Disclaimer: Seriously?! DO I NEED TO PUT A DISCLAIMER ON EACH CHAPTER?

Pairing: blah blah obviously 1x2x1 or 2x1x2, whichever way you wanna look at it.

Warnings: language, sexual situations (SMUT), a little more sap a little more angst, probably lacking in the humor department in this segment. Again, this a dialogue based story, so yeah, lots of chatter.

Author's Note: UUUGGGHHH! This chapter has been a huge hassle _ It kept wanted to get all dark and angsty, but this is my light hearted, funny, awkward fic. So I've rewritten this chapter like four freaking times. Only plus side, I have a lot of tortured material for other fics now. I may use some of that angsty poop for this fic, or Backwards will make a left on Sappy Dr. We're at a crossroads people.


Backwards: Chapter 3

After that sensual dance and heated standing make out session in his living room, Heero tried vainly to fall asleep in his bed. Two hours passed of tossing and turning before he shoved his hands down his box briefs and jerked himself off viciously. He hardly ever indulged in the selfish act of masturbation, but he couldn't get Duo out of his head. Those big strong hands, thick biceps, broad shoulders, all that fucking hair, and of course that nice muscled ass of a Greek God. Panting heavily after he came underneath the sheets, the Japanese man felt a sense of victory. If he could get off on the mentally visualized image of Duo, he could surely do it person. Maybe he was gay and this would all work out. Or even if he wasn't a homosexual, he definitely wanted Duo's touch and to touch him back. Smirking, he fell into a deep, happy sleep.

At eight a.m. on the dot, the Japanese mans inner clock went off like it always did, and he shot out of bed to get dressed and ready for the day. A moderate shower before he clothed himself in dark blue jeans that were cut off above the knee, green tank top – he kept buying the same tank he'd worn during the war because he really liked that shade of green – and of course his yellow sneakers. Packing a backpack full of the necessary items for the day, he stuffed in four water bottles, six protein bars, a blanket, and two…blush worthy items that he'd purchased recently. Feeling confident, Heero hoped into his car and drove the short distance to Duo's apartment.

Nine twelve a.m. Heero knocked on the red door.

No one answered.

He knocked harder. Pressing his ear to the door, the blue-eyed man heard the stumbling frantic footfalls inside, and then…silence. Listening more intently, resting most of his body weight against the wooden entrance, the door suddenly flew open and he tumbled to the beige carpeted floor.

"What in the hell are you doin' here so damn early?" A grumpy, crusty eyed, loose hair Duo grouched.

Pushing himself up, Heero countered, "How did you go from walking so loud to not making any sound at all?"

"I'm not a stealth expert for nuthin'," the violet-eyed man chuckled. "But seriously, why are you waking me up at the ass crack of dawn?"

"It's nine seventeen," Heero corrected, looking down at his watch. "We have a date."

"This early?! What are we doing? Going to Denny's for a grand-slam?"

"No, not Denny's. We're going to this bagel place I like and then we are going hiking."

"Uuugghh," Duo groaned. "You're killing me here."

Eyes roaming over the floor, mouth twisted in a self-conscious frown, the Japanese man appeased, "We don't have to go if you don't want to."

Duo didn't like that bashful expression, so he conceded, "Naw, naw. We're going. Just lemme get dressed and shit. Not in that order."

Perplexed, Heero blinked rapidly, mouth opened and closed before he finally questioned, "Did you just tell me you need to shit?"

Duo, who'd already started walking back into his bedroom threw his head back and boisterously laughed, but didn't dignify that question with an answer.

A full thirty minutes later, Duo reemerged from his room dressed for a hike and hair braided neatly. Sluggishly, the violet-eyed man loaded his own black backpack full of water bottles and snack bars. They road together in Heero's car to "the bagel place" in silence. Duo was not accustomed to waking up early on his days off. He preferred to sleep until noon. So on the way to breakfast he nodded off a few times.

Something smacked the center of his chest, making him yell, "What?! What the fuck?!"

"We're here!" Heero belted and clasped Duo's wrist which had come flying towards his face.

The braided man grinned apologetically. "Sorry. Didn't mean to almost punch you in the face."

"It's okay," Heero chuckled. "You're obviously in dire need of caffeine."

"You can say that again."

"It's okay. You're obviously in dire need of caffeine," Heero repeated, straight-faced.

"I was joking."

"I know. I'm not that socially retarded."

Snorting, Duo asked as he climbed out of the car, "When'd you get a sense of humor?"

Inside the bustling café they waited in line before ordering their food and coffee. Again Heero insisted to pay for their food and Duo was far too tired to argue, and part of him was appreciative for the blue-eyed man playing "gentleman" to him. They found a vacant table with three cushioned chairs, and they ate their breakfast wordlessly. Duo groaned happily while swallowing his first gulp of triple espresso coffee.

"Have you ever done anything different with your hair?" Heero curiously asked.

Embarrassing images fluttered through Duo's minds eye. That one time he'd spent the night at Hilde's place on L2, and in a drunken stupor they crimped his hair so the entire length had tiny little waves. That was awful. There was that time he'd found Sally's curling iron in her office and Duo had "borrowed" it. The curls came out soft, round, and silky…but all too feminine. Dorothy left her straightening iron in one of the many rooms in the Peacecraft mansion, and while he was on duty, but had nothing to actually do, the braided man used it. Straight hair didn't look so bad, but he didn't like it as much as how it looked all wavy after unweaving it from its confined braid. On top of that, he'd done many experimentations in the privacy of his bathroom; two braids, ponytail, pigtails, sloppy bun, cornrows. Thinking of that last one made him shiver in disgust. Making a noncommittal squeak and rolling his shoulders, he hoped that not-answer would be enough. Heero shrugged, and Duo thanked his lucky stars. /Cornrows…da fuq was I thinking?/ Oh he almost forgot, there was the time he did Princess Liea buns, which looked ridiculous, girly, and above all else flat-out nerdy. Regardless, he wore the buns with a white turtleneck and watched Star Wars Episode Six: Return of the Jedi. Not the two remakes but the original 1983 film. The graphics were below par for the AC era, but how can you replace the friggin' original? He enjoyed the movie with the funny buns on the sides of his head whilst shoveling hand full after hand full of popcorn into his mouth.

"Heero? Duo?" A familiar voice called their names.

The Japanese man paused mid chew, and the braided man looked over his shoulder to find a smiling Relena Peacecraft.

"Hey Lena," Duo greeted awkwardly since Heero was frozen with his mouth half-open, partially mashed food visible.

Relena gave her former boyfriend a bashful smirk. "I'll purchase my breakfast and join you two."

