Disclaimer – Is Glee pretty much just gay porn? No, it is not, because I do not own it. But if I did own it… well, it would kind of be like Queer As Folk but with musical numbers thrown in.
Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.
Chapter 3
"Rachel!" Kurt yelled out irritably as he stormed into the living-room, his boxers riding low on his hips and his hair standing up in all directions.
"Good morning, Kurt," Rachel replied in a sing-song voice, one leg crossed over the other. "I take it you and Puck had fun last night. I have to say I'm surprised you moved on so quickly after Blaine."
"What the hell did you do?" Kurt demanded to know and Rachel bristled slightly at his angry tone. "My phone is full of texts and voicemail messages interrogating me about my relationship with Puck. Mercedes is warning me to stay away and telling me I deserve better, Tina's asking for details about Puck's penis, Finn sounds confused and traumatised, Quinn sent me a long text reminding me how Puck got her pregnant, Santana's congratulating me for embracing my gay and finally using my dick properly, Blaine sent an apology text and begged me to tell him that what he heard about me and Puck isn't true, I have four missed calls from my dad and a text from him saying he expects me to visit this weekend so we can have a serious discussion about my love life. Now tell me, what the hell is going on?"
"Ok, Kurt, take a deep breath and calm down," Rachel advised in a soft tone as she stood up and moved to stand before her roommate. "Now don't be mad."
"Oh, sweetie, I'm not mad," Kurt informed her through gritted teeth. "I am absolutely furious. Damn it, what now?" he huffed as his cell phone beeped alerting him to a new text. "You have got to be kidding me," he groaned pinching the bridge of his nose.
"What?" Rachel asked tentatively.
"Sebastian Smythe," Kurt seethed thrusting his phone under Rachel's nose.
"Nice work, Gay Face, that Mohawk guy's not bad," Rachel read out loud. "And don't worry about Blaine; I'll take good care of him."
"Seriously, what the hell is going on?" Kurt sighed looking spookily similar to how Finn looked whenever he was preparing to kick a chair.
"Well, I came home last night and I went in your room to check on you," Rachel said inching away slightly in case Kurt assaulted the furniture. "And I found you and Puck in bed together and your clothes were all over the floor and it was obvious you'd had sex…"
"Sex!" Kurt interrupted looking at Rachel like she'd grown an extra head, or even more unlikely, said something modest.
"Anyway, I just took one innocent little photo on my phone and sent it to a few people," Rachel admitted in a rush. "No big deal."
"Sex!" Kurt repeated. "Are you insane?"
"Don't be embarrassed, nobody's judging you," Rachel replied. "I admit that I was rooting for you and Blaine to get back together but if you and Puck want to date then that's your decision and you have my full support."
"I did not have sex with Noah Puckerman," Kurt screeched at her, doing a gesture with his hands that suggested he wanted to throttle her.
"Kurt, please, I saw you in bed together, it was obvious what the pair of you were getting up to," Rachel told him looking irritatingly smug.
"Oh come on," Kurt snapped in frustration when another text came through from Tina asking how Puck was in bed.
Moving past Rachel, Kurt headed to the kitchen to prepare himself a much needed cup of coffee. He set his phone on the kitchen unit with more force than was necessary and ignored it every time it beeped.
"Morning my hot little bitches," Puck greeted wandering out of Kurt's bedroom. "What's for breakfast?"
"Why don't you ask your new boyfriend?" Rachel replied teasingly as she sat back on the couch.
"We are NOT boyfriends," Kurt gritted out in annoyance as the kettle boiled. "And we did NOT have sex. Puck, will you tell Miss Blabber-mouth that we did NOT have sex."
"We didn't have sex," Puck shrugged. "Could you make me some waffles, babe?"
"You don't need to lie, Noah," Rachel said to Puck as Kurt bustled around the kitchen making himself coffee and pointedly not making Puck waffles. "I saw the two of you with my own eyes."
"Right, and what did you see exactly?" Puck asked scratching at his balls through his underwear before slumping onto the sofa, resting his feet on the coffee table.
"Feet down," Kurt and Rachel said together and Puck frowned before doing as he was asked.
"I came home last night and I saw the two of you in bed together," Rachel revealed. "Your clothes were strewn all across the floor. It wasn't difficult to work out."
"And Miss Can't-keep-her-mouth-shut took a photo of us on her phone and sent it out to everybody," Kurt grumbled joining them in the living-room with his coffee and a plate of buttered toast.
"That's not waffles," Puck pouted looking at the plate.
"You're not getting waffles," Kurt told him bluntly and Puck sulked a little more before grabbing a slice of toast, Kurt glaring at him for doing so.
"I did not send the photo to everyone," Rachel said defensively. "I just sent it to Tina, Mercedes and Finn. It's no big deal."
"Yes it is," Kurt retorted with a huff. "And you're too self-absorbed to even realise what you've done wrong."
"He's right," Puck agreed. "That was a pretty crappy move. Bad friend award," he told her shaking his head in disappointment. "And there was no sex. I just took Kurt out to a club last night to take his mind off of Blaine and get him to have a little fun. Then I brought him back here and helped him into bed. And if you take a second look at that photo you took you'd realise that our underwear wasn't on the floor because we still had our boxers on. It was just two dudes sharing a bed. No different to you sharing a bed with Mercedes."
"You really didn't have sex?" Rachel asked looking between the two boys uncertainly.
"We really didn't," Kurt answered through clenched teeth.
"Rachel, come on, if I got laid I'd be the first to brag about it," Puck pointed out.
"Oh," Rachel said looking a little embarrassed.
"Oh," Kurt repeated with a slight sneer. "Is that all you have to say, 'oh'? No apology?"
"I'm sorry, Kurt," Rachel sighed. "I didn't think. I just saw you together, made assumptions and I just had to tell somebody about it. I'm really sorry."
"Whatever," Kurt replied getting up and heading to the bathroom to shower.
To Be Continued
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