Sorry it took so long, hard chapter to write. I wrote this one under the idea the Alex did go into Witness protection but came back for good a few episodes after Undercover. I realize this chapter may be a little bit character awkward, but it's my interpretation of events so they may not be exactly on point. But it's like I said before happy endings are my thing…and so are sequels so reviews are awesome…happy reading.
It had been close to a week since Alex had last talked to her, she wanted to give her the space she needed, but she wanted to talk her, she wanted to see her and make sure she was as alright as she claimed she was. She figured that a week was enough time and distance and that it would be ok to call Liv and at least make sure she was ok.
The phone rang about three times until she heard the familiar husky voice on the other end answer, "Benson".
"Hey Liv, its Alex I…..well I just wanted to call and see how you doing."
"I'm fine just trying to clean up the apartment, I'm pretty sure there is a floor under all this crap, is something wrong?"
"No nothing's wrong, I just hadn't heard from you in a couple a days and I wanted to make sure you were doing alright…uh, I was wondering if you had any plans tonight?"
"Nope, but then again I do have a hot date with Ben and Jerry and my remote, why, you have a better idea?"
"Well, I was thinking if you weren't busy maybe you could come and I'd make us dinner…I kicked ass in court today I figured celebrating with you would be better than drinking by myself in a bar. What do you say? My place 6:30?"
"Sounds better than what had planned, I'll see you tonight."
Before she could say goodbye the line went dead and Alex snapped her phoned shut she looked down at what she was wearing and realized she was wearing sweat pants and an old tshirt. She had two hours to make herself look presentable and start dinner. Realizing this Alex ran full speed into her closet and started to dig through a variety of suits, suits and more suits….during this closet adventure Alex decided she needed to expanded her wardrobe.
No wonder they call me the Ice Queen I don't wear anything but suits. I have to find something nice, but it can't look like a tried too hard, but I…what the hell am I thinking, I'm acting like I'm 16 and I'm getting ready for the prom, it's just dinner, but its dinner with her. For Christ sake Alex get your mind out of the gutter, this isn't a date it's just dinner. I don't even think Liv is gay, at least I pretty sure she isn't and even if she was there is no chance in hell I'm gonna land her in sweatpants and a baggy tshirt.
After about an hour of searching Alex settled on jeans and a slightly more fitted tshirt and with limited time she started cooking dinner and soon lost track of the time because before she knew it the buzzer was ringing, signaling Liv's arrival. Alex buzzed her in and figured she had about two minutes to pull herself together.
Liv knocked on the door and assuming that it was unlocked she walked in. "You know just cuz your front door costs more than my whole apartment doesn't mean this is the safest neighborhood, you can still get robbed, this is New York yah know, unlocked doors can lead to trouble."
Alex looked up from the stove and smiled, "well I figured that since I have one of New York finest in my apartment, that I'd probably be safe. I see you brought wine."
Liv handed her the bottle, "I felt bad that you were doing all the cooking and hard work so I figured the least I could do was bring the booze. Whatever your making it smells amazing."
"It nothing just pasta and I'm using a sauce that my mother taught me when I was a kid. Nothing too special."
"Please, the only thing I can cook is scrambled eggs and even that I manage to screw up every now and then."
Alex laughed and opened the wine pouring two glasses, "well maybe I'll have to teach how to cook something other than breakfast one day."
"I'd like that," Liv grabbed her glass and started walking around Alex rather palatial apartment and eventually found herself staring at a wall covered in pictures. Most of them were of Alex from her college days, but all of them had one thing in common; in every shot Alex was standing next to or had her arm around another blonde woman. I wonder, psssh, no there is no way that woman is her girlfriend, Alex is as straight as they come…well it can't hurt to ask. "Hey Alex, who's the blonde in all these photos with you."
Alex stopped stirring the sauce on the stove, turned off the burner and for a second she hesitated, "that's Amanda, we went to law school together, she was my," Alex took a rather deep breath and under her breath she mumbled, "girl friend."
What? Did she just say, no, I swear she said girlfriend.
"She was your what?"
Alex gulped what was left of her glass of wine and while pouring another she repeated herself, this time a bit louder, "she was my girl friend Liv." Liv didn't say anything she just stood there, trying to process the ADA's rather shocking confession. After realizing that her silence wasn't exactly reassuring Olivia managed to form a coherent sentence, "she's pretty."
Alex was floored, "That's it, I tell you I had a girl friend and all you have to say is she's pretty. You aren't mad or disgusted or even remotely shocked?"
"Alex I…."
"No, its fine let's just eat before the food gets cold."
For about twenty minutes, neither one of them said anything than finally Olivia couldn't take it anymore, "Did you really expect me to get mad at you for having a girl friend. Come on Alex give me a little credit here, I'm more open minded than you seem to think. Plus you're my best friend, I don't care who you date, I just care if you're happy."