Duo's violet eyes followed her form as the Vice Foreign Minster received her breakfast bagel right away before everyone else in line, her two bodyguards on either side of her.

"Please don't tell me this is where you two used to come for breakfast all the time!" Duo hissed at Heero.

Mumbling around the bread product in his mouth, Heero stated, "Yeah, but I didn't think she'd be here."

"'Ro!" Duo whispered angrily, "When you break up with someone, you gotta avoid all the old haunts you used to go to with that person!"

"How was I suppose to know that?!"

"It's common knowledge!"

"So sayth you!"

"So sayth everyone!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"What are you two arguing about?" Relena asked nicely as she sat in the available chair at their table.

"Nothing!" they both chimed in unison.

All three "friends" nibbled on their food quietly for a few uncomfortable moments. Heero avoided Relena's gaze by staring at his feet. Duo eyes flew all over the ceiling. The Vice Foreign Minister looked Heero up and down and waited for him to acknowledge her, which didn't seem would happen anytime soon.

"Heero," Relena called his name softly, and he reluctantly made eye contact with her. She forced a smile and continued, "Obviously there was something lacking in our relationship for you, but I believe the decision to break up was premature. I'd like to work on us."

A sinking feeling hit the pit of Duo's stomach. Heero and Relena had a lot of history, and it wouldn't just evaporate over night…let alone three days! His violet eyes fell to the checkered floor despondently, as he waited to hear Heero accept the offer to work their shit out.

The blue-eyed man saw the crestfallen expression on Duo's face and ended his mental argument. Sure, going back to Relena would be easy and comfortable, and maybe they could fix all the things that had gone wrong in their relationship, but he couldn't drop Duo like a hot potato like that. Besides, the prospect of returning to all those dinner parties, having the same fights over him not opening up, and the constant feeling of inadequacy didn't make Relena's offer all that appealing.

"I can't. I'm seeing someone," the Japanese man explained.

Dumbfounded, Relena parroted, "You're seeing someone? But we've only been broken up for three days!"

"Yeah and - "

"Who the heck are you dating already?!"

"It's D-"

"Dorothy! It's her, isn't it? She's always trying to one up me at every chance she gets! Why would you date her? What does she have that I don't? She's a vindictive shrew! Is that what you like? I can be mean like her if you want! I can - "

"It's not Dorothy!"

"Then who?!" Relena practically yelled, half a mind reminding her to remain calm so other people wouldn't notice. The last thing she needed was to be on the front page of the local paper for blowing up on her ex-boyfriend in a very public café.

"Duo."

"Duo, what?"

"I'm seeing Duo. We're actually on a date right now."

Cringing, the violet-eyed man lifted his gaze from the floor to Relena's shocked face. That horror-stricken expression twitched into a wide, open-mouthed mirthful laugh that clamorously fell from her face in a manic way.

After calming herself, Relena questioned, "No seriously, who are you seeing?"

"Duo," Heero stated firmly. To add proof to his blunt statement, the blue-eyed man gripped the braided rope of hair, tugged Duo's face unwillingly close to his, and – what was intended to be a quick kiss – sensually kissed his comrade with a soft pursing of his lips. Sparks of electricity ran down his spinal cord, jolting him to be gentler than he had planned to be. Shocked, all Duo could do was hold still, but a subconscious desire made him kiss back and his eyes roll back without closing all the way.

"That's a little far to go to prove your lie, Heero!" Relena exclaimed. "But if I'm perfectly honest, I've often thought of what you and Duo would look like kissing. That will fueling my fangirlish fantasies for a while." She stood up with her breakfast and turned to leave. "Think about us getting back together, okay Heero?" And then she left, two bodyguards in tow.

"I think she might be right. That was a bit much," the braided man sympathized vocally, but his eyes were wide with shock at the rest of the Vice Foreign Minister's admission.

"How else would I have gotten her to understand?"

"Persuade her with words. That this is something you really want to explore. That being with her didn't make you happy, and I mean that you should tell her that in the nicest way possible. And that you being with me is maybe something that you really want," Duo explained. "That would have saved me from knowing that she's going to be thinking about us at night…ew."

Blushing, Heero admitted, "I didn't think of that. I just assumed if she saw me kiss you than she'd realize that I don't want to be with her."

"Well, she sure as shit didn't get that message," Duo gruffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "Are you even sure that this," he waved his hand between himself and the Japanese man, "is what you want?"

"Yes," Heero answered swiftly. Fumbling around with his coffee cup, he tried to find the right words to express himself. "I want this. I want to keep trying. I feel safe and comfortable around you. I don't have to force anything. I don't think you understand how good that feels."

"I do," the violet-eyed man consoled. "I'm much more than the 'funny' guy I make myself out to be. I…I have my own issues and demons. I just handle them differently than you and the other guys do."

"You pray when you're scared," Heero pointed out. Duo's eyes widened at the acknowledgment. He only ever prayed when he thought things – a mission – was about to turn to shit, and he didn't steeple his hands under his chin, but rather clutched his gold cross necklace and whispered into it. Heero added, "You listen to a lot of sad, ambient music. You take two days off work whenever you or I, Trowa or Wufei and on the off chance, Quatre, have a near death experience. You hide in your office with the door locked when you don't want to talk to anyone. When you've had a bad day, you take out your aggression on the punching bag at the Preventer's gym until your soaked in sweat and your arms shake. You make people around you laugh so no one will ask how you are because if they do, you can't – won't – lie. You smile all the time, but it doesn't always reach your eyes. You're often sad, and I may not be the best person to seek comfort from, but I want to be there for you like you've been there for me when I'm down. That's what friends, and more than friends, do for each other, right?"

Heero's lengthy, unknowing heartfelt speech came to an end, and Duo hid his eyes behind his hand. The idea that Heero saw so much of him had never crossed his mind. Tears formed at the bottom lids, blurring his vision, but he refused to let them fall. This was the side of the blue-eyed man that people didn't see, the ever observant, caring person who simply didn't know how to respond to emotional vulnerability. It wasn't that he was cold and callous by choice; Heero just wasn't wired to confront or comfort poignant feelings.

"Am I really that transparent?" Duo asked, hand still blocking his vision.

The Japanese man thought hard about that question. No else ever seemed to think of Duo as the sad person he saw. "No. I see it because I watch you."

"Why do you watch me?"

"Because I care. Because I want you to come to me, even though I probably wouldn't be any good at giving you solace."

"I want to be the same for you."

"You already are," Heero confessed.

"Oh really? How?" Duo always sought out Heero's attention, and there were times when the two of them sat silently in the same room together. The braided man knew when his friend needed company minus any and all conversation; it was one of the many idiosyncrasies about Heero that Duo simply attributed to his stoic friend wihtout question.

