Um, yes the girl's name in last chapter was Regina because she acted like a royal bitch like Regina George from Mean Girls. To answer some people's questions, no none of the drabbles are connected. They could be, they don't have to be. Nor are they in any particular order. Ages, time periods, all left to your interpretation. If you'd like me to put the age I imagined them to be, I can do that. Read and review :D
11. Memory
When Sam was little and her dad left, she was convinced that it was, by far, the worst feeling in the world. It's one thing when your heart seemingly breaks and there's someone to remind you that your world, no matter how tied it is to someone's existence, won't end when they're gone. It's completely different when you're utterly alone, surrounded by your dark thoughts with no one to beat them back. When you're wrapping your arms around your chest, trying to keep your heart in one piece because you are wholly convinced that if you let go, you'll be torn in two.
"It's okay," he said, his arms coming around and wrapping around her. "It wasn't your fault, you know."
"I know," she said but she hadn't known and it felt good to hear someone else say it. She leaned back into his embrace and closed her eyes.
When she was a little older and Melanie left, she felt like she'd been punched in the gut. It wasn't the heartbreak she felt the first time; she wasn't torn in half, she just laid on her side and curled into a ball, certain that everything would leak out instead. It felt like everything went away that night because damn, why was everyone leaving her? Did they even care?
"Of course!" he said fiercely. She sighed and opened her eyes. The way he kept reassuring her insecurities was exhausting; heartwarming and horrible all at once. She liked that it wasn't her fault, liked to hear it for once…but hearing him being so soft, as if she might fall apart, made her want to cry all over again...
So she did. Tears came full force and she gasped his name, afraid because she never felt such pain, such vulnerability before. He squeezed tighter but she held onto his arms anyways, pushing them impossibly closer to her body. "I'm still here." And with a shock, she realized that's what she had needed to hear before.
12. Insanity
"Did you know that if you're in love, you're insane?" Carly asked. She flipped the page in a magazine.
"…What?" Sam looked up curiously.
"Yeah, scientists say when you fall in love, it's a mental illness."
"Cool-oh no! What if I'm perfectly sane forever??"
Carly tilted her head and studied her friend and concluded that this was one of those rare moments where she saw the soft Sam, the Sam who shared her doubts with others. She glanced away and Carly's expression softened. She put down the magazine and turned her full attention to her friend.
"…I doubt it. Everyone has a soul mate and 3 other ideal matches," Carly declared. Sam looked at her weirdly, "How do you figure?"
"Well um…I read it somewhere…but it makes sense! There's 6,800,000,000 people in the world. Everyone has someone and if not right now, you just haven't found them yet…either that or you don't realize you have them…but soon you'll lose your sanity just like me and Griffin and Freddie!" she ended her mini-speech with a cheerful smile.
"Freddork?!" Sam reeled back in shock and pushed back the feeling of dismay. "Freddie's in love?"
"Um…" Carly looked down at Sam's clenched fists, intrigued and Sam hastily let go of the (now crushed) can she was holding. She prodded further, "With who?! And what happened to our promise?!"
"…this is an exception…" Carly stated and then Freddie walked in and it grew silent.
"…Freddie…" Sam stared at him and he arched an eyebrow, "Sam?"
"Freddie…tell me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the blonde demanded, launching herself at Freddie, tackling him to the ground and effectively trapping him there.
Freddie struggled fiercely and turned to look at Carly, "What's the matter with this girl!? Is she insane?!?!"
Carly smiled and nodded her head, "You know…I think she is."
Sam froze.
13. Misfortune
Then the priest was looking at him. He took her hands in his and drew in a shaky breath.
"Ahem…Sam," Freddie resisted the urge to scratch the back of his neck like he usually did when he was nervous. He looked down into her eyes and saw that rare smile on her face. "I…" He glanced over at Spencer who gave him a thumbs up and then Carly who smiled warmly. His gaze immediately fell back on Sam and she smiled again.
"I…" he started again. "First had the misfortune of meeting you in preschool."
Her jaw dropped ever so slightly and she searched his eyes questioningly. Freddie went on, "You called me a wimp-"
"Sissy," Sam corrected, glaring at him. He laughed.
