Shuffle

Moonbite

Chapter 3

Drip.

Drip.

My mind seemed like it was firing in erratic bursts of dim awareness. Something was keeping me from becoming alert. It was something huge, draping, and coating my existence.

Drip.

Then I realized; it was pain. I hadn't felt pain this monolithic in a long time…it was so much that I felt susceptible to death from pure, undiluted agony at any moment.

"Rin-kun. You're finally awake. I was worried you were going to keep sleeping forever," Kaede's voice mushed through my sphere of wooziness, sounding bright and sensual with an undertone of derision.

Drip.

Drip.

I breathed in, winced, and tried to achieve awareness of my surroundings. My eye adjusted to the shadowy lighting and I realized that I was in our family room. Kaede was standing in front of me, beaming a little too much for me to feel altogether comfortable.

Something was off, though, but I couldn't put my dazed finger on it.

Ohhh…I was handcuffed to the ceiling fan, hanging from it. No wonder I couldn't feel my arms at all.

I looked to the right and noticed a sandbag hanging from the fan blade opposite mine. Damn, she'd really thought this through, hadn't she?

"Rin-kun, it's about time for me to leave for school," Kaede said with a snap of her fingers. "Are you aware that it's Monday morning?"

Monday?! Just how long was I unconscious, anyway? Apparently not long enough for my eye socket's blood to clot…I guess she'd stabbed it a few times in my sleep. I looked over myself and noticed several long, dark red cut wounds laced throughout my naked body.

"Just how long were you planning on keeping me waiting? I guess it can't be helped that you're a weak, whimpering worm." She procured what I recognized as a crowbar (I immediately snapped awake with alarm at the sight of it in her hand) and used it as an extension of her arm to reach the light switch. Which, I realized with a nauseous recoiling of my stomach, activated the fan.

"Hoo-boy," I muttered, anticipating what was coming next.

BAM!

My anticipation didn't do much to block out the splattering feeling of a crowbar bashing into my fucking naked chest. I barked like a dog in shocked recoil.

"Rin-kun…" I heard her disconnected voice swirl about the room as the fan whirled me around (thudding into the jutting wall every time I passed it). "What do you think of my outfit today? Does it properly suit me?"

More proof that she lacks substantial grounds in reality.

"ANSWER!" she screeched, her voice cracking out of control. Another gushing impact from her crowbar met my midsection.

"ALRIGHT, alright," I shouted, trying to force down my ever-present urge to vomit. "Okay…as usual, I like...what you've done with it, yeah, you make the school uniform, um, look like, um…like it's very fashionable."

The crowbar came out of nowhere and bashed me in the face; I actually had to sob out of pain from the impact that time.

"Obvious bullshit! Tell me the truth, you pathetic little bitch!"

"It looks great! Sexy! I'm serious!" I plead.

BASH! In the crotch this time. Fucking HELL! That triggered a vomit reaction, which in turn sped up the bleeding from my eye socket from the clenching. Everything was a blur, and I felt seconds away from death.

"What do you want? What do you want me to say?" I whimpered in a painful way.

"I don't know! It's probably better if you don't say anything, you miserable BITCH!" Kaede popped me in the side of my skull, immediately causing my perception to dissipate entirely. Images schizophrenically warped through my mind's eye. I could feel myself heaving and urinating, and I was chewing on something very meaty…my tongue!

Somewhere along the line, the feeling of movement stopped, but there was something wrong…I was unable to focus on anything. Bursts of stars coated my dark sight, I was jerking my head around like a chicken, and I could feel foam accumulating heavily and dropping down my throat.

I realized in my incapacitated state that I was having a seizure. Focus was just not coming to me, and I vomited again, my body and legs flopping and contorting around uncontrollably. I had no control over anything at all!

The doorbell rang! It could be Kaede's father! I'm saved!

"Who the fuck?" Kaede said quite calmly, although I heard it in choppy bits. "Hang on a second, Rin-kun, and try to stop pissing everywhere."

I'm broken…I'll never be the same again. I'm dying…I can't even fucking breathe!

"Sakura!! It's Sakura-chan!" Kaede hissed from the window, obviously in a deep panic. I wasn't bothered, however.

Although I was still unable to see anything without it morphing derangedly into something resembling a Picasso painting, I felt Kaede climb up and unfasten my handcuffs. I was free!

"I s-can't believe it, I'm away!" I bubbled through my mouth foam in stupid celebration.

"GET in the bathroom! I'll clean all this shit up!" Kaede snapped.

