Chapter 3
"You summoned me, my Lord," Nysa dipped into a curtsy, smiling at Robb. He shook his head and motioned for her to come in. "I must say that this solar does not suit you. It looks too feminine."
"Well it does belong to the Lady of the House," he looked around. "I think I will leave the decision to her to do as she pleases with it," he smiled at Nysa.
"A fine husband you will make for her then, if you were to allow her to do as she pleases."
"I hope so," he stared at her with a fixed gaze, one that Nysa had seen often as he looked at her. He gestured for her to sit in the chair next to him. "My mother has refused to leave Bran's side so I have had to attend to a few things in her stead. I know that you have helped her before. I just wanted things to be in order before Father leaves."
Nysa nodded as she sat and looked over at the desk, sorting things here and there.
Robb watched her intently. He was not paying attention to what she was doing or if she had mentioned anything that needed improvement. In truth, he had called her there for another reason. His father had announced that he was still going to King's Landing. He was still going to take Arya and Sansa. Then, the heartbreaking news came forth. His father was also taking Nysa to the South. She was leaving him, leaving Winterfell.
Now would have been a proper time - if there ever was any - to tell her that he didn't want her to go.
Theon had suggested that Robb dip his cock at the brothel, then he would not be plagued with fantasies of the young woman in front of him now. As he watched her work next to him, doing something that the Lady of the House would normally do, he realized just how much he wanted it to be her and no one else. His father and mother told him what to look for. She would have to be more than just a pretty face - his mother warned him. She would need to be kind and generous. She would have to be dutiful, honorable and respect his family because kin were important. Robb believed the only person who met all those requirements were Nysa.
"It looks good," Nysa turned to him then.
"It does," he ran his hand inside her cloak and down her arm slowly. He leaned forward then, prepared to indulge in this sweet sin.
"Robb," she whispered. He closed his eyes and pulled back. "I am sorry about Bran," she said suddenly looking away from him.
Robb released a frustrated sigh. "I do not believe that he just fell," Robb clenched his fist. "And I know you do not either. He was so full of life. They say that if you live by the sword that you die by the sword. That was not the case with Bran. He could climb any cliff. No tower was too big for him. I hardly see him dying by doing something he loved." Robb looked at her. "And you feel the same, don't you?"
"Jory told me not to speak of it."
"But you could trust me with it, couldn't you? I trust you," he touched her hand. Nysa smiled at him. "You have been there for me whenever I needed you, Nysa. And I," he paused unable to find the words. "And I know you have been there for the rest of my family as well," he settled on instead, upset with himself that he could not say the words to her.
"Jon and I were just reminiscing about his birth the night of the feast," Nysa added. "I remember you calling him too small," she smiled and released a small laugh.
"He was small," Robb commented as he chuckled.
"He will wake," Nysa touched his hand.
"If the Gods are good."
"I prayed at the Sept as well," she told him. "I did that once," she looked away thinking of Lady Mariah Karstark then. "I prayed in the Godswood since there was a lack of Sept. I prayed to both the old and the new Gods, hoping to deliver new life. Maybe they will do the same here, for Bran."
"You are too kind."
Nysa smiled. "I always thought of Bran like a brother to me. I respect your parents. They've helped to raise me," she smiled. "I'd do anything for them."
"Anything," he asked softly. Nysa nodded slowly as Robb leaned forward again. "Then stay with me," he whispered just before brushing his lips against hers.
It was soft at first but when she whispered his name, it caused his entire body to ignite. His hand tangled into her hair, keeping her face close to his. Nysa grabbed his arm - her mind telling her to stop him before it got too far. Robb nibbled on Nysa's lip causing her to gasp and pull back slightly. His lips then moved to kiss her cheek, her chin, just below her ear causing her heart to quicken.
"Nysa," Robb pulled Nysa into his lap and kissed her deeper. It felt like she was being devoured.