"Right. Sissy…and then you stole my lunch and punched me in the stomach. Later, after five grades blissfully spent without you, I had the misfortune of seeing you again when Carly and I met for the first time. You didn't remember me but you punched me in the stomach again…and stole my cupcake. Then we had the misfortune of being stuck together for iCarly. Later, after we had our first kiss…I had the misfortune of developing a crush on you. I asked you out and again was punched in the stomach and then you kissed me. Our second kiss. You gave me a black eye and told me not to look so happy. Then you kissed it and said sorry that you were so used to making my life hell."
"Okay…" she said, starting to get just a bit angry. Carly smiled affectionately. "Sorry for making you miserable?!"
He tangled their fingers, "Somehow, I had the misfortune of falling in love with you and so, Sam Puckett, I would love to have the misfortune of marrying you."
14. Smile
The skyline in Seattle was beautiful and heartbreaking; a melancholy blue and gold towards the top, with orange-tinged gray clouds. Freddie watched the clouds, trying to shut down the turmoil in his head. He closed his eyes for a few seconds letting the pain lap at his heart before he decided it still hurt too much to reflect on. When he opened them, the skies were replaced with her. He smiled weakly. Sam tilted her head and studied his expression then said quietly, "It hurts to smile sometimes, doesn't it?"
He was already looking somewhere else so it wasn't hard to seem confused, "…what?"
"Freddie, I know why you're out here. And I see right through you."
Immediately dropping the act, he glared out into the night, "Then don't act like you're not the reason it hurts."
He still wasn't looking at her; she needed him to look at her. She gingerly sat on his lap and curled her legs under her so she could face him and see his eyes. She placed a forefinger on each side of his mouth. "Smile?"
But when she let go, the forged smile deflated and became a miserable scowl. She frowned and leaned upwards so her lips could meet his. Her hands fell to his chest and she kissed him firmly but sweetly, slowly but surely. Her lips moved against his and she heard him take a breath, before he hesitantly let his lips give way. He wasn't responding like he usually did but he wasn't resisting either. One of her hands came to brush his hair away and then she separated from him, wrapping her arms around his neck.
"I'm sorry…but I can't say it back…it's hard," she whispered. But mentally, she vowed to one day say those words so she could see his smile.
15. Silence
"What's so hard about saying 'I love you'?! Either you feel that way or you don't!" he burst out, clearly frustrated.
"…Every time I say it, I get hurt. I know it's irrational but I'm…scared," she tried to reason with him.
She felt him stiffen. He released a long, sad sigh and then he was silent. It seemed to wear on for an eternity; he wasn't going to break it this time. But she took the time to think. Why, after two years could she not say those three words? It shouldn't be that big of a deal. But it was; she was shaking just thinking about it. She was terrified. How many people had hurt her? So many. She learned long ago not to say it, to never let anyone know they were close enough to actually hurt her. But she knew that she loved him, knew that fact and feared it and treasured it, all at once. It was just that old reaction that told her to protect herself. Vulnerability was not allowed. But now, she realized, she was doing what she was always scared of. She was hurting him, after he just said the words that she couldn't. This thought pained Sam greatly; she was ashamed and incredibly guilty.
"But…just so you know…I do," she mumbled quietly, refusing to look at him. She buried her face into his neck, "So much."
In the silence that followed, she feared that he wouldn't accept that, that maybe she had once and for all, broken his heart. But his arm wound around her body, telling her that she was at least forgiven. And so they stayed on the fire escape, surrounded by their thoughts and the growing darkness, all the things they wanted to say being swallowed by the silence.
So as I was writing Smile, I checked the word count and what do you know, I'm at 371. Lol, so after deleting a few words, I decided to take the two lines out of Smile and put them at the beginning of Silence…I have no idea if that's cheating but oh well!! Lol, oh and…if people want continuations of moments or responses to certain things (like Misfortune, maybe what Sam says?) Idk, tell me and I'll consider and try to fit it in. And mwuahahaha don't you love how I made smile sad and misfortune happy?? Lol very ironic. Never be normal! But okay, give me your thoughts. Least favorite? Favorite? For every review you don't give, a monkey gets in a banana fight and dies. Save a monkey, review.