"OKAY!!!" I exclaimed ecstatically, and began walking around directionless. I felt Kaede touch me and push me away somewhere. "Oh! I just remembered! I can't see anything!" I shouted, but it seemed that Kaede had already shut the door and thus would not be able to experience my epiphany alongside me.

I groped my way to the sink, in which I allowed my face to splat onto the bottom of the dish. It felt VERY nice to rest my bleeding face in the cool, ceramic container. I sighed and slurped in the pleasure, meditating there for about a minute.

When I raised my head, although still nauseous and disoriented, I was no longer in the throes of my seizure. All the pain replaced it, unfortunately. I groaned, ran the water, and dumbly stuck my face in the quietly-filling bowl, hoping to clean out my eye socket.

Sakura's here, huh? It took me a moment in my impaired state to remember, but it seemed to me that I used to have a friend named Sakura. She used to play with me and Kaede all the time, before Kaede pegged me as the bane of all reality. By then, Sakura had moved away…and…yeah, I guess that about covers it. I couldn't remember too much about her, but I had a feeling she was pretty nice…a true friend, just like Kaede used to be.

I lifted my face out of the blood-red pool of water just as Kaede opened the door. "GOOD, you're back to normal," Kaede growled hatefully. "Take a shower and put these on; I'm going to go let her in now. Do NOT let her find out, alright, faggot? Do you understand???" She was holding a pile of clothes for me (slashed, however) and my glass eye rested atop them.

I smiled warmly. "Thanks Kaede-chan, I'll try not to let you down."

Kaede sneered. "You're so ugly, I can barely stand to look at you. I'm sure Sakura-chan will be disappointed that you turned out so bad." She set down the pile and slammed the door shut in my face.

A shower would be nice, she was right. I slipped in past the glass door and turned the water on, thinking amidst the pain as I did. It might sound strange, but I actually still enjoy talking to Kaede like I was doing just then. When she's lucid, I mean. Even though she's antagonistic now, it's actually me talking to the real Kaede again (not the fake one at school with her friends or the soulless one that likes to hurt me). Just the knowledge of that gave me a good chill, which sort of weirded me out.

I was a little bit nervous about Sakura being there. This was my chance to score a good first impression…or second impression, actually…with her, being that it had been years since I'd seen her. Hopefully I could convince her that I was a somewhat good person, worthy of being friends with. The other girls at school already hate me so much from Kaede's constant gossip that I don't even have half a chance of getting them to change their minds about me.

Suddenly, I remembered the weirdness that went on the other day; Sia wanted to marry me! How exciting.

That's right…even if I screwed up this meeting with Sakura, I could still count on Sia liking me (at least superficially)! I just need to stay alive (and sane) long enough to somehow achieve marriage with her! Then I'm saved.

I daydreamed about it, tickled with delight, as I scrubbed my various bruises and gashes. Marriage…with a princess, even! It was still too much to really grasp. Perhaps it hadn't happened at all…no, I'm pretty sure that it did, I'd asked Sia and her dad about it several times. So, although I could barely understand how this could actually come to pass, I chose to hold on to that hope, to get me through whatever would come my way. Even if my hopes would eventually get crushed for some reason, I could still use that potential, dream future as a motivator just to survive, for the time being.

That settled, I quickly dried off and dressed, eager to get the meeting with this bitch out of the way. I ESPECIALLY had to get out there fast if I wanted to cut off Kaede's poisonous lie-telling. Arranged for marriage or not, I had a reputation to uphold!

I applied the makeup to my standout welts and bruises, getting much faster at the precise process the more I did it. After I was sure that I'd achieved that sacred balance in foundation between stealth and noticeability, I popped in my glass eye and…politely opened the door.

I did, however, stride out into the kitchen, in order to try and exude confidence I didn't have. Looking down, I opened my mouth to welcome Sakura and apologize for my lateness, but all words got lost in my throat. Sakura Yue…WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

WOW…I mean just WOW! I'm not really one to go by looks but DAMN! Attractiveness on this girl was not a deficiency. She was so pretty that I feared to dilute her graceful image by even breathing. I didn't feel worthy to even look at her at all! AND SHE'S LOOKING BACK AT ME! It was so stressful I had to bite my lip to keep from crying.

"Hi Rin-kun," she said in a soft voice with a smile that looked so RIGHT that I swear I lost a couple years on my life. I tried to wave, but it was really difficult. After I failed at that, I plopped down on the chair next to Kaede, facing Sakura.

"Are…you going to say anything…Rin-kun?" Kaede asked me coolly. I was worried she might blow her cover herself…a situation in which she would surely take her anger out on me anyway.

I smiled and asked, amidst nervous vibrations through my chest, eye socket, and arms, "H-hi Sakura-chan…how a-are you doing?"

