Hey guys, now the chapters will get longer! The first ones were just the prologue.

Thanx for reading and reviewing:-)

Chakotay's POV:

One minute later, I am standing in front of her door. Somehow, I have a strange feeling about simply walking into her bedroom and invading her privacy. And what if everything's okay? What if she awakes? What if she throws me into the brig? But right now, I don't care. If I would be staying in the brig for the rest of our journey, I couldn't care less, I can live with that. I type in the security override.

It's silent in her quarters, almost creepy. I start to panic and run to her bedroom.

There she is, lying on the floor. She isn't moving. Her eyes are open, but without life. Just like in my nightmare. In her hand, she holds a phaser. I'm shocked. It seems like time had halted. I'm at her side immediately and search for her pulse. It's not there.

My brain understands: She's dead; I can't do anything for her. But my heart doesn't want to accept it. I call for the Doctor. "Chakotay to Sickbay. Medical emergency in the Captain's quarters!" The Doc replies immediately, but I don't notice in anymore. I don't notice anything around me. My thoughts circle around the woman laying here, the woman I love. I stroke her beautiful red-brown hair and get lost in thought. That's what I've always wanted to do. But now, knowing that it could be the last time…

Yes, I love her. Damn, I love her! When I first saw her, four years ago on the screen, it was love at first sight. I couldn't help but destroy my ship. It's also the reason why I integrated into her crew so easily, only to be with her. I've been admiring her from afar; she most likely never even noticed it. I've wanted to tell her how I felt, for years, but I was a coward. And now, it's too late. That thought gives me the rest. It makes all my dams break, I hold her lifeless body close to mine and cry. "Kathryn, please, don't do this to me! This crew needs you! I need you!"

After what felt like an eternity, the Doctor finally arrives. In every other situation, I would've been embarrassed, if anyone found out about my love for Kathryn. But as the Doc frees her of my embrace to examine her, I only care about her; it's her life that is at stake. The EMH scans her body with the medical tricorder, than he looks up to me. "We need to get her to sickbay, maybe I can save her there", he says. "Doctor to Transporter Room. Beam the Captain and myself to sickbay. Doctor to Lieutenant Paris. Get to sickbay immediately!" The urgent tone of the hologram worries me. Will he make it?, I ask myself. Then they're gone, vanished in the transporter beam, while I stay behind.

He has to be able to save her, he just has to. I can't imagine a life without Kathryn Janeway. They've been gone for half an hour and I still pace Kathryn's room. I have to go to sickbay; I have to know if she still has a chance. But I can't go, because I'm afraid of what might be. Chakotay, you damn coward! I can't imagine commanding Voyager, that's only due to Captain Kathryn Janeway. Without her, the ship wouldn't be the same anymore. My feelings are running high and I punch against the wall over and over again. Eventually, I can't do it any longer and collapse. "Kathryn, please come back to me!"

An hour later, I don't have any tears left to shed and decide to go to sickbay now. I can't bear the uncertainty anymore, I have to know. So I leave her quarters and head for the Turbolift. As I walk through the corridor, I don't even notice the passing crewmembers. The lift finally comes and I get in. With monotonous voice, I order the computer to bring me to Deck 5. The lift seems to be slower than ever, today. When I finally, after what felt like two hours, exit the lift, I rush to sickbay.

The Doctor is already waiting for me. "Ah, Commander, I was wondering if you'd got lost on the way." "Doc! How can you joke in a situation like that?", I snap at him. That makes his mouth corners fall. "I'm sorry; I just wanted to ease the mood a bit. I know, I'm a hologram, but this affects even me deeply." "Is…is she alive?", is the only thing I can croak out, then I burst into tears again. Doc's looking down, and then he recovers from the shock of seeing his superior cry and locks eyes with me. "I fear that her chances aren't good, Commander." Once I hear these words, the world collapses on me. I only realize that everything begins to spin around me, than I only see blackness.

Slowly, I open my eyes, the grey ceiling of sickbay above me. It doesn't make any sense. What am I doing here? At first, I'm confused, but then I remember. The nightmare. Kathryn. "Oh no!" I want to jump off the biobed, but the EMH stops me and talks insistently to me. "Calm down, Commander. You already had a breakdown because of the mental strain, I don't need you running around sickbay like a headless chicken. Stay in bed or I will sedate you." But I can't, I have to see her. "Please Doc, can you tell me something about the Captain's condition? Can I at least see her?" He answers my last question with a nod and so I rise and walk to the main biobed.

There she lies, the surgical support frame still up. Tom is analyzing a few monitors. Meanwhile, I have a closer look at her. Her normally pale skin is now white like snow; even her red lips are pale. Of course, the doctor notices my sad expression and tries to comfort me. "She was lucky that Voyager's energy supplies are low. The phaser didn't have enough power to kill her, otherwise she would be dead. She only made it by a hairs breadth." I look up. "She's…she's alive?", I ask. I can literally see how the EMH is trying to regain his composure. "What's up, Doc? What's the matter?" Somehow, he doesn't give me hope.

"Commander, I am sorry to inform you that the Captain…" His voice fails. "She is in a coma." At first, I don't know what to say, I have to take in those words, which seem so illogical to me. I'm shocked. But then, the words come out of my mouth. "Will…will she wake up again?" "The probability that she'll ever regain consciousness is vanishing low." These words are like a punch in the face. I have to cling on a console, because my legs don't want to function. My nightmare has come true. I look at Kathryn again. Even now, she's beautiful, she looks like an angel. I can't believe it. She was so strong; she was our tower of strength. When anyone had problems, she was there for us, we could lean on her. She was our rock, our backup.

What kind of horrible thing must have happened to throw her off track like this?