She released the most delightful noise that made Robb groan. His other hand wrapped around her waist began to journey south. He squeezed her bottom just enough to make her squeal. Nysa's body responded by pushing against his. She felt so warm, so perfect. He reached his hand around to her leg. Slowly he trailed it up her smooth skin, pushing back at some of her skirts. The action pulled her to her senses.
"We shouldn't," she placed her hand on his and opened her eyes.
He looked up at her and gave her a small nod. His thumb continued to rub against her leg as their breathing slowed down.
"Do you really want me to stay back," she asked as her hands reached up to rest against his chest, toying with the buttons of his doublet.
"I do. I want you with me," he said. "Say you'll be mine."
Nysa smiled and gave him another kiss, causing him to smile back. "I have to go tell your father that I cannot go now for I am to stay back with you," she leaned down to kiss him once more but he held her back.
"Must we tell my father," he asked.
"Well of course, I mean," her smile dropped, "what were you planning on keeping me as, Robb?"
"I don't want you to leave."
"So, we have to inform your father," she gave him an incredulous look.
"I want you to stay back but I don't think we should tell him."
"Why not," she scooted back in his lap.
"He may not like it, that you're staying back for me. We may have to say something else," he looked troubled now.
"Say something else? Why would you want me to stay back, if not for..." She moved to stand up. "Am I just to play nurse to Rickon and Bran? Am I to just do the accounts and allow you to grope me as though I worked at a brothel?"
"Why are you getting angry with me?"
"Because you seem so against telling your father about me staying back to be with you," she answered.
Robb ran his hand through his hair before standing to face her. He took her hands in his and looked down at them.
"You mean to keep me secret?"
Robb sighed. He wanted her to stay back with him. He wanted to treat her as though she were his wife. There was no one else he wanted there but her. "I do not want you to leave me. But we," he lifted her hand to his lips. "We could never be, Nysa," he finished.
"Because I'm a bastard," she pulled her hand away. "So, it is either stay and have you kiss me in secret or I should just leave because you would be ashamed to tell your father?"
"I am not ashamed."
"But neither are you brave," Nysa took a step back. "The accounts look well, my Lord," she gave him a quick curtsy and rushed towards the door before he could see her tears.
It was not until she had exited the keep did she realize that there were no tears. Nysa lifted her hand to touch her cheek more than one occasion but they were not damp. She looked down at the sleeves of her gown but there were no traces of wetness there. Her heart felt hurt but it did not feel broken as it had when she was at Karhold. Nysa wondered why that was. Then it dawned on her - it was because she was angry! No, she wasn't saddened the same as when Torrhen sent her away from him. She was furious. He wanted to keep her a secret! She never thought she'd see the day that Robb would treat her with so little regard.
"Oh, that idiot," she cursed and kicked at the ground with her boot before stomping like a child.
A few people paused to look up at her but no one ventured forward. She wanted to hurt something. She wanted to shoot an arrow at something, anything. This must have been how Jon felt when he was frustrated with something. Nysa walked towards a fence, pulling a rope from the side and began to hit it against the post.
"Nysa!"
Her head turned to see Jon waving her over. He was by the stables and looking excited about something. She walked over and thought about what just happened. Should she tell Jon? He had said that there was something - it may have not been a lot but it was still something - that was happening between Robb and her. He would encourage her to walk back into the keep and talk things out with Robb. At least that was what she thought.
"What's the matter with you," he teased as she came closer.
"Of all the foolish nonsense I've heard you speak, Jon," she pointed at him, "do not ever counsel me about my relationship with Robb."
"What are you speaking of," Jon's smile dropped.
"He," she began but stopped when she noticed who was behind Jon. Two of them bore Karstark banners. The third was a Karstark himself. "Torrhen," Nysa said his name softly.
Torrhen walked towards her and placed his hand on her cheek. "Hello, my sweet Nysa."
"You are a liar! Jory would have told me if you sent a letter," Nysa shouted at Torrhen.
