Still don't own anything, (They were out of Mockingjay pins when I went to get one)
This chapter contains a lemon between our two lovely protagonists. Please read and review and enjoy their exploration before real life knocks on their door next chapter. :D
My hands shot up, "I'm sorry I scared you, please put the knife away," his eyes immediately softened and he threw the blade, imbedding it into a tree trunk.
"Katniss," he breathed wrapping me in a tight hug, his body smelled of dirt and sweat, "I'm so sorry," he began stammering, apologizing for hurting me.
"It's ok, you weren't yourself," I assured before he stepped back and cleared his throat, the warmth in his eyes was still there, only it was hidden behind apprehension towards me. I knew this wasn't from the tracker jacker venom, he didn't know whether or not to open himself up to me yet. So we're going to be like this now. After everything we went through we're going to act like acquaintances. I remembered the safe feeling I had in his arms while I was "checked out" which was only repeated by the sweaty hug we just shared.
"Can I see what you're drawing?" I asked breaking the awkward silence between us.
He looked shocked for a second, "What? Oh, no, it's a surprise," he smiled sweetly which only made me suspicious, "Do you… want to go for a walk?" I looked up at the hot sky, the heat threatened to choke me, unless it was just my nerves. He went and closed his sketch book hiding whatever he was working on.
We followed the stream for about a half mile before my shirt clung to every inch of my torso. I had lost my boots and rolled up my pants before we set out but still the cool water between my toe's wasn't enough, "I need a break," I said, panting, my body was so frail and out of shape. I began wading deeper into the water finding a deep pool that went up to my chest. I sighed blissfully eyeing Peeta. I knew what was bothering him, or at least I think I knew.
"You don't have to take your clothes off," I told him grinning as I leaned back and wet my hair, I noticed my bandaged wrist was soaked, oh well, "Well… your pants." He smiled faintly. I wondered why he was being so quiet.
"Listen, I'm sorry about the shower, I should have been paying attention, we don't need to be awkward," I assured taking his hand with my good one.
"It's not that Katniss," he says finally opening his mouth, "How can you trust me? Look what I did to you?" he gingerly picks up my dripping wet bandaged hand and sighs, "I made this worse!" his voice was an angry huff, "I could have done a lot worse if it wasn't for-" he was just going to beat on himself driving the wedge even more between us. I put my bandaged hand behind his head, got on my toes and kissed him before he could say anymore. At first he stood there shocked but soon his hands found my backside, giving me some much needed, but awkward support. I didn't let that feeling sink because soon that familiar warmth began spreading through my body.
Safe…
But was that it? Was that the feeling I was getting? No, this is what I felt on the beach, the hunger and the desire. I knew I wanted more, but was it mine for the taking?
I felt a light squeeze on my backside, though I'm not sure whether it was just Peeta balancing himself or not it caused a moan to escape from deep within my throat, "Katniss.. No," he whispered against my lips, I pulled away confused, "You don't want this… At least not this way," I felt my smile fade but reassuringly Peeta's hands were on my shoulder and his lips on my forehead, "If this is something you want, I'll give it to you, but not like this, and not now." I huffed and dramatically let myself fall into the water it was probably for the best as the water cooled the fire in my heart, and other regions.
I felt a calloused hand take mine and pull me from the water, "Better?" he asked. Childishly I stuck out my tongue, and we moved to sit on the river bank in silence for what seemed like an eternity, "I don't like this…" I sighed dragging my fingers through the tiny pebbles that we were sitting in.
"Sitting here with me?" he asked, a little hurt.
"Oh, no, this distance between us," I picked up a smooth flat rock and skipped it down the creek, "After everything we've been through… Now we're strangers,"
"Well, I did want to kill you for a while there, then you were under house arrest in the Capitol… Then back here again, though the second one was all you," he nudged me a little with his shoulder. I pulled my legs to my chest and rested my head on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry…" I sighed, but when his hand found my waist and pulled me closer I knew it didn't matter.
Our moment of peace was interrupted by a distant growl which got us off the ground faster than if we were still in the arena, "There!" Peeta points to a wild dog crouched and ready to pounce. I was positioned to shoot the dog, but when I pulled the string of my bow back it felt like someone was pulling the bones in my hand apart… again.
