Chapter 2- A Day in the Life of Eddie without Janet
Eddie woke up and instinctively reached to the other side of the bed. Not finding Janet, he thought that maybe she had gone to the bathroom. He started to get up and find her when it all came crashing down. The confession, the break-up, the month without her. He closed his eyes against the pain that consumed him. He hated this. Hated it! He knew that everyone thought he was angry and he was; but most of all he was hurt and incredibly sad. It was easier for people to think he was angry because then he wouldn't have to talk about the pain. Although he did talk briefly with Pizza Girl and seemed that she was beginning to understand how bad he was taking this.
Eddie thought that he just needed some time, but the longer he went without seeing Janet, the harder it became. Which left him with a dilemma; he figured that when he became overwhelmed with the need to see her, he would just go over to Sully's and look his fill. Now, though, she wasn't working there. If he wanted to see her, he would have to actively seek her out. He didn't know if he could do that. He was still so angry, but he also missed her like crazy. He didn't know how to face her without kissing her and punching a wall at the same time.
Of course, this wasn't going to get solved while he was lying in bed. He would have to think about this some more, if that was at all possible. It was all he had been thinking about for a month. Maybe talking to Owen would help. What they had gone through wasn't exactly the same, but Owen was the only one who knew what he was feeling. Yeah, that's what he would do. Call Owen and ask him to meet him at the window shop. Feeling a little better that he had a plan, Eddie got up and started another long and lonely day.
Later Owen had gotten his message and came to Best Friend Windows on his lunch hour. "Hey, Eddie," he greeted when he walked in, "What goes on?"
"Owen, glad you're here. Listen ,man, is it ok if we talk? I know that Allison and Ikey is still a sore subject but I need some advice."
Owen sat down in a chair across from Eddie's desk. "Sure man shoot."
"Well, I know you and Allison are trying to work things out and you and Ikey are on good footing again, so how did you do it? How did you forgive them?"
Owen chuckled hollowly. "Well, it wasn't easy. Truth is, I'm not completely there yet. But I will be. The big step was deciding that I was going to try and forgive them. That's how I know I'll get there; I want to and I'm trying. I mean, Ikey's my best friend and Allison's my wife. No matter what happens, I still love her."
Eddie nodded, knowing how hard this was for both of them. "Besides, you have kids together. You probably wanted to make it work for them."
"Nah," Owen disputed. "I mean, yeah, ideally, if we could be blissfully happy it would be great for them. But getting our marriage back together is going to take a lot of work and a lot of hurt and pain and anger is going to come out. We talked about it after Angela's funeral and we weren't going to put them through that if we weren't committed. And we are. I think we'll get through this and be stronger for it."
Eddie's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Angela's funeral. He remembered what happened between he and Janet afterwards; they had had great make-up sex the minute she pulled him in the door, followed by hours of talking about Angela and her grandparents and how much she was grateful he was going. Making up after that fight had been so simple, but nothing about them would ever be that simple again.
Owen looked at Eddie strangely and he was pulled out of his thoughts. He remembered what he wanted to say next and continued, "Yeah, but that's different, O. You guys have been married for a long time. You owed it to yourselves to give it another chance."
"Hey, Eddie, love is love. It wouldn't matter how long we'd been married; if the love wasn't there, we would've just called it quits. You have to decide if the same thing is true for you and Janet."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Eddie started, waving his hand in front of his face. "No one said anything about love. Janet and I care about each other, but love? We weren't together that long."
Owen started laughing at the deer-in-the-headlights look on Eddie's face. "Oh man, you are in such denial. Everyone knew you were in love with each other except you two. Sorry, but you wouldn't be taking it this hard if you weren't in love."
"Maybe, but she could sleep with someone so effortlessly, then she couldn't really be in love with me, could she."
"I don't know." Owen paused. "Look, I can't speak for Janet but as for me and Allison; I know Allison's not the type of person to just sleep around. For her to have an affair, something must seriously be wrong. And we're working those things out together now. So, ask yourself, for Janet to sleep with another guy, was something seriously wrong, and if so, what was it?"
Eddie was silent. He hadn't told anyone about the kiss he'd shared with Rory. Maybe it was selfish, but a part of him wanted everyone to think that it was all Janet's fault. And granted, most of it was, but he did acknowledge his role. The fact that no one knew meant that Janet hadn't told anyone either. Anyone else would have defended their actions by explaining that he had kissed another woman. But of course Janet, his Janet, wasn't really like that. She took responsibility for her actions and didn't try to place the blame on anyone else. He frowned deeply as he realized what he had just thought. She wasn't "his Janet" anymore and he would be better off if he could stop thinking about her like that. And while his brain seemed to be on board with that plan, his heart just hadn't gotten the memo yet.
"Hey buddy where'd you go?" Eddie snapped out of it at Owen's voice. Owen grinned at him and then looked at his watch. "Hey man, I gotta get back to work, but you call if you need anything, ok? I know you may not be ready for this, but it may help to make things cleared it you talk to her. I've seen her a couple of times and she's been taking this pretty hard too."
