The following short one-shots come from the requests of toolsofdestiny, division-ten, HailsStorm, zenith88, The White Guardian and Destiny.

Enjoy!


Shower

After rolling around in Lombax nip for about twenty minutes, Clank's fur had become filthy. So Ratchet told him to go and take a shower in order to rinse out all of the filth. Of course, Clank had bathed himself before in robot form, but he knew nothing about taking showers with water. He only knew about taking baths in oil (which seemed much more relaxing than standing in a stream of water drops). So Ratchet had turned the shower on for him and set it to the right temperature. Then he left Clank alone in the bathroom so he could proceed with the bathing.

"This will not be as good as an oil bath, I can already tell," Clank said to himself after removing his clothes.

He stepped into the shower, and immediately felt the nice warm water on his newly developed organic skin. He couldn't help but purr a little, it felt like warm rain. And both he and Ratchet knew the he positively loved rain. Though Ratchet had told him that he can't sit in the rain because he might catch a cold. But what were the odds of that happening to him?

Clank put his whole body in the stream of water, feeling his ears droop as they became soaked. Okay, first thing's first, he has to wash the fur on top of his head. So, he quickly located the bottle of shampoo sitting nicely on one of the shower shelves. He grabbed the bottle, opened it, then squeezed out some weird blue substance.

Squirt!

"Hehehehe!" Clank giggled as the bottle made some sort of fart noise when he had finished squeezing it.

Clank placed the shampoo back to its rightful place, then looked at the light blue goop he was holding in his hand. Ratchet had told him to scrub his head with this substance in order to clean himself. So, he rubbed his hands together, getting shampoo on both of them, then proceeded to scrub the substance into the fur on top of his head. He had to admit, he didn't like it at first. It felt weird on his skin and it even burned a little. But, when he really got into it, it actually felt quite pleasant. So pleasant that he started purring again. His purring became louder when he rinsed the shampoo out of his fur. He had no idea that showers could feel so nice. He was even willing to admit that they were better than oil baths, and that's really saying something.

After using a washcloth that Ratchet had told him to clean himself with so he could get all the dirt out of his fur, Clank was ready to get out (even though he really didn't want to). When he overcame the sadness of turning off the nice refreshing water, he stepped out onto the bathmat and grabbed the towel that Ratchet had left him. After a very thorough drying of his fur, Clank was ready to tell Ratchet that it was his turn for a shower, but his reflection caught his eye.

Clank looked into the mirror on the wall and saw himself. Not a small, green eyed robot with a red antennae. But a tall, green eyed Lombax with a red puffball on his head. He had to admit, even though he was in a different body, he could still see his robot self in his bright green eyes.

"Clank, are you done in there?" Ratchet asked, knocking in the door.

"Y-Yes, I am," Clank replied, taking one last look at himself. Then he put on his clothes and exited the bathroom.


Treats

"Mmmm...mmmm..."

Ratchet purred in delight as he munched on a bag of Dr. Croid's Lombax Treats. Though he hated having the treats shoved into his mouth by the Tharpod, he loved how they tasted. Though he didn't want to admit it in front of his friends (and Nefarious...and...and Qwark), but Clank found out eventually when he once found him eating the treats in bed under the covers. At least he didn't have to hide them anymore since Clank found out. Speaking of Clank...

"Are those Lombax treats?" The gray Lombax asked as he peeked around the corner.

"Uh...no," Ratchet replied, attempting to hide the bag.

"I saw the label."

"Ugh. Okay, yes, I'm eating Lombax treats."

"...Can I have some?"

"What?"

"Can I have some Lombax treats? I am a Lombax now after all..." Clank said, putting on a beggy face.

Ratchet, who was surprised at the request, was going to say no (he really didn't like to share his treats). But Clank's eyes were so big and it looked like he wanted to try the treats very badly. So he gave in the the beggy face, gave a big sigh, and held the bag out towards his friend. Clank's ears twitched with happiness as he reached into the bag and grabbed a few pieces. After sniffing it a few times (still not sure how the fundamentals of noses work) he popped a piece into his mouth. He munched on it for a few moments.

