Sweet God

Sweet God! Thanks a lot for reviewing! I love you guys! And did I mention that Makoto is Naruto's second son and Mika is the first? PS: If there are any confusing stuffs, just tell me and I'll answer it pronto! Okay! Let's continue my favorite chappy of all: Man-to-man talk! Enjoy and don't forget a steaming bowl of popcorn!

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All Are Parents!

Summary: The Naruto gang are all parents! "Say, Sakura, I wanna play," "Sasuke, I said no! For goodness sake-" "Tenten, your baby's puke!" "Tatsuya! Come back here!" "Mom, Kaida burnt the kitchen!" "Why can't I have a girlfriend?!" Oh, the frustration!

Contents: Humor, Parent life, mild cursing and some lusty thoughts

Chappy Three: Man-to-man talk

The next day, a much unexpected thing happened. Jin was the last to wake up and the last to go training. And that wasn't all, his face was as red as a beetroot since he woke up and whenever there's a single mention of an S-lettered word he threw up and his nose bled severely. Jin refused to eat breakfast that morning and said that he really doesn't need any medicine when his mother asked him to take some pills.

"Jin, what's wrong?" Sakura asked her son worriedly. "Why aren't you eating?"

Jin juts shook his head. When Sakura was about to say the word 'Sasuke', blood gushed out so suddenly from his nose. Tatsuya's eyes were shining and twinkling; he knew what kind of prank to play on his brother. Although he behaved with much idiocy he was smart.

"Sachiko!" He bellowed from the living room. Sachiko turned her head to Tatsuya as more blood came out from Jin's nose. Sakura was beginning to be frantic; looking for a clean towel for her son. Tatsuya continued his teasing.

"Slap!" More blood.

"Slob!" Jin coughed.

"Switch!" Jin was turning redder.

Tatsuya grinned wickedly. He had this powerful word to be used...

"SEX!" He bellowed.

Clang!!

Sakura had accidentally dropped the plates she was lifting up and Sachiko was suffocating from lack of oxygen. Gin knocked her head on the brick wall (oof, that's gotta hurt) by accident and Sasuke's leg kicked the dining table as soon as the word 'sex' was heard. Jin had faced the worst effect: He passed out on the floor with a loud 'thud', together with blood still gushing out of his nose. Sachiko and Gin glared menacingly towards Tatsuya; for a while they appeared demonic and scary but then –

"You (burp) bro, why the (burp) didn't you tell us you could do that?" Gin cursed happily.

"Awesome!" Sachiko commented.

"Hi-five!" They slapped each other's palms.

"It's not funny!" Sakura said crossly as she held her son in the right way. "Tatsuya, where on earth did you learn to say words like that? And you two-" She addressed Sachiko and Gin. "Sachiko, you're grounded next week! If you're able to redeem yourself, than I'll lift the punishment from you – and Gin-chan, no chicken for this week. It's broccoli. And red cabbages."

The three looked at their upset mother in horror.

"B-but mum, I just hi-fived with h-him..." Gin started sorrowfully. Why does she have to face such a terrible fate?

"We didn't do anything-"

"I just said that word for fun-"

"It's not fair!"

"It's all your fault, Tatsuya!"

"Excuse me?"

"You started it!"

"No, I didn't!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Oh yeah?"

"You're the one who made Jin pass out!"

"I didn't!"

"Well, you said the word-"

"Where did you ever learn that?"

"Kakashi-sensei, but I don't know what it means,"

"Spend less time with that hermit-"

"Yeah you-"

"Shut the fuck up and go training, I'll look after Jin." Sasuke said calmly, silencing his children. They cast surly looks at each other and bid goodbye to their parents before they disappeared into three puffs of smoke. A raging Sakura faced Sasuke with Miako in her arms.

"Sasuke, why did you that?" She asked him crossly. "I haven't arranged Tatsuya's punishment yet!"

"Calm down, Sakura," Sasuke said. "I know how to deal with Jin. Consider it as a man-to-man talk,"

Sakura raised her elegant eyebrow and looked skeptically at Sasuke.

"Did you tell him anything stupid?" She asked suspiciously.

"No," Sasuke stated.

Sakura gave Sasuke another suspicious glare and noticed the maniacal gleam in his eyes, but she couldn't see what in the world Sasuke had to do with Jin's fever. She then went to the kitchen to feed Miako her daily breakfast. Sasuke, in the other hand, folded his newspaper and placed it neatly on the table. The unconscious Jin was in his room with a still red face. Jin opened his eyes when he saw his father coming towards him.

"Yo Jin," Sasuke said. "I know this is hard – but bear with it. At least you got to know it when you're fourteen. It's a ritual for all Uchiha mankind; my dad told me that stuff when I was seven."

Jin gave a mighty cough.

"What? Seven?"

"Yeah, the horror of it – you wouldn't know. Say, don't tell your mum about this; she doesn't have any inkling about it."

"Y-yeah."

"So, how you're doing?"

"I-I don't think...Dad, I just – can't."

