1936

On his 15th birthday, Ludwig couldn't stop his heartbeat. He had received a gift from one of his female classmates. The gift felt heavy in his pocket as he rode his bicycle back towards home. He was considering, whether he should show it to Gilbert or not.

He knocked the door and hid the pocket inside his bag. The rain drops were falling gently over his head and slid slowly down his hair tips. Gilbert opened the door.

"Hal-, Come in!" Gilbert pulled Ludwig inside and took his school bag from him. He brought a dry towel for the younger and wrapped the fabric around his head. Ludwig sighed and started to dry his wet hair. Gilbert took his bag away. His heart started to beat faster when he remembered that the girl hadn't only given him a pocket, but also a letter. Suddenly, a shudder of fear ran down his body.

"Ya bro, you are shivering. Change your clothes, you'll get sick!" Gilbert saw him. He brought his bag into his room and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea for make him.

Ludwig watched him go; he got into his room and shut the door. He sat behind the closed door to get it shut, because the old door didn't have a key or a lock to secure his room.

He sank on the ground and opened his bag to pull a letter out. He opened the cover.

"Happy, as happy as you are.

Birthday? Can I make your day?

To you,..."

He smiled at his little confession letter. But, Gilbert shouldn't find his letter. He opened the pocket and saw a portrait of himself drawn by pencil. He was more than happy. He could even show it to Gilbert, had he not reacted so against the idea of having a girlfriend.

Another knock on his door, and Ludwig was sure if he hadn't opened his door, the door wouldn't exist anymore.

"Ludwig, what are you doing?" Gilbert called.

"Nothing, just changing my clothes", Ludwig mentally slapped himself, because he was so incompetent with lying. Obviously, it wasn't a good reason for sitting behind his door and not letting Gilbert in. "The food is ready." He heard the elder's foot step. He sighed and hid his portrait and the letter under his mattress. The slight feeling of guiltiness blossomed inside him, because everything he was and he had, been granted to Gilbert, because he worked hard for them. Even the mattress reminded him of Gilbert's labour work. Wasn't it betrayal to hide something as close to a taboistic act under that mattress? He didn't know. He wanted to feel different only for once in his life time, only for a week or so. He was 15; he wanted to feel like a teenager.

"Ludwig!" Gilbert called him again.

"What took you so long?" Gilbert asked. Ludwig didn't know how to answer that question. Thanks to his cluelessness, he hadn't even touched his clothes. Gilbert knew the younger was lying, but he didn't to push him further. Even Ludwig had a reason to lie, since he was a teenager, and teens would do anything. Even he lied; even Gilbert lied to Ludwig, sometimes; because he couldn't talk to his younger about his sex life or how he smoked once in a while to hinder his stress and problems. Bad idea, but better than breaking someone.

"Drink the tea and eat your food before it gets cold." Gilbert kindly patted his hair and patted his hand down to his upper back. "Don't worry." He cooed. "Everything is fine, even if you don't tell me." With that said, a shudder ran down the younger's spine. The blossomed guilt in his chest grew larger, teasing his chest. He coughed and sat back. Gilbert's expression changed and sat back on his place, too. Ludwig looked at everything except his eyes. There was a killing silence between them. Gilbert waited for Ludwig, and Ludwig waited for Gilbert to start.

Nothing happened. Ludwig sighed and smiled at Gilbert. "It was tasty. Thank you." He changed the subject. Gilbert hated when the younger changed the subject so non-chalantly. So effortlessly. "You are welcome." Gilbert said without emotions. They were just words meant without feeling.

Ludwig was studying in his room, when Gilbert walked in. He sat on his bed and Ludwig could feel his heart pumping harder than ever. "You like... girls?" Ludwig put his pen down and faced his elder. "What type of question is that?" He asked. Gilbert shrugged. "I can see how that little Italian in the bakery shop talks to you."

"Are you talking about Feliciano?" Gilbert nodded. Ludwig hadn't thought about it like that. His perspective was totally different. "I don't feel anything like that towards him." Ludwig answered, because he had never thought about a 'friend' like that. But, he knew about Gilbert. He knew that he wasn't only limited to female. Gilbert didn't tell him about his 'personal' life, but he knew it. After Elizabetha, Gilbert had changed a lot. He wasn't talking about girls, because no girl could surpass Elizabetha. Somewhere between those lines, Gilbert was staring at guys more than girls. Ludwig knew it, because he was always with him. Ludwig even knew what type of guy Gilbert preferred; a guy like 'him' or a guy like 'her'.

Ludwig understood. Yet, he didn't know about his life- Ludwig thought.

"I like him, because he is only a 'friend', nothing more." Ludwig answered sternly. He liked the little girl from his class, who had portrait him so flawlessly. He liked to feel her hands within his own. He liked her, at least that was what he thought. "Very well. Goodnight, Ludwig." Gilbert smirked and walked out.

Gilbert waited until Ludwig turned off hislight, indicating he was sleeping. He waited another hour to make sure nothingcould wake him. He took his jacket from the hanger, wore it and walked out ofthe house. He knew he was going to carry dark circles under his eyes for thenext day, but it was worth it, because at night time, Ludwig wasn't there to watch him be an irresponsible man who banged with other men.

Once in a while, he felt like it, so he went out.

But this time, it wasn't a stranger. He was going out with one of his colleagues,whom he had found out about earlier that month. It was no emotional meeting, nohard feelings for each other, just out of a mere need.

But, Ludwig didn't know, because he was safe, asleep. And, he shall never findout about him.