Chapter 3 - Nightmares
Kaidan sat in the medical bay, feeling defeated, as he watched Doctor Chakwas performs scans on Commander Shepard. The coffee that Ashley brought to him was getting cold. This was your fault, Kaidan. You should have been more careful.
"No fractures, no internal trauma," the doctor was speaking into her omni-tool, preparing a report on the incident. "Minor cut on the forehead, but medi-gel has already healed that nicely. Shouldn't leave a scar."
The last hour seemed to be nothing but a blur. Kaidan remembered barking orders at Ashley at the spaceport and carrying the Commander to the Normandy. He remembered taking a ground team to recover Jenkins and Nihlus, then returning to the Normandy and standing in the shower for what seemed like hours. He even managed to convince Captain Anderson that his medic and tech training might be useful to Doctor Chakwas. Not that he was actually doing anything to help her.
"How are you holding up, Lieutenant? I know you and Jenkins were friends."
Kaidan sighed. He was all too familiar with losing friends, but it wasn't usually so… permanent. "I've never lost anyone under my command," he replied, "not to hostile combat anyway. But, I'm a Marine; it comes with the territory."
Doctor Chakwas nodded, then smiled a sad smile. "Do you remember that time when Jenkins asked you to show him your biotic skills? He got so excited when he found out you were a Sentinel."
Kaidan smiled at the memory. Jenkins was a nice kid. He couldn't have been more than twenty-five years old, and still had the enthusiasm of youth.
"If I remember correctly," the Doctor continued, "he asked you to throw him against a wall!"
"That he did," Kaidan chuckled, "and then he asked you to be ready to patch him up if he broke anything."
"Oh Corporal Jenkins," she said softly, eyes glistening a little, "I thought he was going to need me too, when he just lay on the ground after the throw."
"You were so upset, you yelled at me! 'Lieutenant, what have you done?'" The both laughed at Kaidan's impersonation of the Chakwas. "And then he bolted up, bright-eyed, and shouted 'that was awesome!' He wouldn't leave me alone the rest of the day."
Jenkins was a good kid, and he was dead. The air in the med bay fell silent again.
Doctor Chakwas raised her coffee mug. "To Jenkins," she said, her voice strong and proud.
"To Jenkins."
Warmth. Shepard didn't know where she was, but she felt safe. The sky was a pleasant shade of purple; the air flowed around her like water. Voices drifted around her – people laughing and talking in a language she didn't understand. A woman cradled Shepard in her arms; she looked like an older, larger version of Jane. "Hi sweetheart," the woman smiled, "are you ready to go home?"
Shepard reached out to touch her, but the woman had turned her gaze to the sky. The world suddenly became dark and cold; the voices began to speak in low and worried tones. "What's happening?" Shepard asked.
"It's not safe," the woman sounded scared, "I have to hide you." With tears streaming down her face, woman picked Shepard up and set her down inside a box. "I'm sorry, baby, but I can't come with you." The woman turned and ran, and in that moment, the world seemed to collapse.
Blood. Everywhere Shepard looked, there was blood. The foreign voices were replaced by screeching metal; the purple sky with blinding flashes of yellow and green. Someone was screaming in terror; it took Shepard a few seconds to realize that she was the one doing it.
Holy shit.
When the mug in Doctor Chakwas' hand shattered, both she and the Lieutenant jumped. It took them a second to realize that the Commander was ablaze in blue biotics, screaming bloody murder. She threw her biotics blindly, with her eyes squeezed shut and her face contorted in fear. Kaidan's heart twisted to see her like this.
"Shepard!" Kaidan pulled a biotic barrier over himself and rushed to the bed, pulling her into his body. He held her still while Doctor Chakwas quickly jabbed a sedative into her arm.
Shepard's eyelids flew open. "No! Don't leave me! Don't leave…"
Kaidan felt her slowly go limp in his arms; her caramel colored eyes dilated and lost focus, but she gazed at him for a few moments longer. He wanted to shoot himself for putting her through this.
"That should put her out for at least half the day," Doctor Chakwas mumbled, "maybe I'd better do another brain scan after I clean up."
Kaidan gently set his commander back on the bed, and for the first time in his life, he felt completely helpless.