Mulling over past accounts and circumstances, Heero answered, "You're there when I do want to talk, which isn't often. You're the person I trust most to back me up. You're my best friend, and I probably have a convoluted understanding of that term, but I've come to see that you understand me more than anyone else we know. Sometimes you just sit in my office quietly when at first I don't think I want company, but your presence makes me feel better. Nobody else can sit in the same room as me and not talk, except Trowa. But he doesn't give me the comfort that you do. Which doesn't make sense to me, but that's just how it is. You never ask me about my upbringing, and though I would be more at ease talking to you about it, Relena never let the subject drop…If I want to talk about it, I'll talk about it."

Removing his limb from his eyes, Duo responded truthfully, "If you want to talk about it, I would like to hear it. I could tell you about my childhood too."

"No," Heero answered firmly. "If I ever feel the need to speak about it I'll go to a therapist first, and then maybe you, but as of right now…I don't wish to reflect on it. If you still have the desire to tell me more about you're childhood then I'm all ears."

"I don't really feel like talking about it yet either."

Finishing up their breakfast, they took their remaining cups of lukewarm coffee to Heero's truck. The drive was relatively silent in a tranquil manner; the braided man downed the rest of his beverage while staring out the window at the passing scenery. Heero shifted nervously in the driver's seat. His mind kept turning back to the thing he'd done last night, and the items he'd packed. There was something he need – and indeed wanted – to do, but going about it was going to be awkward for sure. Usually Duo's incessant talking would keep him distracted from inner dialogue, but he didn't want to break the comfortable silence. Without looking, the blue-eyed man turned on his MP3 player that was plugged into the AUX unit in his car. The song started right off the bat with soft lyrics and a low bass line. /I brought you something close to me…/ (1). Mindlessly rolling his head with the tune, the trance-like melody pushed the braided further into a more relaxed and happy state of mind.

Turning off the paved road, Duo read a small sign that read "Holy Jim Canyon". The terrain became uneven and bumpy after a mile, and the Japanese man took the narrow road slowly.

"How'd you find this place?" Duo asked, gazing intently at the beautiful green foliage. It was so delightful and far away from the concrete jungle (i.e. the city) that it brought great excitement to the violet-eyed man. A chance to get away from it all. A chance to find peace amongst nature. Sometimes it surprised him how he found Earth so beautiful; you could never find a secluded woodsy area on L2 or any other colony.

Heero answered, "I hike low pedestrian trails on my free time. This is one my favorites and one of the most lovely. There's a small waterfall two miles in."

"A waterfall?! Really? That's fuckin' awesome!"

"Yeah, there's a better waterfall in Black Star, but that is a longer hike on an unmapped trail."

"Don't think I coulda handle it, eh?"

"No, I rather show you this one first because this waterfall isn't as impressive as Black Star's. Didn't want to diminish the beauty of this one by showing you Black Star's first."

"…You're weird."

"So I've been told."

"It's cool. I like weird."

"So you like me?"

"Didn't you figure that out in the locker room, which led to all these weird-ass dates."

"Yes…do you mean weird as in bad?"

"Didn't I just say I like weird?"

"Most people would categorize bizarre as an undesirable feature."

"I'm not 'most people', and neither are you."

"Good point," Heero affirmed and parked the car.

Both slung their backpacks over their shoulders and started down the beaten path. Over the course, they chatted idly and enjoyed each other's company. Forty-five minutes later they made it to the falls. It wasn't a gushing river over the edge of a towering embankment, but a simple heavy stream running down a rocky façade. Nonetheless, it was still beautiful with moss growing up the jagged edges of dark rock, plant life veining towards the water, up to the sun.

"This is so amazing," Duo whispered.

Eyeing his comrade, Heero agreed, "Yeah, it is."

The braided man noticed that Heero wasn't looking at the fall but at himself. Smirking dubiously he asked, "How amazing is it?"

His blue eyes didn't register his stalker like gaze had been perceived. "Breathtaking."

Blushing, the violet-eyed man shyly churned his jaw and grinned reluctantly. "I agree," he responded, eyes still fixed on the scenery. "You're pretty breathtaking yourself."

This time Heero flushed, cleared his throat, and marched further down the trail. Duo followed, chuckling under his breath. They hiked for another hour before finding a clearing. A large hill to the left the trail covered in soft, lush green grass. They agreed to take a break and munch on their snacks. Heero wandered off to take a leak in privacy. While unattended, Duo rifled through the Japanese mans pack for better treats, and what he found made his eyes bug comically out of his head. In his hands was a blue wool plaid blanket, a tube of lube, and baby wipes.

Walking back to his comrade, Heero saw that Duo grasped in his hands those two blush worthy items.

"I, uh, uh, I-I, uuuhhhh," the blue-eyed man stammered as his face turned beat red.

"I take it you were planning on some kind of sexual interaction to happen, ya?"

Heero nodded.

"Didn't I say this kind of thing might be too fast for us?"

Heero nodded again.

"So why did you bother to bring these things?"

"Because I want to try…and because I'm ready to."

Well…that was unexpected. "You're…you're ready?" Duo parroted.

Again, Heero replied with a nod of his tousled head.

Staring at the items in his hand, Duo quirked, "I get the blanket and the lube, but why the wipes?"

"My…extensive research illuminated to me that it could get me-messy if the proper precautions aren't taken care of."

"What precautions did you take?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, that blush refused to subside and he couldn't muster up the emotional distance to vanquish it. "I, um, did a cleansing and shaved this morning."

"You mean you did an enema, and you shaved."

"Uh huh."

"Like front to back? You shaved it all?"

"Yes."

"That's thoughtful of you. It makes doing certain things more enjoyable to do," Duo appeased.

"Yeah? Like what?"

"Well, if I want to rim you, I'd rather there be no body hair in the way."

"Rim," Heero mimicked. "The act of performing oral sex on outer and inner sanctions of the anus."

"Yes, that is the textbook definition of it."

"That's something you want to do?" Heero asked, face twisting into a cringe.

"I do like doing it," Duo admitted. "But we don't have to do that today."

"Can we do something today?"

"Sure, uh, I guess. Errr, what do you want to experience? And don't say sex. No one is getting penetrated today. I'll do somethings, but that is not on the docket. We're sticking with the going slow thing."

"Not even fingers?"

"Maybe we can do that, but no penis is going inside anyone's…anus," Duo reiterated lightly and decided to use decent language than foul wording.

"You mean rectum."

"Yeah, sure, whatever. It's not going to happen."

"Alright," Heero conceded, and unceremoniously began to strip.

"W-wha-what are you doing?"

"Removing my clothing so we can, literally, get down to business," Heero threw out nonchalantly and pushed his jeans down.