"You aim," I felt Peeta's chest against my back as his hand pulled back the string.
I nodded and with one last adjustment, "Ready!" I called now that the dog had chosen to sit still for a moment. The arrow flew from the bow and sunk deep into the dog's chest. One second of hesitation, that's all it takes.
"Still make a good team," I say moving to the dog, its chest had stopped heaving and was no longer a threat, though from years of hunting I knew where there was one wild dog there was so I had to work fast, "Can I get your knife?" I asked before the large blade was placed in my hand. It wouldn't be one I chose, but Peeta didn't bring this out here to protect himself from a dead dog, or perhaps any animal.
I worked quickly separating the guts from the meat and the meat from the flesh, "Can you hand me my game bag?"
"You didn't bring it," I sighed, perfect. I lifted my damp shirt over my head, using the bloody knife to cut up the seam. Peeta questioned what I was doing, but I assumed got distracted by my, as the Capitol women called 'sports bra' it was more comfortable than the ones I wore when I was paraded around in priceless gowns for the Capitol's enjoyment. I've seen women wear less in public so I was fine.
"You can't walk back to town dressed like that, or not dressed," I tied up the meat in my makeshift game bag and slung it over my shoulder with my quiver and bow.
"By the time we get back to town it's going to be dark, no one's going to see." I smiled and kissed his cheek, "Besides, no one cares anymore if a merchant's son is seen with the seam brat, even if she is missing a shirt," Peeta just sighed and threw his arm around my shoulders, and for the first time since I volunteered to take Prim's place at the 74th Hunger Games I felt like I could breathe. There was no anxiety, there was no fear. I was safe, and I was on my way to being happy. The sun was almost set by the time we reached the gate of District 12, though the Peacekeepers gave us strange looks they opened the heavy gate and let us back in. Greasy Sae's home was only a short walk from the entrance and luckily her lights were on.
"What is it?" she asked untying the parcel.
"What's it matter? Once it's in the soup you'll call it beef," she flashed me a toothy grin and offered a small payment, which I refused.
"At least take a shirt," she offered something that was two or three sizes too big for me and full of holes, but I only needed it to get me back home, "I'm so glad you two are back together," Peeta and I exchange confused looks then together stammer out: "We're not together".
Our walk back to my house was quiet and awkward at best though we remained hand in hand and as we reached my door he released my hand, "I'll see you later Katniss," I stiffened, wondering if he could sense it. Could I really go back in there? To the restlessness, anxiety, and nightmares?
No…
I took his hand again, "Please don't leave me," I bit my lip nervously, his blue eyes were filled with curiosity, "Today was the first time I can remember not feeling… scared, or anxious, or-" Peeta placed a finger on my lips to stop my stammering.
"I need a shower, but I'll come back, I promise," he kissed my forehead lightly before leaving for his house. I watched him walk, finally noticing the slight limp in his step. I closed the door to my house quietly leaving it unlocked for Peeta, if he chose to come back.
A bright red blinking elicited a groan from the depths of my heart. I wanted to rip my phone out of the wall, but this would violate one of the conditions of my sentence probably. Three new messages…
"Hello! This message is for Miss Katniss Everdeen from the desk of President Paylor," the overly chipper Capitol accent started. I guessed that this was Paylor's secretary or assistant or whatever president's need. "She requests that you discontinue ignoring her calls," I deleted the message. If I continued ignoring Paylor could hold off going back to the capitol.
"Miss Everdeen, this is President Paylor-" Delete. The last one was from my mother asking me if I was well, though she'd find a way to find out through Haymitch or Peeta, plus it was getting late, no need to disturb her. I made a mental note to call her in the morning.
I stood in the shower, letting the water beat down on my head for a good few minutes, I knew I couldn't hide away in district Twelve for the rest of my life, and if I could Paylor would bring any fanfare to me.
I can never stop being the Mockingjay…
I knew this was true, I was the face of the rebellion…
I stepped out of the shower, unsure whether or not I actually washed myself, showers had become my favorite place to think, no one dared bother me. I squeezed the extra water out of my hair and slowly stripped my wrist of bandages since I soaked them in both creek water and wild dog blood. I tried wiggling my fingers but even that still hurt, not to mention stiff from not being used. Wrapping my bandage was sloppy at best but it kept the splint in place.