"Mm, not bad. I like them...can I have more?"

"No, I already shared. You know that these are property of me, and me only," Ratchet said, holding the bag away from Clank, who had tried to grab more treats.

"Please Ratchet, they are really good! And we are both Lombaxes, so the treats are property of both of us!" Clank said, trying to grab the bag. Ratchet started pushing him away.

"Uh-uh, you tried some, and that's all you get."

"O-okay..." The gray Lombax said sadly, his ears drooping, making Ratchet's face soften.

The orange Lombax couldn't stand seeing his best pal lower his ears. It was almost as sad as watching his used-to-be robot head drop. After convincing himself to share his addictive treats, Ratchet rolled his eyes and sighed, but then he smiled as he handed the bag of treats to Clank. The Lombax's ears twitched happily some more when he accepted the bag and started eating the treats. Ratchet kept that smile on his face as he watched Clank munch on the pellets.

Maybe sharing his treats wasn't so bad after all.


Sickness

Clank laid down on the couch with one hand on his stomach and one hanging off the side of the couch itself. Something did not feel right with him. His face felt like that it was getting warmer and warmer, and he was finding it to be a bit hard to breathe through his nose. Whenever he tried to, the air would be stopped by some sort of substance lodged within his nasal cavity. He guessed that he had tried breathing in that way too many times, because the substance stopping his breathing started flowing out of his nose. He wiped his nose on his glove, and saw that the strange substance some sort of greenish-yellow substance goo.

"What is this stuff?" Clank asked himself, but he jumped a little when he received an answer.

"Uh, that would be mucus...and it looks like you're producing a lot of it," Ratchet said, looking over the back of the couch.

"Why? Why am I producing such a suddenly amount of mucus? It is disgusting!" Clank said, covering his nose.

"You're leaking that gross stuff because you're sick. You must have caught a cold when you sat out in the rain earlier. Even though I warned you that you would."

"So what am I supposed to do? How do make this stop?"

"Well, I'm telling you right now, it's not gonna stop right away. You'll need to rest for a few days. That means minimal walking, staying in bed or on the couch if you want to, and eating mainly soup...also, you have to try soup now."

Clank sighed in sadness at what Ratchet said, and then peeked at this nose covering hands. He gave a ginormous look of disgust when he saw: his gloved hands covered in greenish goo. He had held his nose for too long and all of the mucus had leaked onto his hands.

"Ratchet, there is mucus all over my hands! Get it off!" Clank said, showing his snot covered hands to Ratchet.

"EW! Don't show it to me! I'm gonna go get you a tissue," Ratchet said, walking towards one of their extra supply closets. He opened the closet door and dug through the closet's supplies until he found an unopened box of tissues. He hurried back to Clank while opening the box. Then he handed the snot covered Lombax a fresh tissue "Here you go."

"Thank you, Ratchet," Clank said, wiping off his hands and nose. But, when he was wiping his nose, he accidentally dug inside into his nasal cavity. The resulting sensation was odd. And the resulting reaction was even odder for him. His eyes were squinted and he was was taking quick, sharp breaths, and he had no control over either of them. The next thing he knew, the inside of his nose felt like it exploded.

ACHOO!

Clank quickly buried his nose into the tissue as a tsunami of mucus came flowing out of it. When the flood stopped, he gave a great big sniffle and looked up at Ratchet with wide eyes.

"What was that?! What just happened to me?! Is it bad?!"

"Calm yourself, buddy. You just sneezed. And it was a pretty big one by the look and sound of it. I was worried that you would have ended up sneezing out some blood with the force of that one."

"Blood?!" Clank cried out, looking at his own nose.

"I wasn't being serious! I was kidding! Kidding!" Ratchet said, waving his hands innocently.

Clank was about to say something, but instead he started sniffling. Then he blew his nose into a new tissue (praying that no blood would come out). He looked a bit exhausted and he was all stuffy.

"Ratchet, I do not like feeling this awful..." Clank said, putting his arm over his eyes.

