When Jess woke up, she admitted it was a tiny bit creepy. She had been moved to her bed sometime during the night (she so wasn't going to think how embarrassing it was that one of the guys had taken her in their arms) and when she woke up, already tired, at half past nine, all three of them were standing at the foot of the bed, staring at her, worried. She felt like a caged animal at the zoo, and she promised herself to never, ever go to see those poor creatures again. Because, if that was how they felt...well, she didn't envy them. Not a tiny bit.
And then, just like that, the fog of sleepiness that had been hugging her mind vanished, and she remembered why she had cried so much the previous day and why the guys were looking at her like she was crazy. But at least, she was crying, right? It was better than the reaction she had had at Sadie's, when she felt... nothing.
That was one of the steps of mourning, right? Even as she thought if there was anything to mourn for. It wasn't like someone she cared about had died. She hadn't lost a baby. She had just...she simply wasn't going to see her dreams coming true. But it wasn't like she had known beforehand that they were going to come true, so it wasn't like it was that rational that she was in mourning and...
God. She hated her life. Her life was a mess. And her mind and soul... even worse.
"Do you think that what she has could be contagious?" Schmidt asked, his eyes fixed on her. The other two looked at him like they could kill him, mentally reminding themselves to offer the jar afterward because of his insensitivity. "Maybe there's some kind of virus running amok at Sadie's. God... I need to call her office...I could have some kind of weird female virus ready to explode or… or... guys, do you think Sadie performs illegal experiments? Maybe she drugs her costumers and then illegally impregnates them to make people believe all that stuff about alien abductions... damn it... guys... do you think that Sadie hypnotizes people and then takes advantage of them? Oh my... maybe she violated both me and Jess while we had our feet in the stirrups! Or maybe... be honest. Do you think that what happened in that horrible Swartzenegger movie could be possible?" he asked them in distress, but with a rare seriousness, real concern. He almost looked on the verge of crying. Or of having a nervous breakdown. Or both. "Do you think that I could be... you know... pregnant?" he asked, all serious and dramatic, like it could actually be a real thing.
And, just like that, Jess started to cry. And not any cry. It was kind of... scary and glass-shattering. She sounded loud and desperate, she looked like she was a fountain. It was worse than when she had been watching Dirty Dancing 3 to 7 times a day, during the first month she had lived with them.
"JAR, SCHMIDT, JAR, JAR, JAR!" Nick screamed at the top of his lungs, pointing at the door, hoping that taking the offensive towards his so-called best friend could be of help in getting Jess to stop crying. He didn't like having people around him crying, but when it was her, it was even worse. AND he wasn't even going to try to explain to himself why it was so. Like he didn't like to talk about fee... emotions with the rest of the human race, he didn't like thinking about them too. Feelings represented the unknown. No one could say what was going to happen, if they were going to change or what, and he was scared of the unknown, of the uncertainty. And if he didn't take the risk... he couldn't get hurt.
"Jess, Jess, calm down, the big, bad man is gone...see? Schmidt is no longer here with us! Is it better? Yes it is! C'mon Jess, smile for us! Please?" he sat on the bed next to her, awkwardly patting her back, but he didn't get the reaction he was waiting for. Not even a tiny, little smile. He looked at Winston, like silently asking what he was supposed to do, but the other man just shook his head. He was in the dark too. It was bad enough dealing with women, but with Jess... Jessica Day was the weirdest of the weird ones; she was unknown territory even for the ones close to her. Maybe CeCe could have known what to do about it, but it wasn't like they could call her and tell to come over. Not with Schmidt that had just had an epiphany about his deep feelings for her, not when she didn't want him any longer after he had called things off because he was scared of admitting that he had feelings and...
God. They were such a mess!
"Jess...what's wrong?" Nick guessed that where humor had failed, finesse could get the better out of them, so he simply rubbed, tenderly, the skin of her shoulder, and spoke with a soft, low voice, very concerned. Yes, he guessed Jess needed to be with the guys right now, for whatever reason, but more than that, she needed her friends.
She turned on her side, so that she could at least see Nick. She wasn't sure she wanted to talk eye to eye, but it was better than being turned toward Winston. She loved him like a brother, and hey, he was probably the most normal of the group, but she just didn't feel like sharing this with him. It wasn't like they weren't close. It was just that, she had more things in common with Nick. Not that he could really, really understand what she felt like, but, they were an odd pair, it was just that.
"Sadie..." She started, sobbing, her voice broken by tears and sobs. "The test says that I have just few fertility years left. Three or four, maximum."
"Oh, Jess..." he tenderly told her, caressing her dark curls. Part of Nick desperately wanted to just take her in his arms and make it all go away, but he knew that life didn't work that way. He was mad at everything. At Sadie, at the damn test, at life, and even at himself. He wasn't an idiot, he knew that Jess was thinking again and again and again about his words. He had told her that she had time, that she was going to do it the right way. She was going to meet a guy, they would fall in love, get married and have a baby. But what if it didn't happen in those three years? He had lied to her. It hadn't been intentional, it wasn't his fault, but he was still mad with himself.