She had wrenched his hand away from her face when she discovered he had come to Winterfell and slapped him before turning to run from him. He had hurried after her, going as Jon had directed him to do so before finding her about to enter her room. Torrhen would have been a fool if he allowed her to escape him again. He had demanded that she hear him out this time. He had come here to ask for her response to the letter he sent to Jory and Lord Stark over a year ago, asking for her hand. It should have surprised him that she did not know of it but in truth, he remembered the day he had ridden to speak to her. Her brother had all the guards refuse him entrance.
Torrhen snorted. "Your brother would have hidden that letter away."
"He had every right to," she countered. "You are cruel! Why would you ever think that he would allow his sister to wed such a brute like you?"
"If you are talking about that day we argued in Karhold..."
"Of course, I am talking of it. You sent me from your bed because you thought me a child, because you thought me not pretty enough as the serving maid..."
"I never said anything of the sort!"
"You did not need to utter a word; your actions spoke volumes!"
"Did you not read any of my letters that I sent to you since that day?"
"No, I burnt them! Burned them the same way you burned me," her eyes narrowed at him.
"Is everything alright here?" Nysa looked behind Torrhen to see her brother standing there, his sword at the ready. "May I be of service to you, sister?"
"Yes," Nysa stood up straighter and lifted her chin in the air, "please escort Lord Torrhen out to the guest hall."
"I just need a moment," Torrhen did not look away from her.
"The King of Westeros is a guest of Winterfell," Jory announced. "If you present a danger to the people here, it is my duty to have you leave."
"I am the son of Lord Rickard Karstark," Torrhen continued to stare at Nysa, "you cannot..."
"You will find that he can," Nysa said. "Jory, please remove..."
"Just a moment, Nysa," Torrhen took a step forward, pleading with her, "please." She shook her head and Jory made to step forward. "My mother and my sister think highly of you, Nysa. And I know that respect is returned by you. If you will not do this for me, then at least do this for them. Please," he said one more time.
"Why did not just come yourself," she asked. "If you say that you sent me letters and were waiting for a reply then why..."
"Don't you think I tried that," he replied. "The moment I was done reading your letter that you left in my room, I raced here to Winterfell! Your brother and the rest of the guards would not even allow me to enter the gates! Ask him," Torrhen gestured to Jory. "I came here to tell you that I was fool. To let you know that I thought it was you who felt nothing for me."
"I offered myself to you," she marched towards him and stood less than an inch away. "If that was not sufficient for you, I know not..."
"The serving maids offered themselves too!"
"How dare you compare me to them!"
"But I am not," he shouted back. "Don't you see why I sent you away from my bed? I could not dishonor you!"
"I think that is enough, my Lord," Jory spoke up.
Torrhen pressed forward. "I could have taken you if I did not hold you in such high regard. I am the son of Lord, it was my right. But I could not do that to you and do you know why?"
Nysa shook her head as Jory tried once more to get Torrhen away from his sister.
"I will see that you can rest here for the night before you return back to Karhold. But you have spoken enough..."
"I love you, Nysa Snow," Torrhen shouted. A moment of silence fell on the three of them as she stood there watching him with tears in her eyes. "I had to tell you before you left for King's Landing," Torrhen said quietly before taking a few steps back. "You are not like the serving maids. You are not someone that a Lord can take to his bed and discard in the morning. You are more than that, more than your name. There are more ways to bring pride to your House and you showed me that."
Nysa looked away and wiped her face. She gasped when she felt him take her other hand in his. He lifted it and pressed a kiss inside her palm before bringing it to his face.
"I never thought of you as a child. You must have known that from the first day you arrived in Karhold that I admired you," he told her gently.
"As a friend but I..."