A sudden surge of anger overtook him. "She's taking this hard!? She's the one who threw our relationship down the toilet! Everything we had, everything we meant to each other meant nothing to her in the end! She has no right to feel bad!" Eddie was standing up now, hands clenched at his sides.
"Ok, definitely not ready to see her yet. And as true as all of that may be, she is taking this hard whether you like it or not. I just think it would be a good idea to get her reasons for doing it. But not until you can talk to her with wanting to hurt her."
Eddie's face fell and a stricken look passed over it. "I could never want to hurt her, Owen. No matter what she's done, I could never hurt her."
Owen sadly smiled. "Not all hurt is physical, buddy. I mean you have hurt her in the past, and it probably still affects her to this day. Not that that's any excuse, but it has happened. Just take some time and thing about it. I gotta go. Catch you later."
Eddie watched Owen leave and then sat down, defeated. He felt so drained all of a sudden. His stomach growled and he realized that he hadn't eaten since last night. He decided to run to the deli down the street and then get back to work. When he got there, he saw something that made anger clench hot in his belly. There stood Rooster Russo talking on his phone in the alley beside the deli. What he saw next shocked him.
Ikey walked in front of Rooster and took the phone out of his hands. "He'll have to call you back," he said into the mouthpiece and then hung up.
Rooster looked annoyed and a little scared. Ikey was a small guy but never failed to intimidate when he was angry. "Did the goon squad send you here to beat me up?" Eddie got closer but stayed hidden. He really wanted to see where this was going.
"Nope, I'm here on my own. See, the way I figure it, you and I are kinda in the same situation. I just wanted to offer my advice." Eddie angered at Ikey's words. What was he playing at? He didn't move from his spot however; he was anxious to see what would happen.
"We're not in the same situation. You slept with your best friend's wife, I slept with the woman I was in love with. Lattekka didn't deserve her and I had been trying to show her that from day one."
"You think I wasn't in love with Allison, Russo? You think I would ruin the best friendships I've ever had just for a quick screw? I was in love with Allison." Eddie's eyes widened. It had never occurred to him that Ikey had actually been in love. He just assumed that Ikey had thought to much with his downstairs brain and hadn't thought about the consequences. His ears pricked as Ikey continued, "But it was a selfish kinda love. I knew that Allison was still in love with Owen; I knew she was using me to forget about the problems in her marriage and I let her. I wanted to be close to her so I was willing to take what I could get. But I shouldn't have done it. I should have stopped it and been her friend. I should have talked to her and convinced her to talk to Owen and work things out. Any of this sounding familiar?"
Rooster didn't say anything, seemingly not wanting to admit that he saw the parallels in their situations. "I think you did love Janet, Rooster, but you knew that she would never feel the same way, so you took advantage of her heartache so you could be close to her, even if it was just once. Now, I'm not judging, because I try I may be a lot of things, but I try not to be a hypocrite. I'm just here to offer advice."
Rooster, realizing now that he wasn't going to be beaten up, stood a little straighter. "Yeah you mentioned that. What advice?"
"Walk away. I am so glad that Owen and Allison are working things out because I do still care about her and I want her to be happy and she's happy with him. You need to back off and let Janet be happy. If you really love her, that's what you should want for her."
Rooster's eyes narrowed. "Yeah right. And what, Lattekka's gonna take her back? I highly doubt that. He's not going to want her now. She's damaged goods. Besides I never see her anymore. She wants nothing to do with me."
Ikey smiled. "Well, she is one very smart woman. You know, I was gonna warn you to stay away from Eddie, but you're kind of a bastard, so I think I'll root for him to kick your ass next time he sees you. Now get out of here before I change my mind and do it for him." Rooster glared at him but high-tailed it out of the alley.
Eddie waited a few seconds and then walked up behind Ikey. "Hey man."
Ikey jumped and whirled around. "Eddie! Um, how much did you hear?"
"All of it. Don't worry, I'm not mad. Would've been happier if you had kicked his ass, but I understand. Thanks. I guess I didn't realize how much I needed to hear all sides of it. I'm still mad as hell, but not at you. I get it now; about Allison. I'm sorry. I hadn't realized you were in love with her."
Ikey shook his head. "I was, but it's no excuse. I crossed a line and I'm lucky enough that you guys were willing to let me back in. And about what happened here; I guess I just understood the guy and wanted to give him the wisdom of my mistakes. But, I don't think he really cares. Not anymore. I should've kicked his ass."
Eddie smiled and clapped Ikey on the back. "Don't worry about it. We'll leave the Rooster ass-kicking to Hannah. She seems to have it handled. C'mon, I'll buy you a sandwich." With that, the two walked into the deli, their friendship on better footing than it had been in a while.
A/N: Ok, not happy with the ending. I know it seems weird that Eddie would be so mellow about Ikey talking with Rooster and not getting mad, but I wanted to show that Eddie has respect for Ikey becoming his own person. It seems that he has just followed the other guys around, not really having his own life, and I wanted to show that he's growing and Eddie understands. But it is kind of out of character for Eddie not to just run up and punch Rooster, so sorry about that. Hope that makes sense.