"Yeah, what a fib." Sasuke said coolly. "You'll get the hang of it. You'll have dreams about Mika after, and then finally when you reached your limit I guess you won't be able to restrain to f-- her. Mind you, she's got parents so you've got to be careful. Naruto hates unsuspecting people."

"Why did you know so much about this?" Jin asked, frowning. "And mum's got parents, right?"

"Yeah, they died three months after I leave Konoha,"

"Oh,"

"That leaves me free to rape her."

"You're a fucking lusty man-whore,"

"Yeah, you're a stupid ass-kid,"

Both chuckled – since Uchihas don't laugh.

"Say dad, I mean it."

Silence.

"Yeah, I am lusty."

Jin sighed.

"Is it true that you raped mum when you're fifteen?"

"Oh crap, fuck! Don't talk about it now, or else I think I'm gonna blast with perverted imaginations,"

"But it's true, right?"

"Yeah, she's so tight...Fuck, fuck!"

"...Dad..."

"Hn?"

"...You're so...lusty."

--

"Jin's absent," Rock Lee said hollowly.

"WHAT?" Nara Keitaro asked, thinking that his ears had deceived him. "Can you repeat, sensei?"

"I said, Jin's absent,"

"WHAT?!" The two remaining teammates shouted. Was God angry today? Would the earth collapse in a second or two? Jin not coming to training equals to rain gold from the sky and Gin eating vegetables – Would Gin eat vegetables today?

"Hey guys, what's the matter?" Gin shouted suddenly, having spinach and red cabbages in her hands and was munching a veggie cracker. Rock Lee, Mika and Keitaro had their jaws drop in an extremely severe way and they couldn't believe their eyeballs.

"She eats VEGETABLES??" Mika thought.

"Sasuke-san's daughter is eating vegetable crackers..."

"The world is colliding!" Keitaro shouted suddenly, and the others followed his actions – crouching down and putting their arms on their heads. Gin poof-ed away to see their idiocy and disappeared. They stayed in that position for a long time, muttering spells and protection and forgiveness to God before the time they would die. People passing through sweat-dropped and whispered; thinking that this might be one of Rock Lee's stupid ideas of a warm-up exercise. He was quite popular as a Konoha's Green Idiot (KGI for short) among the villagers. Jin, who arrived two hours later himself mumbled darkly to see his teammates doing. It was a good thing he came late after all.

"What the fucking hell are you stupid airheads doing?"

At the sound of his voice, the three perked their ears and Mika jumped towards Jin, hugging him.

"Yay! Jin, you came! We thought the world's gonna be destroyed!" She said, squeezing him. Jin didn't go red, instead he began to notice that some of Mika's body parts felt mushy and soft...What the hell did his father told him?

"B-but," Keitaro added. "What about vegetable-eater Gin?"

"She's forced to eat those by mum," Jin said.

Suddenly, the three's respiration system was not stuck again and they could breathe freely. Mika was still hugging Jin.

'She's so soft...'

--

"ACHOO!" Tatsuya sneezed in the middle of his training, exactly in front of Hyuuga Akio.

Akio went into his furious mode he inherited from his mother: "WHY IN THE FUCKING DAMNED SATAN'S HELL THAT YOU'RE ALWAYS SNEEZING NI FRONT OF ME, YOU STUPID FUCKING MAN-ASS?"

Tatsuya whimpered. Akio can turn very scary sometimes.

"There, there, Akio," Makoto said, smiling like usual. "He doesn't mean it, do you, Tatsuya?"

"No, I don't!" Tatsuya gabbled quickly.

"See, Akio?" Makoto said. Akio turned towards him with his angry mode still switched on.

"MAKOTO, HOW MANY TIMES SHOULD I SAY THAT THIS STUPID, FUCKING DUMB-ASS WITH A ROOSTER HEAD IS GUILTY? IT'S POINTLESS TO DEFEND HIM! HE'S STUPID AND HE'S STUPID!! JUST DON'T DEFEND PEOPLE LIKE HIM, OKAY? IT'S STUPID!! YOU HEAR ME, MAKOTO? HUH? YOU -"

To my surprise, Makoto was still smiling. He pressed his index finger on Akio's sides and Akio passed out. This was one of the famous ways how Makoto could control the Hyuuga, he pressed his finger on Akio's sides and the boy would pass out but with all his anger flying to the sky from him, heading heaven or hell I don't know.

Tatsuya looked at the scene in front of him with amazement, and then he applauded with anime tears in his eyes.

"Makoto! You saved me!!"

"I did? Hooray," Makoto said pleasantly.

"Yeah, hooray!" Kakashi-sensei interrupted suddenly.

"Finally, the old hermit has arrived," Tatsuya said, sniggering on Kakashi's flabbergasted look.

"I am NOT old!!" Kakashi denied. "Sheesh, teens nowadays are so rude,"

"Nah, if you ever come early for once I'll call you Konoha's Great Grey Beast!! Isn't that wonderful?"

"No! Do not insult my hair, Tatsuya – what's Akio doing?"