"I always believed that I would view my wife as my closest friend. Over the years my closest friend became the one person I lusted over every day I saw her," Torrhen added, "you are that person, Nysa. I understand if you do not accept my hand but I just wanted to let you know that the words of love in your letter meant everything to me. You claim that you left your heart in Karhold when you rode to Winterfell but know that when you leave for King's Landing, it is my heart that you will be leaving with."
They stared at one another while all the memories she had of them in Karhold had appeared in her mind. Torrhen moved to press his face further in her hand before stepping away. She let her hand drop as he walked with Jory.
Jory placed his cloak over the chair in his room. His quarters were large but simple. He had a room that was located within the keep so that he could be close to Nysa. When he had told Lord Stark that he was coming back home to nothing, he truly meant it. His father had died during the war. His youngest brother passed - taking their mother along with him during their previous Winter. His other two brothers never survived. And now all he had was this little girl. She was everything to him.
His fist clenched around his sword when he heard how that 'little girl' - a woman grown now - had offered herself to Torrhen Karstark. How could she have done that? His little sister had crept into a man's bed? Jory knew that something had happened two years ago when she came home from Karhold but he did not think that she had behaved so indecently, not Nysa. Perhaps she did have a little disobedience in her - what young person did not? She was overall a well-behaved and proper young woman. Her behavior at Karhold though, was something else.
Jory had only been too overjoyed when he heard Torrhen say that he had sent her away from his bed. A part of him wanted to be upset hearing this man declare that he lusted for his sister. Yet another part of him respected the man. Jory knew the temptation that a willing woman in bed could present. The fact that Torrhen had turned his sister away before anything could have been acted on meant the world to him. Although, he sighed and sat down on the edge of his bed to take off his boots, that could have been the reason why Nysa had returned to Winterfell believing he did not love her.
Just as he pulled his tunic over his head, the door to his chambers burst open. "Is it true," Nysa sobbed. "Is it true that Torrhen rode to Winterfell two years ago? Is it true that you did not allow him to enter? Is it true that he wrote a letter asking for my hand," she slammed the door shut and marched towards him. "Is it true, Jory?!"
Jory's heart broke for his sister almost as much as it did when she came home those two years pass. "Aye, it is."
"Why did you not tell me?"
"Do you not remember that day," he asked her. "Do not remember how Jon and I brought you back to Winterfell, sobbing? For days, the only person who could console you was Lady Stark. You refused to eat," Jory reminded his sister. "And every time I asked you, you would just start crying all over again. I knew he did something to you. It only confirmed itself when he showed up at the gates, demanding to see you. I knew then that he had hurt you. Why would I allow him to enter Winterfell to see you?"
"I talked to you after," she shook her head as the tears fell. "I explained to you that I told Torrhen of my love for him and that he rejected me. Why could you not tell me then that he had come?"
"What good would it have done?"
"At least I would have known that he had made an effort! Now all the letters that he sent make sense," she shouted. "He had to communicate with me somehow, especially since my brother refused to let him within Winterfell's walls!"
"May I remind you that you burned his letters!"
"It is because I thought he did not care!"
"Did you think that way when you were in his bed," Jory stood in front of her as Nysa's bottom lip trembled. "How do you think that made me feel, standing there when I heard you say that you offered yourself to him? My little sister in bed with a man," he cried out, "have you no shame, Nysa?"
Nysa's head dropped then as her vision blurred with tears.
"I never thought that you would behave in such a manner! Offering yourself to a man as though you lived at a brothel," he continued. "Haven't I taught you anything?"
"I'm sorry," she mumbled.
It was then that Jory realized he was shouting at his sister. He took a step back and shook his head, trying to look at any other place in the room other than at her. He did not mean to say such things to her. She had gone through enough as it is. A young woman's heart is a fickle thing - he should know. When one is young, one is naive. It was not her fault that she fell in love. He moved to create some space for them at the edge of the bed before taking her hands gently and leading her towards it. She sat down slowly and continued to cry.
"Are you really ashamed of me," Nysa asked after some time.
"No," he answered.