"We're doing this here?!" the braided man squeaked. Heero nodded and removed his grey boxer briefs. "You're uncut," Duo observed in that high-pitched peep.

Toeing off his socks, the Japanese man questioned, "Is my un-circumcision an issue?"

"No, no. I hear the foreskin adds more sensitivity and pleasure."

"My research agrees with your statement, but I can't vouch for it."

Heero took the blanket from Duo's grasp, and the braided man had to turn his head sharply as the blue-eyed man's bare groin got too close to his face. "Oh dear god," the violet-eyed man chirped, blushed, and felt his half hard erection pulse to full arousal. This was so different from what he had imagined, and the squeakiness of his voice couldn't be fought off.

Heero laid on his back on the blanket, arms pressed tightly to his sides, legs bent at the knee and spread wide. Duo gazed at him in disbelief; his comrade was going about this in all the wrong ways. He wasn't even physically aroused!

"What are you doing?" Duo groaned, and covered his face with both hands.

"Waiting for you to start."

"This is not how we should do this."

"What do you mean?"

"Is this how you and Relena got intimate?"

"We never got further than brief make out sessions and simple groping."

"Oh…" For some reason that brought a smile to Duo's face. Still fully clothed, Duo climbed between Heero's parted legs and hovered over him.

"What are you doing?" Heero asked.

Duo implored, "You really want to do this?"

"Yes."

"Then you should know you're too tense, and we can get to this point in a less straight forward manner."

"Okay…I'm starting to feel a little embarrassed, so can we stop talking and just do whatever."

Duo pushed himself back and stripped off his own shirt. He flopped back down to linger above Heero again. A wicked smile spread across his face, and he taunted, "You sure you want to do - "

"Oh, just fucking kiss me alre-murrffphhzzz!"

The braided man laughed against Heero's scowling lips. Off to a strange start, the kiss eased something sensual and easy. Duo rested his full weight on top of Heero, which allowed the Japanese man to run his blunt nails up Duo's back and bury his fingers under the base of the violet-eyed mans braid. Bracing his arms under Heero's shoulders, he cradled that dark head of hair, rolled his thumbs over the Japanese man's ears, and inhaled the throaty groan that escaped the man beneath him. Raising his hips to grind against the pelvic bone above him, Heero didn't find the cargo pant's texture all that friendly. Shoving his hands between them, the blue-eyed man – who's tongue was in the midst of an either-side-wins battle, wins – shoved his hands between their two bodies and undid, pushed down, and groped at the taut bulge under cotton boxers. This was one of the tests they had to conquer. Heero was elated to find himself even more titillated at having another man's sex in his hand. Duo was fearful that Heero would pull back, push him away and freak out, but Heero grew noticeably more daring and needy.

Both bodies flared ten degrees as the make out session progressed into unknown territory. Preconceived notions were lost, self-consciousness abandoned, the natural heady flow of desire took the forerunner. Their legs intertwined, wrapping around each other for anchor. Heero's back lifted from the blanket, arched instinctively into the body above him, grazing their bare chests together in heated needy comfort. Duo obliged by sinking his weight further downward, pressing and rubbing against Heero's body in appreciation. The flesh-to-flesh contact raised both of their bodily temperatures even more, heightening them to an unbearable peak. Aroused, and in desiring for further bare body exposure, Heero pushed down Duo's red boxers with his feet. Duo lifted his hips in attempt to appease the needs of the man beneath him, but the second their bare groins made contact, he gasped, coughed, and wheezed. Overwhelmed with the sensation of his wet dreams grinding against him in reality, Duo lost all inhibitions. Kneading in the back of his throat wantonly, Duo ground his hips along Heero's, and found a way for sexual gratification that they both sought without penetration.

He lulled, rolled, and wiggled his hips to add more and less friction between Heero's member and his in the sake of Frottage (2). The violet-eyed man wasn't displeased when Heero responded naturally; bucking his hips, clawing at his arms, whining for more without putting his needs into words.

Rolling over, pulling Heero on top, the braided man thrusted upwards harshly, their engorged organs collided roughly, and Duo's cock slipped between Heero's legs, and brushed past his testicles and against his taint (3).

Breathlessly, the dry humped against each other. It was more than the satisfaction they were looking for. Jumping into sex would only add complications to this knew…whatever it was. The rubbing, gliding, and dry humping techniques brought them both close to the edge of orgasmic bliss. Heero whined loudly in the back of this mouth, tore his lips away from Duo's, and sunk his teeth into soft white pale neck-skin with a little more aggression than he intended, but the violet-eyed man respond favorably. On top, Heero was free to buck, roam, and ride to his desire. With their hard cocks making intimate, soft and rough contact, Duo too was creating sounds of whimpering pleasure. The tip of his cock pressed hard against the blue-eyed man's taint again, and Heero gasped sharply, enthralled with the attention.

Clenching both shoulders in his fearful strong grasp, Duo asked in all serious manner, for he felt too close to tumbling head first over the edge, "Th-th-is is wh-what you wan-ant, yeah?" But he couldn't cease his hips from thrusting upwards if he wanted to.

Heero squirmed frantically above him. The ever-increasing body temperature, twitching limbs, and the new experience of engaging someone in this kind of sexual endeavor kept him from answering verbally. Panting thickly against each other's mouths, Heero couldn't take the growing tension between his legs, so he reached between, gripped his and Duo's cocks in one hand, and stroked. Hard. The added tonic of his fist tossed Heero over the edge into oblivion, as if he were a lost space particle being sucked into a black hole. He came, and came hard. Resting his head on Duo's shoulder, a strangled sob of sorts wrenched its way up from the pit of stomach. All the violet-eyed man could do was grip at Heero's protruding shoulder blades as he felt that hot bodily fluid pulsate and spread across his stomach. Duo honestly thought Heero would cease and not worry about him finding release, but he was more than pleasantly surprised when the dark-haired man kept pumping his hand over his dick, even changing the technique. Post orgasmic rush heightened when Heero felt the violet-eyed man tense, squeak helplessly, and reach his own end. Heero watched enthralled as Duo came, adding more white milky substance to his stomach and lower chest. Unconsciously, he was about to do something very bold, his mouth-watering and wanting to taste their combined pleasure, but Duo hauled him forward, kissed him roughly, and their essences was spread between them like jam and peanut butter between two slices of moist bread. Embraced tightly, their over sensitizied tongues danced for a dominance that didn't matter.

The emotions raging between them were strong and terrifying. This, this is what Duo had always fantasized about, but the fantasy could never live up to or exceed the reality. Would he be let down in the long run? Heartbroken at the end? Or worse, would he be the one to end it all? Did the questions even matter? Wasn't life about living in the moment and riding the crashing waves and let it land wherever it may?

