Kana: I wonder if 'I was working on my fucking awesome Vlad Dracula cosplay' counts as an acceptable excuse for having a mediocre essay…what about 'the vampire Nazis ate meh brainz'. I like the latter. Or perhaps 'I contemplated how the Valentine brothers were related' or even 'I went to investigate a village called Cheddar and got my boob shot off by a pimp vamp'. But I've already used them all before ;-; (I kid you not)
If you accidentally get anything that doesn't look like it belongs in this fic, tell me. Seriously. I was working on my English essay, French homework, a piece of original fiction, and watching Hellsing on my family's HD screen while doing it. And after Hellsing? James Bond. Oh yes. It might have influenced my jokes…
Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing. But if I did, it would have an opening theme in which Alucard danced to the James Bond theme while Integra contemplated blowing his head off in the background.
Ever have a fried tomato? Freaking excellent. And before you ask, yes – what happened to Willow's family was something I literally pulled from a hat. The choices were as follows: death by ghouls, death by FREAK vampire, death by turned family member (this one), and death by Alucard (which I prayed wouldn't come up). All would have resulted in Willow's vampness one way or another.
xxx
Making Lemonade
Chapter Two: Making Fried Tomatoes
xxx
When I woke up, Alucard was leaning over me. In a very disturbing way. Then again, anything he did was disturbing. He could be petting kittens and it would look disturbing. "No Mr. Bond, I expect you to die." I would have giggled at the thought if the object of my parody wasn't looming over me.
"Um…hello?" Good, use earlier tactics.
"You are pathetic," Alucard said, smiling his unnerving smile. He had shark teeth. "I saw your results from target practice last night. Even my fledgling is not so incompetent."
"Seras is a better shot than I," I snapped, feeling more confident because of the hit at my pride. "That comes from her police training. I, however, have never held a gun in my life."
"You do not cling to your humanity like she does," Alucard said, and it wasn't a question. "You have the red eyes of a true vampire. You should have already discovered the nature of your third eye. You could be an excellent shot."
I hissed, purely on instinct, and that made Alucard chuckle with amusement. I caught myself though, and felt the shame rise in my gut as I hid my face in the dark soil of the crate. My sleep had been the best sleep of my life, better than when I had been alive and snuggled in the warm sheets of my bed. Better than any rest on the best mattress in the world. Last night had been a blur, now nothing but a dream.
The sleep of the dead.
Before I could protest, Alucard was gone, chuckling darkly. He was probably planning my death, and couldn't decide on how to kill me. I could hear his thoughts; The Jackal or the Casull? No, better eat her. No, I'll rip off her limbs and then beat her with them. YES! Dammit.
After shaking my head to rid it of the terrible ringing his laughs had implanted there, I looked down at myself. I had accidentally fallen asleep in the kiddie uniform that the Hellsing Organization handed out to all of its female members for the sake of the soldiers' hard-ons. Now it was stained with the damp soil of London, and smelled like vampire – death and blood. I hoped that they would be able to get the mulch stains out.
Climbing out of the crate, I found a small envelope resting on the tea-party table. It was labeled to me, from the butler, Walter, and Sir Hellsing. It had the little Hellsing seal stamped on it, an approval from the Ministry, and the Queen's seal taking up space on its pristine white surface. All in all, it looked really important; not the kind of letter you burn from spite.
I carefully opened it, wondering what it was. My stomach quivered at all the possibilities. What if it was Sir Hellsing's formal termination of my short stay at her Organization?
Steeling myself against anything, I broke the Queen's seal and unfolded the letter.
Dear Miss Brenner,
To assure ourselves of your decision the Hellsing Organization as a free vampire, we are setting up a meeting with the Convention of Twelve and her Majesty to question you and to possibly give you a temporary place among our undead ranks. You will be expected to be able to control yourself and your bloodlust throughout the ordeal, and to look and be respectable to Her Majesty the Queen. This meeting will take place on the third, in two days time. Until then, you will be the ward of the resident vampire sire, Alucard, who will be responsible for any further training that you will go through until I decide otherwise.