When I entered my bedroom Peeta was on my bed, his back to me. I stood there in shock before noticing the way his shirt clung to the muscles in his arms and back. And there it was, that fire I felt in the cave, on the beach, and even today in the creek. I padded over to my dresser and pulled on a tank top and got on my bed behind Peeta. I snaked my arms around his waist, taking in his clean smell. He stiffened at my touch but only for a moment before he began sketching again.
"What's that?" I asked noticing the damaged paper next to his pad.
"It was… it is something Cinna left. After the Capitol fell they went through his apartment but it was ransacked," he leaned his head over so it rested on mine. Our cheeks touched together and a chill went through my body, not the bad kind. It was more like throwing a bucket of water on an inferno, it would quiet the blaze for a moment before the fires raged again, "We can only assume that they were meant for you," I felt him smile as his hand found my other cheek. His calloused thumb gently stroked my face, there was that chill again.
"But why?" I asked eying the sketch it was a short blue dress, similar to the one I wore at the reaping, the day this all began.
"Paylor asked me to take these scraps and restore them as best I could," he shrugged, "Then she wants them on the next train to the Capitol," his hand dropped from my cheek so he could close the pad and toss it off the bed. His hand found my cheek again and we sat like that for what seemed like moments though my feet went numb. Reluctantly I backed away from Peeta and leaned up against the headboard, "You can join me, I don't bite," Peeta looked down at his hand where I saw a small circular scar, "Well.. Once," I leaned over, hooking my arms under his and pulling him too me, "You're so heavy," I groaned as we flopped back, him half on top of me. He rolled onto his stomach, his hand on my ribs I saw a small frown form on his face as he felt how defined my ribs were now. I was relieved when he didn't press the topic and began playing with my damp hair.
We sat there in silence enjoying each other's company before both drifting off to sleep. Peeta and I returned to a comfortable pattern over the next few weeks, it got to the point where I was clearing out half my dresser so he didn't have to go back home every morning to get clothes. He was downstairs making lunch for us, I was folding laundry to be put into boxes and shoved into the attic. Fall was coming and with it long pants and heavy sweaters and coats.
"Well, if it isn't the old married couple!" Haymitch had a tendency to let himself in our… I mean my home without knocking.
"Yeah yeah… What's that?" I heard Peeta ask there was some shuffling and a horrible squawking noise.
"This my friend is Effie Trinket, arrived this morning on the train along with her friends," I began hyperventilating. Effie? Here? No, it couldn't be, I would have at least gotten a warning. I ran for the door, instead of running away I ran to the scene, stopping dead in my tracks when I saw Haymitch holding a rather docile looking bird.
"You named THAT Effie?" I asked barely containing my laughter, "She'll flip her wig when she finds out."
The creature looked at me with a tilt of its head before letting out an ear piercing squawk and struggling out of Haymitch's arms to waddle out the door, "If that thing eats my anything in my garden I'm serving it to you for dinner," he waved me off grumbling as he chased after Effie.
I closed the door with my foot and turned to Peeta, he opened his mouth to say something, only to be interrupted by the ringing phone. I was perfectly fine ignoring it, he was not.
"Hello?" a pause, "Yes of course, she's right here," he put his hand over the part you spoke into, "You can't keep dodging them forever Katniss," he offered the phone which I took, but not before shooting him an angry look.
"Hello?" I was greeted not by the President's secretary but Paylor's own voice.
"Good afternoon Katniss, I hope we weren't interrupting anything, though you've been quite elusive of late."
"Sorry, I've been…" I looked to Peeta who was again working in the kitchen, he shot me a reassuring smile.
I can do this.
"…Busy."
"Right, now down to business, as you know the second anniversary of the Revolution is only a few months away, and seeing as you were… Indisposed last year we were hoping you would find yourself well enough to participate this year," I froze, my hand beginning to shake, but she kept on talking, "I'm sure you've gotten wind of the findings in the late President Coin's trial, which we are all happy to say has exonerated you of all charges," apparently I was guilty at one point in time, just unstable.
"That's… good," I thought for a second if this meant any punishment was heading Gale's way, but shrugged it off, "There's more isn't there?" I asked twisting the cord around my finger nervously.