"Makoto used his secret technique and poof! Akio dies,"

"Actually, he went all berserk when Tatsuya sneezed on him for the twenty-fifth time of the hour so I pressed his sides and he kinda calmed down a little," Makoto said, smiling.

"Ah," Kakashi replied. "That,"

"What are we going to learn today, sensei?" Makoto asked politely.

"Ah, that's an interesting question." Kakashi said, rubbing his chin mischievously. "You see, Naruto-kun said sorry to give you such a crappy mission today: We're gonna go to old Orochimaru's ex-hideout and look for certain stuffs there. You know, the origin of curses – and clues. It's an S-rank mission."

Tatsuya jumped ecstatically, shouting, "Yeah, Naruto-ji-chan! You rock!!"

Makoto's light bulb went ding!

"Say, Tatsuya, that's also your dad's ex-hideout as well, right?" Makoto inquired in the usual polite way. "You know, when he betrayed Konoha?"

"Oh! GREAT! I LOVE YOU NARUTO-JI-CHAN!!"

--

Rokudaime's Office

Naruto sneezed four times straight till he felt his head is gonna go off.

"Someone must've loved me a lot," He said, sniffing his nose. "But I get the feeling it's not Hinata,"

--

It's the time of the day when there's no more sun but stars and moon in the dark blue sky, when there's said ghosts lurking around, and the time to go home, take a bath and eat like a pig. Sachiko returned home with Gin like always, Tatsuya was trudging behind them and was smiling triumphantly. Jin was, surprisingly, the earliest.

"JIN! YOU ARE EARLY??"

"What? It's a crime, huh?"

"Well no, but it's weird!"

"Whatever,"

Tatsuya was still grinning and sniggering. Sasuke raised his eyebrows.

"Why are you looking so happy today?"

Tatsuya shook his head. He was so not going to tell his father he found some dusty panties in his father's ex-hideout/ ex-room while he was on a mission a minute ago. Now, who do you think those panties belong to? Tatsuya was trying to think of that...

--

Makoto's house

Naruto looked flabbergasted and his left eye was twitching.

"You found panties – in Sasuke-teme's ex-room?" He said.

"Yes, dad," Makoto said, he was not smiling now. Instead, there were pink tints in his cheeks. "Err...Do you know why?"

"No! Of course not!!" Naruto said.

'Yes! Of course I do! But I don't want my son's head raped!'

--

Just like yesterday, Sasuke and Jin were on the top of the roof. Tatsuya can't sneak over cause he called Sachiko big-boobs and was unfortunately left unconscious in bed. Gin was teaching Miako curses. Sasuke had an orange book in his hand.

"Hey, Jin, take a look at this,"

Jin took the book, puzzled.

"It's called Icha-Icha Paradise; and for starters, you might want to read that. When you're okay with it I'm going to introduce you to another more advanced book."

"Oh,"

"Be sure not to read this in front of everybody, except me."

"Okay." Jin said. "Hey dad, our man-to-man talk is getting good, right?"

"Yeah, and Tatsuya's going to know this stuff when he's fifteen,"

"Yeah. What about Gin and Sachiko?"

"Jin, girls – are not supposed to know this,"

"Oh,"

Silence erupted when Jin thought of something.

"Dad, can you tell me how did you get tactics to do that to mum? You know, besides Icha-Icha,"

Sasuke smirked.

"Imaginations are important,"

"Can you tell me what happened again? I think I'm starting to enjoy it," Jin said, smirking the exact way his father did.

"Good boy," Sasuke said, smirking again.

--

Flashback

A tired, almost fifteen-year-old Sakura dragged her feet lazily towards the village of Konoha. Of course, she knew it was better for her to jump tree-to-tree like ninjas usually did; but after the extremely tiring mission at Suna; with the Kazekage trying to grope her butt everyday, it made her exhausted like Hell! Her chakra was running low and she barely had the energy to walk, and she decided to rest and had a good sleep for a while.

As she trudged through the lush green forest, she looked for a large tree for her to rest to. She found a large one later on, and she happily sat down under it. Her medical bag was placed beside her and she soon fell into a deep slumber.

When she woke up, she noticed she couldn't move her arms – or her legs, for the matter. She fluttered her eyes open and gasped as she noticed she was no longer in a forest. She was now in a sort of dungeon, and as far as she could make it she was trapped. Trying to pull the metal handcuffs tied around both her arms and legs; she gasped as she heard a deep voice, "Don't try to escape, it's no use,"

She turned her head and came face-to-face with her old teammate, Uchiha Sasuke. Surprisingly, he was smirking.

"S-Sasuke?"

--

Sasuke was about to tell the incident where he raped Sakura when they were in their early teens when Sachiko shouted, "Dad, Miako is saying curses! Stupid Gin's taught her to say Tatsuya is a (burp)!!"

Sasuke and Jin's eyes bulged slightly.

"What the Hell? GIN!!"

--

I just love humor.

See ya,

Nakano Miki-Chan