Heero's feelings were a different kind of battlefield. This was the most intense, honest, intimate, easy-going thing that he'd ever experienced. Did this mean he was gay? /Fuck that, it doesn't even matter now./ And it didn't, that wasn't the query that would keep him up at night. How would he react if Duo cut it off? Refused to be his partner on assignments? Wasn't there when he needed him to be. The deprived Japanese man was by far from understanding the concepts of ambiguous emotion dubbed "Love", but he was learning quickly. This was far from the strained, forced encounters between him and Relena.

Love. Love was that thing that romantic comedies dictated came easily, unforced, and overall natural. No sentiment of wrongness, depending on the era one lived in…and his was far from most hurtful prejudices. At this point, all Heero knew was that he'd be hurt if Duo pulled away, ran away and hid in the shadows. That just wasn't something he could take.

The two internally quarreling men laid on the blanket, entwined for a long time. Gathering their breaths and the extreme euphoria battled with their insecurities, but the moment was cut short for violet eyes spied an intruder.

"Don't do anything," Duo whispered in Heero's ear.

Not sure what that statement meant, Heero nodded and hummed in agreement. A moment later he pushed softly from the braided mans chest, the absence of bodily comfort was colder than he would have anticipated and unwelcomed.

Duo sat up and Heero was sure he was going to dress quickly and attempt to pretend that what had just taken place hadn't happened.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN' AT?" Duo bellowed. Heero sat up offended, determined to scream back, but he saw who Duo was yelling at and fell back to hide on the blanket for all that was worth. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Duo yelled at the pudgy man standing in the middle of the trail with his football sized Chihuahua on an orange leash. The man turned and walked back down the path, completely unfazed. Duo was on the verge of boiling over at the intimate moment coming to an abrupt, harsh end, but he kept his volatile temper under control. They were outside in the open of course; he couldn't blame someone for stumbling across them.

"Sorry," Heero mumbled apologetically into the blanket.

"Sorry?" Duo questioned. "Why the hell are you sorry?"

"We shouldn't have done this outside."

Duo laughed, anger subsiding. "Don't worry about it. That comes with the territory of being exhibitionists. Gotta say, I'm surprised you were down for such a display where prying eyes could see."

Thunder roared above them, and their eyes shot up to the see dark billowing clouds.

"You didn't happen to check the forecast today, did you?"

"…No."

The heated air they'd created made them oblivious to the dropping temperatures in the air. And then, the Gods opened the clouds and a down pour fell. Scrambling frantically, the two men through their clothes back on, packed their stuff back into their backpacks, and ran down the trail. Along their four-mile sprint, they passed the obese man – who was smart enough to bring an umbrella – and his shivering pint-sized rat dog. By and by, they reached Heero's car in a little over forty minutes completely out of breath, mud caked to their calves, and drenched to the bone. Hopping into the car Duo apologized for getting mud all over the floor and soaking the seat.

"Don't worry about," Heero assured, and removed his sopping tank. Turning the key in the ignition, the Japanese man blasted the heater. Turning to look at the violet-eyed man, Heero asked, "What do you want to do now?"

"Get some dry clothes at my place and eat some lunch. You can borrow some of my shit."

"Hn."

So, they did just that. Duo changed into black jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt. He tossed red sweat pants and grey shirt at Heero.

"Wow, you own clothing that aren't black," the blue-eyed man teased.

"Hardy-har," Duo mocked. "I just don't were 'em often cuz black is my favorite color, duh."

"Black isn't a color. It's a shade," Heero corrected.

"Then it looks like I don't have a favorite color."

"My favorite color is green."

"Really? You don't say. Woulda never have guess since you wear green almost everyday," jested Duo as he unraveled his wet braid and shook it out.

Suddenly flustered, Heero realized how amazing Duo looked with his hair down and stringy with dampness. The confusion came from never having noticed it before because he had certainly seen Duo freshly showered in the gym locker room on several occasions, so why was this time so different? Was this the power physical intimacy held? Was what they had done illuminating the violet-eyed man in a bright new shining light, hyper focusing on every attractive feature and amplifying them into pristine clarity? If sex had that kind of effect maybe he should have done it with Relena…/No, that would have just made it harder to break up with her./ Heero could feel his vision of the braided man changing rather quickly over the past three days. He was no longer Duo, but Duo. Maybe the attraction had always been there and he'd just been too blind and ignorant to acknowledge it, but now the veil had been lifted, and everything was going to change between them…everything was already changing, reshaping their dynamic, and though it was somewhat nerve-racking it was far out weighed by the excitement.

Coming back down to earth, the Japanese man realized his face was two inches away from Duo's who was looking at him with a bemused expression. Placing one finger under Heero's jaw, the America pushed up and closed Heero's mouth. "You'll catch flies if you keep your mouth open like that," he laughed, causing the blue-eyed man to blush and clear his throat nervously. "Come on, let go eat. We'll take my car."

"You have a car?"

"Of cour- OH MY GOD!" He shrieked.

"What? What?"

"I'VE NEVER SHOWN YOU MY BABY PANTHER!" Perplexed, Heero simply stared at Duo. "I call her my Baby P! She's awesome! Come on!" He yanked and Heero's arm and hauled him the garage. Flipping on the lights, Duo released Heero's bicep and wave his arms wildly through the air. "TA DAAAAA!"

Heero glared at the black car. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be impressed, cars weren't really his thing. "Cool?" he squeaked.

"Cool? COOL?! This baby is motherfuckin' top shit right here, buddy! I call her Baby P because she's a Pantera. A nineteen ninety-one, heavy body, five hundred horse power, stunning piece of art!"

/Nineteen ninety-what?!/ "Goddamn, that's old!" Heero blurted, but his outburst was an understatement. A car from the twentieth century in the AC era was simply unheard of unless it was on display in some museum. "Where the fuck did you get this thing?"

"I used some of my war funds to by my dream car, but first I had to figure out which car that was and when I did, I spared no expense. Got Baby P from a classic car collector in Las Vegas, Nevada, and now she's mine. All mine," Duo ended his little gushing speech on a whimsical note. "Come on, hop in! Let's get some grub!"

They got into the classic sports car and Duo ignited his "baby" to life.

"It sure is louder than cars these days," Heero noted over the roaring engine.

Boasting, Duo added, "I know! Isn't it great?!"

'Great' might not be the word Heero would have chosen, but seeing Duo so overwhelmed with giddiness made him agree with a nod of his head. Flooring it in reverse, they lurched out of the garage and sped down the road. The Japanese man hung on to the car for dear life. Of course Duo was speed demon, and Heero mentally slapped himself in the face for thinking the braided devil wouldn't drive like he was on a race track, barreling towards red lights and taking each turn sharply causing the wheels to screeeeecch along the wet asphalt. He prayed they wouldn't hydroplane.