"I know, being sick sucks. Tell ya what. How about I get you a blanket, make some chicken noodle soup, and we'll watch some holo-films?"

"That sounds nice, thank you Ratchet."

"No problem, pal."

Ratchet walked away towards the room where they kept the spare bed parts while Clank relaxed himself and smiled a little bit. Maybe being sick won't be so bad.

"Ahh..ahhh...ACHOO!"

Okay, maybe it will be a bit bad. But at least he had Ratchet to take care of him.


Tail Pulling

Ratchet was searching through the refrigerator, looking for leftovers to reheat for dinner. There was leftover spaghetti, meatloaf, some hot dogs, all kinds of stuff. However, since Clank was going to be eating the food as well, maybe he should be the one to pick out the leftovers. So, Ratchet closed the fridge and ventured out into the living room in search of his friend. He quickly located the gray Lombax sitting on the couch and, of course, he was deep into a book. Even as an organic Clank was a bookworm.

Ratchet called out from behind Clank "Hey, Clank. Come take a look at the leftovers and tell me which one you want to try the most...Clank?"

The gray Lombax didn't respond. In fact, it didn't look like that Clank knew that Ratchet was talking at all. He hadn't moved a muscle or even twitched an ear when the orange Lombax had spoke to him. So, Ratchet tried again.

"Uh, Clank? Helloooo...?"

No answer.

"Kerwan to Clank, do you read me?"

Nothing.

"HEY! CLANK!"

Fed up with being ignored or not being heard, Ratchet lunged forward and grabbed Clank's tail, yanking it upwards. Clank yelped as his Lombax tail was pulled, even meowing in annoyance for a moment.

"HEY! What did you do that for?" Clank said, yanking his tail out of Ratchet's grip.

"You weren't listening to me! I was getting annoyed!"

"I was listening to your music player! That is why I could not hear you!"

It was then that Ratchet noticed the ear buds lying on the couch. He could hear music playing out of them, so Clank must have been too surprised to have paused the player. His ears drooped and he rubbed the back of his head.

"Uh, oops. Sorry about that, pal."

"And do not pull my tail again, I do not like it," Clank said stroking the fur on his tail.

"Yeah, I wouldn't have done that if I had known. So...anyway, wanna come pick out some leftovers?"

"Just pick out one that will taste similar to that sandwich you made me earlier."


Sugar High

Clank let out a great big yawn. Even though he had just taken a nap and had felt energized at first, his energy had suddenly disappeared and he was tired again. Of course, Ratchet didn't want him taking more naps and it was far too early to go to bed, so he told Clank that he would make a special drink that helps energize people when they're tired. He expected Clank to be worried about what he was going to make him, but the gray Lombax was too tired to worry about anything.

"Is that drink almost done, Ratchet?" Clank said, trying to glance over his shoulder.

"Just about! Don't fall asleep on me, ya hear?" Ratchet yelled back.

"Mmm...no promises..." Clank replied, resting his head on his hand.

After a few minutes, Ratchet walked over to him with a coffee mug and handed it to him. Inside was a blackish liquid that reflected his face.

"What is this?" Clank asked, looking up at Ratchet.

"Hm, well let's see, what goes into a coffee mug?"

"Oh, um...I am guessing coffee?"

"And you guessed right. Now drink up so you can get back to being awake."

"What does this taste like?"

"Well, plain coffee is pretty bitter and nasty. So I added a bunch of sugar so it doesn't taste as bad. So it's very, very sweet."

Clank looked at his reflection in the liquid once more before putting the mug up to his mouth and pouring the liquid itself down his throat. Ratchet was right, it was very, very sweet. Then again, he wasn't too sure was sweet was. But if this was what sweet was, he liked it. A lot. He liked it so much that he didn't realize how hot the beverage was until he was half way done with it. He quickly put the drink down as his tongue felt like it was boiling.

"Hot! Hot! Hot!" Clank yelled, sticking out his tongue and waving it with his hand.

"You're not supposed to chug coffee, pal. Anyway, how do you feel now? Awake?"