"Unfortunately yes, Mockingjay," I winced at the title. There was always more, "Though I'm not comfortable speaking this over the phone I-"
"I'm not going back to the Capitol right now," I stammered out in one breath, "I-I can't!" my whole body was shaking with my hand now
"We understand which is why we're coming to you," this didn't calm me at all, "Your prep team will arrive by train no later than noon tomorrow, the rest of us will be in District 12 that evening."
"Prep… team?"
"We were hoping to get an interview while here, show the people the woman that gave them strength to rise up is still with them."
I nodded though she couldn't see, "I-I understand… Goodbye," I slammed the phone down and rested my hands on the table.
In… out… I tried to remind myself attempting to even out my breathing. I felt something in my stomach and let myself fall before the waste basket, retching into it, though could produce nothing.
"Katniss!" Peeta was at my side instantly his hand rubbing my back, my stomach stopped trying to regurgitate food that wasn't there and I pushed myself to the wall, feeling the cool surface against the exposed skin of my arms. Peeta's brow furrowed with concern, "Everything ok?"
"The President's coming here, because of some sensitive information she couldn't share over the phone," he nodded soaking up the information, "But this isn't the best part," I put my hand on his arm, "They're taking this opportunity to interview us, to see how we're doing!" I laughed a little nervously. Paylor was looking for something inspiring, the Star-crossed lovers living happily ever after.
She wasn't looking for the thrashing nightmares and violent flashbacks.
His arms were instantly around me, "You're focusing on the bad," I nodded a little, knowing he was right, "When was the last time you had a nightmare?" not since he started sleeping over, "We'll face this together. Just like we faced our first Hunger Games, the Victory Tour, the second games and eventually the rebellion."
"And the aftermath," I added knowing he was right. Peeta was always right.
He picked me off the ground, stumbling a little. Peeta did his best to distract me throughout the day. We visited Haymitch and "Effie" after lunch then wandered around town. I was amazed how built up it was now. The hospital was almost finished, something we definitely needed, the Hob was converted to a flea market where people sold their produce, baked goods, or other oddities. We ignored the onlookers who pointed at us whispering about the War-hero's, or my favorite, the crazy girl that shot the president.
But none of the bad mattered, the accusatory glances, the whispers that hushed when we got close, the rumors. Our marriage was still very real in the eyes of Panem, though a rumor had spread that we were separated. Which I guess was true, we never went to the Justice Building and signed the appropriate paper work. Maybe we never would, but that didn't matter.
I looked down at my hand in his, our fingers laced together, that was all that mattered.
When we returned home we quickly prepared a meal mostly of the produce we got at the new Hob. Most of our meals now were sans meat considering it had to be shipped in from other districts. Slowly we were getting livestock, very slowly. As I finished my plate Peeta came up behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder. Like a match there was that heat again, though it only took a match to start an inferno. I stood up from my chair and spun around in his arms, my lips clumsily crashing into his as my fingers found his hair tangling in his now shaggy locks, but I didn't have time to care about his need of a haircut as he lifted me onto the table with two secure hands on my rump. After I was safely on the table his hands awkwardly found my shoulders then slid down my arms before snaking their way onto the side of my chest. Peeta was hesitating, and the fire inside me was only growing. We didn't know what we were doing, but one of us had to take lead.
My clumsy fingers found the buttons on his shirt, I felt him stiffen as I undid each and every button and rested my hands on his defined chest walking my fingers up to his shoulders to brush his shirt off. Taking this brief break in our kissing I removed my own shirt, blushing a little at sight of my fading scars. He sensed my discomfort. How could he not?
"You're perfect," he breathes before his lips crash onto mine again. His hands were more adventurous now, reaching behind my back and after a few moments I felt my bra release and surprisingly no urge to cover myself, no urge to move away as Peeta's loving hands massaged my shoulders then finally moving down to my breasts. I felt like this time it was my turn to go on the offensive and my now impatient hands began fumbling with his belt, then the button at the top of his trousers, and finally the zipper. As they fell I reached forward to rub him through his boxers, eliciting a deep groan from him. Though we were both inexperienced everything seemed natural, even the point where I sank from the table to my knees and took him into my mouth. I didn't exactly know what I was doing, but after hearing the gossip in school, and even some in the Capitol I had an idea.