"But you are ashamed of my behavior," she stated.
Jory sighed and looked away from her. "A bit, yes," he confessed. "I cannot picture you as one that invokes arousal in men. You are my sister. But," he took a deep breath, "you are not my 'little sister' anymore. You have not been for some time. As I said, it is difficult to understand that other men have taken interest in you. You are and always will be my little sister, no matter how you grow." He smiled teasingly, "or how many ravens are sent to seek your hand."
She smiled softly as Jory leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
"Do you mind telling me the whole truth now?"
"We were at Last Hearth, enjoying some wine," Nysa started.
"Last Hearth," he questioned.
"It was during the time Lady Umber had fallen ill and I," she paused and took a deep breath, "and I healed her."
Jory nodded, remembering that occasion and urging her to continue.
"Later that night - when Greatjon had a feast for his wife - we were sitting alone at a table. He had begun whispering compliments in my ear. He touched my hand, my arm, my..."
"I do not need to know where his hands were," Jory stopped her causing her to blush.
"He asked me for a kiss but Lady Catelyn saw us and pulled me away. We had promised to see one another later so I went down to his room. But it seems that in my absence he had turned his attention to a serving maid. Lady Mariah saw this and said that the girl meant nothing to him. I could not understand why he had asked me for a kiss then once I was gone, he began to kiss another. We had returned to Karhold and he pretended as though it never happened. We returned to the same routine, taking rides together and training in the yard, talking and walking along the coast. Then one night I went to find him and found another kitchen maid entertaining him in the stables. I had become so furious."
"You do have to watch that temper of yours," he chuckled.
"That same kitchen maid called me a child some days later," she whined.
"At the time..."
"At the time I was four and ten. I had flowered three years before," she stated as Jory shifted uncomfortably. "I grew jealous that he would spend all his daylight hours with me but at night he sought comfort from another. That night, I cannot say what my intentions were when I went to his room or crawled into his bed," she added the second part quietly, "but I could not stand to see him with the serving maid or the girl from Last Hearth." Nysa wiped her face. "I just wanted to feel loved and I thought," she sobbed, "I thought he loved me."
"Nysa," he took her hand and made her look at him. "You told me that you proclaimed your love for him and he rejected you. You did not tell me that you went to his bed and he sent you away."
"Were they not the same?"
Jory smiled a bit before looking away. He reminded sitting here with another young woman, Raya. He could not love her as she loved him so he encouraged her to accept marriage to Joseth - Hullen's apprentice and who would likely become horse-master. They had been married for five years and had two daughters. Raya had not spoken to him since then but he knew that she was happy.
"Some men do not bed a woman because they love her," Jory explained. "I never thought that I would have to tell my sister this but I had behaved in such a way. I shared a bed with a young woman for some time. I suppose she thought that we would wed but I could not."
"You never told me that you loved anyone."
"That is just it, Nysa. There are men who will take a woman to their bed just to seek pleasure. I did just that. Later when it became apparent that the young woman developed feelings for me, I informed her that I could not wed her."
"But I'm sure you could if you..."
"If I wanted to but I did not," he finished for her. "I never found someone who made me feel things the way you feel for Torrhen Karstark. In truth, I should have acted more like him and sent the girl from my bed but I did not. The girl meant very little to me."
"I cannot believe that my own brother would behave such a way," Nysa shook her head.
"I did. And I suppose that it is I who should be ashamed of my own behavior rather than yours. You may not think so right now but Torrhen had done the honorable thing in rejecting you that night." Jory looked up at his sister.
"You think what he said in the hall is true?"
"I guess when you would not answer his letters, he decided to write to me and to Lord Stark. In there he confessed that his admiration, respect and consideration for you had grown into love. He spoke of your worth and how we would spend the rest of his life showing you how much he valued you," Jory smiled, "if you, Lord Stark and I gave him the chance."
"I don't know," Nysa looked away.