"I'm sorry I blew up at you, I just…not that many people know about Amanda and the few that do, well you could say they were less than enthused." Alex looked like she was about to cry so Olivia tried to at least make her smile, "so does this make you a lesbian now or what?" Although rather crude, this outburst did make Alex smile.
"Liv can I tell you something?"
"Seems kind of pointless to start keeping secrets from me now. Shoot."
"I've known I was gay since I was 13 years old and I had a crush on my teacher. I didn't tell anyone because it's like I said everyone else who knows has freaked out about it in some way or another. Liv you gotta promise me that you're not going to tell people at work because the last thing I need is more drama at work"
"Calm down Alex, I'm not going to tell anyone, but if you do ever tell them, they aren't gonna care. But out of curiosity, who have you told? You keep saying that they took it badly."
"Serena knows, but she just uses it as an excuse to flirt shamelessly with me. A few of my college friends know and they stopped talking to me. And my…my mother knows."
Olivia dropped the fork that was in hand, "you told your mother?"
"I'm just as shocked as you are that I did. It's not like I planned on telling her; one weekend she decided to come visit me at school and she walked into my room without knocking and caught us in bed together. In retrospect I really should have locked the door."
"Told you, unlocked doors always lead to trouble. What did your mom do?"
Alex picked up the dishes and put them in the sink, "She stood there for a minute, I guess she was in shock and then she turned around and walked right out the door. She didn't talk to me for about 6 months and when she finally called she told that she had the perfect man to set me up with. Needless to say we don't talk that much anymore. Enough about my homophobic mother, which movie do you want to watch, Legally Blonde or Dodgeball?"
"Legally Blonde, I have a thing for hot blonde lawyers." And with that Olivia sat down on the couch with her wine, leaving Alex to figure out what she meant by "a thing". After the movie was over another bottle of wine was opened and the two women kept talking until the clock in the den started to chime. Olivia looked at her watched and was shocked at how late it was, "I can't believe its midnight already, I should leave and let you get some sleep." As she stood up she tried to get her balance, but the four glasses of wine she had had other plans.
"Liv there is no way you can drive home, not after the amount we've had to drink. I've got a spare bedroom you can sleep in; I'll go get you some clean sheets."
"Alex its fine I can just call a cab."
"Liv, it's fine besides I'll need someone to protect me if I leave the front door unlocked again."
The ADA's subtle flirting was not lost on Olivia, but she knew that now was not the time to open up about her feelings for Alex.
Alex finished making the spare bed and walked into her bedroom, but not before stopping in the doorway. "Ok so there are extra blankets in the closet and towels are in the bathroom cabinet and help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen. Do you need anything before I turn in?"
"Nope, I think I'm good, thanks Alex, goodnight."
"Night Liv."
Alex fell asleep the minute her head hit the pillow and soon her dreams filled her head with images of her favorite detective and the life that they could have together. These wonderful dreams were soon interrupted by a frightened voice crying out in the middle of the night. Still half asleep Alex sat up in bed and looked at the clock, it was 3am. Alex got up out of bed and followed the noise to the guest bedroom and there she saw something that absolutely shocked her. She opened the door to find Olivia in bed throwing her arms around, kicking and screaming "please don't, don't hurt me, please stop, please".
Alex knew better than to lay her hands on the distraught detective, but she had to try to calm her, down, "Liv, Liv you have to wake up ok…Liv its Alex, you're in my apartment ok your safe here, but you need to wake up. Liv, Liv come on, come back to me, it's ok."
Finally after a few more minutes of phantom fighting Liv sat up in the bed drenched in a cold sweat and starring back at her was the concerned and tear filled eyes of Alex Cabot. Olivia couldn't speak and she felt embarrassed that Alex had seen her like that, seen her be that weak and scared, all she could do was fall back into the bed sobbing.
Alex carefully walked over to the bed and sat down on the other side of Olivia and started to rub her back trying to soothe her and calm her down. "Liv, its ok you're safe here with me, no one is going to hurt you." Alex continued to rub Olivia back until the sobbing had diminished into tearful hiccups. Want to spare Olivia's pride, Alex got up to leave, wanting to give her the chance to fall back asleep, but as she reached the door something stopped her and that something was Olivia's voice.
"Alex?"
"Yeah, Liv."
"Stay with me...I can't close my eyes or the nightmares will start again and he'll be there."
Hearing the terror in Olivia's voice brought more tears to Alex's eyes and she made her way over to the bed, "I will stay here for as long as you want ok. I'm going hold onto you until you fall asleep ok, I'm right here." Alex climbed into bed and gently put her hand on Olivia's back and slowly moved her arm around the detective's waist pulling her closer to her own body. After about 15min the crying completely stopped and Alex knew that Olivia had finally fallen back asleep leaving Alex to figure out what had just happened.
I've never seen her that freaked out before; she was fighting someone off in her sleep. I don't think I've ever seen her cry like that, it wasn't sadness, it was fear. What the hell happened to her while I was gone? And you who is this "he" she mentioned and what the hell did he do to her?
