excel has returned from her ultra violent, difficult, courageous, mind
numbingly, pain staking task!"
"Excellent. So where are the goods?" demands Ilpalazzo.
Excel presents the grocery bag, "The convenience store wasn't very convenient for Excel as they were out of the soda you like. However she was able to get for 1% off this oversized novelty jug of cod liver oil!" Excel tears out of the bag the jug, which is three times her size.
Without warning Ilpalazzo tugs on a rope, opening the floor beneath Excel. Excel screams and rants as she falls. "EXCEL IS SORRY LORD ILPALAZZO! EXCEL IS FALLING ONCE AGAIN! HER SKIN IN SLIDING UP HER BONES! DOES HER MEDICAL INSURANCE COVER THIS? AAAHHHH."
Ilpalazzo sulks in his throne, "I really wanted some Strawberry Fizz too.damn. Now what I am I supposed to do with all that disgusting oil?"
Excel promptly returns, puffing and panting. Her bones hold her skin in one hand, "Excel was planning to lose some weight, thank-you oh sexy, bishie one for saving me the trouble!"
"No problem Excel. Now for today's mission you are to.do you hear something?"
"Excel's mission for today is to hear something?" She tilts her head up, her ear widening. "Hmm. Excel can only hear her little heart beating and the deep, manly voice of her Lord Ilpalazzo."
"SUUUUUUURRRRRFFFFF'S UUUUUUUUUPPPPPP!"
"Ne? Ne?" Excel blinks.
A mini version of Excel crashes from nowhere, kicking Excel to the ground, she slides along the marble flooring, using Excel as a surfboard. She slides in, in front of Ilpalazzo's throne and gives him the V sign. "Hail Daddy!"
Ilpalazzo rubs his chin, "Can I help you, young lady?"
"I am Chibi-Cel, your daughter from the near future!" She replies, bouncing all over Excel's stiff body.
Excel growls, kicking her off, suddenly holding out Menchi, "Hah, such an obvious attempt to infiltrate the secret ideological organization of ACROSS! But Excel and her emergency food ration, Menchi, see through your evil, twisted plot! Prepare to die, impostor kid! Bwuahahaha!" Dark clouds form behind the oh so menacing Excel Excel.
Ilpalazzo takes Chibi-Cel's hand, "What an energetic and cute child I shall have."
The clouds move above Excel and begin to shower above her head.
"Chibi-Cel, as my daughter, I shall make you second in command. Therefore you are Excel's senior and have all rights to make her life as much a living hell as possible," announces Ilpalazzo. "Just sign here, here and here."
As she signs the contract, the clouds over Excel blast her with lightning over and over.
Ilpalazzo smiles, "Good girl. And what is your mission sweet child of mine?"
Chibi-Cel tips a box of metal tools around Excel, causing hundreds of lightning bolts to strike her simultaneously. "My mission is to buy mint condition manga for my dear Daddy! Isn't that cool??"
"Very, then be off, and take Excel with you, you know, in case you get bored and want a scratching post."
"Thanks Daddy!" Giggles Chibi-Cel, saluting. With Chi sleeping on her head, Chibi-Cel takes the burnt out Excel by her hair and begins to drag her from headquarters. "Man lady, lose some weight!"
Ilpalazzo's eyes tear up, "What an innocent and adorable child I created! Her mother must be a goddess or angel!"
~@@@~
[And now a word from your author and her co-writer, Nabeshin.]
Author-Chan: Well, all seems to be going fine with the story so far. Both girls are in the past safely and so far only one casualty.
Nabeshin: That's all well and good Author-Chan, however we cannot forget what makes Excel Saga such a memorable and unique experience.
Author-Chan: .Death jokes?
Nabeshin: *scratches his afro* Apart from that! We're talking shameless depravation of the anime world babee!
Author-Chan: I see where this is going Mr. Director!
Nabeshin: Right babee, time to humiliate and pervert fan fics everywhere!
Author-Chan: How self-righteous we will look.