Clank sat there for a moment so he could let the coffee settle in. He remembered how sweet it was, that sugar sure did the trick with him. He was feeling more and more energized by the second...

And...and more energized...

And even more...

And even more...

"Clank? Are you alright?" Ratchet asked looking at his friend and placing a hand on his shoulder. What did the coffee and sugar do to him? He was about to get his answer when he suddenly felt Clank shaking.

The gray Lombax started gasping as his heart started pumping. His new blood was flowing through his veins at a rapid pace and everything felt like a rush. He suddenly felt like that...that he could do anything.

Without a second thought, Clank drained the rest of his coffee in one gulp, then he sprung upwards off the couch.

"I feel fantastic! I can do anything! Hahaha!"

"Oh no..." Ratchet said, pinching the bridge of his nose. But his oh-noness was cut off by Clank grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him a little.

"Come on Ratchet! Let's go save a galaxy! Let's go discover a new element! Let's go see Qwark!"

"Okay, you have officially gone insane! Why don't you try and calm down" Ratchet said trying to push Clank off of him.

"NO! WE HAVE TO GO AND SAVE A GALAXY!" Clank shouted, making Ratchet cover his mouth so he wouldn't shout anymore. He didn't want the apartment neighbor sending in noise complaints.

"I knew that I should have just told you to go to bed. Okay, here's what we'll do. I'm going to trap your tail under the bookshelf over there so you won't be able to-AHH!" Ratchet yelped in surprise as all of Clank's weight suddenly came down on him. He tried to hold the gray Lombax up. "Clank, what are you-"

"Snore...snore..."

The gray Lombax couldn't handle the sugar overdose anymore, so his body had shut down, sending him into a deep sleep. Ratchet couldn't believe how fast he had crashed, he must not handle the combination of coffee and sugar very well. So, he pushed Clank down onto the couch and covered up him with a blanket so he could at least rest peacefully. Ratchet then folded his arms.

"To think...all I did was add three spoonfuls."


Video Games

Grand Theft Hovercar 5

Laser Death Match

"Death laser match, my favorite!" Ratchet said, excited as he flexed his fingers on his controller.

"It is not particularly my favorite..." Clank said, placing a hand on the back of his neck.

Ratchet and Clank were always competing with each other in the games 'Laser Death Match' mode. It was a mode where the players are set at a different area, and they have to find each other and try to kill one another with laser guns. The rule was first one to kill wins, and Ratchet would always kill quickly Clank's character. Since Clank had three fingers, he couldn't press as many buttons on the controller as Ratchet could, putting him at a disadvantage...a laser full disadvantage. So Clank never really liked Laser Death match because Ratchet would always win.

However, Clank remembered that he now had five fingers, just like Ratchet. With his intelligence and two extra fingers, maybe that day would be the day that he beat Ratchet at Grand Theft Hovercar 5.

"Get ready, Ratchet said, putting a good grip on his controller.

"Match starts in 3...2...1...GO!"

Clank's character was dropped into the middle of a city with active streets. Because they were playing on a split-screen and Ratchet knew the game map so well, he immediately figured out where he was.

"Ahh! I know where you are! I'm coming to get you!"

Clank's ears lowered as he kept his character in place. What should he do? Ratchet knew where he was, so running wasn't really an option. He could steal a hovercar and drive away quickly, but Ratchet would probably catch up to him in his own stolen hovercar. So what could he do? there were basically no options. Besides, there was no time for options anymore, because Clank spotted Ratchet's character pointing a gun at his own character.

"I got you now!" Ratchet said, preparing to shoot.

Without thinking, Clank pressed several buttons, making his character pull out a laser gun and obliterate Ratchet's character. He watched as Ratchet's character got shot in the chest, then fell down off building balcony he was trying to aim from. Shot to the chest, falling body, Clank had seen this before...

But, before he could even begin to think about that similar incident, the game spoke.

RatchetLombax was killed by ClankXJ! ClankXJ wins!

"How did you do that?" Ratchet asked, turning to him with a shocked look on his face.

"Huh?"

"You...you were so dang quick...you've never been that quick before!"