Jory turned fully towards her. "Remember that conversation we had about love and marriage?" His sister nodded. "I cannot say that I approve of your actions or of his taking other women but I do believe that what he said in the hall is true. I believe he does love you, Nysa. Only a man who would be willing to wed you before bedding you could care that deeply about you."
Nysa had done a good job at avoiding Torrhen for her remaining days at Winterfell. She had almost argued with Jon when she saw him later that evening. Before she could even open her mouth to yell at him, Jon wrapped his arms around her and told her that he was leaving with Uncle Benjen. There was no use in letting their last days together be filled with disagreement. She ate dinner with him that night in his room. Robb had been there along with Arya, Jory, Uncle Rodrik and a few other guards who respected Jon. It was a small affair with shared stories meant to humiliate Jon. It was not until he began sharing stories about everyone else that Nysa knew he was having trouble with leaving. He may have spoken about wanting to go there but he wanted to stay with them as well.
"You will be great, Jon," she embraced him before leaving his room. "I will pray to the Gods every night to keep watch over you. I know that it hurts," she whispered, "If you want to sneak out tonight, we can."
She had been one of the first to leave - with the guise of taking Arya to bed - because in truth she did not want to speak to Robb as well.
"I do not want him to go," Arya said sleepily as she climbed under her furs.
"I know," Nysa pulled them up, "neither do I."
"I want him to come with us to King's Landing."
"So, do I, Arya," she blew out one of the candles and went towards the other on the opposite end of the room.
"No," Arya sat up quickly.
Nysa stood up straight, away from the candle and looked warily at Arya. "Is something wrong?"
Arya looked about the room for a while. She couldn't admit to Nysa that she feared the dark. She had heard stories that Bran had read about the white walkers. Like father, she dismissed it. The Wall and those of the Night Watch had protected the realm for years, decades, even longer than that. But with Jon leaving, Bran's accident, mother in the state that she was and her, Nysa and father about to depart for King's Landing - it reminded her that the world was much larger than the North. There were things out there she did not understand. She was excited about all of it but tonight she did not want any more reminders of such dark tidings.
"You know," Nysa began to move towards the bed slowly, "when I was eight - just two name-days younger than yourself - I went to Karhold for the first time. I must admit that I was frightened. Before I left Winterfell, Theon had told me that on the Iron Islands they feed children to the seals so that the drowned Gods would forgive the Lords for their sins."
She sat on the bed beside Arya as Nymeria climbed on to the other side.
"I was so fearful of going to Karhold because the coast lay right there along with..."
Nysa looked at Arya intently. "The Bay of Seals," Arya answered quietly.
"Lady Karstark had not birthed Alys yet. I had been sent there to help her, make her comfortable and be with her when the child was born. She had lost her two babes before then and was fearful that the same would happen this time. There was a lot resting on my young shoulders. I told my brother not to leave in Karhold because I believed that Lord and Lady Karstark would let the seals eat me if I failed at my task," she smiled as Arya shook her head.
"They would not dare! You are a member of our household! Father would have considered it an act of treason. And the Starks and Karstarks are like kin," Arya stated boldly.
"That is true," Nysa nodded. "But it is hard to remember the good things when presented with something different and frightening."
Arya saw her point and looked down sheepishly. Both Maester Luwin and Nysa believed that Bran would live. They had found something in the tower - though she was not privileged to know what it was - and knew that soon justice would be dealt to the guilty party. Nysa was coming with her to King's Landing so she would not have to endure her sister all the time. Jon was going to the Wall but he was going to be protecting the whole of Westeros now. She trusted Jon with her life and soon others would as well. She'd let them know that her brother was there - guarding them from the strange things Bran had read about in his books.
"Do you see how I thought I would be fed to the seals? It is true that the Karstarks are loyal to your father. And they believe in the old Gods like your father, not the drowned Gods like those on the Iron Islands. But I felt that if I did fail that the seals were right there. Who was to say that Lord Rickard would not throw me into the bay with them?"