"What if I don't meet him in those three years? I can't afford to get my eggs frozen, nor a fertility clinic, and even if I could, what if it's like in that Jennifer Lopez movie, when she meets Alex O'Laughlin after she had been inseminated? Oh God... I will never have a family! I just wanted to have a family, that's all I ever asked, and now I can't because my stupid body doesn't want to create life! I told CeCe that only the evil and odd eggs were left, but she didn't believe me! She didn't, and that's the result!" As soon as she stopped her rant, she started to cry yet again, this time hiding her face in the crock of Nick's neck, wetting his shirt and staining it with the leftover of the make-up of the previous day. For the young man the whole thing was getting rather uncomfortable, but still he just patted her back, looking at his childhood friend for advice. Advice Winston couldn't provide with in any form.
"Gentlemen and lady (and please note that I just used the correct grammatical form), I don't understand why this whole drama. The solution, my friends, is right before our eyes." Schmidt started, indicating himself as soon as he re-entered the room. "Our beloved Jessica says that, now that she has just few years left to populate the world with her offspring, she can't afford the services of a clinic. But what if she had to pay just Sadie's 40 dollars? Insemination isn't normally covered by insurances but pre-natal check-ups are. And trust me, I know what I am talking about. My office is filled with women who are or have been pregnant. They are so desperate for attention, they talk, and talk, and talk some more... worse than listening to Nick moping after his last break-up."
"Hey! We are not here to talk about me! We are not supposed to talk about my lack of relationships! We are here for her, for Jess! We are supposed to talk about her, all right?"
Schmidt just rolled his eyes, shaking his head in disbelief at his friend's refusal to admit the truth.
"Anyway, Jess" he continued. "This is a problem easily solved. I'm going to man up and do the right thing, because I hear your feelings, and I want for you to have a baby."
"What?" she asked with a low, sniffing voice as Schmidt sat beside her on the bed and grabbed her cheek like she was a child and he was her annoying aunt.
Nick was glaring at him and mentally imagining all the ways to kill his best friend and get away clean with murder in the first degree. Because, frankly? He had a vague suspicion of where this was going, and he didn't like it, not a bit. He had almost killed Schmidt when Jess had tried to sneak into his room to have a one night stand (and back then, it hadn't been completely his own fault), and he had even gotten a step closer to success when the douchebag who he called a friend tried to kiss her. Sleeping with Jess to father a child with her?
No, no, no, no, no, NO!
"I have tadpoles of the Gods, Jess, and I am going to give them to you. You can have them all, because this is how much I love you. So, Jess... accept my sperm." he said, completely serious. Which was kind of scary.
Hey, hey, hey, wait a sec. If someone is gonna fertilize Jess, it should be me. With her beautiful, big blue eyes and my Blair Underwood skin, we'll have the most beautiful baby on the planet."
Nick wasn't sure what to do any longer as soon as he heard his childhood friend talking about impregnating Jess. Winston too? Now, Schmidt, he could understand, but Winston? His best friend among his best friends? The one who was supposed to understand that he was the boyfriend in waiting? No, No, no, no, NO! Why in hell was the world against him, why, why, why?
"Hey, you are right!" Schmidt turned to face Jess, yet again serious, so serious he looked like he was going to reveal something big as... as the cure of cancer. It was unbelievable how... ridiculously stupid he could be at times. "Jess, he is right. Your baby could go to every school you want."
"I WILL LOVE THE BABY WITH ALL MY HEART!" Nick screamed at the top of his lungs, unable to resist any longer. He needed to add his two cents before it was too late. She needed to know that he was supposed to be taken in consideration, too. And, essentially, that was all this was about. And he didn't know what card was left to play. Winston had played genetic, Schmidt the "I'll never have a family of my own because the only woman I ever loved is in love with someone else" card... really, the only thing left to do was showing her how he could... could love someone else. That he was willing to open up his... his heart to... to feelings and... stuff.
Jess looked at him with huge eyes, on the verge of tears, and immediately she jumped in his arms, holding him so forcefully he felt like losing consciousness.
And that was when it actually hit him: he had just offered to father Jessica Day's child. He didn't know what was going to happen. Part of him wanted for her to accept, while another was genuinely scared. Whatever was going on between the two of them was complicated enough, without adding the presence of a child. A child would have tied them together for life. A child would mean the future, the unknown, responsibility, adult choices. All things he had always been scared of. And yet, a small, hopeful smile graced his features, as images started to fill his mind.
Maybe... it would be all right. Maybe it could end well. Maybe this time he wouldn't screw this up.
Maybe. Such an hopeful word.
And yet, so damn scary.