"Well...I guess it's because I could pull out the gun and shoot faster because I have more fingers to press buttons with," Clank said, raising his hands to show Ratchet.

"Hmph...that's the first time I've ever lost to you in a Laser Death Match...I will not lose again! Round Two, how bout it, pal?"

"Okay."

Ratchet was confident in his character now. He knew about Clank's speed, and he was going to use it against him...

RatchetLombax was killed by ClankXJ! ClankXJ wins!

RatchetLombax was killed by ClankXJ! ClankXJ wins!

RatchetLombax was killed by ClankXJ! ClankXJ wins!

"AAARRRGGGHHH!"


Swimming

It was a beautiful day in Metropolis. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, the gray Lombax in blue swim trunks was nervously standing by the edge of the pool...

"I am not too sure about this Ratchet. I just got done learning how to control my breathing. Do you think that I am read to swim?" Clank asked, looking over his shoulder at the orange Lombax with red swim trunks.

After realizing what a nice day it was, Ratchet decided that it was an amazing day to go swimming at the public pool. But, since they didn't want fans interrupting their good time, Ratchet had persuaded Qwark to let them have the pool privately for the day (and by persuaded, he meant giving Qwark five thousand bolts to rent the pool for one day). Though Ratchet was happy that they had a whole pool all to themselves, he was most excited about teaching Clank how to swim.

In his robot form, Clank didn't need to know how to swim because he was always on Ratchet's back whenever they needed to get somewhere via water. Besides, weighing seventeen pounds and being made out of metal, if Clank jumped into a pool of water as a robot, he would just sink to the bottom. Also, he would never stay in pool water, the chlorine would risk rusting his metal. So, if he ever was in a pool, he would sitting on something inflatable so he wouldn't touch the water.

But, now that Clank's a Lombax, he could finally learn how to swim in a pool without risk of rusting anything. Of course, Clank was extremely nervous. He had suddenly developed the organic's natural fear of drowning. But Ratchet assured him that he would be there for him if anything went wrong. But that wasn't making the part of entering the pool any easier for Clank.

"It's okay Clank. I'm here for you. Now just jump in and I'll take you from there," Ratchet said, motioning him towards the water.

"O-okay..." Clank said okay, but he wasn't moving at all.

Ratchet rolled his eyes. If just getting him in the water was tough, then getting him to swim in it was going to be harder. So, he thought of the best possible way to make him get in. His eyes went wide and he pointed in a random direction. "Oh my god! Is that the guy from Robo-Chef?!"

"Where?!" Clank asked excitedly, looking at where Ratchet was pointing at.

Ratchet ran at Clank while he was distracted and pushed him into the pool. The gray Lombax made a big splash as he fell into the water, the splash managing to get Ratchet wet. When he saw that Clank was having trouble getting back up the the surface, Ratchet quickly jumped in and swam down to his struggling friend, grabbing him and pulling him back to to the surface They both gasped as they finally received some air.

"Why...did...you do that?" Clank asked, trying his best to keep his head above water.

"Well, I knew that you wouldn't get in the water voluntarily so...I kinda had to push you," Ratchet said, getting some water out of his eyes.

"I could not breathe down there, it was horrible!"

"Welp, that's water for ya. Now then, I guess I should show you how to navigate around this place. Let's see if you can do something simple," Ratchet said, turning around. He gave a few kicks of his legs and propelled himself about eight feet from Clank. "Now then, come on over here."

"I do not think I can..."

"Yes you can. Just kick your feet a little and kinda rocket yourself over here."

Clank, still trying his best to keep his head above water, started kicking his feet and tried going towards Ratchet. He even tried moving his arms in some weird fashion. It looked like he was trying to ride two bikes at once. But, surprisingly the method worked and he actually made it over to Ratchet. But Ratchet didn't notice because he was laughing too hard.

"What is so funny?" Clank asked, tilting his head.

"That swimming...it...I don't even know what to say about it! Haha! Clanky-paddle! That's what I'm going to call this technique! I officially dub that technique: Clanky-paddle! Hahahaa!"