"What did you do to fight your fears?"
"I prayed to both the old Gods and the new to help me, guide me, be with Lady Karstark and her child," Nysa told her. "They heard my prayer then and I believe they will hear our prayers now with whatever concerns us. And," she paused, wondering if Arya would tell her, "is there anything that concerns you?"
"I am worried about Winter and the white walkers," Arya confessed. "I worry about Bran and leaving mother. I do not want to go to King's Landing and I do not want Jon to leave either."
"It is okay to be cautious when confronted with change, Arya. There are many things happening around us and despite how young you are, I know that you understand a lot of it."
"I do," Arya nodded. "Sansa says that I don't, but I do!"
"I know you do. As you Starks say, Winter is coming," Nysa nodded her head. "The Wall will need men who are brave and strong and faithful like Jon. That is why he is going. Your father wants to protect his dear friend, the King. Even the King knows that there is no one more loyal and trust-worthy than your father. In times like these, men like Jon, your father, Robb, Jory, Ser Rodrik, they are rare and hard to come by. That is why they do the things that they do," Nysa touched her shoulder and urged Arya to lay back. "Robb will be here with your mother. It is time he learns to become a Lord. And surely King's Landing will not be all bad, I will be there right along with you."
"I suppose you are right," Arya sighed.
Nysa smiled and kissed her forehead before adjusting the furs. "Other than having brave and loyal men around, it is good to have strong and honorable women as well. Your mother is needed to watch over Winterfell. Sansa is said to wed the Prince. They will need you to do your part as well."
"I will not marry a southern Lord."
Nysa let out a small laugh. "Believe me, I do not desire to wed one either."
"I wish you would wed Jon so he would stay."
A smile graced Nysa's face before she shook her head. "Jon and I love one another but our love is not like that. I think of him as a brother."
"Because you both do not know who your mothers are," Arya stated more so than questioned. She really did know a lot of what was taking place around her.
"We still have one more day to spend with him tomorrow. I suggest you try to get some sleep."
Arya nodded and turned to wrap her arm around Nymeria. Nysa began to hum a northern tune while smoothing her hand against Arya's hair before slowly standing from the bed. She went to walk towards the candle but looked back at the bed. Nymeria's head turned to look at her before laying it against Arya in a protective manner. Nysa smiled and walked out - letting the candle light flicker as she left.
The day before they were to leave, Robb pulled Nysa towards an empty hallway.
"I will miss you," Robb told her.
Nysa nodded. "I will miss you as well."
"If things were different..."
"You mean if I were not a bastard?"
"Do not say that," Robb shook his head.
"But that is the truth, isn't it," she questioned. "Robb, I can't say that I'm not upset. But I understand," Nysa looked down. "You are heir to Winterfell. You deserve a Lady who will help you manage the North. After all, in your father's place, you will one day become Warden of the North."
"I always hoped that Lady would be you," he told her honestly.
Nysa sighed and leaned forward to kiss his cheek. "You will always be my dearest friend, Robb. There are few people who I consider honest, caring and just," she pulled back, "you are one of them. You are also stubborn and do things without thinking some times," she added with a smile causing him to chuckle. "But you would not be you if that were not the case. I will think of you fondly," Nysa nodded.
"You are a wonderful person, Nysa," his hand lifted to touch her cheek.
Robb thought about his brother then. If Bran had not fallen, not been plagued with such uncertain life - then he would have let his father know. If they rejected Robb's choice of Nysa, then they could have Bran become Lord of Winterfell when he was ready. But as oldest he would need to become that Lord - as Nysa said take his father's place. And with it were certain expectations.
"Write to me," he asked of her, "and if, if for some reason, you return to the North and are still unwed then..."
"Why give birth to hope when there is none," she moved his hand.
"Because I have a feeling that there could be," he finished before kissing her forehead and leaving quickly.