Peeta was braced against the table moaning every few seconds before he pushed me off him. I felt hurt, did I do something wrong?
"Not really worth it to you if I finish right there," he says breathlessly before pulling me back on the table. I still had my pants on, though not for long. His hand separated my legs and rested where my hips met my legs allowing his thumb to stroke me through the thick material of my jeans. Now it was my turn to moan, and moan I did as I leaned back on the table allowing him to torture me, feed my fire.
"P-please," I finally panted feeling as though the heat in my body would threaten to literally turn me into "The Girl on Fire". He grinned and kissed my forehead lovingly.
"You're sure?" he asked letting the tips of his fingers brush up against the hot flesh above my pants, he was still teasing me, and it only made me want him more.
"Yes!" I almost yelled before taking my hands and covering my mouth, I fell back onto the table as he roughly tugged my pants off. He didn't bother unfastening them, my weight had dropped enough the jeans I wore before our second trip to the Hunger Games fell off like loose sweatpants. I had put some of the weight back on, even gained some much needed muscle, but I was still so unhealthy looking, now I was self-conscious, my every scar was showing, my ribs defined like fingers running through fog on a window. The only good thing about the transformation my body took is the Capitol took my needing basically a whole new body of skin as a chance to work their magic and make it so I only grew hair on my head, and I mean ONLY my head.
His lips were on my neck and his hand back down to tease me, though it was on a whole different level now that there was nothing separating us. I whimpered into his mouth as he slipped a finger inside of me, it felt strange at first, foreign but then his rhythmic movements lulled me into a sense of pure bliss. He pulled his hands out and much to my surprise, licked his fingers clean. A blush crept to my face, this felt oddly more personal than having his fingers only inside me. He put his hands beside me and kissed me once more. I could taste myself on his tongue as it slipped past my lips, could he do the same? He pulled away and locked eyes with me before pulling me to the very edge of the table.
"Are you sure?" he asked for the umpteenth time. At this point the fire inside me threatened to consume every inch of me. And it was then at that moment I knew only Peeta could tame it. I nodded and as I felt him enter me I knew I never wanted him to extinguish it, like a cozy fireplace I wanted it to smolder forever building up only when we see fit.
Peeta held me close as he entered me and kissed away my tears in the first few minutes as my body adjusted to him inside me. We sat there bodies wrapped around one another, his arms around my upper half, my legs around his hips for a few moments before slowly he began moving in and out. My moans became louder and louder as his thrusts became harder and faster. I watched his eyes travel to the open window across the kitchen, though the blinds were closed so no one could see in it and most of the window's in my house were still open, which meant anyone outside was probably able to hear us.
His solution at first was to cover my mouth with his hand as he sucked and nibbled on my neck, when my pants and moans were escaping through the cracks in his fingers he put his mouth on mine. I wasn't going to complain though. Our awkwardness at the beginning was a thing of the past as both of our bodies melted together. My nails dug into his back as I tried to keep myself from letting all of District 12 know just how amazing I felt.
Peeta's movements soon became fiercer, his thrusts going deeper and deeper until he finally let out one last moan and let his sweaty body collapse onto mine, once again kissing my neck. We panted together until he slowly backed out of me, "Did you…" his voice trailed off as he used his shirt to wipe himself off. It took me a few seconds to realize what he meant. I had only experienced an orgasm once in my life, and that was due to my own experimentation. I thought I knew what to expect.
Peeta's hand began rubbing me again, slowly but surely he got me panting and writhing on the table once more then his hand disappeared only to be replaced by his mouth. It didn't take him long to get me off and as I let out a unmuffled moan as my back arched off the table. He kept at it, nibbling, licking and sucking until I pulled his face from between my legs, I couldn't take it anymore. He lifted me from the table, ignoring our pile of clothes, the dishes, and the lights as he carried me upstairs. As soon as we hit the bed our lips were on each other's, our hands roaming every inch of the bodies we had just given to each other. The fire that once consumed my body had been abated, for now, and all that mattered was his lips on mine, the feeling of his hot skin pressed so closely to mine. It shocked me when he pulled his face from mine and his blue eyes focused on my grey ones.
"You love me, real or not real?" I paused for a second, love… Was that what I felt for Peeta? Love? My heart knew the answer and I smiled before telling him, "Real."