Lost in a state of euphoria, Duo sang loudly with the song that blared through the speakers, "You can do me up like Woodrow Wilson, carry my children…" (4) Utterly ignoring Heero's state of fear.

Eventually, they parked outside of local burger joint, and Heero exited the car on shaky legs. The sky still poured buckets of water, so they had to run in quickly before getting drenched again. It was warm and cozy in the diner, and just as they were about to be seated by the hostess they heard, "DUO! HEERO! OVER HERE!"

Turning, they saw their blond comrade waving his arm through the air, smiling widely. Next to Quatre sat his boyfriend, their other friend, Trowa. Duo groaned knowing they'd have to go sit with them. He just wanted this date to go uninterrupted - though it felt more like hanging out with sex-curricular activities – but God was not on his side today.

Sitting down across from their two lovebird friends, the first thing that popped out of Quatre's face was, "What are you guys doing today?"

Without thinking, Heero proclaimed, "We're on a da-" SMACK! Duo's hand covered his mouth and prevented him from speaking.

"We're just hanging out. Ya know, doing stuff. Together. Like normal people do," jabbered Duo.

Both Trowa and Quatre ogled their un-braided friend as if he'd sprouted a second head.

"Stuff…like what?" Trowa asked.

Duo removed his hand from Heero's face who was giving him a vicious Death Glare and rambled, "Hikin'. We went on a hike. Got some fresh air. Smelled the flowers. It was cool. 'Ro showed me a waterfall."

"You went hiking in this weather?" Quatre wondered.

Heero opened his mouth to speak but Duo cut him off. "Yup, yup. Wasn't rainin' cats and dogs when we left this mornin', and we didn't check the forecast so we kinda got caught up in it, but yeah. It was fun while it lasted."

Irritated would be labeling Heero's current mood mildly. Obviously Duo didn't want their friends to know they were on a date, and the reasons behind that were lost on him. So he fell into his usual rigid composure, kept his mouth shut, and allowed the people around him to converse without his input. They ordered and ate their food, talked about the mundane, and Heero only spoke when directly spoken to…which Duo avoided, evidently.

Heero excused himself to use the restroom, and was relieved to find it empty. He needed some empty space to think. Splashing water on his face, he took a few deep breaths, and then the door opened and Quatre walked in, killing the solitary heaven with his mere presence.

Crossing his arms over his chest and leaning one hip against the first skin in a row of four, Quatre ventured, "You going to tell me what's going on?"

Playing dumb, Heero shrugged, "What do you mean?"

"I'm getting mixed emotions from the both of you, and don't try to tell me some bull crap story. This," he pointed at his heart, "knows all, so you may as well come clean."

"Just what are you picking up from me with your damned space heart?" Heero demanded, unwilling to simply open up.

Rolling his sky blue eyes, the blond man asked, "I don't really need to tell you what you're feeling, do I?"

"Wha…what's Duo feeling?" Heero asked curiously as he glared at his reflection.

"He's, well, it's weird, but he's extremely happy and scared at the same time." That eased some of his frustration. "I've never seen him in public with his hair down. He's obviously at ease and guarded at the same time. Care to shed some light on what's going on between you two?"

"It's just…stuff."

Quatre's eyes bugged out of his head. "You mean like romantic stuff?!" Heero was going to deny, but the blond went on, "Don't lie! I can feel it! I can feel your sentiment for him! Oh my god! Are you two hooking up or something?" He didn't need an answer for his invasive Space Heart knew. "Holy crow! You are! I knew this would happen at some point! No one else thought Duo had a chance in hell with you, but I did! Are you dating? Oh no, what happened to Relena? You're not cheating on her are you?! Heero Yuy, if you two-time anyone I'll kick your ass! I swea-"

"Fucking Christ Quatre, shut up! Yes, we are on a date. No I'm not 'two timing' anyone. I broke up with Relena on Friday, and now I'm figuring stuff out with Duo. Jesus, you're just as bad as he is. Fuck!"

"Sorry," Quatre laughed a half assed apology. "Well I'm glad you two are doing this."

"Yeah well, he doesn't seem to want anyone to know about it, so keep your mouth shut."

"Aww," Quatre drawled. "That bothers you. I could tell you why, but I think you should communicate with him."

Heero begged, "No, please. Just tell me."

"Hmm, no." And with that, Quatre bounced out of the restroom leaving the Japanese man irked for a whole new reason.

While they were in the bathroom, Trowa stared down Duo with a heavy blank gaze.

"Whaaat?" Duo hissed, glaring daggers at his friend and fiddling with his loose hair. "Don't like my hair down or somethin'? Too bad, it doesn't dry when it's all braided up and drenched. Did you enjoy your lunch? I really like my cheesebur-"

"Stop it."

"Stop, what?"

"Stop your nervous babbling and tell me what's going on," Trowa demanded.

"I haven't the slightest idea of what you're talkin' 'bout."

Trowa glared. "Don't play dumb, Maxwell. You only chatter a mile a minute when you're nervous about something, and Heero was scowling at his food like it might dare jump up and eat him. Besides, he seemed in good spirits when you two sat down, but then you stopped him from talking and he got all tense and cold."

"He did?" Duo asked, solemnly.

"Yes, he did. So what gives?"

Crossing his arms defensively, Duo grunted, "None of your business."

The green-eyed man was shocked by his friends' standoffishness, and was about to argue when Quatre came back to the table followed shortly by Heero. They paid their bills and bade each other farewell at the door.

Back in the Pantera, the braided man shifted to look at Heero and questioned, "Are you upset about something?"Shrugging his shoulders, Heero kept his gaze fixated on the passengers' window. Exhaling a large sigh, Duo continued, "You know, we're gonna have to talk for this to wor-"

"Okay fine," Heero interrupted. "I'll talk. Why didn't you want them to know we're dating?" Surprised by the angry tone, Duo said nothing. "Are you embarrassed or something? Ashamed?"

"No! God, no!" he retorted. "It's just that this," we gestured his hands between the two of them, "is still in like, you know, beta testing. I don't want everyone sticking their nose in this yet since we don't even know what the hell is gonna happen. I just feel like if everyone knew, they'd be taking bets on whether we work out or not, that's all."

"…I guess I can understand that."

"So can we keep this a secret for now?"

"Yeah," Heero agreed, purposefully omitting the fact that Quatre figured it out on his own with that nosy Space Heart of his.

Leaning forward, Duo cupped the back of Heero's head, running his fingers through silky dark brown locks, and kissed him sweetly.