She smiled even wider (AHHH, I'M GOING TO DIE FROM THE PRESSURE! I redirected all my mental concentration towards assisting my bladder in its urine-retention abilities) and said, "Don't force yourself, Rin-kun! Kaede-chan told me all about how you went drinking last night and have a huge hangover! Don't worry about it!"

I didn't really know what to say to that, but I nodded and tried to smile even though my eye was watering with tears of sadness, nervousness, happiness, and pain from my stab wounds. It was really just not good for me to be in her presence. I was pretty sure my bodily functions were going to shut down one after another fairly soon.

'Have to get away, have to get away,' I thought to myself, rapidly thinking of an exit plan. However, nothing was forthcoming that wouldn't seem horribly rude to the beautiful, angelic WOMAN before me. I decided, instead, to think of Sia as a strength-inducer so I could survive this (hopefully brief) meeting.

"So, how are you doing, Rin-kun?" Sakura asked. Why the HELL is she targeting me? I don't want to talk to her, I'm scared! If only I was wearing a mask…that could potentially deflect my anxiety long enough for me to have my wits about me.

Oh yeah, answering.

"Um…I'm doing pretty good," I whimpered in a voice that sounded ludicrously far from 'pretty good.' "Wh-wh…" God. "What's be…um…what brings you to our neck of the woods?" YES! An almost-complete sentence! Sia, I demand a cookie!

"Oh, I just hadn't heard from you two in FOREVER!" Sakura sang. "I've thought about you so much! And I disagree, Kaede-chan, I think Rin-kun looks really cute these days!"

If my face hadn't looked like death before, it surely did now. She thinks I'm cute? I'M cute?!? How am I supposed to live up to that impossible task? At least she disagreed with Kaede though, on the other hand. That meant she was still a free agent, despite Kaede's obvious insertion of her forked tongue into Sakura's ear already.

"Well, at least that means someone does!" Kaede giggled in a voice so false and grating that it made me grind my teeth.

"Oh Kaede-chan, that's mean! You shouldn't insult someone with a hangover!" Thanks for the support, Sakura…even though I've never taken a sip of alcohol in my life…although that actually sounds like a potentially helpful idea in the future…

"Anyway, Sakura-chan and I were just discussing Pocky, and how she just barely missed seeing him again," Kaede informed me. I should explain: Pocky was Kaede and I's puppy…Kaede ripped all of its skin off when we were 11 and hung its bleeding corpse from my ceiling fan with fishing line. Sakura missed it by JUST a little bit.

"I was so sad to hear about him passing away," Sakura murmured, pulling out her wallet and showing a photograph in it to us. "Look, I've had his picture with me this entire time! He could always cheer me up when I was homesick for you guys." She flipped it once more, and I was astonished to see a picture of me as a kid, preserved in one of her photo sleeves. "I had you too, Rin-kun!" Sakura winked at me, and I felt a chill of dread as she did so. "Although I actually think I like the way you look now more than how you looked when I lived here!"

Ah, scary!

"I can't stop looking at you…you're so mature-looking, it's addictive!" Sakura lowered her head, gently examining my face with her serene eyes.

I turned my head. "P-please don't!" Both girls went into a fit of giggles for some reason.

"So, you've been going to an all-girls' school, right, Sakura-chan?" Kaede queried.

All girls for that many years, huh…the thought gave me the shivers (not that I didn't have them already). A thought occurred to me; girls love romance, right? And when there's no guys around to receive said romance… I gasped inwardly. Perhaps Sakura was a lesbian now! I'm saved!

She chuckled and ran a hand through her elegant navy blue hair, a sight that took my breath away with its ridiculous beauty. "Yes…it's been nice, but living with all girls can be a pain!"

"I bet," I interjected with a laugh, completely by accident. Looking over, I saw Kaede give me a slight warning look. I shrugged.

"You have no idea how bad it can get, trust me!" Sakura said, smiling more brilliantly than diamonds. "They can get so caught up in pointless bickering over the smallest, most insignificant things!"

Kaede gave a little cough. "So, how long will your stay in town be? I mean, we don't want to force you to leave, but we WERE going to go to school!"

Sakura made a sweeping gesture with her fair hands. "I have no idea! I'm just seeing where the winds of life blow me. I got a free room at an apartment complex from one of my old friends, so I guess we'll just see what happens!" She looked at me and started pulling on her hair, seemingly nervously. I wonder what a girl who looked more beautiful than the stars of the night sky could be anxious about, though? "But, ah…if you need to go to school, that's fine, we can get together later."