Formally,
Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing
Oh God…Alucard was going to train me. I contemplated going to Sir Hellsing and begging for Seras to mentor me, but I knew that not only would I be turned down, but my doom would come even faster after I started showing weakness.
So I sucked it up and forced myself to feel happy about this. Alucard would be like my sire, something I know I craved dearly. As a vampire, I felt remorse for what my brother did, and I missed my father. My instincts told me that a sire would replace my family, but my original sire had been a monster. And even as a newborn vampire I knew that I didn't want to be a monster, nor have one for a master.
And Alucard was the biggest monster of them all. Perhaps in a better way; a monster's monster, per say. Still, I liked him a little more than I did my brother. At least he was sophisticated and knew what the hell he was doing.
"Good morning, Miss Brenner," said a ghostly voice behind me.
I screamed, jumped a good foot into the air, and whipped around. Oh thank God, it was only the butler, Walter. And he was carrying a silver tray that balanced a blood packet floating in a bowl of warm water and a tall glass. He stood straight-backed, eyeing me with a sparkle of good-natured amusement in his eyes.
Releasing a sigh of relief, I said, "Oh, it's just you."
"Expecting someone else?" the butler asked with a twinkle in his eyes. He set the tray down on the table, on top of the torn envelope.
"No, but Alucard's been showing up randomly."
The butler chuckled. "I suppose you've read your letter."
"Yes, sir," I mumbled, turning a little pink and poking the bag around in its bowl. It felt delightfully warm, a decent impression of life.
"Walter," the butler corrected.
"…Sir Walter?" Was everyone in this place knighted?
He smiled at me, reminding me of a grandfather. My grandparents had all died of old age and disease… "No, just Walter." His monocle shined in my eyes, making me blink.
"…Walter…" I stared at my feet, wiggling my toes in my socks. I looked ridiculous in this stained, dirty uniform. "I'm sorry."
Now it was his turn to act confused. "What for?"
"I forgot to change out of this…thingy," I said, not even able to call it a uniform. "And now it's…stained and stuff."
The butl – Walter put a finger to his lips and said, "You're right. The damage is terrible. I'll have to get Alucard to kill you over this."
For a second I thought he was serious, but then he started laughing. "What?"
"Do you realize how dirty our uniforms get? I've had to wash out blood, intestinal fluid, and some form of brain from a shirt because one time Alucard decided to wear a real suit. A little dirt is nothing more than a grass stain."
But Alucard is always wearing a suit, I thought in confusion as Walter left the room, his shoulders still shaking in mirth.
Sighing a little, I sat down at the tea party table and cut a little triangle out of the blood pouch's edge. I emptied a little of it into the glass and started my breakfast. I missed being able to have a warm breakfast, with toast and eggs and a little tomato. I wanted my father to fry some tomatoes and put them on the toast and…
I need to go make that now, I thought, and put back the rest of the glass of blood before zipping out of the door and into the hallway.
It was cold and the floor was hard under the thin, generic grey carpet. I took off my socks and tossed them back into the bedroom before trying to find Seras's scent. It started in my room and led me down two doors, into a room that was just like mine, except there was no crate of dirt, only a bed.
"Seras…?" I whispered, too nervous to do anything else.
"Hello, Willow!" squealed a bubbly voice behind me.
I was pissed that people had kept sneaking up on me ever since I had been rudely awoken, so I couldn't help but feel a little angry towards Seras. But after a split second passed and I saw her all happy and giddy in her uniform, and I instantly loved her again.
"Hello, Seras," I said, sounding a little depressed – but oh well. I was a vampire whose family had been slaughtered by her brother, who she in turn killed. I deserved the miserable look on my face. "I was wondering if you knew where the kitchens were."
"Why?" Seras asked, looking at me with the blue eyes of an innocent. "Walter always brings blood to master and I. Did he forget about you?"
"No, I already ate." I followed her as she started leading me around without needing to hear the rest of my explanation, but I continued anyway. "But I want to make some food."
"To eat?" Seras sounded a little concerned. "But you'll get sick."
"I know. It's for nostalgic purposes."
"Oh…can I watch?"