Both: All in the name of comedy! Bring on the shame!
"Excellent. So where are the goods?" demands Ilpalazzo.
Excel presents the grocery bag, "The convenience store wasn't very convenient for Excel as they were out of the soda you like. However she was able to get for 1% off this oversized novelty jug of cod liver oil!" Excel tears out of the bag the jug, which is three times her size.
Without warning Ilpalazzo tugs on a rope, opening the floor beneath Excel. Excel screams and rants as she falls. "EXCEL IS SORRY LORD ILPALAZZO! EXCEL IS FALLING ONCE AGAIN! HER SKIN IN SLIDING UP HER BONES! DOES HER MEDICAL INSURANCE COVER THIS? AAAHHHH."
Ilpalazzo sulks in his throne, "I really wanted some Strawberry Fizz too.damn. Now what I am I supposed to do with all that disgusting oil?"
Excel promptly returns, puffing and panting. Her bones hold her skin in one hand, "Excel was planning to lose some weight, thank-you oh sexy, bishie one for saving me the trouble!"
"No problem Excel. Now for today's mission you are to.do you hear something?"
"Excel's mission for today is to hear something?" She tilts her head up, her ear widening. "Hmm. Excel can only hear her little heart beating and the deep, manly voice of her Lord Ilpalazzo."
"SUUUUUUURRRRRFFFFF'S UUUUUUUUUPPPPPP!"
"Ne? Ne?" Excel blinks.
A mini version of Excel crashes from nowhere, kicking Excel to the ground, she slides along the marble flooring, using Excel as a surfboard. She slides in, in front of Ilpalazzo's throne and gives him the V sign. "Hail Daddy!"
Ilpalazzo rubs his chin, "Can I help you, young lady?"
"I am Chibi-Cel, your daughter from the near future!" She replies, bouncing all over Excel's stiff body.
Excel growls, kicking her off, suddenly holding out Menchi, "Hah, such an obvious attempt to infiltrate the secret ideological organization of ACROSS! But Excel and her emergency food ration, Menchi, see through your evil, twisted plot! Prepare to die, impostor kid! Bwuahahaha!" Dark clouds form behind the oh so menacing Excel Excel.
Ilpalazzo takes Chibi-Cel's hand, "What an energetic and cute child I shall have."
The clouds move above Excel and begin to shower above her head.
"Chibi-Cel, as my daughter, I shall make you second in command. Therefore you are Excel's senior and have all rights to make her life as much a living hell as possible," announces Ilpalazzo. "Just sign here, here and here."
As she signs the contract, the clouds over Excel blast her with lightning over and over.
Ilpalazzo smiles, "Good girl. And what is your mission sweet child of mine?"
Chibi-Cel tips a box of metal tools around Excel, causing hundreds of lightning bolts to strike her simultaneously. "My mission is to buy mint condition manga for my dear Daddy! Isn't that cool??"
"Very, then be off, and take Excel with you, you know, in case you get bored and want a scratching post."
"Thanks Daddy!" Giggles Chibi-Cel, saluting. With Chi sleeping on her head, Chibi-Cel takes the burnt out Excel by her hair and begins to drag her from headquarters. "Man lady, lose some weight!"
Ilpalazzo's eyes tear up, "What an innocent and adorable child I created! Her mother must be a goddess or angel!"
~@@@~
[And now a word from your author and her co-writer, Nabeshin.]
Author-Chan: Well, all seems to be going fine with the story so far. Both girls are in the past safely and so far only one casualty.
Nabeshin: That's all well and good Author-Chan, however we cannot forget what makes Excel Saga such a memorable and unique experience.
Author-Chan: .Death jokes?
Nabeshin: *scratches his afro* Apart from that! We're talking shameless depravation of the anime world babee!
Author-Chan: I see where this is going Mr. Director!
Nabeshin: Right babee, time to humiliate and pervert fan fics everywhere!
Author-Chan: How self-righteous we will look.
Both: All in the name of comedy! Bring on the shame!