"I'm so sorry about that!" Kaede said with a slight 'begging-for-forgiveness' vibe to her voice as she got up and bowed. "You've just caught us at a bad time."

Sakura continued to silently sneak furtive peeks at me. I wondered…it seemed like she was waiting for me to say or do something. Hmmmmmm…context clues seemed to suggest that she was upset that we, no, that I was going to school…and she wants me to say or do something about that, so…I guess…I'll say…

"SO!" I said so loudly that all three of us jumped in surprise. "Sakura-chan!"

"Y-yes, Rin-kun?" she gasped, her innocent smile having vividly, fear-inducingly returned.

"Um, I was wondering…if you'd like…to…" Damn, I know I'm on the right track, judging from her apt, eager attention. I just have no idea what to say. "Ah…GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING?" I gave up and just blurted that out.

"YES!" Sakura exclaimed. She reached across the table and clasped my hand, which gave me a sensation akin to laying it on a lit stove top. "I'm not sure what that something will be, but we can make sure that it is the most amazing something that there ever was!"

I couldn't help but smile, despite the exponentially-growing pain in my hand. She seemed like a really cool person, despite being abnormally good-looking.

"Well, see you later, Kaede-chan! I'm afraid I'll have to take your Rin-kun away for the day!" Sakura got up and began pulling me towards the door. I noticed that her pheromones began going haywire with activity…apparently she wasn't lying when she said that she thought I was attractive. And it would seem that she wasn't a lesbian either, unfortunately.

"Wait, I'll come with you!" Kaede said, giddily.

Sakura gave an adorable limp-wristed motion. "Oh, nawww…you have school to go to!" Her slight fingers tightened on my shoulder in accordance with a second rise in her pheromones, and I began to feel slightly antsy.

"B-but," Kaede whined, her eyes watering. "Rin-kun has to go to school too!" A valid point, my demon housemate.

Sakura seemed to reflect on this statement for a bit, before giving Kaede a blank look, waving, announcing "Well…I'll be seeing ya!" and proceeding to drag me out the door behind her.

For better or for worse…it seemed I was in my horny childhood friend's possession at the moment.


Breathlessly, the gorgeous Sakura whirled to me at the gate and asked, "Which way is the school?"

I pointed to the right in slow motion. "Um, National Verbena Academy is…"

"We'll go this way then!" she interrupted, taking my arm hostage and guiding me in the opposite direction. We passed Sia's house and I momentarily got my hopes up that she would come out the door and rescue me…but then I realized that school had already started a good hour ago, so she wouldn't be home still. I hoped she wouldn't be upset that I missed her introduction to the class today…

Once we arrived at the nearest corner, Sakura took me down it so that we were no longer viewable from the Fuyou household. Walking behind her treated me to a constant stream of her potent pheromones, but I hadn't realized their full strength until she stopped and faced me, her scent filling up the alleyway air.

My heart was pounding like the wheels of an express train. The girl more beautiful than any person should be was inches away from my face...I was so beyond screwed. Her expressive, deep green eyes flooded hysterical panic into my mind, yet I couldn't look away from their intense glow.

"Rin-kun…I need to hold you…you don't mind, do you?" Sakura asked me in a deep voice thick with attraction. Well, at least she was polite about it.

"No, I don't mind…" I said softer than a mouse's death scream, and before I knew it her body was flush with mine. A fire pillar of concentrated pain shook me from the waist up, but I clenched my teeth and bore it for as long as I could, just to be nice. I sort of wanted to hug her, but I really wanted to keep any touching to an absolute minimum.

She put her lips to my ear and whispered while thrusting her hips into mine, "I'm here for YOU, Rin-kun…I'll always be here as long as you need me…" Her arms squeezed me even tighter, and I let out a gasp of pain.

Finally, she pulled away and beamed up at me. I just peered back at her in exhaustion. Strangely, her pheromones had diminished to a large degree…that hug must have tided them over for the moment.

"So, uh…wh-where do you want to go, Rin-kun?" Sakura asked, suddenly unsteadily. She must have been acting mostly on sex drive before.

"Well…" I thought about it, reflecting on my knowledge of the area. "If we continue down this way, there's a park that's pretty nice…"

"A PARK?!?" she exploded. Mood swings much? "That would be great! Is it the same park we went to all the time as kids?"

"Y-"

"Let's go!" Bliss seemingly restored, my flawless childhood friend whisked me off down the rest of the alleyway.

Pain from her touch and my stab wounds aside, I was beginning to feel all kinds of nervous. First, I was skipping school, and thus unintentionally avoiding Sia…Kaede was probably getting more angry by the minute…and Sakura here seemed to have some sort of deep-set physical attraction towards me. All in all, not one of my best days.