"Fine by me."
Seeing my solemn distress, Seras left me alone. My uniform was still a mess, and I needed to do something with my hair. The little police girl watched in curiosity as I quickly buzzed around my room, brushing the wrinkles from my uniform and finding some sort of hair tie.
"You're very efficient," Seras commented, watching me pull my hair up in a big knot.
I knew this. I had been the girl who had been borderline OCD in high school, the perfectionist. My locker had been kept neat and orderly, with books arranged by period, and my few friends had always teased me about it. If I got a B in a subject I instantly freaked, and lost sleep over just about everything.
"It's a curse," I said, smiling a little. "Claire always called me Birdie."
"Why?" Seras's brow furrowed a bit.
"Because you always see birds hopping around and picking up sticks. Claire said that I did the same thing in a messy room." I pulled down the high skirt of my uniform, feeling slightly chilly.
"Is Claire your sister?" Seras asked, leading me back into the hallway once I was done. My feet were bare, but I didn't want to fuss with the boots.
"No…I never had a sister," I said, hitching a strand of wavy hair behind an ear. "She was my niece. She…she was with her mother when my brother went berserk." I made a mental note to find out what had happened to them, and if they were safe.
"Oh." Seras looked away, uncomfortable with the personal conversation. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," I said, grinning. "I've learned to make the best of things. If everyone wallowed in the past, then we would get nowhere."
It bothered me that I was so calm about this. I was afraid that becoming a vampire had made me something I wasn't, perhaps I had become desensitized. But then I looked back, and found that even if I hadn't been made into a vampire, I wouldn't have shed too many tears. My way of life had made me very apathetic, and it scared me.
Seras changed the subject as soon as she could, and began animatedly talking about anything that she saw caught my interest. The thing that interested me the most was the description of her missions, and she was more than ready to chat about those. Seras knew a lot more about vampires than I did, and I was glad to be hearing it from her rather than the condescending voice of Alucard.
"How many brothers did you have?" Seras asked.
"Three," I said, giggling when her eyes widened. "It was a big testosterone-filled family. Claire was Timothy's daughter, my oldest brother." I almost skipped. "It was my younger brother who…"
Seras stopped me, knowing that it would ruin our happy mood.
xxx
I learned, to my dismay, that the Hellsing Manor was not as empty as it appeared. I had hoped – in a delusional state of denial – that it was just Sir Hellsing, Walter, and the vampires. Maybe a few soldiers, but nothing more frivolous than that. There were a handful of maids, a few lesser butlers – none as well-dressed as Walter – and a security room on every floor. Soldiers patrolled the hallways and stared as we walked by.
Seras seemed right at home though, chatting away. It was nice to have at least one friend in this desolate place, and Seras was a perfect companion to keep the brooding away. She was naturally perky, the exact opposite of Alucard, like a miniature sun. I had no idea why Alucard chose her as a fledgling.
It took ten extra minutes to reach the kitchens, mostly because Seras gave me a tour as we went along. She had been here for barely three days, as long as I had been a fledgling, yet she already knew where everything was. A twinge of angry green jealousy told me that Alucard had shown her around.
The kitchens were quite big, considering Sir Hellsing's company, and there were two fridges; one main one for food and stuff, and another, smaller one for blood. I lingered on the vamp-fridge for a moment before sifting through the main one.
"What on earth are you doing?" Walter asked in bewilderment when he came in five minutes later, finding two vampire girls savoring the smell of frying tomatoes.
"Acting on a whim," I muttered, sniffing the tomatoes. They did not smell like what father made. They were different, and it made my heart break.
"Vampires do not need a sense of whimsy," said an ethereal, husky voice. A moment later Alucard drifted through a wall near the door. Show off. "It only gets in the way."
A hard glob of fear nested in my throat, and I looked at the floor. His intimidating presence was enough to make me bow my head, something I had never done before. My pride was slowly deflating, shrinking back from Alucard's already stifling ego.
Alucard smirked at me. "You are a strange little yearling. So docile now; perhaps you are irate in the early evening. Not an early bird?"