Since it was only mid afternoon, they decided to go back to Duo's apartment to hangout. It appeared the rain was not going to let up anytime soon, so they settled for watching movies. Duo's television was located in his bedroom, so clearly, that's where they ended up.

"Is your bed big enough?" Heero asked sarcastically, eyeing the unmade queen sized bed.

The violet-eyed man laughed. "Hey, sleep is a luxury, and I want the best. Sit. It's a pillow top so it's super comfy."

Uncomfortable, Heero sat at the edge and nodded. He'd never been in Duo's bedroom before, and when he dated Relena he'd only gone through her room to either find her or sweep it for bugs, something job related. Part of him felt like he shouldn't be in the room, and that it was a more intimate atmosphere than fooling around out in the open. He reminded himself that Duo was adamant about taking things slow, so why was he getting so worked up? It was an odd combination of things. He was already wearing Duo's clothes, and now sitting on his plush bed, poor Heero could feel the awkwardness creeping up on him like spiders crawling up his back.

"Chillax, 'Ro. Pick a movie," Duo said with the nod of his head at the collection of DVD's on the dresser by the large high definition TV. Reading the titles, Heero noticed the braided man was a big horror movie fanatic, but he wasn't in the mood for blood and guts. After living such a violent life watching violent movies didn't seem so appealing. One title stood out, a bizarre sounding title and he picked it from the pile to view the cover. Some kind of cartoon, a claymation film from the looks of it.

"Is this any good?" Heero asked, intrigued.

"The Nightmare Before Christmas? Hell yeah it's good. One of the best clay animated movies ever."

"Okay, let's watch it."

"Really? Doesn't seem like the kinda flick you'd pick, but okay."

"What kind of movie do you think I'd choose?"

"I dunno, a documentary or something."

"Do you have any?"

"Um, no."

Heero chuckled, "Didn't think so."

Popping the movie in, Heero sat stiffly at the end of the bed again, while Duo got comfy against the headboard and pillows. "You can sit back here, ya know."

Peering over his shoulder, he could see Duo was almost done rebraiding his hair. "Why are you putting your hair back?" He asked.

"Cuz it's dry now."

"I like it down."

Smirking, Duo shook his head back and forth, letting the long chestnut locks to unravel. "Alright. I'll leave it down, but you gotta come sit back here by me." He patted the mattress next to him with a big cheeky grin.

Scooting back, Heero nestled himself amongst the pillows – that of which there were approximately seven on the queen sized bed – brought his knees and attempted to find comfort. Duo was also feeling unsure and tense. Of course the bed and all the plush pillows weren't to blame for restless atmosphere but the desire to be closer, and neither one wanting to close the gap. Just because they'd taken one step into sexual territory didn't mean everything was going to flow smoothly and all uncertainties would evaporate. If anything it compounded them. Duo was still having a hard time believing all this was happening. It was like a dream, and their mutual touching already felt like it happened eons ago. Heero was warring with the unfamiliar need to cuddle, and he hated that term. He was not the tactile person that Duo was, and he was telepathically begging the American to close the distance. But neither of them moved for the first half of the movie. As subtly as possible, Duo leaned towards Heero, slumping to the left and extending his long legs. There was still a good six inches between them, and he hoped he came off as simply readjusting his position to give the appearance of relaxed. Undoubtedly, Heero missed the hint and remained were he was.

Annoyed with the tension, Duo blurted, "Are you okay with what happened early?"

Befuddled, the blue-eyed man stated, "Yes. I already told you that I understand you not wanting our friends to know about us."

"No, not that. I mean what happened on the trail."

"Oh, that."

"Yeah, that."

"Yes, I'm o-okay with that. I enjoyed it," Heero admitted with a raging blush. "D-did you?"

"Pft, yeah," Duo grinned and tugged on Heero's shirt to make him lean and finally close that remaining gap.

Snuggling together lifted most of their insecurities for the time being. Once the movie ended, Duo talked Heero into watching a psychological thriller – no blood and guts – and they continued to cuddle under the comforter Duo pulled over them. Warm and cozy, the heat began to build in another way. Heero's left hand pressed precariously against Duo's upper thigh under the blanket. In return, the violet-eyed man had his right arm around Heero's shoulder, thumb drawing lazy circles, their heads touching lightly.

Taking a bold step, Duo turned his attention away from the movie and softly drew his lips up the column of Heero's tan soft neck, breathing out intentionally. The response he got was favorable. Heero gasped, shivered, and arched his neck to give Duo more ground to play with. Pressing his mouth more firmly along the palpitating vein, he kissed and licked along skin offered to him. When he got to his earlobe, Heero moaned at the overwhelming sensation. It was so hot, and Duo's shallow panting was a pornographic symphony ringing loudly in his eardrum. Tracing his tongue behind the shell of his ear, Duo drew the lobe into his mouth and nipped at it harshly. Heero whimpered and flinched, but didn't ward off the treatment. He'd come to learn that Duo was a biter.

With Relena, Heero never did anything with his hands until she physically placed over her breasts, but with the violet-eyed man he didn't feel any hesitation in groping his dick over the jeans. Inhaling sharply, Duo placed his mouth back on the others throat and attacked it with kindled fervor, biting and sucking earnestly. It pleased him greatly to know that Heero wasn't going to shy away from the appendage that made him a man. It gave him hope. The assault on his neck lasted longer than he could handle, so he removed his hand from between Duo's legs, shoved it under his side, and pulled Duo to lay atop him. Complying, the violet-eyed man rested his full weight on the body below. Heero wasn't sure what it was but having that heaviness pressing down on him was erotic in its own right. Face to face, they ventured into making out heavily, opening their mouths wide, sliding tongue against tongue, gasping for air during temporary detachment.

Heero sank his fingers into that loose, waterfall of hair at the back of Duo's head to deepen the kiss. His counterpart pushed his hips down for friction, wiggled a hand between them and tweaked Heero's right nipple harshly through the grey shirt.

Pulling back and thrusting his head into the pillows, Heero breathlessly asked, "You like to play rough, don't you?"

Nipping along his jaw Duo hummed in the affirmative. "Am I," he husked, "being too aggressive for you?"

"Please, as along as you don't shoot me again I'll be fine."

That made Duo laugh, a rumble that vibrated from his chest against the man below him. "Does that mean I can stab you?" He joked.

Tensing his thighs and rolling his hips upwards, the Japanese man answered through clattering teeth, "Yeah, you can stab me alright. With that."

Groaning, eyes rolling back in his head, Duo vainly tried to restrain himself. "You're so…so," he fought for the right words. "Malleable and submissive, why is that?" He didn't particularly care for the reasons. In all of his fantasies Heero was aggressive and demanding, a stark to reality which only heightened his arousal.