We made it to the park rather quickly, thanks to Sakura's enthusiasm.

She changed personalities again; currently, she appeared unable to maintain eye contact with me and began stamping in place as her pheromones seeped out into the surrounding air. "U-um-ah-I…" she stammered.

"Yes?" I asked her gently.

"W-w-w…um…do…ah…would you like to…um…" She sighed and hissed in frustration. Apparently her brain broke sometime in the last two minutes. I felt a little kinship with her…it seemed her nerves got the best of her at times, too.

"Hey, do you remember that tree?" Sakura abruptly pointed up at the nearest tree.

"Yep, it's a good one."

"Th-that's the one we used to climb all the time! Let's go!"

"What, climb it?!"

"Y-yes, if that's okay with you…"

"I…" I sighed. "Okay, let's do it."

"Okay!" My blushing escort guided me up to the base of the tree. She looked at me a little bashfully and said, "Um, do you mind giving me a boost?"

"Sure, I don't…" I looked down and saw why she was blushing at the moment; she was wearing a mini-skirt. "Um, it's okay, I got it," I continued, despite my rickety diaphragm. I got on the ground and made a stepping stool with my hands to assist her up, very careful to not look up at her while she was climbing...despite her flawless, perfect, milky white legs that seemed to demand my eyes' ascension.

That accomplished, I leaped up, latched onto a branch, and swung up next to her…where we sat in awkward silence, although my heart was trying its hardest to beat through its ribcage prison.

"Rin-kun…" she spoke, looking down at the grass below. "I-I can say your name out loud to you now, and you can hear me say it…" She looked at me with tearful eyes. "I never thought I'd have a chance to, again. I've missed you so much! It's like I'm dreaming!"

"You can say my name as much as you want, Sakura-chan," I tried to reassure her, "and, um, it's good to have you back."

"I…" She seemed to be really keen on saying something, but I wasn't sure where she was going. I did, however, notice that her pheromones were skyrocketing. "There's so much I had wanted to say to you, Rin-kun, for all those years…" Sakura began smashing her fingers together awkwardly. "I…you…um…you're the only person I've thought about, the entire time I've been at school. Everything I did, I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to hear your cynical voice commenting on every thing I saw..."

"Sakura-chan, don't…"

"I don't know why, Rin-kun, but I just couldn't get you out of my head, no matter who I met. Nothing I ever did seemed to really matter, because you weren't there to experience it with me." Her voice began shaking nervously again. "I really didn't mean to, but…over the years, my feelings turned from feelings of friendship for you into…"

"Love?" I put in, hoping to quell the coming storm.

"Well yes, and then…something else," Sakura continued, blushing and tightly crossing her legs as her pheromones went directly into outer space. "B-but it's really all I need, just to be here with you."

Whew, that was a close one. She turned her emerald eyes to me; her face was so exquisitely crafted that I almost felt like crying. "By the way, I was wondering…"

"What's up?"

"Are those…slash marks…on your face?"

Well, I guess the make-up didn't work. "Yeah…I-I get into fights sometimes."

"Really?!" Sakura cried like it was the worst possible thing that could have ever happened to her. The scent wafting up from her legs intensified even more...she must have been more than a little wet by this point. The threat of sex was direly imminent…ironic that my childhood friend was probably going to rape me the first day I'm reunited with her. "And your eye…I've noticed that it looks a little…" she squinted at me very closely. I could feel the volcanic warmth emanating from her body as it hovered just centimeters apart from mine, a feeling that fascinated me a little but terrified me much more.

"Well, it's fake, if that's what you mean," I said with a nervous smile, popping my eye out into the palm of my hand to try and cut off some of her libido. No such luck however, despite her face growing quite horrified, she was getting still more stinky. I suddenly realized why my tactics weren't working; she must have had some sort of protection instinct, and wanted to care for me…which somehow translated into wanting sex…which was bad.

"You can't do that, Rin-kun," she breathed, rocking back and forth in place and squeezing her thighs together even more tightly. "You need to be more careful…I…can't…stand it…the thought of you getting hurt…rips me apart…" All her visible flesh was flaming red with inner heat, and her lips breathed erratically on my cheek.

It was definitely time for me to end our little rendezvous, but I decided to take steps to end it more cleanly than I had with Asa a few nights ago. "Well, I guess we're done here!" I announced abruptly, and slipped off the tree.

I looked up at my old friend, and she seemed about to erupt into tears. "Rin-kun! Where are you going?"

I sighed for the umpteenth time and held out my arms. "I think it's time we head back; I'll catch you, alright?"