Bird. Auntie Birdie. I pursed my lips and kept staring at my bare feet, my eyes shadowed by my hair. The glob of fear dropped into my stomach and blossomed, nearly consuming me. My pulse hammered, driven solely by fear. The tomatoes started to burn.
Oh God, I thought for the nth time. There was nothing better than seeing your death to bring out the faith in people. He heard me talking about my family. He knows about Claire, about Susan. About Timothy. My eyes pricked at the thought of my only surviving brother.
Not noticing my fright, Walter asked, "What are you doing up so early?"
But Alucard could see my terror, and he reveled in it. He was leering at me as he answered. "I have interesting orders from my master. It seems I have a new…foster fledgling."
The frying pan made a painfully loud noise when I dropped it. Seras helped me as I started to scramble to clean it up, but Walter barely looked away from Alucard. He knew what the nosferatu was doing to me.
"Oh really?" Walter said, quirking an eyebrow. The one over the eye with the monocle. "Nearly a hundred years without a single fledgling, and suddenly you have two."
"Yes," Alucard drawled, his eyes watching as I threw away the ruined tomatoes. Seras had given up, as my frantic movements were too rushed to be synchronized in any way. "This will be interesting."
I looked up for a brief moment, and Alucard caught my gaze for the second time. And that was when I saw it.
In his eyes, the eyes of a predator and a hunter, I was the runt that had been abandoned to die. I had crawled into his den and tried to pretend to be one of his own. This was not survival of the fittest. Alucard had already accepted his own fledgling, his Seras. He was keeping me for fun, his amusement, possibly to use me as a scapegoat for Seras, or to bat around and see if I would crack.
When I started to annoy him, or became a burden, I knew he would devour me. He was the ruler of this manor, second only to Sir Hellsing, and in his eyes I was only food to play with.
xxx
Kana: TADA! I am so proud of myself. I plan to have this actually follow the manga/OVA, with Willow popping up during things like the Valentine brothers and the Rio incident. I've planned it all out, and I'm very happy with what the results could be. But there's a woefully slim chance that it will turn out the way I want it do -.- Because I obviously hate myself and plot my own demise.
Hmmn, my dog is being a giant floppy load and taking up my side of the bed. Damn dachshund Nazi. She is obviously the Major in disguise. With her cute brown eyes and the way she eats cheese and the way she snores. (cuddles dog) I LUV YOU. Take up my side of the bed all you want!
Review Responses: Yes, I did decide to change the update date to Saturday. Because I am awesome.
the x: hell, I feel bad for Willow, and I'd give my left arm to be in the same room as Alucard. Course, then he'd eat the other and I'd be ARMLESS. D: Thanks.
Koori Youkai Hime: Oh, Alucard's gonna make Willow's life a living hell. See the above for the Discovery Channel version. X3
Rambonata: (hit in the head with the reviews) THE PAIN, IT IS SWEET. Anyway, thanks for the compliment, but if I uploaded twice a week, then I wouldn't be able to write fast enough, cause I have lots of stuff I have to do. Homework, working on my original stuff, and I have these BADASS tests (like, state exams) coming up this week, so the studying is sucking up most of my LIFE. Plus my cosplay for an upcoming convention is killing me on the inside. So you see, the once a week thing is for the greater good.
BlazingMidnightRain: Aw! The love is felt! Alright, here is where the story is going. It is going to go off into the sunset and hopefully be awesome. There. Yay.
DarkSandHanyou28: Nu, you are the epic reviewer of epicness. And yes, it was awesome, since we all have Hellsing aliases for some reason. I is Walter, and my friends are Seras, Doc, Schrödinger, the Major, and Rip. It is very fucked up. And its pretty much based on who we look the most like. Though if it was based on that…I would be Seras. ANYWAY. Really? Tea party and Alucard to me makes me think of him sitting on that stoop drinking out of a…morbid juice box. O.O
End Responses
If you love me, and you don't want Willow to be eaten by…I dunno, Alucard's fedora…but that's how I want to die so I guess it's up to you. (PS: my tombstone would say 'no parking'). Bye now. I need to go beg my dad to take me to the movies.