Nysa watched him go. Did he mean that he would still consider her - despite her status? She did not want to know or think of it. Perhaps he meant to continue to keep her in secret. She thought then of her conversation with her brother and wondered what type of man Robb would be. Would he bed her just for pleasure or bed her out of love?
"You're in love with him aren't you," she turned to see Torrhen standing there.
"Is a conversation between two people no longer sacred," Nysa threw her hands up in the air.
Torrhen chuckled before stepping forward. "You best be used to it. I hear that in King's Landing, the walls themselves have ears," he leaned down and whispered, causing Nysa to slap his arm. He pulled back smiling, until he looked above her head and sighed. "I suppose that is the reason why I have not heard from you in two years."
"You know the reason why," she looked down.
Torrhen's hand lifted her head so they could look at one another. "Walk with me?"
It was getting dark and she still needed to pack a few things. Tomorrow they were to leave to King's Landing. She had argued with Torrhen the first day that he was here and had not spoken to him since. The least that she could do was talk with him. But at the same time, she did not want to venture down that road again. He had broken her heart once before. Dispite the war raging in her head and her heart, she took his offered hand and began to walk with him.
"I hear that you are to meet your Lord Uncle," Torrhen told her suddenly.
Nysa nodded. "He expressed wishes to meet me in his last letter. Apparently, your letter for my hand was not the only one to arrive in Winterfell," she blurted without thinking, "and he has been arranging for other matches from the South. I guess he wants my opinion on the matter." Torrhen's arm tightened and Nysa pulled her hand away. "Forgive me, I did not mean to boast or anger you."
Torrhen shook his head. "It was foolish of me to think that no other offer would come for you." He cleared his throat and looked away. "Could I ask of you to be honest with me," he asked. "Are there any offers that look promising?"
She took a deep breath in. "My brother demolished a training dummy to pieces and planned on sending that as his answer to one of the letters. When the second letter came, he wrote the refusal himself - the very same day. There was," she paused before clearing her throat. "There was one to wed another Snow," at that news a curse slipped from Torrhen's mouth. He knew who she spoke of. "My brother has declined that one as well. Come to think about it, the only one that my brother has not rejected outright has been yours."
He immediately turned back to her, his eyes searching hers. "And how do you feel on it?"
"I do not know yet," she answered truthfully. "Your rejection hurt."
"Surely you know that I was not rejecting you. I could not dishonor you," he began but Nysa held up her hand.
"I know," she said softly. "I suppose it was my pride that burned your letters and my brother's love for me that stopped you from seeing me when you first came here. I think if we were given the time then to discuss things it would not be so bad as it is now."
"Have your feelings for me changed?"
"It is not that simple," she shook her head.
"Because of Robb Stark," he pointed past her, towards the keep, "or because of what happened between us?"
"This has nothing to do with Robb."
"I think because he may have treated you a certain way that you fear allowing me that second chance. You want to run away to King's Landing and forget that..."
"I do want to run," she admitted. "I gave you my heart once before Torrhen. How do I know that this will not be the same? Did you know that Robb said he wanted me to stay but refuses to tell his father of his feelings for me? How do you know that you will not be ashamed of wedding a bastard later? This may just be lust or..."
"I am not ashamed of my love," Torrhen stood in front of her with the volume of his voice growing louder and harsher. Nysa gasped and looked away. "I did not seek you out to argue, Nysa. I merely wanted to let you know that I will be departing tomorrow as well. I will journey on the Kingsroad with your party and accompany the rest as they head North. Jon has informed me of his departure from Winterfell."
"You are not taking up the Black as well, are you," she reached for his arm.
Torrhen chuckled before shaking his head. "I thought I see you off. I did not want us to part in a such a manner again."
"Perhaps," Nysa spoke up quickly. "Perhaps we could have sup together, just me and you."
"I would like that." He leaned down and kissed her cheek softly before walking away.