"Oh, okay," she sniffed, paused, and then leaped out of the tree into my arms, which had roughly the same effect as an elephant pressing a spear through my bones. And yes, she was definitely wet, if the sogginess of her butt was any indication. "Rin-kun…" she mouthed my name very slowly, sacredly even, as she looked with incredible depth into my eyes.

I realized I was carrying her bridal-style, and my arms felt like they were dissolving from acid, so I quickly dumped her on the ground. "So, um…I guess…I'll be seeing you later?" I began, hopefully, eager to avoid any further unnecessary contact with the perfect-looking goddess lying on the ground in front of me.

"I-I'm so sorry, Rin-kun…I made you feel uncomfortable…" Sakura murmured, almost too soft to hear. She was looking at me almost fearfully now.

"What do you mean?" I asked, legitimately confused.

"I was being too forward…I was betraying our friendship. I'm sorry…that's why you left so abruptly, right? You don't feel that way about me, right? I didn't mean to…I'M SO SORRY!"

"Well, I…" I didn't really know what to say. I could hardly give the whole history of Kaede and I and discuss its psychological and physical repercussions on my well-being.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please don't be upset, I'm so sorry," she said, clutching her arms in clear distress. "I didn't mean to, um…invade your personal space…"

I smiled gently, really wanting to hold her and comfort her, but way too scared to do so. "Look, Sakura-chan, nothing happened! No harm, no foul, right? Come on, let's go home!"

The two of us walked in silence through the bright spring air, despite the incessant bustling of the city that surrounded us. "So…Rin-kun…" Sakura began, her voice still shaky-sounding.

"What's up?"

"I…was wondering…and please don't take it the wrong way…but, I was wondering if, um…if…"

I continued to wait patiently, smiling softly at her, being one often haunted by inarticulacy on numerous occasions.

"Would you like to live with me?" Sakura suddenly shrieked. Several people turned and stared, so she meekly retreated into me, causing me to jolt away in alarm from the contact.

"Well, um…" I said, running my hand through my hair.

"It's been my dream, for a LONG time…to live with you…" Sakura pleaded, tugging on my shirt sleeve. "I just want to know, I've always wanted to know, what it's like to live in the same place with you…to feel your presence shining on me constantly…please…just please, think about it…"

I smiled and laughed in relief. An exit! Thank you, Sakura-chan! "Okay, I promise to consider it," I assured her, not meaning a word.

"Great," she whispered. After a while, I noticed that she wasn't keeping pace with me, so I turned and looked to see why she had stopped.

"What's up, Sakura-chan! Is this where you get off?" I asked playfully.

I was more than a little alarmed to see her look up with a darkly serious look in her eyes. It was slightly different from Kaede's darkly serious looks, though. "Rin-kun...is everything actually alright?"

The sun couldn't have chosen a more inopportune time to go behind some thunderclouds. "Well yeah, what do you mean?"

"…Kaede-chan…is acting weird."

"Well, she's a unique person," I laughed.

"I don't think she's the same person I used to know," Sakura said, almost spitting the sentence with anger. Where was all THIS coming from?

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied. "Just don't worry about it."

"I wish you wouldn't lie to me, Rin-kun, I'm only concerned for you, after all," Sakura smiled, her teeth glinting in the darkness. "What's the matter?"

"Sakura-chan, are you alright?"

"…what really happened with Pocky, Rin-kun?"

"Wh-what?" I hissed, the image of my puppy's skinless corpse returning unbidden to my mind.

"What. Happened. To. Pocky. Rin-kun?"

"U-um…" I took a deep breath. What was I supposed to say? "He died of natural causes."

"Kaede-chan said he got hit by a truck," Sakura grinned, firing each word out like a bullet. "Which one is it? Or is it…neither?"

"Um…th-that's what I meant by natural causes," I said feebly.

"Well, when you're ready to tell me, I'll be here for you, Rin-kun," Sakura said, looking at me intensely. "I am worried about you, though…I want to stay with you…"

"Sakura-chan…"

"To protect you…"

"Don't bother, I'll be fine," I lied for like the fifth time in a row. I turned my back to her. "See you later, Sakura-chan! Don't hesitate to come over whenever you want!"

"Be safe, Rin-kun," she shouted at me with a cracked voice, as I walked away.


I'm an idiot. Why couldn't I just tell Sakura? She was practically laying out all the evidence on the table in front of me, ready to take my side, and yet I still wouldn't admit anything? How much longer can I keep all this up? Sure, it's all for Kaede, but…I deserve to have a life too, don't I? Maybe I don't, but…I can only willingly submit to her boundless rage for so long…her self-control obviously has its limits.