Clank folded his arms in disapproval, but he had to admit, it was pretty funny. So funny that he even found himself laughing along with Ratchet. But, after they both calmed down, he looked at his friend.

"I guess I should continue practicing."

"Nah, I'm in way too good a mood for making you do laps around the pool...organic tin can," Ratchet said, splashing Clank in the face with water.

Normally, Clank would have been angry about having chlorine filled water splashed into his face. But, instead of scolding Ratchet, he just started laughing some more as he splashed Ratchet back. Then the two got into a playful water splashing war.

Clank wished that he could do this as a robot. But at least he got to find out what playing in a pool is like.


Pain

It was the most horrible sensation that Clank had ever felt. The stinging, the burning, the broken skin, the blood...the pain.

Clank had been retrieving a tool for Ratchet when they were trying to finish up fixing a broken spaceship's wing. Some of the wires inside of it had snapped, so Ratchet was replacing them with new ones. When Ratchet had requested a tool, Clank quickly went and grabbed it. But, when he was making his way back to Ratchet, he had cut his arm on the sharp tip of the ship's wing. The cut was about three inches long, and it was very painful. When Ratchet had heard Clank yelp in pain, he had asked if he was alright. When Clank said that he was, the orange Lombax had seen the red blood dripping off of the other Lombax's elbow. So, Ratchet had dropped everything and brought Clank back inside the apartment so he could take care of the bad cut.

"You really need to watch where you're going, pal. This is a pretty good cut you have here," Ratchet said, observing the cut itself.

"It hurts...I do not like this," Clank said, his ears drooping. Though he had felt pain before as a robot, he had not been able to feel anything like this. And the blood was not helping the situation. He could feel it running down his arm, and it was not a pleasant feeling.

"Okay, I'm gonna do something, and you're not gonna like it. But I promise you, this will make the pain stop," Ratchet said, pulling a rag and a bottle out of his First-Aid Kit. He poured some sort of clear liquid onto the rag and held it up to Clank's cut. And when he put the rag onto the cut...

"AHHHHH!" Clank yelled in pain as his arm was met with a severe stinging sensation. It was like when Angela had kidnapped and electrocuted him, only this time, all the pain was aimed at his arm.

"It's alright, it's alright. The worst part is over. It's the first few seconds that suck the most," Ratchet said, holding the rag on Clank's wound.

"Having a cut is not pleasant at all. I should have watched for the tip of the wing," Clank said sadly as the stinging of the medicine died down a bit.

"Well, we all manage to hurt ourselves sometimes. Whether it be tripping and falling, hitting your head on something, cutting your arm on a sharp object. But, if we have proper care, the pain doesn't last too long," the orange Lombax said, digging through his Kit and grabbing some gauze.

Ratchet removed the rag from Clank's cut and started wrapping it in gauze. He decided to put a double layer on in case it started bleeding again. When he was done, he snipped off the end of the bandages and put everything away.

"There, that should do it."

"It hardly hurts anymore. Thank you, Ratchet," Clank said, looking at his bandaged arm.

"It was no problem. The last thing I want to see is my best pal in pain. Anyway, you want anything for lunch?"

"Ummm...peanut butter and jelly sandwich...please?" Clank asked with a small embarrassed but beggy face.

Ratchet smiled and rolled his eyes, then entered the kitchen, grabbing the grape jelly on the way to the counter.


Lombax Clank loves peanut butter and jelly sandwiches...because reasons...and cuteness.

I am LOVING these requests! Keep sending them in people! I'm lovin' them!

Also, remember how I said that my Pokemon cards are worth $200. Well, I actually found more cards in my closet and I found a few rare ones. So, after adding the cost of the newly found cards to my already put together deck, the new deck of cards I put together is worth over $320...seriously, I'm going to smack everyone who said that Pokemon Cards are lame with the money I make.

Oh, and White Guardian. A Giratina Lv. X card in good condition is worth about $8.00. Just wanted to let you know.

Make sure to leave a review/request while picking up your complimentary toaster!

This is Amberdiamondswords, Lordess of Diamond Swordness, pledger to Tobuscus, signing off!