"I dunno," Heero mumbled into Duo's shoulder as he nipped at him through the shirt.

Loving the continuing dialogue, Duo pressed, "Oh come on, tell me. Is it because you're a virgin?"

Brows pinching together, Heero revealed, "I'm not a virgin."

"Hmm," he hummed. "But you told me you never had sex with Relena."

"That's because I didn't have sex with her," Heero intoned monotonously. Happy tension fading fast, quickly replaced with apprehension for where this topic might lead.

Teething the collarbone, the American asked, "Who was your first?" The change in atmosphere and Heero's lack of reciprocation had yet to dawn on him. That is until Heero didn't say anything. Pushing himself up, Duo peered down at Heero who glared at the left wall. A sinking feeling caused his muscles to tighten and all excited heat sucked quickly out of the room. What had he said? He wasn't trying to make his friend uncomfortable, but he'd clearly done something, said something wrong. On the verge of apologizing, Heero cut him off.

"It's one of those things that has to do with my past that I don't want to talk about," he explained. Looking up into concerned violet-blue orbs, the Japanese mans features relaxed, a deep despair wafting in Prussian blue eyes.

Duo knew that look. Had seen it in his own mirrored reflection for the longest time. "It's okay," he soothed. "I was…I was raped too."

Eyebrows shooting up, lids opening widely, Heero belted, "I wasn't raped!" All sensitivity for the personal matter gone in a flash only to be replaced with guilt for being so harsh.

That defensive outburst made Duo lurch back on his knees, ending all contact. He scooted to the end of the bed and folded his legs Indian style while still facing Heero. "Well, obviously I was," he shot back curtly.

"I'm sorry," Heero apologized, pushing his back against the headboard. "I didn't mean to be so, so, so…"

"So rude?"

"Yes," he admitted quietly, guiltily.

Duo waited for him to say something more, but that didn't seem likely. So he asked, "So?"

"So, what?"

"Well now you know my 'first time'. I think it's only fair you share yours."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's bad."

"Seriously?!" Duo shrieked, anger getting the better of him. "Worse than being raped at ten years old, are you fucking kidding me?"

Staring at his friend in shock, Heero had never seen Duo's rage directed at him in such a fashion. He didn't think he could return the honesty, dreading it would end their entire friendship, undo the bonds that had brought them together. Frustrated, Duo punched the bed and was half up, intended on stomping out of the room when Heero blurted, "Alright! I'll tell you!" It only seemed fair, even though it was a childish notion that Heero should respond in kind with his own story.

Taking a deep breath, Heero summoned all his control, restraint, and courage to speak the truth. Fixing his gaze on the wall, mindfully avoiding Duo's ever expressive eyes, he began to speak. "I was…I was…retrained…"

"Yeah, that much I know," Duo responded indignantly.

He ignored the comment and forced himself to continue. "I was retrained…and part of that process included sex...sexual coercion." His voice broke along with his heart at the end of that confession. Saying it aloud for the first time made the weight of the truth unbearable. Reluctantly, his eyes filled with tears while waiting patiently for Duo to tell him to get the fuck out and never speak to him again.

For a moment Duo forgot to breath. /…sexual coercion...as in rape training?…/ Nausea twisted his stomach into painful knots, imaginary claws dug into his heart. It was so sick. So wrong. His shoulders began to shake, and for the first time in a long while, he was truly afraid of Heero. Fear or not, he had to ask, "Did you want to do it?"

"No!" came the swift, angry answer. "T-th-they m-ma-made m-me." The unfortunate stutter from his childhood gained new life in his ferment.

"How in the fuck does someone make you do that?"

Tearing his eyes from wall, holding back the tears that threatened to fall, he yelled, "By putting a shock collar on you that sends ninety volts of electricity through your system with an added shot of adrenaline so you don't pass out! That's how! I withstood it for as long as I could, okay! I was twelve, weak, tired and hungry! I co-co-couldn't t-ta-ta-tak-take it an-an-any-anymore!"

Like a taut spring snapped loose, he shot up and bolted from the room, sprinting for the front door, forgetting his clothes that had finally dried and car keys, he would run home, but he was tackled in the living room.

Face down on the carpet, Heero vainly fought the sobs that finally gained purchase and escaped. Arms wrapped around Heero's chest, Duo squeezed with all his might. Tears of his own began to trickle down his face to fall into Heero's hair. "It's okay," he beseeched. "You're not the monster you think you are. You're just a fucked up person. Equally as fucked as me."

"I'm the exact opposite of you," he sobbed.

"I don't think so," Duo argued, resting his cheek on the soft hair. "You didn't want to do it, right?"

Heero shook his head.

"Did you ever use that training?"

Again, the Japanese man shook his head.

"Then you're nothin' like the animal who abused me. You're good, Heero. You're a good person who's done great things. You may have blood on your hands, but so do I. You're good, you're good…" his litany continued softly until the man below him ceased to weep and tremble.

Duo hung tightly to Heero, afraid that if he'd let go Heero would make a break for it. He couldn't help but cry along with him. He'd never seen Heero, the "Perfect Soldier", so undeniably vulnerable. The whole experience added more cracks to his already tortured, misbegotten heart. That moment of fear was ill-founded, and he could see now that the pain of being raped and forced to rape were parallel. Cringing, he wished they had met in a different life under happier circumstance, but what was would always be. It was clear that this past incident was one of the many reason why Heero and Relena didn't work. How could she ever understand or sympathize with such a thing if she'd never been on either side.

After a long while, Heero tearducts dried out. He murmured solemnly against the carpet, "I should go."

Squeezing tighter, Duo countered, "Stay."

"Why?" Heero muttered.

"Because I want you to. Because I need to you to. Because I think you need it too…We'll go to work together."

"But that might raise some questions."

"I don't care," Duo assured. "Let everyone insinuate their own conclusions and gossip. Just please…stay."

"…okay," he whispered upon a breath.


A.N.: Alright, sorry. Meandering down Angst Ave it seems to be. I can only go back and undo so much pain until the fic decides what it shall be. I ask for no forgiveness, only assert an apology for those seeking a happy-go-lucky story…but hey, it's not over yet. Could still turn out that way. *shrugs*

1) The song Heero plays in his car is "Breathe" – Telepopmusik because I think 'Ro would like soft relaxing techno.

2) Frottage: a sexual act of rubbing two penises together. Does not include penetration, and can be just as enjoyable.

3) Taint: perineum (slang: dickroot), said to be the male "g-spot". Go figure, it's not the prostate, though you can stimulate both through penetration.

4) The song Duo sings in the car is "Dressed to Digress" by Boy Crisis (Nero Remix) (shitty/funny lyrics, good beat.)