I swung open the front door to the pitch-black Fuyou household and strode inside, exhaling out of stress as I did so.

Without any warning, I felt a familiar clang of metal bash the back of my skull in. Everything went black for a time, until I felt someone's clammy hands reach down my underwear and clench my balls.

"OWUOURK!!" I roared out of desperate pain as I woke up to see Kaede leaning in front of me, looking a little angry about something. "Kaede-chan?" I said softly as I looked down to her arm…which was still plunged straight down my pants.

"Rin-kun…what is your problem?" she muttered, glaring. I shrugged, but really wanted her to not have her fingernails stabbing repeatedly into my testicles anymore.

"I'm sure I have many, just please…PLEASE stop, Kaede-chan!" I begged. It hurt SO bad.

I was surprised when she did retract her fingernails from my scrotum and pull her arm out. Looking around, I realized that I was tied with a padlocked chain to a chair, my hands bound, as usual.

"Thank you, Kaede-chan," I bowed my head deeply before her. "Now, please tell me what it is that has you upset so that I can avoid doing it in the future."

"What has made me upset?" she asked quietly, licking her bloodied fingernails.

"Yes…I live only to please you, you know…"

"What has made me upset?" she said in her deep man-voice that sounded suspiciously like the Devil's. "You are ruining my reputation with your constant SHIT!"

I was really lost here, remembering fairly accurately a conversation with Sakura in which I purposefully dodged an opportunity to soil Kaede's precious reputation.

"Two girls. You're engaged to TWO GIRLS? What the fuck does that make me? Your fucking pet?" Kaede screamed, the blues of her eyes magnifying inhumanly in circumference.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I shouted incredulously. "Two girls?!? It's the first I've heard of it!"

Kaede plopped down on my lap (ack, PAIN!) and scooted towards me so that we were nose to nose. All I could see were her horrific eyes. "Let me say it nice and slowly for you so that your mental retardation doesn't get in the way, douche bag."

"Alright, fair enough."

"Don't interrupt me, you lizard testicle! Two girls came into class today. They were the princesses of the god and the demon world, respectively." Whoa, really? So the princess of demons was in our class along with Sia? "They were under the impression that you would marry one of them, and their fathers were in full support." Say WHAT? Why would this other princess want to marry me, too? What the hell's going on? "Both were very disappointed that you were absent, though, you little slut. So, you are fucking, then, both of these girls, and now Sakura as well?!"

"No! I'm not! I don't know why you would think that!"

"Fuck you, Rin-kun! FUCK you!"

"Look, I still don't really understand what you're upset about; even if I WAS having sex with these girls, which I'm not, I'm still a virgin you know, I don't understand what it has to do with you."

"Don't mock me, fuckhole," she snarled. Her veins were throbbing visibly; I had NEVER seen her this mad. "You're making me a liar with your actions! Do you know how much work I've done to ruin your reputation? Now, with THIS happening, everyone I know is looking at me like I'm crazy."

Well, it was ironic that she said that, since no white was visible at all in her transmuted, pulsating eyes of a serial murderer.

"You're throwing all of the work that I've done BACK in my face!" she screeched, and clenched her plump calves around my hips. "How dare you do this to me, you shit!"

"Ah, I think I understand," I said, nodding, trying not to show any discomfort. "Like I said, I'm here to make you happy! Do you want me to dump them, then? I will, if it will please you!"

Kaede looked taken aback; did something I say FINALLY make an impact to her? "R-really, Rin-kun? Do you really mean it?"

I nodded vehemently. "Yes! PLEASE trust me; I'd do anything for you!"

"Y-you would?"

"YES!"

"Really, really?"

"OF COURSE!!!" I shouted.

SLAP! She backhanded me hard, across the face. "You little lying cunt!" she hissed, and then picked up a pocket knife from the ground, flicking it open. "Do you know what this is?" she rumbled in a voice that stretched the realm of sanity.

"That would be a pocket knife," I pointed out.

"That would be a pocket knife!" she sang in a mocking tone. "Lose the sarcasm, princess, or you're gonna lose something else." With a graceful swoop, she plunged the knife directly towards my remaining good eye, stopping just in front of it. I froze, too scared to move, to even blink, to even BREATHE. "Rin-kun...you know how I liked it when your eyeball went…POP!...don't you? I really, REALLY enjoyed that."

"Yes, Kaede-chan, I know you liked it," I said emotionlessly, staring straight ahead at the gigantic blade that could pop me open at the slightest vibration.

She deftly maneuvered the blade beneath my eyeball, cutting through my lower eyelid so that the organ was lying on top of the knife. Her hand left its hilt, and so the pocket knife remained stuck directly underneath my eyeball.

"Don't blink, you ugly tramp…or I daresay the fucking thing will…POP! Isn't this exciting!" she cackled, bouncing her large ass on my legs, which sent shockwaves of pain up to my crotch with each impact. I grit my teeth and concentrated all my willpower on not blinking. My eye was already drying out…I didn't know how much longer I could keep my eye still.

I was going to go blind…Sia would never accept me as a husband if I lost my other eye!

"Let's see how those skanks like you when you have two empty eye sockets, dribbling blood," Kaede muttered in her deep, rumbling voice. "Then no one, not even our airhead slut of a friend, Sakura-chan, will find you even remotely attractive."

I could tell from Kaede's blood-tainted breath and floral perfume that she was still right in front of me. I lost track of how long I'd been sitting there, staring straight ahead.

"Aw, still no pop! I'm disappointed! You're pretty good at being braindead, Rin-kun."

"Thank you," I mouthed.

"But you know, Rin-kun, you did piss all over me this morning…don't you think it's time I returned the favor?"

"Yes," I mouthed silently, pulling willpower from secret pools of energy in my body I didn't know I had.

"Great! Then if you don't mind…" I felt her get off my legs and step around behind my chair. Before long, I felt her calves tighten around both of my ears. She was sitting naked ON TOP of my HEAD! I didn't know if I could stand it any longer. I took a deep breath and continued desperately, angrily concentrating, although now I had to worry about balance as well. I was so screwed. Sia-chan…I'm sorry.

NO! I can't give up now! I have a future suddenly! I can get married! I can't let her down, no matter what! Images of her celestial face flooded my mind's eye, and I focused on them intently.

Kaede made a big show of moaning huskily as she urinated in my hair. I leaned back slightly to encourage the warm, stinky liquid to run away from my eyeball.

After about twenty seconds of her ridiculous posturing, including a few exaggerated squeezes of her calves to the sides of my head, she cried out loud, and then said, "Well, Rin-kun…you may be useless in EVERYTHING, but at least you make a good toilet."

She leapt off and I could feel her breathe in my face. "Ah…still no…POP? Come on…do it for me…all you have to do is blink! So…BLINK!" she yelled, attempting to get me to flinch. Unfortunately for her , I kept staring adamantly ahead. "You know, you lying little bastard…you said you would do ANYTHING for me, right?

"Right," I mouthed.

"Okay, well this is my favor I want from you, Rin-kun…blink. Blink. You know you want to! Blink! Blink your fucking eye closed!" she giggled. "Never to open again."

'Sia-chan, save me,' I prayed silently, focusing on the princess's visage in desperation. 'I'm doing this for you, so…give me the power to do it!"

"Rin-kun…you traitor…I turned on the oven a while ago. I didn't want to have to resort to this, but…you leave me no choice," she fumbled with the padlock, released it with a snap, and led me, my desert-dry eye, and the knife lodged in it to the oven, where she kicked it open, forced me down with violent strength, and shoved my head inside, maintaining her arms around my stomach.

"Please enjoy the 230 degrees Celsius temperature, Rin-kun!" she sang as the heat lashed out at my face. Despite the pain and the molten, palpable damage it was doing to my skin, the blade somehow began sliding out of my eye socket. I tilted my head downwards to ensure that it didn't pop me on the way out. With unbearable slowness, it slid…slid some more…inched a little farther…

"God damn, just get out…" I hissed.

"What was that, Rin-kun?" Kaede asked in an adorable voice.

CLANG! It dropped out, dancing on the oven floor as it did so. My eye was whole still…it was a miracle!

"What was THAT, Rin-kun?" Kaede snarled, her fingernails digging into my skin.

I got up and threw her arms off me. "That was the knife, Kaede-chan." My eye was way too dry to see anything, but as I blinked, I began edging backwards out of fear of her thumbing it out herself.

"Amazing…it didn't work?" she murmured.

"I guess not," I said brightly. "You win some, you lose some, I guess!"

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Rin-kun…SO! If you have time…could you go to the market and buy some groceries?"

"Um…what?" I said, still blinking rapidly. I heard her footsteps approach ominously, and I shouted in response, "I'll go, I'll go, don't worry!"

That said, I scrambled and felt my way out of the house, to safety! I still had an eyeball, even, albeit a dry one.

Except…sight was still not one of my talents at the moment.


A/N: And that's a wrap! Feel free to leave reviews, especially on what you thought worked/didn't work/made you happy/made you want to vomit. Those are the best. I deeply appreciate all my readers, even the silent ones! :)

Alright! Stay tuned for more madness!

KoshKing777